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Online Emotional Connections

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Thread: Online Emotional Connections

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
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    England
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    153

    Default Online Emotional Connections

    Been a while folks, hope your all well.

    How do you guys feel about online friendships?

    Ive had a friend on Playstation Network for 3 and a half years. I call her L. Over the years we chatted alot and became close, or as close as you can get online I guess. Over Xmas I started to think I had feelings for her more than just friendship. Since then our friendship has fell apart and Ive been the only one trying to save it. Its had a large negative impact on me. Before Xmas everything was running smoothly, now I feel like Ive lost someone very important to me. Chin up and move on just aint doin much to dent the pain.

    Alot of you guys have been around here for a long time, so I guess maybe you kinda understand where Im coming from?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Kansas City
    Posts
    3,847

    Default Re: Online Emotional Connections

    I think it's like any friendship, with the exception being that it is somewhat easier to hide who you are online, or to present the best parts of yourself. So maybe it takes a little bit longer to really form the friendship (although not always; sometimes you just click with people). And it's probably easier to lose because physical life takes precedence.

    All that being said, there are plenty of people that I know via internet only whom I'd be happy to do things with in meatspace if such a thing were likely. (Most of them hang out here.)

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Tennessee
    Posts
    2,210

    Default Re: Online Emotional Connections

    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post
    Been a while folks, hope your all well.

    How do you guys feel about online friendships?

    Ive had a friend on Playstation Network for 3 and a half years. I call her L. Over the years we chatted alot and became close, or as close as you can get online I guess. Over Xmas I started to think I had feelings for her more than just friendship. Since then our friendship has fell apart and Ive been the only one trying to save it. Its had a large negative impact on me. Before Xmas everything was running smoothly, now I feel like Ive lost someone very important to me. Chin up and move on just aint doin much to dent the pain.

    Alot of you guys have been around here for a long time, so I guess maybe you kinda understand where Im coming from?
    I have no idea what Playstation Network is.

    Is this friend a virtual friend or a living being?
    Someone with whom you've spoken over the phone?
    Met?
    Can't give advice until you fill in the blanks.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Brooklyn, NY
    Posts
    174

    Default Re: Online Emotional Connections

    I don't really think of online personas as friends (with very few exceptions). Friends, for me exist in the real world, and are people I have known for years. I know them as real, flesh and blood people, with all that comes with.

    Also, online "friends" are way to eager to say things that are thoughtless and rude, mostly because they aren't face to face with you.

    Message boards (yes, even this one), are a lot like going to a party where you don't really know anybody... the cliques are already formed and outsiders (newbies) are left to listen to inside references and jokes.

    I come here to find out about Stephen King related info. Occasionally I make the mistake of looking at one of the hot topics (politics, religion, etc...) and if I am foolish enough to add my thoughts on the subject because someone has posted something that just cries out for rebuttal, well, it just isn't worth the trouble. Insults invariably render constructive conversation impossible.

    As for the rest of the board, I have to say there are a lot of funny people who say things that make me laugh. In a good way!

    And Marsha, Jordan etc...keep the SK info going so that it really is worth visiting.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    a haunted,drafty balcony overseeing my kingdom...waiting for my King...
    Posts
    720

    Default Re: Online Emotional Connections

    I know how you feel, Baz...this happened to me a few years back...there was someone I just clicked really well with and we became very close. I found myself thinking about that person 24 hrs. a day...and with me being married, that was a big no-no. So I had to tell myself what my priorities were--my husband and my family and not to lose my head over someone who I didn't even know personally, I mean, we never met in person and probably never would. We are still good friends but I've learned to back off a little. There were also some other people whom I was very much friends with, they were great people to joke and have fun with...but sometimes things can happen that can bring out a person's ugly side, and I saw this side to them and decided I didn't want to be around those kind of people--the kind that like to hurt others and just don't care about others feelings. That was hard because I had come to think of them as really good friends and I was severely disappointed by their actions. But, you just have to know when it's time to move on, and I have and I've met a lot of new friends, for which I'm grateful but I've learned to hold back a little, not be so forward with all my emotions. The internet is a crazy place and if you're too gullible, it'll suck you up and leave you dry. Join some other groups and make some other friends, Baz, maybe that'll help spread your attention around and you won't miss your friend so much with other stuff to keep you busy. Good luck!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    England
    Posts
    153

    Default Re: Online Emotional Connections

    Im a gamer an Playstation Network is just the online side of Playstation 3.

    Shes a real person. A gamer too.
    Spoken many times over the years.
    Not met in for real (in meatspace)

    I felt like I knew her after so long but Im starting to question that. Its like Ive lost my best friend. We were team partners on Assassins Creed, we even got into the top 20 ranking.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    England
    Posts
    153

    Default Re: Online Emotional Connections

    Quote Originally Posted by Evil Queen View Post
    I know how you feel, Baz...this happened to me a few years back...there was someone I just clicked really well with and we became very close. I found myself thinking about that person 24 hrs. a day...and with me being married, that was a big no-no. So I had to tell myself what my priorities were--my husband and my family and not to lose my head over someone who I didn't even know personally, I mean, we never met in person and probably never would. We are still good friends but I've learned to back off a little. There were also some other people whom I was very much friends with, they were great people to joke and have fun with...but sometimes things can happen that can bring out a person's ugly side, and I saw this side to them and decided I didn't want to be around those kind of people--the kind that like to hurt others and just don't care about others feelings. That was hard because I had come to think of them as really good friends and I was severely disappointed by their actions. But, you just have to know when it's time to move on, and I have and I've met a lot of new friends, for which I'm grateful but I've learned to hold back a little, not be so forward with all my emotions. The internet is a crazy place and if you're too gullible, it'll suck you up and leave you dry. Join some other groups and make some other friends, Baz, maybe that'll help spread your attention around and you won't miss your friend so much with other stuff to keep you busy. Good luck!
    Thanks Evil Queen.

    Im guessin you do see where Im comin from as shes married to. For a long time I had my emotions under check, everything was just friendship. Id learned a long time ago you can get into trouble if you develop to strong of feelings for someone online. So 3 years went by great, until I decided like a fool to see if there was more to it. She is in no way or form intent on forgiving me either.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Tennessee
    Posts
    2,210

    Default Re: Online Emotional Connections

    Baz,
    There are plenty of ways to say to a person that you're interested in a platonic friendship only and preserve an online communiqué.
    She didn't pass that particular diplomacy course.
    Leave her in your dust and move on. There'll be someone else who values you and your friendship, and hopefully she's available emotionally.
    I'm sorry you're feeling awful. This too shall pass.
    Love, Lily

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    a haunted,drafty balcony overseeing my kingdom...waiting for my King...
    Posts
    720

    Default Re: Online Emotional Connections

    So 3 years went by great, until I decided like a fool to see if there was more to it. She is in no way or form intent on forgiving me either
    Give her a little time..as you say yourself, she is married and maybe she doesn't want to jeopardize anything. If she truly values your friendship, she will see there's nothing wrong with a platonic relationship....but if she doesn't, then just go your own way, it's best not to look for her.
    Last edited by Evil Queen; April 5th, 2013 at 01:46 PM.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    England
    Posts
    153

    Default Re: Online Emotional Connections

    Quote Originally Posted by Lily Sawyer View Post
    Baz,
    There are plenty of ways to say to a person that you're interested in a platonic friendship only and preserve an online communiqué.
    She didn't pass that particular diplomacy course.
    Leave her in your dust and move on. There'll be someone else who values you and your friendship, and hopefully she's available emotionally.
    I'm sorry you're feeling awful. This too shall pass.
    Love, Lily
    Thank you Lily, its the letting go Im struggling with.

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