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Jokes - Page 3

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Thread: Jokes

  1. #21
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
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    TN
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    995

    Default Re: Jokes

    jokes just fall flat for me. I never can remember the punchlines--or I blurt it out too soon and ruin it all. that said, I LOVE to read them tho! Ya'll (or should I say 'you guys') keep going! I'm rofl! see? lol

  2. #22
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    Aug 2010
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    TN
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    995

    Default Re: Jokes

    91rewoT-did you make that up just for me??? hahahahaaa. (yup Cindy IS my name-ha) and skmb is where I usyually am when not on skc/fb lol....ok now I'll let MYSELF out now...

  3. #23
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Wakefield Yorkshire England
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    982

    Default Re: Jokes

    What did the inflatable teacher say to the inflatable pupil at the inflatable school?


    Not only have you let me and the school down but most of all you've let yourself down

  4. #24
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Biggest Little City in the World!
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    271

    Default Re: Jokes

    Champ1966? Your avatar is the most hilarious thing I have seen all day! And I'm a Christian. There's a personal reason why that is so funny to me, but thank you for using it, all the same.
    And when did "guys" become offensive?

  5. #25
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Somewhere over the rainbow
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    1,401

    Default Re: Jokes

    What kind of concert ticket only costs 45 cents?


    50 Cent including Nickelback

  6. #26
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Atlanta GA
    Posts
    10,280

    Default Re: Jokes

    Quote Originally Posted by MrsSmeej View Post
    What kind of concert ticket only costs 45 cents?


    50 Cent including Nickelback
    Oh, so going all mathematical on us?

    Teaching Math in 1950:
    A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?

    Teaching Math in 1960:
    A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?

    Teaching Math in 1970:
    A logger exchanges a set "L" of lumber for a set "M" of money. The cardinality of set "M" is 100. Each element is worth one dollar. Make 100 dots representing the elements of the set "M". The set "C", the cost of production contains 20 fewer points than set "M". Represent the set "C" as a subset of set "M" and answer the following question: What is the cardinality of the set "P" of profits?

    Teaching Math in 1980:
    A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

    Teaching Math in 1990:
    By cutting down beautiful forest trees, the logger makes $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question? How did the forest birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down the trees? There are no wrong answers.

    Teaching Math in 2000:
    By laying off 402 of its loggers, a company improves its stock price from $80 to $100. How much capital gain per share does the CEO make by exercising his stock options at $80. Assume capital gains are no longer taxed, because this encourages investment.

    Teaching Math in 2006:
    A company outsources all of its loggers. They save on benefits and when demand for their product is down the logging work force can easily be cut back. The average logger employed by the company earned $50,000, had 3 weeks vacation, received a nice retirement plan and medical insurance. The contracted logger charges $50 an hour. Was outsourcing a good move?

    Teaching Math in 2007:
    A logging company exports its wood-finishing jobs to its Indonesian subsidiary and lays off the corresponding half of its US workers (the higher-paid half). It clear-cuts 95% of the forest, leaving the rest for the spotted owl, and lays off all its remaining US workers. It tells the workers that the spotted owl is responsible for the absence of fellable trees and lobbies Congress for exemption from the Endangered Species Act. Congress instead exempts the company from all federal regulation. What is the return on investment of the lobbying costs?

  7. #27
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
    Posts
    3,926

    Default Re: Jokes

    Q: Why so much confusion around Joe Paterno's death?
    A:

    Because Penn State never reported it to the proper authorities.


    Tasteless, I know, but I'm more of a Pitt fan.

  8. #28
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Wakefield Yorkshire England
    Posts
    982

    Default Re: Jokes

    Quote Originally Posted by StoryTellerRose View Post
    Champ1966? Your avatar is the most hilarious thing I have seen all day! And I'm a Christian. There's a personal reason why that is so funny to me, but thank you for using it, all the same.
    And when did "guys" become offensive?
    I meant I would tell some non offensive jokes,trust me I know lots of offensive ones

    Yeah the avatar is quite funny

  9. #29
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Wakefield Yorkshire England
    Posts
    982

    Default Re: Jokes

    How do we know the CIA weren't involved in the assasination of JFK?


    He died didn't he

  10. #30
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Wakefield Yorkshire England
    Posts
    982

    Default Re: Jokes

    (only Brits will get this one)

    Geordies have been leaving the cinema disappointed to find that War Horse wasn't about THEIR horse

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