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Finally: An Anti-Rape PSA that Puts the Onus on Men - Page 2

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Thread: Finally: An Anti-Rape PSA that Puts the Onus on Men

  1. #11
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    Default Re: Finally: An Anti-Rape PSA that Puts the Onus on Men

    What sort of drives me a bit nuts about these situations is, where are these girl's friends? Surely she came to this party with friends. Of course, there are one-on-one dates that are just between the daters, but these big party rapes, where are her friends?

    When I was young, my friends and I hit every keg. Every one. We flirted our asses off for free beer. BUT, we were very protective of each other. If the group determined that someone was getting pulled off to the side by some guy, we went and got her. We honestly watched out for each other. We took responsibility for each other. And we had a rule: Any time we did things as a group of girls -- you came with the girls, you leave with the girls. If the group wanted to go into town and one girl didn't, too bad. We voted and majority ruled. EVERYONE moved as one. If someone wanted to be with a certain guy, that was okay, but when the group left, you left. If you wanted to spend more time with the guy, you make a date for another night.

    We would NEVER have allowed one of our friends to be gang raped and a video shot at a party full of people. We would have rounded her up and protected her.

    Where are other women at these parties? Why don't they step up en masse and save these girls?

    And not letting guys off the hook at all. Their thinking needs to change for sure.
    Last edited by Dana Jean; March 26th, 2013 at 10:26 AM.
    "You've been here before, but things are about to change. I know it. I feel it. There's a storm on the way." -- Stephen King

  2. #12
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    Default Re: Finally: An Anti-Rape PSA that Puts the Onus on Men

    Quote Originally Posted by Dana Jean View Post
    We would NEVER have allowed one of our friends to be gang raped and a video shot at a party full of people. We would have rounded her up and protected her. Where are other women at these parties?
    I got a phonecall from the 18-year-old sister of an ex-boyfriend. She was panicked because she'd had unprotected sex after a night of booze and pot over at a local college frat house, and wanted me to accompany her to a public health clinic to get an HIV test. She didn't want her (alarmist, squawky, obnoxious) mother to know what had happened, so I took pity on her and got her over to the clinic.

    I figured that week of agonizing while she waited for results was punitive enough for her to have figured out that what she did was stupid. When we went back to get results, which were negative, I took her to dinner afterwards and asked her "where were your friends? My pals would have dragged me out by my hair if there'd been any reason to think that I might do something I'd regret later on. You could have been raped. Next time don't let partying impair you to the extent that something like this happens again. You might not be so lucky."

    She never let it happen again.

  3. #13
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    Default Re: Finally: An Anti-Rape PSA that Puts the Onus on Men

    Quote Originally Posted by Dana Jean View Post
    What sort of drives me a bit nuts about these situations is, where are these girl's friends? Surely she came to this party with friends. Of course, there are one-on-one dates that are just between the daters, but these big party rapes, where are her friends?
    Not neccessarily. I went to parties a TON by myself when I was young and got very, very drunk. Like, black out drunk. Twice I was driven home by guys I didn't know who were extreme gentlemen and just took me home, thank god. I was incredibly lucky. One day I woke up and realized what a bad idea this was but that's what happens when you're raised with alcoholic parents who don't pay much attention to what you do. My parent's DRUG DEALERS' kids who I barely knew would take me to parties. So, it happens. Everyone needs to be responsible for their own actions, and Todash is 110% right - it doesn't make it your fault but it sure does make it harder to protect yourself.
    Last edited by Dana Jean; March 26th, 2013 at 09:02 PM. Reason: sorry, answered you in your own post. Will quote you.

  4. #14
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    Default Re: Finally: An Anti-Rape PSA that Puts the Onus on Men

    Quote Originally Posted by GNTLGNT View Post
    ...maybe I'm just ahead of my time or something, but I never felt rape was the womans fault-when attacked by a man...he's the aggressor, she the victim-REALLY don't understand people's ignorance of the crime....
    I have always felt, regardless of how a woman behaved or how much she drank, it is NEVER something 'she asked for', but plenty of people do not see that. So I applaud the video and th message. You have to realize there are a lot of ignorant people out there. It's high time things were said that need to be said.

  5. #15
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    Default Re: Finally: An Anti-Rape PSA that Puts the Onus on Men

    Quote Originally Posted by doowopgirl View Post
    I have always felt, regardless of how a woman behaved or how much she drank, it is NEVER something 'she asked for', but plenty of people do not see that. So I applaud the video and th message. You have to realize there are a lot of ignorant people out there. It's high time things were said that need to be said.
    Hi.

    There are a lot of ignorant people out there.

    Todd Akins that claimed " 'Legitimately Raped' Women Don't Get Pregnant"

    http://shine.yahoo.com/healthy-livin...BR_SQAjMohmolQ

    Joanna Lumley who stated " Bad Behavior Will Lead to rape"

    http://shine.yahoo.com/healthy-livin...BRPTMA69QhmolQ

    And the Business Insider PSA that inferred it was the female drinking too much for getting assaulted

    http://www.businessinsider.com/anti-...-victim-2013-3


    Peace.

  6. #16
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    Default Re: Finally: An Anti-Rape PSA that Puts the Onus on Men

    That video made me very uneasy even after it ended. Guess I'm jaded.

  7. #17
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    Default Re: Finally: An Anti-Rape PSA that Puts the Onus on Men

    Putting any shred of blame on the victim seems very ignorant to me. I understand the arguments suggesting careful behavior, but, under no circumstance should someone be made to feel responsible for something they couldn't avoid.

  8. #18
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    Default Re: Finally: An Anti-Rape PSA that Puts the Onus on Men

    Absolutely. Everyone is responsible for themselves. But, even though you may have gone to parties by yourself, I just expect someone to step up to protect you if you are black-out drunk. And it sounds like you got that help. But there are so many that don't. And there is always the guy who will take the drunk girl off someone's hands. "I'll take her home. I'll take care of her." In your case, you were safe, but so many don't make it home safe. I just want men and women to step up when things are going very very wrong and take a stand and say STOP.





    Quote Originally Posted by Shasta View Post
    Not neccessarily. I went to parties a TON by myself when I was young and got very, very drunk. Like, black out drunk. Twice I was driven home by guys I didn't know who were extreme gentlemen and just took me home, thank god. I was incredibly lucky. One day I woke up and realized what a bad idea this was but that's what happens when you're raised with alcoholic parents who don't pay much attention to what you do. My parent's DRUG DEALERS' kids who I barely knew would take me to parties. So, it happens. Everyone needs to be responsible for their own actions, and Todash is 110% right - it doesn't make it your fault but it sure does make it harder to protect yourself.
    "You've been here before, but things are about to change. I know it. I feel it. There's a storm on the way." -- Stephen King

  9. #19
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    Default Re: Finally: An Anti-Rape PSA that Puts the Onus on Men

    Quote Originally Posted by Sigmund View Post
    Todd Akins that claimed " 'Legitimately Raped' Women Don't Get Pregnant"
    I made this meme and rolled it out when this was said. I figured it would never get any play again. Thanks Siggy. This thread needed some levity anyway. I felt like smearing my lipstick and crying in the shower after reading it...

    Click image for larger version. 

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  10. #20
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    Default Re: Finally: An Anti-Rape PSA that Puts the Onus on Men

    i'm not usually a 'lock 'em up and throw away the key' type

    but i've always thought that there ought to be an exception for those who murder...or those who sexually assault anyone anytime...maybe most especially when the victims are kids

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