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Thread: Scathing Obituary

  1. #11
    Join Date
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    Default Re: Scathing Obituary

    Can't help thinking of 'Katherine' from Steinbeck's East Of Eden. What a wretched woman this person in the obituary was. Prayers to the children.

  2. #12
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    Default Re: Scathing Obituary

    Please God, don't anyone from my family ever surf through here...

    I didn't write an obituary, but when one of my Grandmas died earlier this year, I felt this way. My sister and I didn't go to the funeral. We said it was because we didn't have time and money, which was true, but also we just didn't know if we could act bereaved. I totally understood this family, because my sister actually said, "If they ask me to say a few words, mine are going to start with Ding Dong..."

    Now that I'm a grown up, I can understand that Grandma probably had a great deal of childhood baggage and damage. But, you know what? So do I (some of it courteous of said Grandma) and I have chosen not to be cruel, vicious and judgmental of everyone around me.

    She wasn't just an old lady busybody. I can deal with those. She's the sort of person who would tell you that she's going to take you to church, but she's not sure why because you're probably going to hell anyway. She's the kind of person who would tell a ten year old girl that her mother is a whore and if she doesn't watch out, she'll be a whore, too. (This was because my period had started already. I think she was phone buddies with Carrie's mom.) There is some dark abusive stuff that is not really my story to tell, but the splashback hit everyone and made it a house of secrets and lies. Those of you who've been through it know exactly what I mean. She was in the middle of all that, hiding it, yet stirring the pot, too.

    So, I didn't go, and I didn't really celebrate/mourn in any important way. I was just sort of relieved.

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
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    Kansas City
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    3,847

    Default Re: Scathing Obituary

    Quote Originally Posted by hipmamajen View Post
    So, I didn't go, and I didn't really celebrate/mourn in any important way. I was just sort of relieved.
    I think "don't speak ill of the dead" is a crock. Dying doesn't make anyone holy or special. It just makes them mortal.

    When my father died a few years ago, I hadn't spoken to him for two decades. (That in itself is something I regret although I'm 90% certain it wouldn't have made any difference. Still, I wish I would have tried.) I grieved, but not for him. I grieved because with his death, I knew that any chance of ever having a father-daughter relationship was gone. And also I grieved for his largely wasted life. But for him? No. I did not grieve for him.

  4. #14
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    Dec 2011
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    Default Re: Scathing Obituary

    Quote Originally Posted by Lepplady View Post
    Those apples didn't fall far from the tree, did they? If she was 74, that means they were grown children who printed that obituary. I think it speaks more to their character than it does to hers.
    Growing up doesn't make things hurt any less especially if you're robbed of a childhood. I don't blame them for what they did.

  5. #15
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    Default Re: Scathing Obituary

    I read that and I felt that it was wrong. Even if she was horrible I'm sure it was well known and there was no need to post such an obituary.

    Quote Originally Posted by not_nadine View Post
    I had always wondered when someone would do this.


    http://www.upi.com/blog/2013/09/12/S...4061379031519/
    Last edited by MadamMack; September 13th, 2013 at 06:52 PM.

  6. #16
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    Default Re: Scathing Obituary

    Exactly LeppLady. Makes me wonder how they treat their kids.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lepplady View Post
    Those apples didn't fall far from the tree, did they? If she was 74, that means they were grown children who printed that obituary. I think it speaks more to their character than it does to hers.

  7. #17
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    Nov 2011
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    Default Re: Scathing Obituary

    I don't know.

    It seems that everyone is praised in funerals. I have been to too many when all great things were said.
    But we knew them.

    Making me sad.

    My dad rarely spoke to me. But.. from what I know always praised me to others. In the Beer Garden. yay, remember that Dad will be home soon.. he stopped at the beer garden. I did not know what that meant. Is this an Irish term.

    I only remember speaking to him once or twice. One time on his knee when he showed me all off his WW2 and Korea book and pictures of him serving. I was about 7. Never spoke of it again.

    no question marks yet from me. erk. keyboard.

  8. #18
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    Default Re: Scathing Obituary

    True and a lot of lies are told in honor of death. I always chose to say nothing. And, by saying nothing speaks volumes.



    Quote Originally Posted by not_nadine View Post
    It seems that everyone is praised in funerals. I have been to too many when all great things were said.
    But we knew them.

  9. #19
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    Default Re: Scathing Obituary

    Quote Originally Posted by doowopgirl View Post
    I survived a mean abusive father. I fully believe that by( not forgetting or forgiving), letting go I win. If you hold on to that bitterness you become bitter and the bad guy wins. It's better, but not easier, to put it behind you and get on with your life. I cut off all contact with my father a long time ago, but I wouldn't go to the bother of that kind of an obituary. It won't change anything. I understand the poit they were trying to make, but for me living well is the best revenge.
    I hear ya. I think they are doing some good, though. Trying to shed a light and all that.

  10. #20
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    Default Re: Scathing Obituary

    If you could not speak before, then don't wait for a death to speak out....I feel that it isn't proper. The person is dead....I do not believe that we should speak ill of the dead if we couldn't find our tongues before this.

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