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Losing my religion

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Thread: Losing my religion

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
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    Kansas City
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    3,847

    Default Losing my religion

    I've heard it said, and I believe it, that the only things we as humans need to do are change and die. There is no such thing as stasis; we are changing every day. Sometimes less, sometimes more, but we do change. Our wants, our habits, our opinions, our beliefs. We can try to stave off the change, and we can try to pretend that we are not changing, but the truth will eventually out. And when we've been changing incrementally all along but were afraid for whatever reason to let that happen, what feels like a big sigh of admitting-the-truth relief to us can look overwhelmingly, insanely fast to observers.

    Lately, I've had a lot of pent up change rolling out of me, and one of the biggest is that I am questioning the religious beliefs I've held my entire life. Actually, let me rephrase that: I am questioning outwardly and openly things that have disturbed me for some time. I believed, or thought I did, because I was the good girl, then the good friend, then the good wife. Now I am just me.

    I don't know what answers I will figure out. Maybe I will decide I was right all along and that all my doubts can be explained away. I don't think so, but I'm open to it.

    I know there is no way to change the past and really no good reason to live in it, and it's not like I'm wallowing in regret, but if I could, I would tell my young adult self: "There is no reason these people are automatically more right than you are. The fact that they don't doubt doesn't mean there is no reason for doubt. Think. Use your head. BE BRAVE." But I can't. I did what I thought was the right thing at the time, and the best I can do going forward is correct those mistakes, try to create as much peace as possible, and respectfully help the people I love accept the real me.

    To growth!
    Last edited by Todash; October 25th, 2013 at 11:26 AM.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    NY
    Posts
    1,593

    Default Re: Losing my religion

    Best wishes to you on your voyage of self discovery.."the pathway to salvation is as narrow,and as difficult to walk,as the razor's edge.."

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Falmouth of the Mighty BlueGrass State and Commonwealth of Kentucky
    Posts
    5,859

    Default Re: Losing my religion

    Quote Originally Posted by Todash View Post

    I don't know what answers I will figure out.
    Good for you!...and ya know I can't possibly know what or even if you'll figure anything out, I ain't even hand grenade close to bein' sure if there's anything to be figured, but I'm pretty positive that plan's betterer than letting whatever it is you may or may not figure, figure you.
    (I say that 'cause at one time I had a bit of a problem of needing to know the answers to stuff, like ocd needy, no minor minute minutia unturned pert near drove me insane needy to know, but then somewhere down the pike I found I rather enjoyed the questions more than any satisfaction answers ever gave me, but then I don't think I actually came up with all too many o' those to begin with, come to think on it.....hmm, now I gotta wonder why that is?)

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    PA, USA
    Posts
    4,137

    Default Re: Losing my religion

    I hear you and thank you for your post, Todash. I see you changed your avatar. yup yup.

    Have a listen.




  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    dublin ireland
    Posts
    1,329

    Default Re: Losing my religion

    Quote Originally Posted by Todash View Post
    I've heard it said, and I believe it, that the only things we as humans need to do are change and die. There is no such thing as stasis; we are changing every day. Sometimes less, sometimes more, but we do change. Our wants, our habits, our opinions, our beliefs. We can try to stave off the change, and we can try to pretend that we are not changing, but the truth will eventually out. And when we've been changing incrementally all along but were afraid for whatever reason to let that happen, what feels like a big sigh of admitting-the-truth relief to us can look overwhelmingly, insanely fast to observers.

    Lately, I've had a lot of pent up change rolling out of me, and one of the biggest is that I am questioning the religious beliefs I've held my entire life. Actually, let me rephrase that: I am questioning outwardly and openly things that have disturbed me for some time. I believed, or thought I did, because I was the good girl, then the good friend, then the good wife. Now I am just me.

    I don't know what answers I will figure out. Maybe I will decide I was right all along and that all my doubts can be explained away. I don't think so, but I'm open to it.

    I know there is no way to change the past and really no good reason to live in it, and it's not like I'm wallowing in regret, but if I could, I would tell my young adult self: "There is no reason these people are automatically more right than you are. The fact that they don't doubt doesn't mean there is no reason for doubt. Think. Use your head. BE BRAVE." But I can't. I did what I thought was the right thing at the time, and the best I can do going forward is correct those mistakes, try to create as much peace as possible, and respectfully help the people I love accept the real me.

    To growth!
    I think you're terrific. You are fine as the real you. Love and accept the real you and others will, too.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Kansas City
    Posts
    3,847

    Default Re: Losing my religion

    Thanks, guys. This has rather upset the apple cart, so that makes it difficult, but I am working on it because it's important, and I'm not willing to be less than myself anymore.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Parked.
    Posts
    6,093

    Default Re: Losing my religion

    Good for you and I understand the ' losing your religion' part . . .I found my own beliefs years ago. I think you're pretty damn cool and I don't say what I don't mean . . .that's why I don't say much. Be true to yourself and the ones that are true to you will always be there.

    Did you change your avatar?

    Cleaning house all around . . . you go girl!

    Quote Originally Posted by Todash View Post
    Thanks, guys. This has rather upset the apple cart, so that makes it difficult, but I am working on it because it's important, and I'm not willing to be less than myself anymore.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    NY
    Posts
    1,593

    Default Re: Losing my religion

    Everyone needs to find their own path,and be their own person..whether it includes religion or not,or changes your belief systems,well,that can cheese some people off in your life..but if they love you they will accept your decisions.I know when I fell away,or stepped away,from the religion I was raised as,it was tough for those I care about..but I still adhere to many of the precepts,like being as good of a person as I can be,for my own need of being..again good luck to you Todash..

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    TN
    Posts
    995

    Default Re: Losing my religion

    I think we have to just keep exploring and thinking. Ive struggled with it so much I stopped typing the 'prayer for someone in need'. Oh I still hope for the best and send out positive thoughts (what else do I have??) but I no longer bless their hearts--and that was hard habit to break. I still feel for folks and will still cry for their plight, but I figure let God handle his own without my assistance-if there IS a God. I believe in a higher power/ entity...but Im still struggling. Good luck to you

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Falmouth of the Mighty BlueGrass State and Commonwealth of Kentucky
    Posts
    5,859

    Default Re: Losing my religion

    Quote Originally Posted by doowopgirl View Post
    I think you're terrific.
    She sure is isn't she?!?.....pssst, oh jeez don't tell nobody I said that, rumors I got a case of the warm & fuzzies might get around and that can't be good.

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