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Thread: Favourite Quotes and Quotations

  1. #1521
    Join Date
    May 2007
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    Glasgow, Scotland
    Posts
    14,129

    Default Re: Favourite Quotes and Quotations

    Hi,

    I got a great line (IMO) out of Terry Pratchett's book 'Jingo' last night that I'm just dyimg to use, probably in one of the political threads -

    'He'd be out of his depth on a wet pavement'

    Love it!

    Long days and pleasant nights

  2. #1522
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Atlanta GA
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    Default Re: Favourite Quotes and Quotations

    Federal Employee Performance Evaluations vol 1...

    "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig."

    "His men would follow him anywhere but only out of morbid curiosity."

    "This associate is really not so much a has-been, but more of a definitely won't be."

    "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."

    "When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change feet."

    "He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."

    "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."

    "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."

    "This employee should go far -- and the sooner he starts, the better we'll be."

    "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."

  3. #1523
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
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    The woods are lovely dark and deep
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    Default Re: Favourite Quotes and Quotations

    Quote Originally Posted by blunthead View Post
    Federal Employee Performance Evaluations vol 1...

    "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig."

    "His men would follow him anywhere but only out of morbid curiosity."

    "This associate is really not so much a has-been, but more of a definitely won't be."

    "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."

    "When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change feet."

    "He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."

    "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."

    "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."

    "This employee should go far -- and the sooner he starts, the better we'll be."

    "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."
    Ah yes, I worked with many of these and evaluated quite a few myself ...BUT on the whole I have to avow that the Federal employee is very hard working and conscientious.

  4. #1524
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    Aug 2006
    Location
    Atlanta GA
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    10,280

    Default Re: Favourite Quotes and Quotations

    These are actual lines from military performance appraisals.

    1. Got into the gene pool when the lifeguard wasn't watching.

    2. A room temperature IQ.

    3. Got a full sixpack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.

    4. A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.

    5. A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.

    6. Bright as Alaska in December.

    7. Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.

    8. He's so dense, light bends around him.

    9. If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.

    10. It's hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.

    11. Takes him 1-1/2 hours to watch 60 Minutes.

    12. Wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.

    13. A prime candidate for natural de-selection.

    14. If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate.

  5. #1525
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Oregon
    Posts
    1,151

    Default Re: Favourite Quotes and Quotations

    Quote Originally Posted by JohnDalglish View Post
    Hi,

    I got a great line (IMO) out of Terry Pratchett's book 'Jingo' last night that I'm just dyimg to use, probably in one of the political threads -

    'He'd be out of his depth on a wet pavement'

    Love it!

    Long days and pleasant nights
    I'll be waiting ...

  6. #1526
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    3,884

    Default Re: Favourite Quotes and Quotations

    Children are the world's most valuable resource and its best hope for the future.
    - John F. Kennedy

  7. #1527
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    May 2007
    Location
    Glasgow, Scotland
    Posts
    14,129

    Default Re: Favourite Quotes and Quotations

    Quote Originally Posted by GLewman View Post
    I'll be waiting ...
    Hi,

    But the waiting is the hardest part.

    Long days and pleasant nights

  8. #1528
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Scotland
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    Default Re: Favourite Quotes and Quotations

    I posted this in a different thread, but it reminded me of what a great quote it was, from one of my favourite films of all time (the actor's not too shabby either )

  9. #1529
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
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    Ohio
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    Default Re: Favourite Quotes and Quotations

    It is good taste, and good taste alone, that possesses the power to sterilize and is always the first handicap to any creative functioning.
    - Salvador Dali

  10. #1530
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    3,175

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