A sad world, a sad day, and a sad existence

[Garriga]

Can I vent? Okay good.

I am miserable. Free, but miserable. I'm turning 34 this year. I'm living with my parents, working in a restaurant, making $7.00 an hour. I'm lucky if I get 30 hours a week. My minimum student loan payment is...I won't go there. WTF. I'm thinking about giving MUW my degree back. Seriously. WTH am I going to do with a B.S in biology/chemistry. Unless Phil Bryant says "We forgive you Garriga." Then my degree is worthless. I want to give it back.

No, I'm not in Africa getting circumcised. But life still life sucks. I find comfort in alcohol. So, I drink. I am husbandless, childless ,with no career. Life is hopeless...

But at least I'm cute.

 

[Sigmund]

Can I vent? Okay good.

I am miserable. Free, but miserable. I'm turning 34 this year. I'm living with my parents, working in a restaurant, making $7.00 an hour. I'm lucky if I get 30 hours a week. My minimum student loan payment is...I won't go there. WTF. I'm thinking about giving MUW my degree back. Seriously. WTH am I going to do with a B.S in biology/chemistry. Unless Phil Bryant says "We forgive you Garriga." Then my degree is worthless. I want to give it back.

No, I'm not in Africa getting circumcised. But life still life sucks. I find comfort in alcohol. So, I drink. I am husbandless, childless ,with no career. Life is hopeless...

But at least I'm cute.

Oh, Sweetness, if you only knew.

I'm miserable yet, not free. This year I'm gonna be turning ....(yeah, turning). If I had the chance to go back again and live with my parents...

I have an M.S. and working as a substitute teacher.(Loads of fun. Not.) I will be paying off my student loans if I keep working for the next 75 years. Ha!

I know life can be difficult. Overwhelming. Take a breath. (Please. Don't drink. It just adds to the problem(s) and situation.)

Baby girl, I PROMISE, you keep on keeping on and you WILL get where you are meant to be.

If you wake up in the morning...life isn't hopeless.

Sending you a ton of prayers, well wishes, soothing vibes, green lights, love and

Peace.

 

[FlakeNoir]

Life is hard, so hard sometimes. I am learning that unless I can fix it myself, it will stay broken. Some days are better than others, some nights are so long...
Siggy is right though, if you wake up in the morning... you have hope, always hope. Do what you can Garriga, let those that love you help where they may... and for the rest--put your head down, shoulder to the grind and do what needs doing until you get there.

Have faith in yourself... you have worth, you are important... and sooner or later the right people are going to love you, forgive you your mistakes and reward your efforts. (((Garriga))) (((Siggy)))

 

[booklover72]

I agree FlakeNoir, life can sometimes be very hard. for example, i was brought up by my grandparents - when i was 11 months old she did the ultimate (suicide) my father went on a bender, i only know my grandparents never knew mum only through photographs. When ma(my grandmother) died i smoked 100 cigarettes, it was surreal. I have seen my fair share of death. Life can be beautiful sometimes - having a g/f/boyfriend know she cares about you, your baby been born, getting married. but it can be terribly cruel too i.e the boat that capsized. Sorry Garriga. Listen you are not worthless, YOU HAVE A DEGREE, i am 41 and childless and girlfriendless. give up the drink, it will add to your problems. hope for tomorrow. my grandfather used to say, "keep on till the end of the road", i think all these things that are put in front are to test us. i am sending good vibes to you and sooner then you think everything will come together Think positive, but give up the drink, it will add to your problems.

 

[Walter Oobleck]

I'm sorry you're down, Garriga. I've been down that road before, too many times, and it is never easy. I've got a degree as well, wanted to continue schooling and I did at LSU way back when but at the time too much had happened where I was unprepared in every way one should be prepared. At the time I thought maybe one day. Until then I always had a hammer and a nail apron to wear and I did do that and haven't taken it off. Had an old man tell me this once if digging a ditch makes you happy, Walter, dig it. I've learned to accept the hammer and it does make me happy. Wish I could offer you some practical advice about how to proceed but I'm at a loss...I'm sure you're aware of what steps you could take and that you're equally aware of how difficult any step is. We all know the economy isn't what we'd like it to be and jobs are scarce. I hope something begins to click for you.

 

[booklover72]

hi Garriga your e-mail is bothering me. first of all you need to develop your self esteem. take a look at your life - what you achieved i.e your degree, your hobbies and feel proud of them. secondly do a mindfulness/assertiveness/self development course. if it is too expensive get a book. Think about living at home. 11 years ago, there was 3 people in my house(my ma left the house to me,) now there is only me. appreciate what they are doing for you, do you like cooking, help your mum bond it will make you feel good, watch American football with your dad. go around to friends make a date to go to the movies or just hang out. 34 is young. you seem to have this idea it should all fit in at a certain age. i thought by the time i was 28 i be married, doesn't work. let fate intercede. change the way you think. say you are a very important person to you. laugh , it is the best medicine take up the guitar. is there a college you can go to there is reasonablly cheap, learn something new. like web design, programming or software testing. not only will you learn, you will meet people who could change your life. if it too dear take it up online. but drink is not that answer, i am not saying not to go out on a Saturday nite and have a few beers and some fun. remember it is testing time for everybody. but if you change the way you think, you will be happier and have more self esteem.

hope this helps.

 

[pegasus216]

Hugs can't fix the feelings you are having. I'm sending them anyway.

 

[HollyGolightly]

((((((Garriga))))))) Hang in there honey! I've my own litany of woes that makes me feel like my hair's on fire. But you just keep breathing, keep moving forward. If drinking's a problem, don't do it. Be true. Focus on the good things. Life is beautiful as well as difficult. And this crazy bunch on the SKMB will lift you up when you're low.

 

[Spideyman]

Garriga- there is a saying: Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at change. All the above have given excellent advice.
First, give up the drinking. That will only cloud you thoughts. Stay in the positive. You bring into your world what you manifest. Manifest positives. Yes, the economy sucks. Many are in the same position as you are- student loan debt, a degree in hand and no job available. Life isn't fair. When you wake, and that is a blessing, say thank you. A new day- a new door opens to you.
Volunteer- use your gifts and talents to help others. You might be surprised what rewards will follow.
Be thankful you have shelter- your parents home. A job, even if it isn't what you desire. Many have neither.
Don't think of life as a mold= you do not have to be married with children to be happy.
What is your passion? Can you hear music within you?
Is there a school, or organization that could use your learned talents in biology or chemistry? Volunteering often opens doors to opportunities.
Read, write, join a theater group. Just do not drink--- that is a bad road to follow.
Baby steps, one day at a tinme. If that is too much, one hour at a time.
Know we are here for you. I send love and green lights!

 

[HollyGolightly]

Excellent advice Spideyman . I forgot about volunteering. Yes, that helps. Changed my life about 15 years ago. Best thing I ever did, and loved it so much I still do it. It put things in perspective, Garriga. Give it a try - it's a good thing for you and those you serve.

 

[Grandpa]

I'm so sorry for your pain.

I'm not much of a hugger, and I don't have much comforting to say. What I have to offer is advice.

Sometimes this hike that we call life hits some tough roads. It's tougher for some than others. It's not a matter of fairness. It's a matter of situation.

The only way we get through it is to keep putting one foot in front of the other. Sometimes we don't want to. We just want to stop and play a game or stop and drink. That doesn't make it better or easier, except for the moment. It just distracts us from what we have to do anyway.

So just keep walking. And then add a smile, even if you don't feel like it. Most of the pain of the hike comes from our focus on how we're not enjoying it. If we can build our positive attitude, even if we have to lie to ourselves a little to get it started, it will help carry us through the tough patches. As the positive attitude builds, we find ourselves enjoying the scenery more, relating to our fellow hikers better, and they're more inclined to hang with us and help us as well. The pain ebbs, because we're more and more focused on the enjoyable parts.

If you were one of my kids, and you're actually in the right age group for it, I'd say, "Honey, you need to get out and have fun with people, and make sure they're nice people. You need to go to work with a smile, because it'll make your work performance better, impress the people around you more. Unless you're on a management path, you need to start looking for other work, because food service isn't cutting it for you. Even if being a UPS driver or stop sign holder on a construction crew isn't your idea of a career move, it'll pay better and be easier on the body. And you need to cut back on the alcohol, because it's putting you in the wrong frame of mind to address your problems, and you're a lovely girl, and you want to stay that way."

You're important to all your friends here, and you're important to the world. Please, do the things that will help you, not hide or hurt you. You're too important to us, to the world, to deprive us of your participation and potential.

 

[Haunted]

((((Garriga))))

 

[danie]

Garriga~I am thinking of you today.
Life is really just a series of problems we have to solve or not.
As unimportant as you feel, there is a person (or people) who thinks you are the most important.
Smile through the tears and be brave. One day (maybe soon, maybe not) you will look back and not even be able to remember how it felt to be you at 34.
You will be smiling for real then.

 

[not_nadine]

You have been through enough for your young years. I am aware of all of your posts.

I am husbandless, childless, and trying to live on my own. It is tough. And yes, I turned to the alcohol as well. That never turns out well. Believe me.

Life can suck hard. But you have to keep breathing and hoping for another day.

Things can change in a moment. You never know -

 

[mustangclaire]

(((Garriga))))

 

[mjs9153]

Don't know where you live,but I believe many states have loan forgiveness programs if you agree to teach or act as a teacher's assistant in certain schools..doesn't hurt to check with your student loan company to find if they have such a program,not sure what your degree is but you are probably close to getting enough credits to at least assist a teacher.Good luck and hang in there!They never said life would be easy,but ya gotta keep on keepin on..

 

[Bryan James]

Dear G, I know what you are going through. I was there once, and I have plummeted since into much deeper dark.

But yeah, you are cute. That only goes so far for me these days. You seem a tad smart, too. Bonus points.

Me? With my long hair and crazyman beard, I look like a reject from "Duck Dynasty."

I guarantee you that if this was a competition I would be winning in the Losing category.

Chin up, and try not to focus on bad stuff. Easier said than done, I know. Go somewhere new. High-five a stranger.

 

[Lina]

Can I vent? Okay good.

I am miserable. Free, but miserable. I'm turning 34 this year. I'm living with my parents, working in a restaurant, making $7.00 an hour. I'm lucky if I get 30 hours a week. My minimum student loan payment is...I won't go there. WTF. I'm thinking about giving MUW my degree back. Seriously. WTH am I going to do with a B.S in biology/chemistry. Unless Phil Bryant says "We forgive you Garriga." Then my degree is worthless. I want to give it back.

No, I'm not in Africa getting circumcised. But life still life sucks. I find comfort in alcohol. So, I drink. I am husbandless, childless ,with no career. Life is hopeless...

But at least I'm cute.

I think I know what you are going through... I am also living through a crisis right now. Also, still living with my parents, no private life, a lot of arguments with my mom... A work that I hate, always being under stress, geting paid very little and no opportunities of finding a job I woild love, as with my degree finding a permanent job in this sphere is next to impossible. Having a rather low self-esteem, I can't even say I am cute

Sorry, I had to complain to someone, too. That's really hard having so many problems, so I understand you! But I am sure things will be alright and in the end we will be happy, we just need not to give up! Please, be strong!

 

[booklover72]

Lina My advice to you is the same i gave to g.. do a self esteem course or book you are a lovely person. remember beauty comes from the heart not the facial features. The facial features will grow old, but what is in your heart will always remain true. get a hobby. and remember what bono from a band from the 'Northside' of Dublin says at the end of concerts: "don't let the b******* drag you down". meet life full on, i know it's hard, i have some problems myself(i will solve them myself.. one hopes) or as Billy Joel says "Don't take s*** from anyone. we are all friends here. so remember that. to be happy you must be happy being yourself, trusting yourself, believing in yourslef. don't hang out with people who put you down. if they do that they are not your friends. maybe theyre jealous of you, have you thought of that. you get one shot, live it to the full and know you can do whatever it is you want. Sorry for boring you. btw your englishis excellent, good enough to earn roubles is it, teaching english.

 

[Sundrop]

Can I vent? Okay good.

I am miserable. Free, but miserable. I'm turning 34 this year. I'm living with my parents, working in a restaurant, making $7.00 an hour. I'm lucky if I get 30 hours a week. My minimum student loan payment is...I won't go there. WTF. I'm thinking about giving MUW my degree back. Seriously. WTH am I going to do with a B.S in biology/chemistry. Unless Phil Bryant says "We forgive you Garriga." Then my degree is worthless. I want to give it back.

No, I'm not in Africa getting circumcised. But life still life sucks. I find comfort in alcohol. So, I drink. I am husbandless, childless ,with no career. Life is hopeless...

But at least I'm cute.

They say that misery loves company.....but I don't co-commiserate, and I don't do the "oh, poor pitiful you" thing.... We all have our problems and difficulties, and mine aren't any bigger or smaller or more important than anyone else's.
My personal belief is that if you put positive energy and thoughts into the universe, those positive qualities are returned to you....
likewise, negative begets negative.
I've taken the liberty to re-write your post, keeping it on a positive slant.....I hope you don't mind.
Just thought seeing a more positive side to venting might be helpful.


I am blessed. I'm Free. Yes, I may be living with situations that I haven't gotten control of....yet......but time is on my side....I'm turning 34 this year, and I have so much life ahead of me to enjoy. Right now, I'm living with my parents, and when they are no longer with me, I will look back at the extra time we had together and smile.
I am working in a restaurant at the moment....I feel so lucky to have a job when so many have no work. Something better will come along, and I have hopes to find work pertaining to my hard earned degree in biology/chemistry.
An education is a valuable asset, and no one can ever take that away from me.

I'm not in Africa getting circumcised, and even though times are difficult, life is wonderful!
I am strong, and independent, and have no need to depend on alcohol or chemicals for comfort.
I have no husband or children, so I am flexible re-locate when the right craeer comes along. I have hopes for a bright future with a family of my own.

Sure, I am cute....but more importantly, I am a well educated, smart young woman....I will survive