Assumptions

[misery chastain loves co.]

We all make them, don't lie.
The biggest assumption people make about me is that they think I am gay. Not because of looks(at least I hope not!lol)meaning that I don't have the stereotypical "look" of a butch woman. Apparently when you are "of a certain age," have no children, and have never been married, people wonder. I can't say as I blame 'em but it simply 'aint true. The fact that I never wanted kids and really am happy as a single person boggles the mind. I had a patient ask me once if I had kids and when I replied that I did not she actually apologized to me. I told her she has nothing to be sorry about and that it was purely by choice. She was utterly baffled at the thought. I started a new job a couple of years ago and after a few months and becoming friends with my co workers one of them admitted to me that when I first started she thought I was gay. I had to laugh and asked her why and she said because you're not married and don't have any kids and my reply to her was "and?" She had no response. She also knew my dating history by this time and definitely knew better! Luckily it doesn't happen too often but when it does I just chuckle and smile. Make 'em sweat a bit!
Side note: I couldn't care less if someone is gay, doesn't bother me a bit.
Another example of this is a friend of mine. He is a total horror nerd with a big shaggy red beard and a ton of horror tattoos. People see him walking down the street they practically run the other way thinking he is an ex con or drug addict. He is one of the nicest guys I know and doesn't drink or do drugs at all. Assumptions!
Long winded but you get the idea.
Anyone else make or have anything like this?

 

[fljoe0]

We all make them, don't lie.
The biggest assumption people make about me is that they think I am gay. Not because of looks(at least I hope not!lol)meaning that I don't have the stereotypical "look" of a butch woman. Apparently when you are "of a certain age," have no children, and have never been married, people wonder. I can't say as I blame 'em but it simply 'aint true. The fact that I never wanted kids and really am happy as a single person boggles the mind. I had a patient ask me once if I had kids and when I replied that I did not she actually apologized to me. I told her she has nothing to be sorry about and that it was purely by choice. She was utterly baffled at the thought. I started a new job a couple of years ago and after a few months and becoming friends with my co workers one of them admitted to me that when I first started she thought I was gay. I had to laugh and asked her why and she said because you're not married and don't have any kids and my reply to her was "and?" She had no response. She also knew my dating history by this time and definitely knew better! Luckily it doesn't happen too often but when it does I just chuckle and smile. Make 'em sweat a bit!
Side note: I couldn't care less if someone is gay, doesn't bother me a bit.
Another example of this is a friend of mine. He is a total horror nerd with a big shaggy red beard and a ton of horror tattoos. People see him walking down the street they practically run the other way thinking he is an ex con or drug addict. He is one of the nicest guys I know and doesn't drink or do drugs at all. Assumptions!
Long winded but you get the idea.
Anyone else make or have anything like this?

I'm always amazed at how many people are horribly miserable being married but think that there is something wrong with someone that's not married.

 

[misery chastain loves co.]

I'm always amazed at how many people are horribly miserable being married but think that there is something wrong with someone that's not married.

So very true! There are some wonderful marriages out there and some not so wonderful ones. I am not against it, it's just not for me right now. Never say never but I'm still too selfish to share my life with anyone.

 

[Grandpa]

Whatever "good-looking" means, I'm not it. I've been told before that when people first saw me, they thought I was a mean SOB.

I try not to make assumptions about people, because it's my view that assumptions are the first beckoning to bigotry. However, if I see someone with a face tattoo, I'm usually assuming they're not a lawyer or CPA or doctor or something like that. I'm not saying it's can't-miss assumption, but it plays the odds.

 

[staropeace]

I am Canadian and I get a kick out of other countries thinking we are all mellow....the "turn the other cheek" philosophy being the rule. Someone needs to remind the Comm of the Royal Canadian Airforce of this assumption. This is one pissed off guy.
Canada's Iraq Mission: Air Force Commander Hints Revenge At Play

 

[ghost19]

So very true! There are some wonderful marriages out there and some not so wonderful ones. I am not against it, it's just not for me right now. Never say never but I'm still too selfish to share my life with anyone.

You're absolutely right to wait ma'am. Make sure you're ready before committing to spending the rest of your life with someone. It can be a wonderful thing but only if both parties are ready to compromise, sometimes on a daily basis...lol

 

[FlakeNoir]

So very true! There are some wonderful marriages out there and some not so wonderful ones. I am not against it, it's just not for me right now. Never say never but I'm still too selfish to share my life with anyone.

You're absolutely right to wait ma'am. Make sure you're ready before committing to spending the rest of your life with someone. It can be a wonderful thing but only if both parties are ready to compromise, sometimes on a daily basis...lol

Yar... never 'settle'... take your time, be sure.

 

[Lily Sawyer]

I'm always amazed at how many people are horribly miserable being married but think that there is something wrong with someone that's not married.

I believe Bridget Jones calls these people "the Smug Marrieds".

Yep, I get the same assumptions made about me. I haven't married or had kids, but the worst assumption (I think) is that parents assume I have no parenting instincts or that my opinion about kids somehow carries less weight because I haven't had them. No, I haven't parented, but neither did they until they had kids. Dumb move to assume I know absolutely zero about kids.

 

[Spideyman]

 

[BeverleyMarsh]

We all make them, don't lie.
The biggest assumption people make about me is that they think I am gay. Not because of looks(at least I hope not!lol)meaning that I don't have the stereotypical "look" of a butch woman. Apparently when you are "of a certain age," have no children, and have never been married, people wonder. I can't say as I blame 'em but it simply 'aint true. The fact that I never wanted kids and really am happy as a single person boggles the mind. I had a patient ask me once if I had kids and when I replied that I did not she actually apologized to me. I told her she has nothing to be sorry about and that it was purely by choice. She was utterly baffled at the thought. I started a new job a couple of years ago and after a few months and becoming friends with my co workers one of them admitted to me that when I first started she thought I was gay. I had to laugh and asked her why and she said because you're not married and don't have any kids and my reply to her was "and?" She had no response. She also knew my dating history by this time and definitely knew better! Luckily it doesn't happen too often but when it does I just chuckle and smile. Make 'em sweat a bit!
Side note: I couldn't care less if someone is gay, doesn't bother me a bit.
Another example of this is a friend of mine. He is a total horror nerd with a big shaggy red beard and a ton of horror tattoos. People see him walking down the street they practically run the other way thinking he is an ex con or drug addict. He is one of the nicest guys I know and doesn't drink or do drugs at all. Assumptions!
Long winded but you get the idea.
Anyone else make or have anything like this?

I can so relate. People assume too that my life must be sad as I never married nor had kids. I do wish things were different for sure but I try to make the best out of what I have and try not to focus on what I don't have. But it's people like this woman who actually apologised to you when realising you had no children that get me down. I do get the "oh I'm sorry" looks myself and they're the ones that get to me.

 

[Kurben]

When i tell People that i used to live in Stockholm, close to the center of the city, and voluntarily moved out to a suburb because i didn't like it and that i actually do like it here where it is close to nature, it smells better and you can take walks without bothering about red lights and such they are unbelieving. Doesn't everybody want to live in Stockholm and be close to everything? Not me, I'm satisfied if i can take a 45 minute subwayride if i need something in Stockholm. But people often assume that no one wants to live that far from Stockholm. I'm sure people make other assumptions too about me but i don't know which ones.
(i must say that i have never cared much what others thought about me. As long as my friends like me... Am not sure if that is a good or bad character trait)

 

[kingricefan]

When i tell People that i used to live in Stockholm, close to the center of the city, and voluntarily moved out to a suburb because i didn't like it and that i actually do like it here where it is close to nature, it smells better and you can take walks without bothering about red lights and such they are unbelieving. Doesn't everybody want to live in Stockholm and be close to everything? Not me, I'm satisfied if i can take a 45 minute subwayride if i need something in Stockholm. But people often assume that no one wants to live that far from Stockholm. I'm sure people make other assumptions too about me but i don't know which ones.

I agree with you Kurben. I would rather live outside of a city, but no more than an hour of travel time. I don't like being around crowds of people anymore, but I do like to be able to drive to 'town' and get what I need without it being an ordeal. Right now I live 5 minutes from the city of Spokane but it feels like an hour away as it is so quiet and peaceful where I am at. That will probably change in the next ten years as they're already building houses and a couple of stores close to me, so I will just have to get up and move somewhere else in time.

 

[Kurben]

I agree with you Kurben. I would rather live outside of a city, but no more than an hour of travel time. I don't like being around crowds of people anymore, but I do like to be able to drive to 'town' and get what I need without it being an ordeal. Right now I live 5 minutes from the city of Spokane but it feels like an hour away as it is so quiet and peaceful where I am at. That will probably change in the next ten years as they're already building houses and a couple of stores close to me, so I will just have to get up and move somewhere else in time.

The thing that i miss most with the place that i live is not stores. There is a little center with groceries, hairdresser, bank, clothes and so on. But what i miss is a bookstore. For that i must take the subway to the city. Catastrophy!!!

 

[kingricefan]

The thing that i miss most with the place that i live is not stores. There is a little center with groceries, hairdresser, bank, clothes and so on. But what i miss is a bookstore. For that i must take the subway to the city. Catastrophy!!!

There's always Ebay and Amazon, right?

 

[Kurben]

There's always Ebay and Amazon, right?

Yeah but is something with holding a book in the hand, reading the back to see if it is interesting, debating in your mind if you should buy it or not, that you just miss out on with the internet.

 

[not_nadine]

My last job. When filling out paperwork in regards to insurance and all that..
The HR person asked about dependents. I said no, none.

You don't have children? No, I don't. What? You have no one?
No, I say.. Then I felt like I had to make someone up.

She was absolutely baffled and horrified.

Sorry lady, but thanks for making me feel bad about it.

 

[staropeace]

I prefer having a few million people around me. City living is great.

 

[Kurben]

I prefer having a few million people around me. City living is great.

And i would be totally freaked out. Isn't it great that people are different? I have sometimes felt the urge to visit Rome or Athens just to sightsee a little, Acropolis, Colosseum... But i have always shied away. To many people. When i've been to the States i have avoided the cities. Visited Denver once to visit some museums and eat a hamburger and sink a couple of beers but didn't stay overnight. Also visited Las Vegas. It happened to be between the Grand Canyon and the Nevada desert and Area 51 (there was a charming pubplace in the middle of the desert, Old Ale In, pronounced as Old Alien whose owners believed with every fiber of their being that were Alien improsoned behind the mountains at the base. Charming people and they could fix a great burger. But i found Las Vegas to be the height of Anti-culture with the crowds and the casinos. But i can proudly say that i lost 50 dollars at the roulette. My evaluation of Vegas might just be an assumption of mine nut it didn't impress, except in a negative way.

 

[staropeace]

And i would be totally freaked out. Isn't it great that people are different? I have sometimes felt the urge to visit Rome or Athens just to sightsee a little, Acropolis, Colosseum... But i have always shied away. To many people. When i've been to the States i have avoided the cities. Visited Denver once to visit some museums and eat a hamburger and sink a couple of beers but didn't stay overnight. Also visited Las Vegas. It happened to be between the Grand Canyon and the Nevada desert and Area 51 (there was a charming pubplace in the middle of the desert, Old Ale In, pronounced as Old Alien whose owners believed with every fiber of their being that were Alien improsoned behind the mountains at the base. Charming people and they could fix a great burger. But i found Las Vegas to be the height of Anti-culture with the crowds and the casinos. But i can proudly say that i lost 50 dollars at the roulette. My evaluation of Vegas might just be an assumption of mine nut it didn't impress, except in a negative way.

Kurben, I grew up in a very small place. I had enough of the gossip and stuff. I am glad you enjoyed the States. Canada is a very beautiful place as well.

 

[Kurben]

Kurben, I grew up in a very small place. I had enough of the gossip and stuff. I am glad you enjoyed the States. Canada is a very beautiful place as well.

Wasn't meant as critique. I know. It is on the list of places to go to. Gossip is horrible IMO.