Assumptions

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kingricefan

All-being, keeper of Space, Time & Dimension.
Jul 11, 2006
30,011
127,446
Spokane, WA
Kurben, I grew up in a very small place. I had enough of the gossip and stuff. I am glad you enjoyed the States. Canada is a very beautiful place as well.
I, too, grew up in a very small town in western Pennsylvania. We even had our very own 'Mabel Werts' (or Wurts, the busy-body from 'Salem's Lot), ours was named Mrs. Love. With a name like that you'd think it would be all gingerbread cookies and soda pops for the neighborhood kids, right? Wrong! She was not a nice person.
 

Dana Jean

Dirty Pirate Hooker, The Return
Moderator
Apr 11, 2006
53,634
236,697
The High Seas
I, too, grew up in a very small town in western Pennsylvania. We even had our very own 'Mabel Werts' (or Wurts, the busy-body from 'Salem's Lot), ours was named Mrs. Love. With a name like that you'd think it would be all gingerbread cookies and soda pops for the neighborhood kids, right? Wrong! She was not a nice person.
I have who I call my Gladys Kravitz in my neighborhood. On one hand, she does keep a watch on things, on the other, she is a malicious gossip.
 

Mr Nobody

Well-Known Member
Jul 9, 2008
3,306
9,050
Walsall, England
My gf is 6'1". She's not the 'dressy-up' type (or, as she says, "Not one for wandering around like a tart/with my t*ts on display") and doesn't do 'bling' or make-up, though it's still perfectly obvious that she's female.
The number of times people have addressed her as 'Mate' is pretty staggering. It's as if they get the impression of height and their brains short-circuit.

I've had people assume I'm gay once or twice. When I've put them right and asked why they thought it, the response has been 'Don't know', followed by a moment of thought and an addition like 'Because you're quiet' or 'Because you read' or 'Because you're a bit of a loner' (which is an understatement; calling me a 'bit of a loner' is like saying a tiger is 'a bit fierce').
Now that kind of thinking short-circuits my brain. Male + quiet and/or a reader and/or a loner = gay? What kind of logic is that?
(On the other side of the coin, when I've mentioned those assumptions to a couple of mates who are gay (and who definitely aren't quiet, or loners, and one of whom would rather die than be seen with a book), their response has been along the lines of 'You? WTF were they on?')
People are also often surprised by a certain element of my background. The response, upon hearing, is usually 'You? **** off, lying ****!'...which is, of course, precisely what people are supposed to think. Most of the guys I knew back in the day looked like anything but what they were (and in some few cases, still are).
 

Kurben

The Fool on the Hill
Apr 12, 2014
9,682
65,192
59
sweden
My gf is 6'1". She's not the 'dressy-up' type (or, as she says, "Not one for wandering around like a tart/with my t*ts on display") and doesn't do 'bling' or make-up, though it's still perfectly obvious that she's female.
The number of times people have addressed her as 'Mate' is pretty staggering. It's as if they get the impression of height and their brains short-circuit.

I've had people assume I'm gay once or twice. When I've put them right and asked why they thought it, the response has been 'Don't know', followed by a moment of thought and an addition like 'Because you're quiet' or 'Because you read' or 'Because you're a bit of a loner' (which is an understatement; calling me a 'bit of a loner' is like saying a tiger is 'a bit fierce').
Now that kind of thinking short-circuits my brain. Male + quiet and/or a reader and/or a loner = gay? What kind of logic is that?
(On the other side of the coin, when I've mentioned those assumptions to a couple of mates who are gay (and who definitely aren't quiet, or loners, and one of whom would rather die than be seen with a book), their response has been along the lines of 'You? WTF were they on?')
People are also often surprised by a certain element of my background. The response, upon hearing, is usually 'You? **** off, lying ****!'...which is, of course, precisely what people are supposed to think. Most of the guys I knew back in the day looked like anything but what they were (and in some few cases, still are).
This makes me wonder if people think i'm gay because i read, are rather quiet and a bit of a loner. Not that it would bother me. My friends know of course that i'm not but i'm rather selective in picking friends so have a few close ones and a lot of people i know but who aren't really friends. Your comment made me think about how others see me. (a thing i seldom consider).
 

GNTLGNT

The idiot is IN
Jun 15, 2007
87,651
358,754
62
Cambridge, Ohio
...I have the rep as being one mean bastard by those who don't know me....guess it has to do with my height and weight(mutant and massive), combined with what I feel is a serious look on my face, but others think I'm about to rip their rectum out through their throat...sure, I'm grouchy on a good day-but I'm not mean or nasty on purpose to anyone I know or love.....has it happened? Hell yeah, I'm just as dumb as any other knuckle dragger-but don't assume I'm perpetually pissed off, until you've seen me that way...
 

GNTLGNT

The idiot is IN
Jun 15, 2007
87,651
358,754
62
Cambridge, Ohio
People are always assuming I'm somebody rich and famous. What with the good looks, driving a Lamborghini, living in a mansion and having a super model wife, well, it's just something you have to deal with.
bs_meter.jpg
 

skimom2

Just moseyin' through...
Oct 9, 2013
15,683
92,168
USA
I can so relate. People assume too that my life must be sad as I never married nor had kids. I do wish things were different for sure but I try to make the best out of what I have and try not to focus on what I don't have. But it's people like this woman who actually apologised to you when realising you had no children that get me down. I do get the "oh I'm sorry" looks myself and they're the ones that get to me.
It's silly, isn't it? I have several friends in their late 30s to mid 40s that aren't married, no kids, not really a lot of regrets, and many people treat them as if they are to be pitied. Ridiculous. All are clever, funny, wonderful women who have chosen to stay single. I have to say, I totally get it. I love my husband, love my family, but I like myself, too. If I'd not met The Man, I'd be perfectly happy on my own.
 

BeverleyMarsh

Well-Known Member
Jul 23, 2010
862
5,374
The Twilight Zone
It's silly, isn't it? I have several friends in their late 30s to mid 40s that aren't married, no kids, not really a lot of regrets, and many people treat them as if they are to be pitied. Ridiculous. All are clever, funny, wonderful women who have chosen to stay single. I have to say, I totally get it. I love my husband, love my family, but I like myself, too. If I'd not met The Man, I'd be perfectly happy on my own.
Bless your heart, Skimom :biglove:
 

Lily Sawyer

B-ReadAndWed
Jun 27, 2009
6,625
15,016
South Carolina
If I'd not met The Man, I'd be perfectly happy on my own.

That's how I am. Couldn't have said it better myself.
Bless your heart, Skimom :biglove:

Come sit by me, not because there's safety in numbers, and not to disparage men or marrieds. Come sit by me because we're the Go-To Single Sallies when the going gets tough for the Marrieds. We can babysit, help execute surprise parties for the spouses, get someone to the ER if necessary, and bring a shovel and bodybag, no questions asked.
 

BeverleyMarsh

Well-Known Member
Jul 23, 2010
862
5,374
The Twilight Zone
That's how I am. Couldn't have said it better myself.


Come sit by me, not because there's safety in numbers, and not to disparage men or marrieds. Come sit by me because we're the Go-To Single Sallies when the going gets tough for the Marrieds. We can babysit, help execute surprise parties for the spouses, get someone to the ER if necessary, and bring a shovel and bodybag, no questions asked.
How very true and well said Lily :)
 

Mr Nobody

Well-Known Member
Jul 9, 2008
3,306
9,050
Walsall, England
Kurben: I think a lot of it depends on your culture. In the UK (or most of it, particularly in the Midlands and the North), the assumption would likely be that you were gay, particularly if you were also from the traditional working class (as I am). At the very least, people would say there was something not quite right about you.
I have no idea where those ideas sprang from though, when you consider that 'self-improvement' through reading and quiet study was fairly common among working class men even up to the 1960s.