Beating Alcohol...

[Srbo]

I don`t think I`m an alcoholic.
I never-ever drank a beer or had a glass of wine with lunch in my whole life. I don`t really like the taste of alcohol, any alcohol, I just like to be drunk once in a while.
I actually don`t drink at all - unless I wan`t to get hammered out of my mind. Like as drunk as it gets.
Or nothing. I have a few beers right now in my fridge, but that doesn`t bug me at all, it`s just 3-4, so not enough to get drunk, hence, I`m not interested.
And I can go for days and days without drinking.
I decided to try to not get drunk at all during this year.
But sometimes, like today, I wanted to. I really wanted to drink, write, listen to music, drink and write some more until it becomes gibberish.
It was a really, really strong urge.
So, instead of doing my usual 80-90 minutes on the elliptical, I did two hours, one 3 minute break to drink some water.
And I did push-and sit ups after that until I could do them no more.
I exercised so much that my whole body hurts right now, and tomorrow it`s gonna be worse.
But that doesn`t matter.
I didn`t drink.
If anything makes me really happy in life, then it`s to beat myself, to be stronger than whatever tricks my mind and body play on me.
So here I am, sober, tired and happy that I didn`t give in.
Time to finish off that Koontz novel, Ashley Bell. Good story, curious how it ends.
I`m not one to pat myself on the shoulder ( well, not too often ) but tonight...
I won.

What do you do if you have a struggle like this sometimes, when you get the urge?

 

[skimom2]

Proud of you SRBO. If you can't drink unless you're drinking to excess, that's a pretty good sign of a drinking problem. Hard to beat those, but it sounds like you're getting a good, healthy hold on it. My sincere best wishes to you.

 

[Blake]

I'm not as bad as my old man, but sometimes I don't no when to stop. I think it is partly genetic. I think it is a mistake to have alcohol in the house if you drink too much. Drinking, for me, is as much an emotional crutch as it is a physical urge. I was told that people who drink(beer) have a vitamin B deficiency and it's a cycle because you get drunk which flushes out all the vitamins because you have to urinate more often and then the next day you want to replace the lost vitamins again by drinking again. For me, it's more emotional. My father could drink two bottles of scotch and twenty beers but he would be a pain in the...any type of drug is bad if you use it to excess. I think if you want to try not to drink too much any one should get a hobby, also drink alot of water an hour before you start getting the craving, eat a big meal an hour before you start getting the cravings.

 

[Srbo]

Proud of you SRBO. If you can't drink unless you're drinking to excess, that's a pretty good sign of a drinking problem. Hard to beat those, but it sounds like you're getting a good, healthy hold on it. My sincere best wishes to you.

Thank you.
It`s not that I can`t drink, I don`t wanna drink unless I can get plastered.
Like I said, I don`t like the taste of alcohol, I don`t even like the whole process of drinking.
I just like to be drunk once in a while.
I used to drink A LOT more right after the war finished in my old country and I came alone here to Canada.
I don`t even like to remember those days.
Thankfully, I found my wife, a good person who loves me and who surely saved my life.
But yes, it`s still hard to beat the urge when it`s there, I had to "die" today from exercising, but I didn`t drink.

Hope all is well with you and yours.

 

[Blake]

Thank you.
It`s not that I can`t drink, I don`t wanna drink unless I can get plastered.
Like I said, I don`t like the taste of alcohol, I don`t even like the whole process of drinking.
I just like to be drunk once in a while.
I used to drink A LOT more right after the war finished in my old country and I came alone here to Canada.
I don`t even like to remember those days.
Thankfully, I found my wife, a good person who loves me and who surely saved my life.
But yes, it`s still hard to beat the urge when it`s there, I had to "die" today from exercising, but I didn`t drink.

Hope all is well with you and yours.

It sounds like you might suffer from PTSD. Maybe some counselling would help as well. It's not a good idea to get 'plastered' because 50% of all bad accidents involving cars involve drunk people stepping out in front of them. All bad things that have happened to me that could have been much worse have been because I've been drunk.

 

[GNTLGNT]

...yes, you do have a problem my brother-but from the sound of it-you're exercising the demon....pun intended....transitory happiness is no substitute for what you already have...

 

[kingricefan]

Good for you, SRBO! Tomorrow will be even easier to resist the urge. As Mr. Cranky said above- you are suffering from PTSD. Perhaps seek out help from a professional to help you deal with that. You've alluded to things that happened to you in war time and how deeply it affected you but I think you need to talk to someone to face the 'demons' like Scott said. My best to you. Give that lovely wife and daughter a big hug from me!! You need look no further than those two to give you the strength. They love you muchly!

 

[Neesy]

I don`t think I`m an alcoholic.
I never-ever drank a beer or had a glass of wine with lunch in my whole life. I don`t really like the taste of alcohol, any alcohol, I just like to be drunk once in a while.
I actually don`t drink at all - unless I wan`t to get hammered out of my mind. Like as drunk as it gets.
Or nothing. I have a few beers right now in my fridge, but that doesn`t bug me at all, it`s just 3-4, so not enough to get drunk, hence, I`m not interested.
And I can go for days and days without drinking.
I decided to try to not get drunk at all during this year.
But sometimes, like today, I wanted to. I really wanted to drink, write, listen to music, drink and write some more until it becomes gibberish.
It was a really, really strong urge.
So, instead of doing my usual 80-90 minutes on the elliptical, I did two hours, one 3 minute break to drink some water.
And I did push-and sit ups after that until I could do them no more.
I exercised so much that my whole body hurts right now, and tomorrow it`s gonna be worse.
But that doesn`t matter.
I didn`t drink.
If anything makes me really happy in life, then it`s to beat myself, to be stronger than whatever tricks my mind and body play on me.
So here I am, sober, tired and happy that I didn`t give in.
Time to finish off that Koontz novel, Ashley Bell. Good story, curious how it ends.
I`m not one to pat myself on the shoulder ( well, not too often ) but tonight...
I won.

What do you do if you have a struggle like this sometimes, when you get the urge?

"What do you do if you have a struggle like this sometimes, when you get the urge?"

I do not have this urge

However (and I hope this is not TMI) my spouse does.

When I married him 11 years ago he had been drinking and smoking since he was 15 years old (he joined the British army quite young).

Now when he comes back home from up North in Nunavut he is okay at first but very gradually he starts going back to the Legion at the end of our street.

The night before he was due to fly back up to Baker Lake his (drunk) friend came to the house. Andy of course walked with him to the Legion and this was about 8 p.m.

I went to bed at my usual hour as I knew we had to be up very early the next day at 4 a.m.

Andy drank from 8 to 12 p.m., came home, had a bath and went to bed at 1 a.m.

I am pretty sure when he awoke three hours later he was still inebriated. He was so clueless at that point he even grabbed my cell phone on his way out of the house while I was talking to the taxi driver outside.

It cost him 25 bucks to have my cell phone delivered back home to me.

It gets frustrating at times but since I know he's only home for about four weeks and then will go back to a community where they cannot drink (you need to get a license from the RCMP to buy booze as it is mostly Inuit up there) then I feel better, knowing that he is not slowly killing himself with excess alcohol.

Wow - now that I have written all that I am hesitant to push "post reply" but - well - you guys here have helped me in the past, especially when I first joined this board.

I am not looking for sympathy - just someone to tell, to get this off my mind.

He is a good man - a hard worker and he loves me. I just think he has one of those "addictive personalities"

Sorry to ramble on Srbo - you just hit a sensitive spot in my heart

Thanks for listening

 

[Srbo]

Well, yes.
I do suffer from PTSD, but that is one illness I don`t fully understand, no matter how many times it`s being explained to me or I read about it.
Yes, the war was a terrible thing and I can`t and probably won`t forget it ever, but...I don`t even know how to say this...for instance, a very good friend of yours dies, your heart and soul breaks...do you have PTSD then, too? I mean, it was a traumatic experience.
Or after a divorce, or catching your partner cheating on you...are those grounds for PTDS, too?
Mysterious illness for me, it seems to me like 80 % of the worlds population must have it then.
Alcoholism is an illness, that I do understand...but it`s one you can beat.
It probably takes your whole life, it`s a battle forever, even SK, today, after 40 years or so of sobriety, thinks about alcohol once in a while.
But, OK.
If the definition of being a drunk is the one you guys said it is- not being able to drink without getting drunk...then yes, I shall accept that.

Thank you Neesy for sharing your story, very moving. I hope it will work out for the best for the both of you.

 

[GNTLGNT]

Well, yes.
I do suffer from PTSD, but that is one illness I don`t fully understand, no matter how many times it`s being explained to me or I read about it.
Yes, the war was a terrible thing and I can`t and probably won`t forget it ever, but...I don`t even know how to say this...for instance, a very good friend of yours dies, your heart and soul breaks...do you have PTSD then, too? I mean, it was a traumatic experience.
Or after a divorce, or catching your partner cheating on you...are those grounds for PTDS, too?
Mysterious illness for me, it seems to me like 80 % of the worlds population must have it then.
Alcoholism is an illness, that I do understand...but it`s one you can beat.
It probably takes your whole life, it`s a battle forever, even SK, today, after 40 years or so of sobriety, thinks about alcohol once in a while.
But, OK.
If the definition of being a drunk is the one you guys said it is- not being able to drink without getting drunk...then yes, I shall accept that.

Thank you Neesy for sharing your story, very moving. I hope it will work out for the best for the both of you.

...you have good insight bro.....the battle is continuous, but doesn't have to be a losing one......

 

[GNTLGNT]

"What do you do if you have a struggle like this sometimes, when you get the urge?"

I do not have this urge

However (and I hope this is not TMI) my spouse does.

When I married him 11 years ago he had been drinking and smoking since he was 15 years old (he joined the British army quite young).

Now when he comes back home from up North in Nunavut he is okay at first but very gradually he starts going back to the Legion at the end of our street.

The night before he was due to fly back up to Baker Lake his (drunk) friend came to the house. Andy of course walked with him to the Legion and this was about 8 p.m.

I went to bed at my usual hour as I knew we had to be up very early the next day at 4 a.m.

Andy drank from 8 to 12 p.m., came home, had a bath and went to bed at 1 a.m.

I am pretty sure when he awoke three hours later he was still inebriated. He was so clueless at that point he even grabbed my cell phone on his way out of the house while I was talking to the taxi driver outside.

It cost him 25 bucks to have my cell phone delivered back home to me.

It gets frustrating at times but since I know he's only home for about four weeks and then will go back to a community where they cannot drink (you need to get a license from the RCMP to buy booze as it is mostly Inuit up there) then I feel better, knowing that he is not slowly killing himself with excess alcohol.

Wow - now that I have written all that I am hesitant to push "post reply" but - well - you guys here have helped me in the past, especially when I first joined this board.

I am not looking for sympathy - just someone to tell, to get this off my mind.

He is a good man - a hard worker and he loves me. I just think he has one of those "addictive personalities"

Sorry to ramble on Srbo - you just hit a sensitive spot in my heart

Thanks for listening

.....he's a functioning alcoholic Neesy......as long as you accept his weaknesses, without supporting them, then you can manage....11 years together shows that, but you need to tell him how his actions makes you feel-never make excuses for him.....

 

[Moderator]

Congratulations on coming up with a strategy and following through to not drink. I rarely drink alcohol and can't say that I have any other addictive behaviors so can't give any advice other than that there's a good reason why AA's motto is one day at a time.

 

[Neesy]

Well, yes.
I do suffer from PTSD, but that is one illness I don`t fully understand, no matter how many times it`s being explained to me or I read about it.
Yes, the war was a terrible thing and I can`t and probably won`t forget it ever, but...I don`t even know how to say this...for instance, a very good friend of yours dies, your heart and soul breaks...do you have PTSD then, too? I mean, it was a traumatic experience.
Or after a divorce, or catching your partner cheating on you...are those grounds for PTDS, too?
Mysterious illness for me, it seems to me like 80 % of the worlds population must have it then.
Alcoholism is an illness, that I do understand...but it`s one you can beat.
It probably takes your whole life, it`s a battle forever, even SK, today, after 40 years or so of sobriety, thinks about alcohol once in a while.
But, OK.
If the definition of being a drunk is the one you guys said it is- not being able to drink without getting drunk...then yes, I shall accept that.

Thank you Neesy for sharing your story, very moving. I hope it will work out for the best for the both of you.

Thanks - many Scottish people love their Scotch

I find the smell of most Scotch whiskey to be overpowering. He is a great guy - I just don't like how his personality changes when he has had too much to drink - he is like a different person and you cannot reason with him.

Re: PTSD - my Albanian friend from Kosovo probably had this too - that war in the former Yugoslavia affected thousands of people.

I am so glad you have found a new life in Canada and a good woman - and I envy your ability to exercise - wow - I wish I could last that long on the exercise equipment!~

 

[Neesy]

.....he's a functioning alcoholic Neesy......as long as you accept his weaknesses, without supporting them, then you can manage....11 years together shows that, but you need to tell him how his actions makes you feel-never make excuses for him.....

I feel so sad - he does not need to do this to himself

You met him in person - he is a soft spoken man and not very aggressive (thankfully!)

I even think his squamous cell carcinoma that he got under his tongue was also due to the heavy smoking and drinking

He used to have such a beautiful Scottish accent

Well - I am going to just soldier on here and stick by him - we may have our differences but I remember that corny vow "For better or for worse" so let's hope the future holds more happy times for us.

Just like that quote (I bet you know what I am going to say next?)

"Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies"

 

[GNTLGNT]

I feel so sad - he does not need to do this to himself

You met him in person - he is a soft spoken man and not very aggressive (thankfully!)

I even think his squamous cell carcinoma that he got under his tongue was also due to the heavy smoking and drinking

He used to have such a beautiful Scottish accent

Well - I am going to just soldier on here and stick by him - we may have our differences but I remember that corny vow "For better or for worse" so let's hope the future holds more happy times for us.

Just like that quote (I bet you know what I am going to say next?)

"Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies"

...beneath his addiction is a good hearted man....

 

[kingricefan]

Thanks - many Scottish people love their Scotch

I find the smell of most Scotch whiskey to be overpowering. He is a great guy - I just don't like how his personality changes when he has had too much to drink - he is like a different person and you cannot reason with him.

Re: PTSD - my Albanian friend from Kosovo probably had this too - that war in the former Yugoslavia affected thousands of people.

I am so glad you have found a new life in Canada and a good woman - and I envy your ability to exercise - wow - I wish I could last that long on the exercise equipment!~

I call Scotch the elixir of Jekyll and Hyde. Most people I know who drink it change their personality when they do drink it and not for the better. I've seen some of the nicest and sweetest people turn into Tazmanian Devils.....

 

[Neesy]

I call Scotch the elixir of Jekyll and Hyde. Most people I know who drink it change their personality when they do drink it and not for the better. I've seen some of the nicest and sweetest people turn into Tazmanian Devils.....

I used to be like that with Rye Whiskey (back in the day)



But I'm okay now!

 

[skimom2]

"What do you do if you have a struggle like this sometimes, when you get the urge?"

I do not have this urge

However (and I hope this is not TMI) my spouse does.

When I married him 11 years ago he had been drinking and smoking since he was 15 years old (he joined the British army quite young).

Now when he comes back home from up North in Nunavut he is okay at first but very gradually he starts going back to the Legion at the end of our street.

The night before he was due to fly back up to Baker Lake his (drunk) friend came to the house. Andy of course walked with him to the Legion and this was about 8 p.m.

I went to bed at my usual hour as I knew we had to be up very early the next day at 4 a.m.

Andy drank from 8 to 12 p.m., came home, had a bath and went to bed at 1 a.m.

I am pretty sure when he awoke three hours later he was still inebriated. He was so clueless at that point he even grabbed my cell phone on his way out of the house while I was talking to the taxi driver outside.

It cost him 25 bucks to have my cell phone delivered back home to me.

It gets frustrating at times but since I know he's only home for about four weeks and then will go back to a community where they cannot drink (you need to get a license from the RCMP to buy booze as it is mostly Inuit up there) then I feel better, knowing that he is not slowly killing himself with excess alcohol.

Wow - now that I have written all that I am hesitant to push "post reply" but - well - you guys here have helped me in the past, especially when I first joined this board.

I am not looking for sympathy - just someone to tell, to get this off my mind.

He is a good man - a hard worker and he loves me. I just think he has one of those "addictive personalities"

Sorry to ramble on Srbo - you just hit a sensitive spot in my heart

Thanks for listening

(((hugs))) I lived my entire young life with a functioning alcoholic (my dad), and it isn't much fun. Vietnam did a number on him, according to my mom, and he didn't have very good role models--both of his parents were alcoholics. He was a hard worker who kept his problem in check for work, and he was usually a good dad, but there was always that elephant in the room and eggshells to walk on at times. You're in my heart, Neesy.

 

[GNTLGNT]

(((hugs))) I lived my entire young life with a functioning alcoholic (my dad), and it isn't much fun. Vietnam did a number on him, according to my mom, and he didn't have very good role models--both of his parents were alcoholics. He was a hard worker who kept his problem in check for work, and he was usually a good dad, but there was always that elephant in the room and eggshells to walk on at times. You're in my heart, Neesy.

...said so much better than I did...

 

[Neesy]

(((hugs))) I lived my entire young life with a functioning alcoholic (my dad), and it isn't much fun. Vietnam did a number on him, according to my mom, and he didn't have very good role models--both of his parents were alcoholics. He was a hard worker who kept his problem in check for work, and he was usually a good dad, but there was always that elephant in the room and eggshells to walk on at times. You're in my heart, Neesy.

...said so much better than I did...

Thank you both - I understood what you meant Scott

Re: why people drink e.g. Vietnam etc. Andy recalls having a very mean Dad and it does not sound like Friday nights were fun for the kids when his "faither" would come home from the pub in a foul mood and take it out on the wife and kids

He was happy to escape that life and thus joined the British Army at 15 with his parents permission.

(((skimmom))) - thanks - you turned out awfully good, all things considered!