Best sarcastic response when someone sees my Stephen King book collection?

[Rrty]

This is like the Mad magazine feature, Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions, by Al Jaffee.

GNT, your oh-my-god-they're-back suggestion is worthy of being a Stephen King short story.

 

[Dana Jean]

I am an abomination for most who see my bookcase. Most of these are people who do not have a book in their house other than the bible.

 

[lowman]

I am a rather sarcastic person but I like to think I do it in good humour rather then just be a miserable so and so. I personally think a good dose of sarcasm is healthy and the HIGHEST form of wit. Hence why King fans are sarcastic.

I must be a genius cause i got sarcasm for days lol. But MOST of the time its all in fun, most being the key word there

 

[kingricefan]

'So, you like Stephen King, huh?'
'Yes, and so do millions of other intelligent people.'

 

[kingricefan]

'No, but I'm trying to buy up all the King books I can find so other people won't read them and be mentally damaged.'

 

[kingricefan]

'You're pretty quick! I'd bet you'd be able to understand one of them there books.'

 

[staropeace]

I might also try going a bit Lovecraftian and take a leaf from N. And say.. 'I don't but if I don't keep reading HE might come through

Random question for you all - wondered if anyone had had the same thing happen.

I have a large bookshelf in my spare room where I keep all my Stephen King books and associated literature. I wouldn't call it a shrine (there are no candles or alters or anything) but I like to keep them all together. I have pretty much all his work so, it's not a small shelf!

Whenever I have guests over who see the bookshelf I get the same question. 'Oh, do you like Stephen King then?'. I started by responding normally but over time I have been developing a repertoire of irreverant responses.

I first just said 'No, not really' and then changed the topic. My current favourite response is to say 'Yes, but not for the stories - if you read the first word of the second paragraph of the second chapter of each book it explains the existence of the illuminati and their influence on the world'. I then touch my nose in a conspiritorial way and wink.

Anyway, anyone else have any good lines I could use?

I have a downstairs sorta snug with all walls lined with books. Even inserted shelves where I can shelve books two rows deep. I have a large fish tank. A sofa set and a boston rocker with a fireplace and rugs under accent tables...the usual cozy place. Folks ask me the same questions about King. It makes me wonder how to respond to the obvious when they point out King or McCammon or the OTHERS. I usually say, never read them now do you want to look at my etchings? Wanna come into my cold storage and check out the dreaded COLD SPOT. Folks are some strange, aye.

 

[mjs9153]

Random question for you all - wondered if anyone had had the same thing happen.

I have a large bookshelf in my spare room where I keep all my Stephen King books and associated literature. I wouldn't call it a shrine (there are no candles or alters or anything) but I like to keep them all together. I have pretty much all his work so, it's not a small shelf!

Whenever I have guests over who see the bookshelf I get the same question. 'Oh, do you like Stephen King then?'. I started by responding normally but over time I have been developing a repertoire of irreverant responses.

I first just said 'No, not really' and then changed the topic. My current favourite response is to say 'Yes, but not for the stories - if you read the first word of the second paragraph of the second chapter of each book it explains the existence of the illuminati and their influence on the world'. I then touch my nose in a conspiritorial way and wink.

Anyway, anyone else have any good lines I could use?

That is exactly how I keep mine,in a spare room in bookcase that is mostly taken up by them..

 

[Maskins]

Oh I got nothing. In fact the type of people I hang out with don't really read for fun so it never really comes up. In fact when the books I have come up it is usually not "oh you have a lot of stephen king books." it is "YOU LIKE TO READ?!?!?!?!

Yeah - I would be pretty stumped with that. Maybe just shake your head and say 'nah - but have you seen the price of toilet paper these days?'

 

[Maskins]

...nossir, it just a warning label for all of the present and accounted for smart-asses....

I believe that I may, as the kids say (circa ten years ago), have been served!!

 

[Maskins]

Our Gentle Giant is a master of sarcasm. Don't be alarmed.

As for a response, I am not as witty as most on here. I would probably just say no, then never invite that person over again.

Oh ouch - that's a good idea but I would get through my friends pretty quickly!

 

[GNTLGNT]

This is like the Mad magazine feature, Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions, by Al Jaffee.

GNT, your oh-my-god-they're-back suggestion is worthy of being a Stephen King short story.

...thank ye kindly....

 

[GNTLGNT]

'You're pretty quick! I'd bet you'd be able to understand one of them there books.'

...channeling yer inner PITH huh?.....

 

[GNTLGNT]

..."nope, neither like nor read SK. It's just that his books are so huge it will take me less time to fully soundproof the room with them. Then let the screams begin!...

 

[Jaime_Home]

Hahahaha keep it up love it

 

[not_nadine]

"Don't read 'em, But I love the movies, especially The Shining. I wonder if the book is as good?"
"Loved Maximum Overdrive and The Lawnmower man movies."

 

[Ebdim9th]

Somebody just kept sending these to me in the mail so I kept them.

 

[king family fan]

What book collection,all you mean my King size collection?

 

[mal]

"I've never read them. I'm hoping when he eventually dies I can sell them for a profit."

 

[Maskins]

How about - I bought them by mistake. I thought they were by that other Stephen King who keeps popping up on my Amazon recommendations.