Book Jealousy

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doowopgirl

very avid fan
Aug 7, 2009
6,946
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dublin ireland
I think when we were first married my husband didn't really understand how someone could spend so much time reading. He would read, just not as much as I do. Over time he has come to respect my habit. Also we do have our own hobbies. So time doing our own thing is fine. Our son is a big reader, and so is his girlfriend, so that works fine, too. His mother never did understand and when we were living there I had to leave the room to read. She was convinced I was reading because I was bored.
 

MadamMack

M e m b e r
Apr 11, 2006
17,958
45,138
UnParked, UnParked U.S.A.
11826011_10155846153720207_6230576071417368013_n.jpg
 

skimom2

Just moseyin' through...
Oct 9, 2013
15,683
92,168
USA
With my first husband yes, it did bother him --and like DJ, everything about me bothered him. He always felt I was too smart and I think the fact that I always read made him feel threaten.
I think that's one of the big things that made me look twice at my husband: He's NEVER been intimidated by me, or expected me to be anything but what I am. He's proud of me and not threatened at all. It's a rare and beautiful thing, and necessary, as I never learned to play dumb (or how to play any head games, really--my girls say it's a curse, because they can't do it either--lol). I knew for sure that I'd found the right one when he met my best friend, a gay man, and didn't give a good g*ddamn whether he was gay, straight, or somewhere in-between. That was not so common when we were young. They both ganged up to tease me--lol. Confidence, man...it's a wonderful thing!
 

MadamMack

M e m b e r
Apr 11, 2006
17,958
45,138
UnParked, UnParked U.S.A.
I think that's one of the big things that made me look twice at my husband: He's NEVER been intimidated by me, or expected me to be anything but what I am. He's proud of me and not threatened at all. It's a rare and beautiful thing, and necessary, as I never learned to play dumb (or how to play any head games, really--my girls say it's a curse, because they can't do it either--lol). I knew for sure that I'd found the right one when he met my best friend, a gay man, and didn't give a good g*ddamn whether he was gay, straight, or somewhere in-between. That was not so common when we were young. They both ganged up to tease me--lol. Confidence, man...it's a wonderful thing!

Yes! I have that now and I wouldn't trade him for anything. He's a big comfort and I need that because in my line of work I deal with men that feel a need to prove that they are smarter than me, I am the only female in my department of six. I never back down because I know how to do my job very well and I'm always teaching myself. I also know that because I am female I am considered beneath them. People find me attractive but I have never used that to make my way. Beauty fades . . .
 

CrimsonKingAH

LOVE & PEACE
Jun 8, 2015
5,539
17,003
East Texas
No, never been a problem... I read while doing 'just about' everything... it's who I am and what I do. I get books as gifts from my family as well, so its known and accepted.. lol My kids love reading as well. Kinda funny how my oldest orders us all books from Amazon as special surprise gifts since he moved to D.C. .
I don't understand how anyone could be jealous of books or any time spent on one's self..? We all have that 'self' or 'me' time, no matter what our hobbies or interests are.. such as tv, games, computers, reading, sports, etc So I really don't understand... unless they could be insecure?
 

80sFan

Just one more chapter...
Jul 14, 2015
2,997
16,167
Pennsylvania
Not at all. My husband is not a reader. He *can* read but he can probably count the number of books he's finished on one hand. Be that as it may, he respects and encourages my love of reading. When I'm visibly stressed, he'll sometimes say " Why don't you make some tea and go read your book for a while?" And I basically get sent to another (quieter) part of the house. I love that he knows me so well.
 

mjs9153

Peripherally known member..
Nov 21, 2014
3,494
22,165
I look at reading as time to help your brain relax,and rewire itself..if anyone remembers Ralph Roberts talking to his drugstore pharmacist in Insomnia,that is what I mean.It is funny how people look at being a constant reader as almost a handicap,like "how can you spend your time with your nose stuck in a book?" as if it is a waste of time..sounds like Ms Mod,and MM,and several others,have found the right partner,one who not only is not threatened by the reading,but accepts it as part and parcel to your personalities..
 

muskrat

Dis-Member
Nov 8, 2010
4,518
19,564
Under your bed
I s'pose it bothered the ex-wife the most, but then, had I been doing something else--sports, watching sports, hunting, fishing, basket weaving, etc., she woulda hated it. I guess you could say she was a narcissist, and had a host of issues--still does, but we get along great; for our son's sake, as well the fact that we'd been friends for seven years before getting together. What sparked our relationship was my having found out she'd read RAGE, which gave us something in common. And in the beginning, I DID turn her on to some great books--Watchmen, Fear And Loathing, some Kerouac. But soon, her true self emerged, and it was all, "You and your damn books, always reading or writing--why dontcha go work on cars like a real man?" Blah...like writers ain't real men.

Ugh, ramble much, muskie? Sorry, you guys don't wanna hear that gunk. Anyway, like I say, we get along fine now. Actually caught her reading Everything's Eventual one day when I picked up the punk. She has Thompson's two-thumbed Gonzo fist tattooed on the back of her neck. Can't say I didn't show her some culture.

Now, my crazy girlfriend before THAT...let's just say time reading was better spent painting her toenails or worshiping her devine self. The less said about her, the better. And the one before that: "Books again? C'mon, man, let's go score!", before eventually leaving me, taking with her several valuable comic books she tried to sell for dope money. And the one before THAT...

Bad taste in women, I guess. Next lady friend I get better be a writer, or a librarian, something...
 

HollyGolightly

Well-Known Member
Sep 6, 2013
9,660
74,320
54
Heart of the South
Me and my books, him and his sports - we've never been too much in each other's business where hobbies are concerned. There are things we like to do together - DIY projects mostly. He's actually tried to read - SK even (Joyland and Cell), but it's just not his thing. I don't mind him going on football weekends or golf weekends. He doesn't mind when I spend 3 days and nights solid absorbed with a new loverbook.

Makes me think of this funny thing:
 

HollyGolightly

Well-Known Member
Sep 6, 2013
9,660
74,320
54
Heart of the South
Yes. Everything I do bothers him but that's another story.

I very much like couples who can do their own thing. They don't have to be up each other's azzes 24/7. I have my hobbies. I have things I enjoy. I like alone time. I like to be in my house by myself.

Do I need to set him straight, dear sister wife? He needs a lesson.
 

muskrat

Dis-Member
Nov 8, 2010
4,518
19,564
Under your bed
And my cats, yeah, when I had em. Dang things always laying on the open books. You cat folks know how it is. Why do they do it? Attention. And they seem to love books.

My cats love my reading. They like to sleep on my books or scratch their necks on the books in my hand.
 
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staropeace

Richard Bachman's love child
Nov 28, 2006
15,210
48,848
Alberta,Canada
And my cats, yeah, when I had em. Dang things always laying on the open books. You cat folks know how it is. Why do they do it? Attention. And they seem to love books.
A symbiotic relationship, I think. Writers and readers love cats. Cats love books and their owners.
 
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muskrat

Dis-Member
Nov 8, 2010
4,518
19,564
Under your bed
A symbiotic relationship, I think. Writers and readers love cats. Cats love books and their owners.

Tis true. My tom Gomez used to come up to my library/loft/study, hang out, hop up on the table--just chill whilst I wuz scribblin.

Alas, livin in the woods, he often heard the call of the wild (he came from those woods, see), and would leave a week or so at a time, come back lookin like he'd done a tour in 'Nam. Last time he went, Charley musta got em.
 

staropeace

Richard Bachman's love child
Nov 28, 2006
15,210
48,848
Alberta,Canada
Tis true. My tom Gomez used to come up to my library/loft/study, hang out, hop up on the table--just chill whilst I wuz scribblin.

Alas, livin in the woods, he often heard the call of the wild (he came from those woods, see), and would leave a week or so at a time, come back lookin like he'd done a tour in 'Nam. Last time he went, Charley musta got em.
Awwwwww. It is sad. I hope he was happy with his life though. That is what counts eh?
 
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