But I recommend this movie...

[Neil W]

That was very wicked of me to start a thread crammed with horror movies which, in my view, are simply too bad to bear watching. The least I can do by way of compensation is to offer up some movies which (again, in my view) may well be worth the time you invest in them. Not that many horrors among them, but I've tried to steer clear of films which are likely to have been widely seen and some, I am sure, will require careful hunting down.

Of course, I have no idea which films come up on frequent rotation on US TV, so please forgive me if I offer up something thinking it is unfamiliar, but everyone has seen it four times in the last week.

I'll start with:

Mirrormask

Neil Gaiman and Dave McKean have worked together a lot in comics with a great deal of success, and a collaboration in film sounds like a good bet.

And you can definitely see the strengths in Mirrormask - if nothing else, McKean's extraordinary design sense (like it or loathe it, you can't ignore it) leaps off the screen from nearly every frame. And Gaiman's passion for myth and the rooting of story in group memory underlies the story.

Which, unfortunately, is also the film's main flaw - its sources are a little too obvious, and it sometimes feels as if you're watching Alice in Wonderland / Labyrinth / Wizard of Oz with a new paint job.

But these men are not to be written off. There is far too much talent in them for that. I think, in years to come, Mirrormask will be looked at as an experimental first step into cinema for both of them - an imperfect learning experience and a clear first footstep on the path to greater work.

 

[Neil W]

Rötmånad

I must set this film in context. It dates back to 1970, which marks the one and only time I saw it, as part of a late night double bill at a small provincial British cinema (under the title What Are You Doing After The Orgy). I was 18, and had grown up in a society which, at that point, was very repressed over sexual matters. This was long before the internet, remember, and UK censors had only recently decided that the sight of pubic hair wouldn't necessarily turn us all into depraved rapists overnight. So, as an impressionable and somewhat sheltered 18 year old on the lookout for some all-too-rare mucky stuff, I turned out for this late night showing.

What I got was a film which, to my way of thinking, did not fit the title under which it was offered. Nor did it particularly fit the genre "comedy" as mentioned above. Perhaps the Swedes found it funny, but I'm pretty sure I didn't, especially given the nature of the ending. I think I didn't find the whole notion of Mum returning and recruiting her teenage daughter into prostitution that comical, either.

I did enjoy the movie, though. The story, which is downright weird, was gripping. And Christina Lindberg as the daughter was so powerfully erotic that the two nude scenes (and there were only two! unless the UK censors had snipped others) have stayed with me throughout the 44 years since then.

Please understand that any comments based on a single viewing 44 years ago, when my native society - and ! - were very different are inevitably going to be somewhat unreliable. But I think I might try to track this film down on DVD nonetheless, so that I can see whether watching it again will be able to conjure up that naive young man from the mists of my personal history.

 

[Neil W]

A Bunch Of Amateurs

A Bunch Of Amateurs is an understated little gem. I do not suppose it will gain a wide release, but it deserves wider circulation than it will achieve.

Burt Reynolds is Jefferson Steel, a fading star of big-budget but increasingly awful action movies. When the offers dry up he presses his agent (an ill-looking Charles Durning) to find him work. And when the offer comes to play King Lear on stage at Stratford, Steel is on the first trans-Atlantic flight. However, due to imperfect communication, he is appalled to discover that the production in question is taking place in a converted barn in the little village of Stratford (not -on-Avon) to save the local amateur theatre group from going under. Steel tries to escape his contract but can't, and the initial culture clash between privileged, pampered Hollywood superstar on the one hand, and low key, frugal, rural England on the other, slowly begins to have its effect.

Reynolds is fine, if a little unemotional, but the fun in this film comes from the rest of the cast, particularly from Imelda Staunton who is note-perfect playing the besotted landlady of the B&B where Steel stays.

The story is slight, but the situation is inherently funny and the script ticks all the right boxes. There is an interesting plot development just past the halfway mark which runs in a slightly unexpected direction before the movie finishes up on course at the end, and this encompasses the best use of profanity in a film which I can recall (bad and unnecessary use of profanity being one of my bugbears). Thankfully it avoids moving into the romance which is threatened from time to time, although this can be read into what happens after the closing credits if you so wish.

If I have one criticism - and it is a very mild one - it is that a village drama society featuring Derek Jacobi and Samantha Bond is hardly A Bunch Of Amateurs!

 

[Neil W]

Zvartboek (Black Book)

Paul (Showgirls, Total Recall, Robocop) Verhoeven delivers a film about a Jewish woman surviving in occupied Holland during World War II.

This is a gripping war drama, wholly credible in both concept and execution. Although it has the gloss, drive, and production values which we have come to expect from modern films, it never loses sight of the humanity which lay behind the real-world events which are fictionalised in this film.

And it has a splendid cast, mostly unknown outside Holland, headed by the wonderful Carice van Houten who simply lights up the screen whenever she is on it. Her performance is a standout.

 

[Neil W]

Donkey Punch

This small scale British film had certain elements of the right-wing press frothing at the mouth for the way it portrays young British people.

I have to say that it's not a nice film. But that doesn't necessarily mean that it's a bad film, or an unenjoyable film.

Three young women from the north of England go on holiday to the Mediterranean. They accept an invitation onto a boat crewed by four young men. What follows is an evening of drugs and sex, culminating in the donkey punch of the title - a sexual act foolishly put into effect by one of the young men, as a result of which one of the girls dies. The four men and the two surviving girls then have to decide what to do about the dead girl, and the various different personal agendas and deteriorating relationships lead one to wonder if they will all survive the night (it's probably not a spoiler if I say that they don't).

It's fair to agree that the early part of the film doesn't paint the young people involved in a creditable light (with the exception of one of the girls and one of the lads who are somewhat more restrained than the others). It would be foolish to deny that this sort of activity goes on, albeit it may not be as widespread as Outraged of Guildford might think. The final two-thirds, though, after the set-up, are a decent thriller of the "last man standing" variety, livened up by the fact that we aren't waiting for the killer to catch them all one by one, it's more a matter of who is going to do in who.

It's also fair to say that it has the look of a very polished movie from its first-time director, it plays well on the claustrophobic nature of its location (where, of course, it is far from alone), and its young cast certainly go for it in every way - they are all very good.

As something of an old right-wing git myself, I wasn't outraged - I was gripped all the way through, and rather enjoyed it.

 

[Neil W]

Tyrannosauus Azteca

So Cortes and a small band of Spaniards plan to steal from a tribe of half a dozen Hawaiian Aztecs who have a bad CGI T Rex and a megalomaniac shaman on hand to generate some random slaughter. There are some love triangle shenanigans going on involving the psycho shaman, one of the Spaniards, and a very freckly Hawaiian Aztec princess (Dichen Lachman, the only Australian/Nepalese actress I have ever encountered), the latter two of whom indulge in a swift knee-trembler at the most inopportune moment.

That deals with the plot.

I do not understand how a tribe so small (half the members of which have been killed by the end of the film) manages to survive.

The scenery is lush and gorgeous.

The CGI would have been better if even a slight attempt had been made to integrate the T Rex with the background. The blood round the T Rex's mouth alternates between red and greeny-brown.

The cast are all thoroughly committed, although the shaman chews the scenery somewhat - he might as well have a sign reading "VILLAIN" hanging round his neck.

The slaughter - of which there is plenty - is hilariously over the top.

In short, this film is everything you might expect a movie called Tyrannosaurus Azteca (aka Aztec Rex) to be, and proves that I do indeed have a taste for low-budget schlock if it has something worthwhile about it.

 

[Neil W]

Venus

Very few films in recent years have pleased and stunned me as much as this small independent British film.

A simple story of an unlikely relationship between an old actor near the end of his days and the young unvarnished grand-niece of a friend, it is brave, funny, truthful and moving. The clichés inherent in a tale of a dirty old man's burgeoning obsession and a shallow and somewhat damaged young woman's readiness to take advantage of it take on far greater depth than the simple scenario might indicate.

Peter O'Toole, always impressive, has never been better but Jodie Whittaker, in her first major role, holds her own. Leslie Phillips, Vanessa Redgrave, and Richard Griffiths in supporting roles lend sterling support.

There is laugh-out-loud humour (particularly if you are getting on in years), there is some very rough language (much of which is justified), there are some shocks and, above all, there is truth. It is never too late to learn, and both the lead characters do so.

A wonderful film.

 

[Neil W]

Surveillance

I'm usually happy to spoiler away in reviews - this time I shall be very careful not to spoiler.

I hadn't realised that the tendency to make disturbing movies is hereditary, but Jennifer Lynch's Surveillance is every bit as disturbing as anything Dad David has made. It starts with a moderately familiar scenario - two FBI agents arrive at a small police station (4 officers, one captain, one dispatcher) in the back of beyond to tape video interviews with the survivors of some sort of incident: the nature of what happened is revealed during the interviews. To say any more is to spoiler, so I'll shut up about the plot.

But I will say that "disturbing" is the best word to describe almost all of what follows. And not just one lot of disturbing, but several. The film is gripping, visceral, and features some stunning performances, notably from Bill Pullman who is not someone who I would normally have put high on my list of those I expect to surprise me performance-wise.

Not an easy film in many ways, but definitely worth catching.

 

[Neil W]

Everything Is Illuminated

Everything Is Illuminated is a small, leisurely, gentle film telling an intimate story. But, conversely, it takes in big issues, both personal and as regards events on the world stage of 70 years ago.

Liev Schrieber, as screenwriter and director, clearly understands that less is often more as he tells his story in an understated way. He uses the rich humour of Eugene Hutz' idiosyncratic Ukrainian interpreter Alex and guide as counterpoint to the way the other key stories here - Alex' grandfather, Lista, Jonathan and, of course those who lived and died during the war - come out almost incidentally, and the more powerfully for that.

Elijah Wood is, as ever, excellent, but he is more than matched by the non-English speaking cast.

This film is well worth watching.

 

[Neil W]

Warlock (1989)

Warlock is that rare beast - a horror film which has a genuinely original premise.

The effects and production values show clear signs of budget and age but, within those limitations, the movie is attacked with spirit, imagination, and invention.

The three main protagonists are well cast, and acquit themselves with credit.

The script is punchy, pacey and witty.

Most of all, Warlock is huge fun, a much underrated quality.

Highly recommended.

 

[Neil W]

In Bruges

In Bruges is very strong meat indeed. To be receptive to it, you must be ready for graphic violence, constant extreme bad language, drug abuse, moral ambiguity, and massive political incorrectness.

If you can accept that, you are in for a treat. You get an unusual story with threads which tie together unexpectedly, strong characterisation, much splendid black and tasteless humour, sharp dialogue, brilliant acting and, despite the fact that the main characters are unsavoury in many respects, a fundamental underlying sense of humanity.

This film is shocking, gripping, touching, uncomfortable, and eye-wateringly funny.

I was very, very impressed.

 

[Neil W]

I'll add some more next week.

 

[skimom2]

I love this thread! I've been a movie lover all my life, but have become pretty disillusioned by most of the big Hollywood films; though there's the rare blockbuster that I genuinely love, they're few and far between. Of those you've mentioned, I enjoyed MirrorMask quite a bit. It was at the very least an interesting idea, and I agree with you about McKean: love him or hate him, you have to look. It had some of the weird factor of Tidelands, but that one missed the mark for me. In Bruges is a family favorite (well, not for the 8 yr old)--lol. If someone liked that one, they'd likely enjoy The Guard, as well.

 

[Lily Sawyer]

Zvartboek (Black Book)

Paul (Showgirls, Total Recall, Robocop) Verhoeven delivers a film about a Jewish woman surviving in occupied Holland during World War II.

This is a gripping war drama, wholly credible in both concept and execution. Although it has the gloss, drive, and production values which we have come to expect from modern films, it never loses sight of the humanity which lay behind the real-world events which are fictionalised in this film.

And it has a splendid cast, mostly unknown outside Holland, headed by the wonderful Carice van Houten who simply lights up the screen whenever she is on it. Her performance is a standout.

This is a terrific film. I loved it, too.

 

[Neil W]

It's good to see that these aren't unknown, but I hope they are also a bit off the beaten track.

 

[Neil W]

Triangle

On the grounds that I am going to spoiler this movie totally, I'll start with the summary. It is a psychological suspense / mystery / horror with supernatural and possibly science fiction overtones. Of its sort it isn't bad at all (although there are, for sure, unanswered questions at the end), and I quite enjoyed it.

I'm now going to reveal the entire plot from start to finish so, if you're likely to want to see it and be surprised by its surprises, STOP READING NOW.

Spoiler

Jess (Melissa George) is a single mother to an autistic son. She is invited out sailing with a number of friends, although she seems in a very strange frame of mind. A freak squall capsizes the yacht, but they are picked up by a deserted ocean liner. They are attacked and killed, one by one, by a mystery assailant. Jess is the last one and ends up fighting the assailant who, she discovers, is herself. No sooner has she managed to tip the assailant into the sea then the capsized boat is sighted, she and her friends come on board, and she realises that the cycle is starting again. After trying to break the cycle she realises that it has been going on for quite some time (there is a particularly horrifying revelation which, unfortunately, is given away by the trailer) and that fully embracing her part in it is the only way to get back to her son. On being washed to shore she returns home just before she leaves for the sailing trip. Realising how cruel she is being to her son, she savagely murders her original self, but then crashes her car, killing her son. So, of course, her only way of saving him is to go on the sailing trip...

All this is quite good fun and, if it is all taking place in her head because she is a complete nutjob, then fair enough. However, if the events are supposed to be actual, then the sudden squall and deserted ocean liner need some explaining which they never get. More importantly, Jess actually has sequential continuity of memory except when it doesn't suit the plot (this isn't her first time on the liner, yet it seems only vaguely familiar: other times she remembers exactly what happened earlier). This isn't a fatal flaw, but it slightly spoils what is otherwise a fairly well thought out unspooling of similar and repeated events.

But overall, this is a fun excursion into the weird.

 

[Neil W]

Beyond The Valley Of The Dolls

I saw this movie at the Odeon Swiss Cottage soon after it first came out (in a double bill with Fellini's Satyricon if I recall correctly, now there was a double bill to be reckoned with!) and it is, to date, the only movie I have ever seen where the cinema audience spontaneously stood and applauded as the closing credits rolled.

We had enjoyed the eye candy of attractive young people in varying states of undress. We had enjoyed a pleasing soundtrack. We had been bemused (what with it being a first exposure to Meyer for most of us) by dialogue which sounded like an out-of-touch middle aged man's idea of how the young and hip talk. We had been perplexed by a plot which embraced melodrama so enthusiastically (and, at times, improbably). And we had been astonished by a resolution of hysterical unlikeliness. And then, just when we thought we had seen and heard everything, Meyer capped the whole thing with a Voice-Of-God summary which had everyone collapsed in pleats of laughter.

There is nothing else quite like this movie.

See it.

 

[Neil W]

The Puppet Masters

Despite being one of the key dozen or so science fiction writers of the 20th Century, relatively little of Robert Heinlein's work has been filmed and, with the exception of Starship Troopers (turned on its idealogical head), nothing from the 60s onwards, when his work started to carry more serious subtext.

The Puppet Masters, a book from the 50s, is essentially fairly lightweight, albeit the invasion motif is similar to that of much 1950s science fiction in echoing a fear about the spread of communism - indeed, the parasitic slugs in Puppet Masters form a single entity - a commune if you will - and are therefore a fairly obvious analogue for the red menace. The novel was also fairly saucy for its time, with large chunks of the population having to peel down to their skimpies and beyond to prove that their clothing was not hiding the alien slugs.

Well, as usual, Hollywood doesn't like to present the naked body to the viewing public, so the protagonists in this film version of Heinlein's story encounter more difficulty than they need to, simply by virtue of everybody keeping their clothes on. Apart from that, it follows the main sequence of events fairly faithfully, albeit updated to be more contemporary.

Donald Sutherland is a serviceable "Old Man", even though he is quite different to how I imagined the character from the book (which hardly matters). There are several well-known albeit minor names in the secondary case, but the main leads are taken by Eric Thal and Julie Warner. Neither has had major success before or since (Warner had a lengthy run in Family Law) and, to be perfectly frank, this movie gives a good idea why - they have little charisma, and no chemistry despite the fact that they supposedly fall in love during the film. The story demands lead players who don't come across as insipid, but it doesn't get them.

There is relatively little in terms of special effects, but what there is does the job. The major effect is the slugs themselves, and they are pleasingly unpleasant..

There is some offensive - and entirely unnecessary - use of the F-bomb. I don't mind it when it's there for a purpose: here it serves no purpose whatsoever. It doesn't advance the plot or illuminate character, it simply makes an unpleasant comment even more unpleasant, and it could have been omitted entirely without any detrimental effect on the movie.

With some promotion, this movie could have been rather more successful than it was, albeit it came on the heels of what might have appeared to be similar epidemic-type stories. Perhaps Heinlein's time in movies is still to come.

 

[Neil W]

Insecticidal

One has to start by saying that the monsters in this monster movie are a spider, a scorpion and a beetle (with a praying mantis playing second fiddle - not literally, ha ha) which are, without any doubt, among the least convincing CGI creations ever digitally transferred to celluloid. Add to this a plot which came straight from the first module in the monster movie training manual (crossbred with the plot of a girls' sorority dorm movie), and we're off to a bad start.

But somehow this not very good film - and let's be honest, it really isn't very good - manages to transcend its disadvantaged beginnings (and middle. And end). It never takes itself seriously for an instant, which helps, the cast of unknowns give it their all and acquit themselves reasonably well, and the whole thing is done with a palpable sense of fun.

One of the most enjoyable bad movies I've watched for ages - scored 1 for quality, 9 for entertainment value, giving an average of 5.

 

[Neil W]

A Matter Of Life And Death (US: Stairway To Heaven) (1946)

Anyone who enjoys fantasy movies MUST watch this movie. That's because it is one of those rare movies, particularly within the fantasy genre, which works on multiple levels.

On a superficial level it is the story of a WWII airman who has a miraculous survival, leading to love between him and the radio operator who received his transmission when they both believed he would die. This romance feeds into a fantasy trial in heaven which parallels the brain injury and surgery which have followed on from his plane crashing. Thus far we have romance, fantasy, parallel stories and an element of poetry in the telling. Then we have the trial itself - suspenseful, funny, and full of huge, huge truths - about war, nationalism, love, and what it means to be human.

This film is a work of staggering genius and, if you haven't seen it before, go out and get the DVD.

NOW!