Today I had a horrible day. I had a fright with an ectopic beat in my heart which started off a panic attack. I have had 'anxiety' before...fear through my whole body that no logic will simmer down...even in the depths of that (and please understand me telling you this is the 1% of me) I always know its panic. What happened to me today was not like that. The ectopic beat went, which if you dont know feels like your heart stopped and began again with a bang...followed by a quicker beat..panic set in and this beat increased...all the way up to 140 a minute, resting. For the 1st time (thats not true...the 2nd time...3rd possibly) I could not get a handle on myself and I could not settle...I could not recognise it was panic. No anxiety attack has ever been as physical. I called an ambulance in the middle of my driveway like a complete nutcase. I then went to my doctor, after being told my heart was fine, ectopic beat...nothing to worry about I agreed (not the 1st time I have been asked) to try some longer term anti anxiety medication but the thing is, I feel like this is not good enough...I have always felt some accomplishment in handling this type of thing without help, if you know its anxiety/panic...then really there is nothing to worry about and I take it...until its gone. I consider myself strong for it. But that wasnt today. I really though, as ashamed as I am to say it...that my heart was stopping and any moment I would go into cardiac arrest. That alone was scary...scarier still knowing all that physical REAL symptoms were in my head. Of course after the doc and the evidence the attack goes away and I am left tired, tearful and feeling stupid. TRICKED! by my own neurotics. This is the only place I knew there were people to talk to who arent in my daily life...so here I am, throwing it up on the message board. I have had a valium and a glass of wine (1 prescribed, the other - deserved) and I am feeling slow but not frightened. The very lack of ME...of my usual understanding of whats going on, even when its unpleasant...that was scary. Side note :Rather panic attack than a heart attack for sure. I'm rambling and maybe I dont know what I am trying to say so that makes it hard to say it...but here I am. Wanna talk?