I can't imagine it's much fun when you're putting that kind of pressure on yourself. Write for the sake of writing rather than someone else's approval and see if that changes how it goes.
Connor's Writing Log
- Thread starter Connor B
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I can't imagine it's much fun when you're putting that kind of pressure on yourself. Write for the sake of writing rather than someone else's approval and see if that changes how it goes.
Well, at the very least, I wrote two pages today. I feel more comfortable working on my Brother GX-6750 than on Microsoft Word. When I've got the keys of that beast at my fingertips, I usually have on my reading glasses and I dress my best; I never write in just my underwear and a t-shirt. Sometimes, you can see a stack of paper on the table and a can or two of soda. You may even see episodes of The Twilight Zone or a favorite movie playing in the background, the noise from the television mixing with the clanking of "Ronin".
Yes, I named my typewriter "Ronin", after the John Frankenheimer movie.
Yes, I named my typewriter "Ronin", after the John Frankenheimer movie.
There you go! That's a successful accomplishment right there.
Hopefully, I can get a first draft of Alphaboy and some short stories done before Christmas. And yes, I'm still kicking around ideas for screenplays.
If you do, that's great, but don't beat yourself up if you don't. It will all get done when it gets done, one word at a time.
I really want to finish Alphaboy soon. It's a story that really wants to come out of me, and one I've wanted to tell for a long time. It could be seen as kind of an adolescent male's testosterone-fueled fantasy; there is a beautiful girl in peril, a hideous villain in charge of a particularly scummy syndicate of evil, and a body count in the hundreds. There is property damage. There are fights, shootouts, chases, and asses being kicked, excuse my French.
I'm now three chapters and about twenty five pages into Alphaboy, and I have started a second draft of Redesigning Eva.
Okay, I'm in a bit of a pickle. I've been trying to come up with a play to write for my old high school drama teacher. It's my way of paying her back for being such a great teacher. I've been having trouble coming up with story ideas. What if I adapted Redesigning Eva for the stage? When I originally conceived of the idea, it was going to be a script, and the story has a very theatrical feel, at least in my mind. Not too sure about the violence, though.
Hey Connor. I hope you're feeling better. You sound a bit like I did before my house burned down. Funny how a thing like almost dying and losing life as you know it puts things in perspective. I used to lay in bed every day, praying for something to kill me because I was too weak to do it myself and, as I understand it, God isn't too fond of suicides. Then the fire happened, it was like the answer to my prayers, but it happened at the crack of dawn and there were other people in the house, plus my cat. Instead of just laying there and letting it take me, like I'd been praying for, my first instinct was to fight for my life. To get my cat and get out, along with the others. My prayer got answered and all I had to do was just lie there, but I didn't. It was a get busy living or get busy dying type situation. I'm really glad to be alive today and I don't feel sad and hopeless anymore. I hope you don't either. But I also hope your house doesn't have to burn down for you to break out of your funk because that really sucks, lol. And it wasn't like, poof, my house burned down and I almost died, geez, I'm all better. It actually took some time and some new perspectives and lessons that came along in the aftermath.
I think you should take care of yourself and not worry about writing to make anyone else happy. I know you want to repay your teacher for her kindness, but I don't think she is sitting around saying, 'when am I going to get my payback for being nice to that kid?' and I also don't think she, or he, would be happy knowing that you are stressing yourself out and feel that you have to come up with a masterpiece in order to feel like a worthwhile person. You are enough. People are and were good to you not because of what you would become, but because of who you already are, and who you've always been. You are already enough and you are totally worthwhile, masterpiece or no. Have fun, and go on an adventure, even if that adventure is just sleeping on a park bench for a night, or skipping a day of school to go to the museum or art gallery, or just wander around aimlessly in a neighbourhood you like. Drag yourself out of bed, forget the writing and just get out of the house. Fresh air and exercise can do wonders, even if it's hell to get started. I had to do that today because I was just sitting here, staring at my screen, and getting nothing. I walked for over an hour. I still don't have any ideas, but I feel like I'm a lot closer than if I'd continued to just sit here stressing my brain. Plus I was able to pick up my dry-cleaning and a new lunchbox for my son so, win-win. Anyways, best.
Oh, and I'm a perfectionist. You know what's good for a perfectionist? Knitting!!! It's awesome! It's a craft where perfectionism really pays off. Each stitch can be glorious in it's perfection, and the feeling of finishing an item with zero flaws is... it's really inspiring and confidence building. I knit sometimes when I'm blocked up and it really clears your head. Just another idea. Keep trying things till something sticks, right? Seriously, you will LOVE knitting! (and you get clothes out of it so, win-win!)
I think you should take care of yourself and not worry about writing to make anyone else happy. I know you want to repay your teacher for her kindness, but I don't think she is sitting around saying, 'when am I going to get my payback for being nice to that kid?' and I also don't think she, or he, would be happy knowing that you are stressing yourself out and feel that you have to come up with a masterpiece in order to feel like a worthwhile person. You are enough. People are and were good to you not because of what you would become, but because of who you already are, and who you've always been. You are already enough and you are totally worthwhile, masterpiece or no. Have fun, and go on an adventure, even if that adventure is just sleeping on a park bench for a night, or skipping a day of school to go to the museum or art gallery, or just wander around aimlessly in a neighbourhood you like. Drag yourself out of bed, forget the writing and just get out of the house. Fresh air and exercise can do wonders, even if it's hell to get started. I had to do that today because I was just sitting here, staring at my screen, and getting nothing. I walked for over an hour. I still don't have any ideas, but I feel like I'm a lot closer than if I'd continued to just sit here stressing my brain. Plus I was able to pick up my dry-cleaning and a new lunchbox for my son so, win-win. Anyways, best.
Oh, and I'm a perfectionist. You know what's good for a perfectionist? Knitting!!! It's awesome! It's a craft where perfectionism really pays off. Each stitch can be glorious in it's perfection, and the feeling of finishing an item with zero flaws is... it's really inspiring and confidence building. I knit sometimes when I'm blocked up and it really clears your head. Just another idea. Keep trying things till something sticks, right?
Seriously, you will LOVE knitting! (and you get clothes out of it so, win-win!)
GUESS WHO JUST WROTE A SLOPPY, 25 PAGE SKELETON DRAFT OF ALPHABOY?!?!?!
Thanks Harmony! To explain what I've done, I basically wrote a 25 page synopsis of the story, which I can build upon with full-fledged drafts. I'm kind of let down that I couldn't fully express the story with all the bells and whistles, but at least I got the bare essentials down.
I'm in the same sorta boat. I love my ideas, but I get stuck on prose, dialogue, what's the best way to approach it, really. Sometimes the magic happens and it all just comes together, but then sometimes I just draw a blank or hate it. I actually spent part of the day looking into a writing course so I might go back to school soon, and reading books on the subject have helped immensely.
One of the worst things I think I did, which costed me a lot of time and made my writing worse, is that I didn't read as much when I started writing. I was worried about accidentally stealing ideas, or subconsciously storing other people's ideas away and then thinking they were mine. But I was wrong. Reading more helps me write better and my ideas are pretty unique... sort of.
The last thing I wrote (and am currently tweaking) was inspired by Summer Thunder and it is about an apocalypse, but it was also based on a nightmare I had a long time ago, so it's pretty different from King's story.
Keep writing, and especially reading, and have fun. Did you go on an adventure?
One of the worst things I think I did, which costed me a lot of time and made my writing worse, is that I didn't read as much when I started writing. I was worried about accidentally stealing ideas, or subconsciously storing other people's ideas away and then thinking they were mine. But I was wrong. Reading more helps me write better and my ideas are pretty unique... sort of.
The last thing I wrote (and am currently tweaking) was inspired by Summer Thunder and it is about an apocalypse, but it was also based on a nightmare I had a long time ago, so it's pretty different from King's story.
Keep writing, and especially reading, and have fun. Did you go on an adventure?
I, too, worry about originality, Harmony. If my ideas sound familiar to some earlier work, I try to find something within those ideas that make them stand out and be truly original. It's not the tropes, it's what you do with them.
Cool.
You know, when I originally conceived of my first novel, Redesigning Eva, I started with a simple premise. Believe it or not, I was inspired by an old episode of Dexter's Laboratory that aired on Boomerang one night, towards the end of eight grade, right when I was getting ready for high school. I took me several years just to get some skeleton down for the story. It kept mutating on me, even when I was writing the initial draft.
Some of my ideas start with a question. In the case of Eva, it was this: "What if a Molly Ringwald (circa '86) volunteered for a human experiment that goes horribly wrong?" When I began writing the skeleton of it, I discovered some stuff. Eva isn't a typical Ringwald heroine: she's legitimately depressed, and arguably a little suicidal. She's haunted by her mother's death, isolates herself from her father, is ostracized by her peers, and is generally struggling to find some reason, however minute, to live.
You know, when I originally conceived of my first novel, Redesigning Eva, I started with a simple premise. Believe it or not, I was inspired by an old episode of Dexter's Laboratory that aired on Boomerang one night, towards the end of eight grade, right when I was getting ready for high school. I took me several years just to get some skeleton down for the story. It kept mutating on me, even when I was writing the initial draft.
Some of my ideas start with a question. In the case of Eva, it was this: "What if a Molly Ringwald (circa '86) volunteered for a human experiment that goes horribly wrong?" When I began writing the skeleton of it, I discovered some stuff. Eva isn't a typical Ringwald heroine: she's legitimately depressed, and arguably a little suicidal. She's haunted by her mother's death, isolates herself from her father, is ostracized by her peers, and is generally struggling to find some reason, however minute, to live.
Another thing about the character of Eva is her unusual "gift" (or "curse", in her words). She's able to psychologically step into the shoes of other people, even viewpoints that might frighten or disgust her. It's part of the reason she wants to become a forensic psychologist. However, despite this knack for getting into heads, she can barely bring herself to socialize with others, not even her father, who's trying to get her out of her shell. She's also horrified by the prospects that she could become as sick as the monsters that she pursues.
Here's the image that started it all, in my mind:
In retrospect, I think it fits the storyline I have. She may have been gifted with a new body, but Eva's psychological troubles remain. I imagine Eva now, vigorously scrubbing herself in the shower, trying to get rid of the invisible bloodstains that come with her "curse".
Here's the image that started it all, in my mind:
In retrospect, I think it fits the storyline I have. She may have been gifted with a new body, but Eva's psychological troubles remain. I imagine Eva now, vigorously scrubbing herself in the shower, trying to get rid of the invisible bloodstains that come with her "curse".
Connor, I've just moved your posts from the Cantina to your Self Promotion thread as they contained information from your story. It's just a policy we have to follow on the advice of Stephen's lawyers so that he doesn't accidentally read unpublished works.Another thing about the character of Eva is her unusual "gift" (or "curse", in her words). She's able to psychologically step into the shoes of other people, even viewpoints that might frighten or disgust her. It's part of the reason she wants to become a forensic psychologist. However, despite this knack for getting into heads, she can barely bring herself to socialize with others, not even her father, who's trying to get her out of her shell. She's also horrified by the prospects that she could become as sick as the monsters that she pursues.
Here's the image that started it all, in my mind:
In retrospect, I think it fits the storyline I have. She may have been gifted with a new body, but Eva's psychological troubles remain. I imagine Eva now, vigorously scrubbing herself in the shower, trying to get rid of the invisible bloodstains that come with her "curse".