Crushed and Terrified

[Anduan Pirate Princess]

Bless all of you, your words are making me cry because I'm so touched. Thank you a million times. This has been the longest day, and I'm going to try and sleep now.

Gosh, it almost seems like I could be making all this up. Here I am, still pretty much a newbie, and I don't post that regularly, and then bam! The cat was sick, my husband was traveling for an interview, then we were moving, and now I'm getting divorced. All in less than two weeks. I really wish I was making it up, honestly. But you all are so wonderful, and I send many hugs back to you. not_nadine I will keep posting, thank you so much for being concerned. I'm at my parents house for the night, and they are being so supportive.
Gratefully yours,
Eileen

 

[skimom2]

Every possible good thought coming your way, sweetness. Though this is devastating now, you will get through it, and life will feel good again. Lean on your lovely parents, know we are always with you (and in so many time zones that someone is almost always up if you need a chat), and be grateful that you found out before you were completely uprooted.

Every hug in my arms for you, Eileen.

 

[Kurben]

I am worthless at these sort of things.... But if you need a hug you got one. A bearhug from Sweden. And if you need a shoulder to cry on i'm here as i think the whole KaTet are. I think there were some good advice here. All i can offer is my support. I am very sorry.
Many hugs to you!

 

[FlakeNoir]

Anduan Pirate Princess, I do not know what to say, how utterly devastating for you, I am so sorry. You have my best wishes and I am sending (((you))) hugs from afar. Please check in often to let us know how you're doing.

 

[danie]

Eileen

 

[hipmamajen]

I'm so sorry, that's a huge amount of chaos and heartbreak to deal with all at once. It will get better, I promise it will, but it will be a bumpy ride for a while.

Sending love and hugs to help keep you stocked up. You are strong enough to make it through all this, and some day it will make sense. Until then, lean as much as you want.

 

[Grandpa]

Oh, everyone, I can't thank you enough for all the wonderful words. Today I am just a crying mess, but luckily I have the two best parents in the world that are here for me. It will be hard because I'm an only child, and I don't have many close friends at all because I tend to be an introvert. I can't help but feel it's going to be a long, lonely road. Thanks again. You have no idea how much it means to me to have people on my side thinking good thoughts.

I'm so sorry, Princess.

I'm an only child and introvert too. The empathetic things that i can offer are that as an only child, you know how to make yourself happy. You're good at introspection, so use that analysis to form your direction forward. Give yourself time to get past the terrible feelings of the moment. You're entitled to them, they're natural, but just understand that they're there, affecting your decisions, as you plow ahead through this tough time.

And then also as an only child, and introverted, far more people love you than you're willing to admit to yourself. I know. I've been there. The support and love that will come your way will astound you.

My daughter remembers advice I gave her when she divorced, and she believes in it so much that she passed it on to her older brother when his marriage dissolved: The best revenge is to live well.

I have other things to offer, but not now. For now, all the best of healing times to you.

 

[Neesy]

I need some good vibes, please. It feels like a thousand years ago that I posted saying we were moving to Florida soon. Well, last night my husband came home and dropped a bomb on me. He said he hasn't been happy in a long time, and that he does not want to be married anymore. He doesn't want to drag us both miles away from family and friends if we're going to keep on being miserable. He left the house last night, and is planning on finding a mediator on Monday. I have never broken up with anyone before; he was my first love and we've been together for sixteen years; married for nearly ten. Our tenth anniversary would have been July 28. We got married right out of college, when we were 24.

I'm so confused, and afraid. I admit we have major personality differences that caused problems once in awhile, but I never thought it would come to this. I also can't imagine facing the world alone from now on.

If this post is inappropriate, I apologize. I could just use some hugs.

Damn - what a shocker

All I can say to you is that I have been through a terrible break up myself - you will survive and move on. Right now you are in a terrible "head -space" (sorry for the 70s terminology) but things will get better.

So sorry Anduan Pirate Princess (hugs and prayers for you being sent).

Treat yourself to a massage or pamper yourself in some way - it won't change things, but physically you might feel better ((((pirateprincess))))


Edit:

Spoiler

Just stole this from GNTLGNT (it seemed appropriate for the thread)

p.s. 34 is very young! Keep your chin up and know that things will get better

 

[80sFan]

I don't know what to say except I am very sorry you are going through this

 

[Anduan Pirate Princess]

I continue to thank you all so much. I was able to find some peace tonight when I had yet another visit and went out to dinner with my parents. I actually felt like eating for the first time in two days. I'm hoping to get some restful sleep tonight (the last two nights have been tough). I'm not looking forward to work tomorrow because I'll have to tell everyone, but for now, I really am feeling a sense of peacefulness that I can only attribute to all the good wishes coming my way, especially from here. Thank you all so much for the comforting words and songs, and for opening up about your own experiences. The more amazing people I know that have overcome things like this in their lives, the better. I'm trying not to focus on the minutia and just breathe and believe that it really will be all right in time. I am definitely planning on connecting with a counselor and/or support group soon.

I'm so sorry, Princess.

I'm an only child and introvert too. The empathetic things that i can offer are that as an only child, you know how to make yourself happy. You're good at introspection, so use that analysis to form your direction forward. Give yourself time to get past the terrible feelings of the moment. You're entitled to them, they're natural, but just understand that they're there, affecting your decisions, as you plow ahead through this tough time.

And then also as an only child, and introverted, far more people love you than you're willing to admit to yourself. I know. I've been there. The support and love that will come your way will astound you.

My daughter remembers advice I gave her when she divorced, and she believes in it so much that she passed it on to her older brother when his marriage dissolved: The best revenge is to live well.

I have other things to offer, but not now. For now, all the best of healing times to you.

Thank you for these words, Grandpa! You are so right about there being more people who love me than I give myself credit for. It will be so important for me to remember that as I reach out to friends and family in the future.

(((so many hugs to all of you)))

 

[Blake]

Just try to remain busy and maybe stay with your parents for the time being. Time heals.

 

[no bounce no play]

(((APP))) I'm so sorry your world has turned upside down but I'm glad your parents are supportive and helping you pull through it all How did work go? Did everyone tell you they always knew he was no good and a better life is ahead of you?

 

[Anduan Pirate Princess]

(((APP))) I'm so sorry your world has turned upside down but I'm glad your parents are supportive and helping you pull through it all How did work go? Did everyone tell you they always knew he was no good and a better life is ahead of you?

Thank you for asking. Well, I tried to hold it together, but as soon as I got in and sat at my boss's desk to explain things, I just broke down. Luckily, we're an office of women, so everyone rallied around me and were (are) so supportive. Yes, they are very angry with him on my behalf, and they also want to get me out for drinks and on an online dating service right away, haha!
I did make an appointment with my doctor so he can refer me to a counselor, because no matter how many understanding people I have around me, I can't expect them to keep being there every time I break down crying and have my moments of fear. I know this process of grieving will be long, and I'm already impatient with myself for not being able to get through the days without several boughts of sobbing. I'm very afraid and uncertain about my money situation in the future. Obviously, it will never be the safe, but I was very fortunate enough to have a false sense of security for a long time. He makes more than double what I do.

 

[king family fan]

Thank you for asking. Well, I tried to hold it together, but as soon as I got in and sat at my boss's desk to explain things, I just broke down. Luckily, we're an office of women, so everyone rallied around me and were (are) so supportive. Yes, they are very angry with him on my behalf, and they also want to get me out for drinks and on an online dating service right away, haha!
I did make an appointment with my doctor so he can refer me to a counselor, because no matter how many understanding people I have around me, I can't expect them to keep being there every time I break down crying and have my moments of fear. I know this process of grieving will be long, and I'm already impatient with myself for not being able to get through the days without several boughts of sobbing. I'm very afraid and uncertain about my money situation in the future. Obviously, it will never be the safe, but I was very fortunate enough to have a false sense of security for a long time. He makes more than double what I do.

just allow yourself some time. You will do better than you think. These things are always very hard at first. Big Hugs.

 

[GNTLGNT]

Thank you for asking. Well, I tried to hold it together, but as soon as I got in and sat at my boss's desk to explain things, I just broke down. Luckily, we're an office of women, so everyone rallied around me and were (are) so supportive. Yes, they are very angry with him on my behalf, and they also want to get me out for drinks and on an online dating service right away, haha!
I did make an appointment with my doctor so he can refer me to a counselor, because no matter how many understanding people I have around me, I can't expect them to keep being there every time I break down crying and have my moments of fear. I know this process of grieving will be long, and I'm already impatient with myself for not being able to get through the days without several boughts of sobbing. I'm very afraid and uncertain about my money situation in the future. Obviously, it will never be the safe, but I was very fortunate enough to have a false sense of security for a long time. He makes more than double what I do.

...one task at a time.....one day at a time....one worry at a time....and ONE other thing....NEVER get impatient with yourself!!!.....you have a process to go through and the heart rules the mind in this case.....

 

[DiO'Bolic]

So sorry APP. Never know what to say about a heartbreak... so I just usually post someone else's advice that seems sound.

The Best Letter Anyone Going Through a Divorce Could Ever Read - WorldLifestyle

 

[danie]

So sorry APP. Never know what to say about a heartbreak... so I just usually post someone else's advice that seems sound.

The Best Letter Anyone Going Through a Divorce Could Ever Read - WorldLifestyle

Very astute advice given in that article.

 

[osnafrank]

 

[Anduan Pirate Princess]

Wow, DiO'Bolic, reading that helped a LOT. I actually did start Googling stuff about divorce and the grieving process earlier today, too, and even thought I originally thought doing that would make me feel worse, it IS very comforting to hear so many others' stories. Just as it is comforting to hear the wonderful words that you all keep giving me. Tonight, I am feeling strong. I know there will be a lot of back and forth with my emotions going forward, and I have to keep reminding myself that this is only Day 4 since the bomb was dropped, but in this moment I feel like I can do this.

All I can keep saying to ALL of you is THANK YOU, and I'm sending many grateful (((HUGS)))

 

[CYRUS]

Oh, everyone, I can't thank you enough for all the wonderful words. Today I am just a crying mess, but luckily I have the two best parents in the world that are here for me. It will be hard because I'm an only child, and I don't have many close friends at all because I tend to be an introvert. I can't help but feel it's going to be a long, lonely road. Thanks again. You have no idea how much it means to me to have people on my side thinking good thoughts.

I know this might not help but as bad off as you think you are in the marriage and relationship department, You had some good years and that more then many people get. In my case I've never been able sustain any kind of relationship. i had one girl I went out with for 3 years and that one came to naught because neither one of us really connected. 3 blind dates 2 with no second dates , one was a girl was I supposed to meet at a party, she never even bothered showed up, (her mother a very nice person apologized profusely for this). The one that I regret the most was meeting the girl who was the one and walking away from her. The strange thing about that moment was I swear I heard wind chimes. That's one moments in my life that I wish I could have back . But I don't dwell on these things, there is no gain and no point, I moved on. I don't let theses things get me down. You have be positive no matter what life throws at you.