Depression, suicide. How is everyone?

[hipmamajen]

There is a lot of discussion today about Robin Williams and his tragic death. I didn't want to hijack that thread, but I do want to check in with everyone.

Mental illness is so very difficult to understand if you haven't lived it or lived really close to it. You rely on your brain to keep track of everything you need to know, and that generally works. So, if your brain is telling you that you are worthless, or life will never get better, or that getting on a bus to Las Vegas and putting all your money on one roll of the dice is a good idea...well, you don't immediately question that any more than you would question your brain telling you that fire is hot so don't touch it.

Sometimes people offer advice that isn't very helpful. "Cheer up!" they say, or "Just get yourself together." Most people wouldn't presume to tell a person with a broken leg that they just need to nut up and get back to jogging. But, people with mental illnesses are basically told the equivalent of looking at your diabetic friend and saying, "You can't take insulin, that will change who you are! Can't you just be less diabetic? Have you really TRIED to just keep your blood sugar in a good range by concentrating on all the good things in life?"

And, as was mentioned in the Robin Williams thread, you are sometimes judged if you share your story with people, or ask for help. When it has taken someone a while to realize they need some help, and then they're shut down when they ask, it can derail getting care for a long time.

I was hospitalized for depression and self-harm in high school. More than once. It's taken me a long time to get to where I am on a good mix of medications and functioning. Even so, it's not always easy to get through each day, but it's possible, which is a big step up.

Reading about other people's struggle can be very inspiring. And reading about a loss like Robin Williams can be a trigger for one's own demons.

How is everyone doing? Does anyone need or want to talk? Where are you on your own path through life? You'll get no judgment from me, and unless the SKMB Family has been replaced by Pod People, you'll find a huge amount of compassion and strength here.

(((((SKMB)))))

 

[Riot87]

I used to get really depressed alot but ever since i had my daughter all i have to do to cheer up is play with her.

 

[skimom2]

This has been a hard day, to be honest. You're exactly right--the hole in the world seems bigger and more attractive after something like this, particularly when it seems like there's a connection with the one who lost the fight. I lost my brother to depression. My dad went six months later; same thing. I've fought that tiger for years, and I have a child who is just learning how horrible the monster can be. Though there's no identified link, no one will ever convince me that there isn't a genetic component, as well. Though you're essentially alone with this, it does help to know that there are people who really know what it means to feel that damn tired, right down to the bottom of your soul.

 

[BeverleyMarsh]

You're right it is embarassing to talk about. I wouldn't want to discuss it on a forum no matter how friendly and inviting the board is. I wouldn't want any trace of it. I could go on about a broken leg but not depression there's too much of a stigma attached to it.

 

[Lepplady]

A survivor of unspeakable childhood abuse, I self-harmed when I was much younger. I was a cutter and a burner. I'd heat up a the end of a straightened paperclip with a lighter and use that. I was hospitalized at one point and still fill prescriptions for antidepressants to this day. It's been many, many years, even decades, since I entertained thoughts of suicide or self-harm, and I'd like to say I'll never think like that again. But anybody who's had depression issues knows that it's not something you seek to think about. Sometimes, for no good reason at all, the depression monster can jump you from behind and have you wrestled to the mat before you know it's even there. So I enjoy my life without dwelling on the subject, but I remain ever vigilant to make sure that b@stard doesn't sucker-punch me. Like alcoholism or any addiction, you're never a "former" depression sufferer. It's something you're careful about, lest it repeat on you when you least expect it. The best you can do is... well, the best you can do.
I was shocked, saddened and dismayed yesterday and most of today. Losing Robin Williams was profound and impacting. The Pagliacci picture finally got me crying and ushered me along the path of grieving his loss. But I'm okay. Like the rest of the world, I feel like I lost a treasured friend. I miss him, and I see one hell of a movie-thon in my future.

Mostly, I cherish the love and laughter he gave the world. When the grieving subsides, that's the legacy we'll all remember.

 

[Grandpa]

I get depressed from time to time, and who doesn't, but the only suicidal ideation I've ever had has been associated with the potential some day of incapacitation and dependence. My few little depressive bouts, though, was some doggoned dark tunnels, and if someone is going through that chronically, I can readily see where it would lead them to do something that the rest of us don't want them to do.

Just before Robin Williams' death, I got some quite tragic news about a couple I know and admire, and there was a massive flurry of emails about, we've got to do something. It has been a dark couple days, no doubt.

 

[Lepplady]

You're right it is embarassing to talk about. I wouldn't want to discuss it on a forum no matter how friendly and inviting the board is. I wouldn't want any trace of it. I could go on about a broken leg but not depression there's too much of a stigma attached to it.

If a person has a broken leg, they get it fixed. Same thing for any emotional disorder. If it's broken, get it fixed. That's how I think the world should look at mental and emotional problems. Sadly, I don't think we're there yet.

 

[BeverleyMarsh]

If a person has a broken leg, they get it fixed. Same thing for any emotional disorder. If it's broken, get it fixed. That's how I think the world should look at mental and emotional problems. Sadly, I don't think we're there yet.

I agree but unfortunately you're right, we're not there yet. Far from it. In my last job the jokes that were getting the best response were about the receptionist who was suffering from depression. It had become common knowledge that she was ill since the day where she missed her duty to get the office milk because she was parked in a lay by. She'd stopped on her way to work, she didn't feel she could go any further that morning. She rang our boss and explained. And the boss felt it her duty to inform pretty much the whole of the company as if it was the juiciest bit of gossip she'd ever heard. She was known from that day as " Lay by Jill" .How would you feel if you were suffering from depression yourself in that type of environment? You just couldn't talk about it.

 

[hipmamajen]

Oh, what a horrible thing for that boss to do!

 

[BeverleyMarsh]

Oh, what a horrible thing for that boss to do!

I know but what was shocking too is that it seemed accepted by the staff too. They'd say things like: " Oh, there's no more milk, is Jill feeling alright today?" and laugh. The general consensus was that nobody wants to go work yet we have to, and it's a bit easy to say you're depressed.

 

[FlakeNoir]

^^Horrible...

 

[BeverleyMarsh]

Robin Williams dead: Fox news anchor Shepard Smith apologises for calling actor 'a coward' after apparent suicide - News - People - The Independent

This sort of ignorance is what people with depression have to deal with ...

 

[FlakeNoir]

Robin Williams dead: Fox news anchor Shepard Smith apologises for calling actor 'a coward' after apparent suicide - News - People - The Independent

This sort of ignorance is what people with depression have to deal with ...

Thoughtless, ignorant comments... and just hurtful.

 

[Spideyman]

Robin Williams dead: Fox news anchor Shepard Smith apologises for calling actor 'a coward' after apparent suicide - News - People - The Independent

This sort of ignorance is what people with depression have to deal with ...

The apology was too little too late. His remarks were uncalled for and hurtful to others--especially Robin's family.

 

[hipmamajen]

Robin Williams dead: Fox news anchor Shepard Smith apologises for calling actor 'a coward' after apparent suicide - News - People - The Independent

This sort of ignorance is what people with depression have to deal with ...

You're exactly right, he was speaking from a place of ignorance.

I am always glad to come across someone else who really understands mental illness. Even if we're not "off" in the same way, it's a relief to be talking to someone and realize that they know where I'm coming from.

 

[Sigmund]

Nice thread. Thank you.

Depression and the co-morbidity of other disorders. Usually the gamut of anxiety disorders (GAD, SAD, panic disorder, etc.) as well as OCD, PTSD, agoraphobia, eating disorders and so on.

Addiction(s) are common-trying to self-medicate. Then the addiction becomes another problem that causes guilt and shame. Crud.

It has always amazed and dismayed me when people judge people who suicide like that was their first and favorite choice. People who suicide are not being selfish. In fact, they are being selfless. Trying to spare their spouse, children, family the *burden* of having a sick/depressed family member.

Maybe some *good* can come of Mr. Williams death. Awareness, information, and understanding.

Peace.

 

[hipmamajen]

Thank you, Sigmund.

 

[SutterKane]

I've been down enough to admit I may have considered it. Even today, I'm certainly not a ray of sunshine, truth be told. I think I eventually reached a point, after my divorce, my Ex taking my daughter to the other side of the country out of pure spite, almost going to prison on a drug charge after I had already quit, and being stabbed in the back by just about everyone I depended on, that I'm too cynical to be out and out depressed anymore. I basically expect that what can go wrong, will go wrong. When it does, I'm not surprised, and when it doesn't I'm grateful. That might not be the most positive way to go about life, but it works for me.

The post up top about the guy on Fox who took that final parting shot at Robin Williams?? It's doesn't surprise me, there are many in the world who have no sympathy for the next mans troubles. You can never assume to know what somebody else is dealing with. It's the main reason I try and be as nice to the people I come across day to day as possible. Just something little like showing them the proper respect could provide the ray of light they need on a cloudy day, and it doesn't cost anything to treat people right.

 

[Walter Oobleck]

For the thing which I greatly feared is come upon me,
and that which I was afraid of is come unto me.
I was not in safety, neither had I rest, neither was I quiet;
yet trouble came.
The Book of Job

William Styron's memoir Darkness Visible is an illuminating read...its only saving grace: it is conquerable. He writes, "it is of great importance that those who are suffering a siege, perhaps for the first time, be told--be convinced rather--that the illness will run its course and that they will pull through." Todash. A brainstorm. This is illuminating: "A phenomenon that a number of people have noted while in deep depression is the sense of being accompanied by a second self--a wrath-like observer, who not sharing the dementia of his double, is able to watch with dispassionate curiosity as his companion struggles against the oncoming disaster, or decides to embrace it." Styron says that he "couldn't shake off a sense of melodrama--a melodrama in which I, the victim-to-be of self-murder, was both the solitary actor and lone member of the audience." Too...I've seen this described by a number of writers in a variety of ways...so on for forth and scoobie doobie do.

His Lie Down in Darkness is another illuminating story.

 

[Kurben]

I have deopression in the family so know how tough this can be. Luckily i don't seem so afflicted as my father who had it rather specially in the darker months. Then it was reading and wine that help. I've had bad experience, last spring i actually, damned everything, didn't eat much, didn't wash either clouds or myselfes and didn't pay bills. Didn't have a work either at that point. Never heard somneone to tell me to end thou. But since he told me to ignoire bills it wasn't exactly a successconcept. I somehow got out of it after at for the first daring to mention it to a friend. He took it serious but just being able to talk to someone made it slowly go away. Not im paying the (sigh...) bills and doing the rest too, Got the find the time for making the apartment see decent again. Otherwise i'm OK now. Got the job in January doing what im good at (and somethings that are not my faves but a man gotta do what man gotta do, right?) And the I meet yo guys... I'm not the obly one thats reads and loves King. First time i been around such a big gathering of pewople who can discuss different oppinions withot getting too heated. Thanks Bunch.