God Bomb--a Place For Prayers/positive Vibes

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morgan

Well-Known Member
Jul 11, 2010
29,353
104,579
North Dakota
Well, I wasn't going post anything about this, but I am completely unraveling and could use any prayers and positive thoughts anyone has to spare. Sadie took a really bad turn last night. I was on my way to take her to the emergency on-call vet. Didn't end up going because the ultrasound test she needs wasn't considered an "emergency." She was so restless and miserable, had so much bladder pressure and was passing a lot of blood. She wouldn't stop panting. I ended up increasing her pain meds and she did settle down and was more rested afterward. Today has not been very good either. I'm going to call her regular vet right away in the morning to see if she can do the ultrasound tomorrow. I haven't verbalized what the fear/worst case scenario is for Sadie because I didn't want it to be real. Plus, she's too old for surgery and is already on all the meds for it anyway. Up until now, I just felt that knowing for sure would cause me so much anguish and anxiety that she would suffer from my negative energy. Since she is declining rapidly, I need to have all the facts now. They think she has bladder cancer-a tumor in her bladder. I will find out tomorrow (or as soon as her vet can do the test) how big it is and what we're dealing with. By her behavior this weekend, I suspect it's pretty big already. If I don't intervene, it will get so big that she eventually won't be able to urinate at all. I will not let her suffer like that. So my worst fear looks unavoidable, I will have to decide to put her to sleep. Maybe even tomorrow, but definitely very soon the way things are going. My heart feels like it's being ripped out of my chest. I've been crying since yesterday-my eyes are practically swollen shut. I guess I would ask for you to pray for me to have the strength to get through this-to be strong for her. And pray that she will have a reprieve from the discomfort until I can talk to her vet in the morning. I am trying so hard not to cry. I don't want her to feel my sorrow. How am I supposed to cope with this when I feel I am just waiting for the inevitable. I keep picturing it in my head and I can't breathe.
 
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FlakeNoir

Original Kiwi© SKMB®
Moderator
Apr 11, 2006
44,082
175,641
New Zealand
Well, I wasn't going post anything about this, but I am completely unraveling and could use any prayers and positive thoughts anyone has to spare. Sadie took a really bad turn last night. I was on my way to take her to the emergency on-call vet. Didn't end up going because the ultrasound test she needs wasn't considered an "emergency." She was so restless and miserable, had so much bladder pressure and was passing a lot of blood. She wouldn't stop panting. I ended up increasing her pain meds and she did settle down and was more rested afterward. Today has not been very good either. I'm going to call her regular vet right away in the morning to see if she can do the ultrasound tomorrow. I haven't verbalized what the fear/worst case scenario is for Sadie because I didn't want it to be real. Plus, she's too old for surgery and is already on all the meds for it anyway. Up until now, I just felt that knowing for sure would cause me so much anguish and anxiety that she would suffer from my negative energy. Since she is declining rapidly, I need to have all the facts now. They think she has bladder cancer-a tumor in her bladder. I will find out tomorrow (or as soon as her vet can do the test) how big it is and what we're dealing with. By her behavior this weekend, I suspect it's pretty big already. If I don't intervene, it will get so big that she eventually won't be able to urinate at all. I will not let her suffer like that. So my worst fear looks unavoidable, I will have to decide to put her to sleep. Maybe even tomorrow, but definitely very soon the way things are going. My heart feels like it's being ripped out of my chest. I've been crying since yesterday-my eyes are practically swollen shut. I guess I would ask for you to pray for me to have the strength to get through this-to be strong for her. And pray that she will have a reprieve from the discomfort until I can talk to her vet in the morning. I am trying so hard not to cry. I don't want her to feel my sorrow. How am I supposed to cope with this when I feel I am just waiting for the inevitable. I keep picturing it in my head and I can't breathe.
:down: ((( morgan ))) I'm crying for you and (((Sadie.))) Every dog I've had I have lost to tumours, I can feel what your heart is going through.
I am so sorry, and wish that I could take away your pain... and hers--and make it all better.
Forget everything else for now, just hold her and spend every minute that you can loving her... everything else can wait.

♥ ♥ ♥
 

morgan

Well-Known Member
Jul 11, 2010
29,353
104,579
North Dakota
:down: ((( morgan ))) I'm crying for you and (((Sadie.))) Every dog I've had I have lost to tumours, I can feel what your heart is going through.
I am so sorry, and wish that I could take away your pain... and hers--and make it all better.
Forget everything else for now, just hold her and spend every minute that you can loving her... everything else can wait.

♥ ♥ ♥
I wish she'd let me hold her! She only lets me when we're at the vet's office. I have to take her outside every 15 minutes because the pressure's so bad. Thanks so much to you and DJ for your compassion. A lot of people don't understand how much a dog can be loved and considered a part of your family. Especially when you don't have human children. Sadie is my whole world.
 

Dana Jean

Dirty Pirate Hooker, The Return
Moderator
Apr 11, 2006
53,634
236,697
The High Seas
I wish she'd let me hold her! She only lets me when we're at the vet's office. I have to take her outside every 15 minutes because the pressure's so bad. Thanks so much to you and DJ for your compassion. A lot of people don't understand how much a dog can be loved and considered a part of your family. Especially when you don't have human children. Sadie is my whole world.
I know.
 

Spideyman

Uber Member
Jul 10, 2006
46,336
195,472
79
Just north of Duma Key
Dear Morgan- I write with tears in my eyes- I feel so much for you and Sadie. You know I care for critters and have been oh so many more times than my heart can deal with-- in the place you are now with Sadie.

I hold to many prayers to St. Francis, as well as sending positive healing vibes. I am manifesting only the best for you both. Especially guidance and inner peace for you.

Morgan- here is something you may desire to read- to help in any way that it might. It is sad to read, but the message is strong.I pray for you and Sadie with all my strength.

The Last Battle
If it should be that I grow frail and weak
And pain should keep me from my sleep,
Then will you do what must be done,
For this — the last battle — can't be won.
You will be sad I understand,
But don't let grief then stay your hand,
For on this day, more than the rest,
Your love and friendship must stand the test.

We have had so many happy years,
You wouldn't want me to suffer so.
When the time comes, please, let me go.
Take me to where to my needs they'll tend,
Only, stay with me till the end
And hold me firm and speak to me
Until my eyes no longer see.

I know in time you will agree
It is a kindness you do to me.
Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering I have been saved.
Don't grieve that it must be you
Who has to decide this thing to do;
We've been so close — we two — these years,
Don't let your heart hold any tears.

— Unknown
 

FlakeNoir

Original Kiwi© SKMB®
Moderator
Apr 11, 2006
44,082
175,641
New Zealand
I wish she'd let me hold her! She only lets me when we're at the vet's office. I have to take her outside every 15 minutes because the pressure's so bad. Thanks so much to you and DJ for your compassion. A lot of people don't understand how much a dog can be loved and considered a part of your family. Especially when you don't have human children. Sadie is my whole world.
I understand.... xox
 

morgan

Well-Known Member
Jul 11, 2010
29,353
104,579
North Dakota
I'm so, so sorry morgan. I've been where you are and it just breaks your heart. I wish our loved pets could live as long as we do but then we wouldn't have the joy of loving so many of them. Does that make any sense?
Yes, it makes complete sense. They don't have human lifespans. I will never have another dog, though. My entire heart and soul belongs to Sadie and my heart could NEVER go through all of this again. People say I'll change my mind someday. But I know myself, and I absolutely won't.
 

morgan

Well-Known Member
Jul 11, 2010
29,353
104,579
North Dakota
I'm so, so sorry morgan. I've been where you are and it just breaks your heart. I wish our loved pets could live as long as we do but then we wouldn't have the joy of loving so many of them. Does that make any sense?
I'm sorry for being so caught up in my grief that I didn't ask for an update on you and your mom! Please forgive my insensitivity, my sorrow is taking a toll on my brain.
 

morgan

Well-Known Member
Jul 11, 2010
29,353
104,579
North Dakota