Grudges

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Srbo

Srbo

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Mar 23, 2008
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I mean simple grudges, you know, a fight, a misunderstanding, a little fall-out, nothing big and life changing...
Do you hold them at all, or for a very long time or forever?

I don`t, I get upset and angry pretty fast, but after five minutes, I`m OK again.
It is very easy for me to forgive a person, the hard thing is to trust again.

How about you?
Love and lights. :)
 
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Grandpa

Grandpa

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I'm not going to let some jerk control how I feel. So I don't carry grudges. I say that from a position of safety, because I haven't had anyone do anything really awful, not that I can think of.

I do learn, though, and am not going to give a given person too many chances to do ill toward me or mine.

I'm not sure if I'm making that clear. Example: If someone does wrong toward me in a business sense, while I would say I don't hold a grudge, I probably will not do business with them again, just based on the old "Fool me once..." principle.

However, that difference - grudge vs. learning experience - may not be distinguishable to an onlooker.
 
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rockerchick

rockerchick

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Aug 21, 2009
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Srbo said:
I mean simple grudges, you know, a fight, a misunderstanding, a little fall-out, nothing big and life changing...
Do you hold them at all, or for a very long time or forever?

I don`t, I get upset and angry pretty fast, but after five minutes, I`m OK again.
It is very easy for me to forgive a person, the hard thing is to trust again.

How about you?
Love and lights. :)
Click to expand...
A grudge uses up so much of your time and energy. Will Smith once said, "Hate in your heart will consume you too."
 
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Religiously_Unkind

Religiously_Unkind

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Aug 19, 2017
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Srbo said:
I mean simple grudges, you know, a fight, a misunderstanding, a little fall-out, nothing big and life changing...
Do you hold them at all, or for a very long time or forever?

I don`t, I get upset and angry pretty fast, but after five minutes, I`m OK again.
It is very easy for me to forgive a person, the hard thing is to trust again.

How about you?
Love and lights. :)
Click to expand...

I hold a grudge against my dad for disowning me, he threw me over so he could make his ugly psychotic new wife happy and that still stings me when I think about it.
 
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doowopgirl

doowopgirl

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Aug 7, 2009
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It took me a long time to learn holding a grudge really only hurts me. I had a hard time learning to let go and learn from it. Like I went through a lot of crap with my sister. She is never going to apologize and I accept that. As long as she is happy she won't poop on me. But I don't trust her further than I could sling a piano. There are other examples, but that pretty much sums it up.
 
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SusanNorton

SusanNorton

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Jul 12, 2006
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I'm forgiving to a fault. But when I'm done, it's forever.

Seventeen+ years ago, the woman delivering my Chinese food decided to comment on the fact that I was bottle-feeding my newborn. I'd just been through hell trying to breast feed, seeing lactation specialists, taking brewer's yeast, etc., to the point where the pediatrician said my daughter wasn't getting the nutrition she needed and that I would need to bottle feed. So I answer the door, exhausted, puffy-eyed from crying, and feeling like a failure, to this permed homunculus who decided to question my feeding choices (which were obvious since I answered the door holding the baby and bottle). I NEVER ORDERED CHINESE FROM THEM AGAIN. EVER. A PLAGUE ON THEIR BUSINESS.
 
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Blake

Blake

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Feb 18, 2013
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I pretty much forget things pretty fast. If I feel like I've been given rude or really bad service somewhere I won't take my business back, if I can help it. It has to be something that really hits the core of your personality of who you are. Like, I was watching the football on Saturday night and I was talking to this older guy(who was also a Roosters supporter) and there was a try given to the Cowboys(but it wasn't a try because the ball touched the ingoal touchline) anyway I said to the guy, "I reckon that's not a try. I reckon we're getting ripped-off." Anyway there was this young guy sitting close and says, "I reckon you know nothing." Now, first he interrupted our conversation and also got in my face. I forgot about this. About one hour later(true story) I feel a pain just above my belly-button and look down and someone had thrown a twenty-cent coin at me, pretty hard because it stung, but I looked up but I couldn't see anyone. Now there were drunk people worse than me and it could have been someone else, some entirely unrelated matter, so I didn't even care about it. I think some mentally ill people could hold grudges but you should always go by the books and use the legal system because if you start getting personal you end up in trouble. My ex-wife tried to get personal and I had to get an AVO and take go to the solictor and sit down in mediation.
 
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jacobtlong

jacobtlong

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Jun 13, 2008
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There is one person I will hold a grudge against forever more than likely. I don't let it control my life, but if they ever need help from me again they'll get a slammed door in their face.

Other than that I forgive quite easily. I just don't quite forget... depending on the circumstances, that is.
 
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grin willard

grin willard

"Keep the change, you filthy animal!"
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Srbo

Srbo

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Mar 23, 2008
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SusanNorton said:
I'm forgiving to a fault. But when I'm done, it's forever.

Seventeen+ years ago, the woman delivering my Chinese food decided to comment on the fact that I was bottle-feeding my newborn. I'd just been through hell trying to breast feed, seeing lactation specialists, taking brewer's yeast, etc., to the point where the pediatrician said my daughter wasn't getting the nutrition she needed and that I would need to bottle feed. So I answer the door, exhausted, puffy-eyed from crying, and feeling like a failure, to this permed homunculus who decided to question my feeding choices (which were obvious since I answered the door holding the baby and bottle). I NEVER ORDERED CHINESE FROM THEM AGAIN. EVER. A PLAGUE ON THEIR BUSINESS.
Click to expand...

WTF?
The nerve in some people.
Of course you got upset to no end, that is simply terrible.
Yeah, almost anything can be straightened out....as long as my kid is not hurt or there are comments like that.
Really horrible.
 
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Srbo

Srbo

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Mar 23, 2008
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Canada
Grandpa said:
I'm not going to let some jerk control how I feel. So I don't carry grudges. I say that from a position of safety, because I haven't had anyone do anything really awful, not that I can think of.

I do learn, though, and am not going to give a given person too many chances to do ill toward me or mine.

I'm not sure if I'm making that clear. Example: If someone does wrong toward me in a business sense, while I would say I don't hold a grudge, I probably will not do business with them again, just based on the old "Fool me once..." principle.

However, that difference - grudge vs. learning experience - may not be distinguishable to an onlooker.
Click to expand...

Good for you, you are one of the are ones then...
 
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