Have you been a victim of 'Rudeness' lately?

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pegasus216

Eternal Members
Jun 20, 2013
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Delaware
When I was working retail, I remember this young girl, maybe mid 20's, came in the store. She was quite heavy, but had a beautiful face.
When she came to check out, I asked if I could tell her something. She gave me a expression that was saying, 'yeah say something about my weight'.
I told her she had such a beautiful face, and I hoped that she knew that! The smile that came on her face was priceless. I told her she must have all the boys after her. The smile got bigger! She said I had made her day!
hipmamjen reminded me of that.
 

HollyGolightly

Well-Known Member
Sep 6, 2013
9,660
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Heart of the South
I think that to echo what a lot are saying. This "Me" generation has gotten crazy. There is No consideration for the other person. Just gotta go that extra mile and do something that I not about one's self.
I think this too. That sense of entitlement. Sometimes I have to spout off at them. Well, really I just give them the stinkeye, but they know what I think of them. The town I live in, ish. It's rampant.
 

HollyGolightly

Well-Known Member
Sep 6, 2013
9,660
74,320
54
Heart of the South
There is definitely a big case of The Nasties going around.

The good thing is that you can really brighten someone's day by being nice. Even more than normal. You can just roll through life like a parade throwing rainbows and glitter instead of candy if you want to.

I suppose you could throw candy, too, if you wanted. That may get misinterpreted, though. Especially if you're driving a big creepy van. It's best to just share your happy attitude, if someone misinterprets that you can still rest well knowing you've done your best...
Very good! I know this is the right thing to do. Share the joy!
 

muskrat

Dis-Member
Nov 8, 2010
4,518
19,564
Under your bed
There is definitely a big case of The Nasties going around.

The good thing is that you can really brighten someone's day by being nice. Even more than normal. You can just roll through life like a parade throwing rainbows and glitter instead of candy if you want to.

I suppose you could throw candy, too, if you wanted. That may get misinterpreted, though. Especially if you're driving a big creepy van. It's best to just share your happy attitude, if someone misinterprets that you can still rest well knowing you've done your best...

Politeness and empathy are minor obsessions with me. I try hard to treat everyone, be they coworkers or strangers on the street, with respect, kindness, courtesy...I hold the door open for anybody who enters a store behind me, let people with less items go before me at the check out counter; always quick with a please, thank you, much obliged, etc. It fills me with a personal sense of satisfaction, and is my way of combatting the prevailing tide of rudeness all about us. Mama Muskrat taught her boy some manners, by golly.

Gotta be careful, though, especially in working environments, not to let others take advantage of your kindness. Some may mistake it for weakness, and think they can walk all over ya. When that happens, I set some boundaries right quick, and straighten the b-hole out.

It's a zen tightrope ya gotta walk sometimes, I tell yez...
 

danie

I am whatever you say I am.
Feb 26, 2008
9,760
60,662
60
Kentucky
When I was working retail, I remember this young girl, maybe mid 20's, came in the store. She was quite heavy, but had a beautiful face.
When she came to check out, I asked if I could tell her something. She gave me a expression that was saying, 'yeah say something about my weight'.
I told her she had such a beautiful face, and I hoped that she knew that! The smile that came on her face was priceless. I told her she must have all the boys after her. The smile got bigger! She said I had made her day!
hipmamjen reminded me of that.
This made me so happy to read, Peg!

Since I have been teaching middle school, I have found this age group of kids really thrives on compliments about their appearances. I try to praise them for their academic skills, creative thinking, making a good grade, etc., but the way to win them over and really make them want to work for me is to compliment them on their looks.

I make a point, especially with the shy girl, the boy with giant glasses, the girl who can't afford the clothes the others have, the guy who is going through that awkward pimply chunky phase, to stop them, look them in the eye and say, "Wow, you look great in that outfit." Or, "Your haircut really shows off your pretty eyes." Or, "It's not fair that you're a guy and you have those long eyelashes! Girls will be fighting to look into those some day!"

A couple months ago, a new girl moved to our school. She came in to my classroom, sullen, eyes downcast, a look of sadness mixed with apathy on her face. Her clothes were not the best; she was not studying or listening in class. She has long reddish hair, nearly down to her waist and perfect skin, and one day I told her that her skin was so pretty. She kind of looked at me from the corner of her eye. Several days later, I told her that I loved her hair, never get it cut. She actually smiled at me. "Wow," I said, "how beautiful you are when you smile!" The next week, we had some extra time right before the bell rang to go home. I complimented her hair again, and asked if I could "fishtail" (a kind of braid) it. She grinned and said sure. So I fixed her hair, took a picture, and the whole class made a huge big deal of how pretty she looked. The change in her attitude was almost immediate. Now she talks to me, she comes in the room smiling, eyes dancing with mystery. She answers questions in class and is making better grades. She said, "Ms. D, I can tell you care about me. The other teachers just lecture me on how I need to study and improve my attitude. I like coming to your class because you care about ME, not just how I perform for you."

I will never forget those words. So I try to find that one kid who needs a little boost and say something nice about them. It doesn't always work, but most of the time, that compliment makes all the difference.
 

Dana Jean

Dirty Pirate Hooker, The Return
Moderator
Apr 11, 2006
53,634
236,697
The High Seas
This made me so happy to read, Peg!

Since I have been teaching middle school, I have found this age group of kids really thrives on compliments about their appearances. I try to praise them for their academic skills, creative thinking, making a good grade, etc., but the way to win them over and really make them want to work for me is to compliment them on their looks.

I make a point, especially with the shy girl, the boy with giant glasses, the girl who can't afford the clothes the others have, the guy who is going through that awkward pimply chunky phase, to stop them, look them in the eye and say, "Wow, you look great in that outfit." Or, "Your haircut really shows off your pretty eyes." Or, "It's not fair that you're a guy and you have those long eyelashes! Girls will be fighting to look into those some day!"

A couple months ago, a new girl moved to our school. She came in to my classroom, sullen, eyes downcast, a look of sadness mixed with apathy on her face. Her clothes were not the best; she was not studying or listening in class. She has long reddish hair, nearly down to her waist and perfect skin, and one day I told her that her skin was so pretty. She kind of looked at me from the corner of her eye. Several days later, I told her that I loved her hair, never get it cut. She actually smiled at me. "Wow," I said, "how beautiful you are when you smile!" The next week, we had some extra time right before the bell rang to go home. I complimented her hair again, and asked if I could "fishtail" (a kind of braid) it. She grinned and said sure. So I fixed her hair, took a picture, and the whole class made a huge big deal of how pretty she looked. The change in her attitude was almost immediate. Now she talks to me, she comes in the room smiling, eyes dancing with mystery. She answers questions in class and is making better grades. She said, "Ms. D, I can tell you care about me. The other teachers just lecture me on how I need to study and improve my attitude. I like coming to your class because you care about ME, not just how I perform for you."

I will never forget those words. So I try to find that one kid who needs a little boost and say something nice about them. It doesn't always work, but most of the time, that compliment makes all the difference.

What grade do you teach.
 

GNTLGNT

The idiot is IN
Jun 15, 2007
87,651
358,754
62
Cambridge, Ohio
This made me so happy to read, Peg!

Since I have been teaching middle school, I have found this age group of kids really thrives on compliments about their appearances. I try to praise them for their academic skills, creative thinking, making a good grade, etc., but the way to win them over and really make them want to work for me is to compliment them on their looks.

I make a point, especially with the shy girl, the boy with giant glasses, the girl who can't afford the clothes the others have, the guy who is going through that awkward pimply chunky phase, to stop them, look them in the eye and say, "Wow, you look great in that outfit." Or, "Your haircut really shows off your pretty eyes." Or, "It's not fair that you're a guy and you have those long eyelashes! Girls will be fighting to look into those some day!"

A couple months ago, a new girl moved to our school. She came in to my classroom, sullen, eyes downcast, a look of sadness mixed with apathy on her face. Her clothes were not the best; she was not studying or listening in class. She has long reddish hair, nearly down to her waist and perfect skin, and one day I told her that her skin was so pretty. She kind of looked at me from the corner of her eye. Several days later, I told her that I loved her hair, never get it cut. She actually smiled at me. "Wow," I said, "how beautiful you are when you smile!" The next week, we had some extra time right before the bell rang to go home. I complimented her hair again, and asked if I could "fishtail" (a kind of braid) it. She grinned and said sure. So I fixed her hair, took a picture, and the whole class made a huge big deal of how pretty she looked. The change in her attitude was almost immediate. Now she talks to me, she comes in the room smiling, eyes dancing with mystery. She answers questions in class and is making better grades. She said, "Ms. D, I can tell you care about me. The other teachers just lecture me on how I need to study and improve my attitude. I like coming to your class because you care about ME, not just how I perform for you."

I will never forget those words. So I try to find that one kid who needs a little boost and say something nice about them. It doesn't always work, but most of the time, that compliment makes all the difference.
....this is what makes teaching an art form.......
 

TheRedQueen

And Crazy Housewife
Dec 3, 2014
1,346
8,164
36
Fernley, NV.
There is rampant rudeness is my area, particularly on the roadway. I've almost been run off the road by semi trucks twice; the second time had to have been deliberate. I've been cut off so sharp that it was either slam on my brakes--at seventy miles an hour--or crash. I follow the traffic laws here to the letter because I can't afford to get a ticket, but it seems as though everyone else either wants to kill me or force me to break the law. I've seen people going at least ninety, if not a hundred, on a highway where seventy is legal. And why? Why are people in such a hurry? Why do they think the whole world should dematerialize for them? What makes them so important? Don't they realize that one of these days they're going to piss off the wrong person? You cut off the wrong person, or run the wrong person off the road, you're going to end the day in a body bag. So why risk it? I wish I could stop every single a-hole on the road and ask them that.
 

not_nadine

Comfortably Roont
Nov 19, 2011
29,655
139,785
Behind you
This made me so happy to read, Peg!

Since I have been teaching middle school, I have found this age group of kids really thrives on compliments about their appearances. I try to praise them for their academic skills, creative thinking, making a good grade, etc., but the way to win them over and really make them want to work for me is to compliment them on their looks.

I make a point, especially with the shy girl, the boy with giant glasses, the girl who can't afford the clothes the others have, the guy who is going through that awkward pimply chunky phase, to stop them, look them in the eye and say, "Wow, you look great in that outfit." Or, "Your haircut really shows off your pretty eyes." Or, "It's not fair that you're a guy and you have those long eyelashes! Girls will be fighting to look into those some day!"

A couple months ago, a new girl moved to our school. She came in to my classroom, sullen, eyes downcast, a look of sadness mixed with apathy on her face. Her clothes were not the best; she was not studying or listening in class. She has long reddish hair, nearly down to her waist and perfect skin, and one day I told her that her skin was so pretty. She kind of looked at me from the corner of her eye. Several days later, I told her that I loved her hair, never get it cut. She actually smiled at me. "Wow," I said, "how beautiful you are when you smile!" The next week, we had some extra time right before the bell rang to go home. I complimented her hair again, and asked if I could "fishtail" (a kind of braid) it. She grinned and said sure. So I fixed her hair, took a picture, and the whole class made a huge big deal of how pretty she looked. The change in her attitude was almost immediate. Now she talks to me, she comes in the room smiling, eyes dancing with mystery. She answers questions in class and is making better grades. She said, "Ms. D, I can tell you care about me. The other teachers just lecture me on how I need to study and improve my attitude. I like coming to your class because you care about ME, not just how I perform for you."

I will never forget those words. So I try to find that one kid who needs a little boost and say something nice about them. It doesn't always work, but most of the time, that compliment makes all the difference.
That gave me a happy chill, I could picture you smiling and braiding her hair.
Thanks for that, and for making little differences every day.
 

not_nadine

Comfortably Roont
Nov 19, 2011
29,655
139,785
Behind you
Politeness and empathy are minor obsessions with me. I try hard to treat everyone, be they coworkers or strangers on the street, with respect, kindness, courtesy...I hold the door open for anybody who enters a store behind me, let people with less items go before me at the check out counter; always quick with a please, thank you, much obliged, etc. It fills me with a personal sense of satisfaction

I do the same, and with a smile. Funny some people are a little taken aback. But I always get a unexpected smile back. And a 'hey, thanks' Little things. Made someone smile.

Oh, and the awkward are they close enough to hold the door hustle.

People are mostly kind 'round here. The little store I go to in the morning..He always greets everyone with a 'good morning' from behind the counter. The guy knows my name, I don't know how.. ? Tells me if my favorite things are in stock. (now I feel that I have to buy Chicago popcorn every day, because I told him once that I liked it)

Even driving, on the way to work on the one big road. I was surprised at how everyone passes on left, blinkers, get back in.. Guess I picked a good area to move to.
 

Neesy

#1 fan (Annie Wilkes cousin) 1st cousin Mom's side
May 24, 2012
61,289
239,271
Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
This made me so happy to read, Peg!

Since I have been teaching middle school, I have found this age group of kids really thrives on compliments about their appearances. I try to praise them for their academic skills, creative thinking, making a good grade, etc., but the way to win them over and really make them want to work for me is to compliment them on their looks.

I make a point, especially with the shy girl, the boy with giant glasses, the girl who can't afford the clothes the others have, the guy who is going through that awkward pimply chunky phase, to stop them, look them in the eye and say, "Wow, you look great in that outfit." Or, "Your haircut really shows off your pretty eyes." Or, "It's not fair that you're a guy and you have those long eyelashes! Girls will be fighting to look into those some day!"

A couple months ago, a new girl moved to our school. She came in to my classroom, sullen, eyes downcast, a look of sadness mixed with apathy on her face. Her clothes were not the best; she was not studying or listening in class. She has long reddish hair, nearly down to her waist and perfect skin, and one day I told her that her skin was so pretty. She kind of looked at me from the corner of her eye. Several days later, I told her that I loved her hair, never get it cut. She actually smiled at me. "Wow," I said, "how beautiful you are when you smile!" The next week, we had some extra time right before the bell rang to go home. I complimented her hair again, and asked if I could "fishtail" (a kind of braid) it. She grinned and said sure. So I fixed her hair, took a picture, and the whole class made a huge big deal of how pretty she looked. The change in her attitude was almost immediate. Now she talks to me, she comes in the room smiling, eyes dancing with mystery. She answers questions in class and is making better grades. She said, "Ms. D, I can tell you care about me. The other teachers just lecture me on how I need to study and improve my attitude. I like coming to your class because you care about ME, not just how I perform for you."

I will never forget those words. So I try to find that one kid who needs a little boost and say something nice about them. It doesn't always work, but most of the time, that compliment makes all the difference.
Danie - I was just reading the part in "On Writing" last night about the girl who was picked on:down:

What you are doing is so great - I kind of teared up a little bit reading it

Those kids are lucky to have you!
 

doowopgirl

very avid fan
Aug 7, 2009
6,946
25,119
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dublin ireland
This made me so happy to read, Peg!

Since I have been teaching middle school, I have found this age group of kids really thrives on compliments about their appearances. I try to praise them for their academic skills, creative thinking, making a good grade, etc., but the way to win them over and really make them want to work for me is to compliment them on their looks.

I make a point, especially with the shy girl, the boy with giant glasses, the girl who can't afford the clothes the others have, the guy who is going through that awkward pimply chunky phase, to stop them, look them in the eye and say, "Wow, you look great in that outfit." Or, "Your haircut really shows off your pretty eyes." Or, "It's not fair that you're a guy and you have those long eyelashes! Girls will be fighting to look into those some day!"

A couple months ago, a new girl moved to our school. She came in to my classroom, sullen, eyes downcast, a look of sadness mixed with apathy on her face. Her clothes were not the best; she was not studying or listening in class. She has long reddish hair, nearly down to her waist and perfect skin, and one day I told her that her skin was so pretty. She kind of looked at me from the corner of her eye. Several days later, I told her that I loved her hair, never get it cut. She actually smiled at me. "Wow," I said, "how beautiful you are when you smile!" The next week, we had some extra time right before the bell rang to go home. I complimented her hair again, and asked if I could "fishtail" (a kind of braid) it. She grinned and said sure. So I fixed her hair, took a picture, and the whole class made a huge big deal of how pretty she looked. The change in her attitude was almost immediate. Now she talks to me, she comes in the room smiling, eyes dancing with mystery. She answers questions in class and is making better grades. She said, "Ms. D, I can tell you care about me. The other teachers just lecture me on how I need to study and improve my attitude. I like coming to your class because you care about ME, not just how I perform for you."

I will never forget those words. So I try to find that one kid who needs a little boost and say something nice about them. It doesn't always work, but most of the time, that compliment makes all the difference.
You are an amazing teacher. It's more than books that are important.
 

danie

I am whatever you say I am.
Feb 26, 2008
9,760
60,662
60
Kentucky
IMG_0596.JPG
crucial years for self esteem.

That is so true.
Danie, keep up the good work with those kids. It makes a difference to them.
Now if only the other teachers would try to do that.

....this is what makes teaching an art form.......

That gave me a happy chill, I could picture you smiling and braiding her hair.
Thanks for that, and for making little differences every day.

Danie - I was just reading the part in "On Writing" last night about the girl who was picked on:down:

What you are doing is so great - I kind of teared up a little bit reading it

Those kids are lucky to have you!

You are an amazing teacher. It's more than books that are important.
Look how pretty! (Thanks for the encouragement, guys.)

 

not_nadine

Comfortably Roont
Nov 19, 2011
29,655
139,785
Behind you
index.php



Reminds me of a 'lil Bev Marsh. :love_heart:

I am glad this thread has turned to both the bad and the good.
 

kingricefan

All-being, keeper of Space, Time & Dimension.
Jul 11, 2006
30,011
127,446
Spokane, WA
This made me so happy to read, Peg!

Since I have been teaching middle school, I have found this age group of kids really thrives on compliments about their appearances. I try to praise them for their academic skills, creative thinking, making a good grade, etc., but the way to win them over and really make them want to work for me is to compliment them on their looks.

I make a point, especially with the shy girl, the boy with giant glasses, the girl who can't afford the clothes the others have, the guy who is going through that awkward pimply chunky phase, to stop them, look them in the eye and say, "Wow, you look great in that outfit." Or, "Your haircut really shows off your pretty eyes." Or, "It's not fair that you're a guy and you have those long eyelashes! Girls will be fighting to look into those some day!"

A couple months ago, a new girl moved to our school. She came in to my classroom, sullen, eyes downcast, a look of sadness mixed with apathy on her face. Her clothes were not the best; she was not studying or listening in class. She has long reddish hair, nearly down to her waist and perfect skin, and one day I told her that her skin was so pretty. She kind of looked at me from the corner of her eye. Several days later, I told her that I loved her hair, never get it cut. She actually smiled at me. "Wow," I said, "how beautiful you are when you smile!" The next week, we had some extra time right before the bell rang to go home. I complimented her hair again, and asked if I could "fishtail" (a kind of braid) it. She grinned and said sure. So I fixed her hair, took a picture, and the whole class made a huge big deal of how pretty she looked. The change in her attitude was almost immediate. Now she talks to me, she comes in the room smiling, eyes dancing with mystery. She answers questions in class and is making better grades. She said, "Ms. D, I can tell you care about me. The other teachers just lecture me on how I need to study and improve my attitude. I like coming to your class because you care about ME, not just how I perform for you."

I will never forget those words. So I try to find that one kid who needs a little boost and say something nice about them. It doesn't always work, but most of the time, that compliment makes all the difference.
This is why you are a teacher, luv. YOU make a DIFFERENCE! Your kindness is NEVER going to be forgotten by this girl (and the others you've taken the time to encourage with your words and actions).