How Do I Encourage 5Yr Old Daughter's Love of Creating Scary Stories?

[kglucas]

I wasn't sure where to go to ask this question, so I thought I'd try here, if anyone can give some insight.

My daughter is 5 years old and is always coming up with some interesting tales of her own. They are elaborate, detailed and intricate, and quite often, involve death, decay and the strange. As a fan of horror, I find them to be amusing, but there's been a few times when she's told a story that raised others eyebrows. People have stated "Her stories are a bit dark and macabre don't you think?" and my response has always been "It worked out well for Stephen King." Which made me think, what would Stephen King do?

While some have been concerned that this sort of story telling could be indicative of a future serial killer, I view it as my daughter has an off-the-beaten-path view of entertainment like I do. I want to encourage her to continue her story telling, even when it involves monsters eating people and boogie men being killed and coming back to life. Tonight's story was about a king who was mean to his subjects and they killed him, but then in undeath he became nice and they let him back in the castle. So really the story is about redemption even when redemption seems impossible

So here I am, trying to figure out a way to ask Stephen King what sort of advice he'd give me to help encourage her storytelling while also not getting Child Protective Services called on us because she likes scary things. I say that somewhat jokingly, but I do worry that people will get overly concerned that having a dark sense of story telling means something horrible and diabolical when it's simply her style and her taste. And I don't want her to think something's wrong with her just because others think something is wrong with her. At 5 years old, it's very easy for her to be discouraged by someone questioning her in a judgmental way. I know I'm a bit biased, but my daughter is intelligent and creative and I want to nurture that.

That was a bit rambling, so given all that, does anyone have any suggestions they can provide or, if possible, is there any chance Mr. King ever views these message boards and can provide some guidance for my daughter? Thanks so much for reading this far!

 

[FlakeNoir]

Welcome to the site. I think this is pretty fantastic and good for you for seeking channels to foster the creative side, I can understand that some people would look sideways as my 7-year-old son tells the same kinds of stories and has a similar imagination.

Have you read Stephen's non-fiction story On Writing? You might find it invaluable.

 

[blunthead]

I wasn't sure where to go to ask this question, so I thought I'd try here, if anyone can give some insight.

My daughter is 5 years old and is always coming up with some interesting tales of her own. They are elaborate, detailed and intricate, and quite often, involve death, decay and the strange. As a fan of horror, I find them to be amusing, but there's been a few times when she's told a story that raised others eyebrows. People have stated "Her stories are a bit dark and macabre don't you think?" and my response has always been "It worked out well for Stephen King." Which made me think, what would Stephen King do?

While some have been concerned that this sort of story telling could be indicative of a future serial killer, I view it as my daughter has an off-the-beaten-path view of entertainment like I do. I want to encourage her to continue her story telling, even when it involves monsters eating people and boogie men being killed and coming back to life. Tonight's story was about a king who was mean to his subjects and they killed him, but then in undeath he became nice and they let him back in the castle. So really the story is about redemption even when redemption seems impossible

So here I am, trying to figure out a way to ask Stephen King what sort of advice he'd give me to help encourage her storytelling while also not getting Child Protective Services called on us because she likes scary things. I say that somewhat jokingly, but I do worry that people will get overly concerned that having a dark sense of story telling means something horrible and diabolical when it's simply her style and her taste. And I don't want her to think something's wrong with her just because others think something is wrong with her. At 5 years old, it's very easy for her to be discouraged by someone questioning her in a judgmental way. I know I'm a bit biased, but my daughter is intelligent and creative and I want to nurture that.

That was a bit rambling, so given all that, does anyone have any suggestions they can provide or, if possible, is there any chance Mr. King ever views these message boards and can provide some guidance for my daughter? Thanks so much for reading this far!

I seem to have been born with an attraction to scary, suspenseful stories. I think that a lot of children are and that society has perhaps considered it taboo, so that the tendency for kids to act such fantasies out has been discouraged enough that it seems few have the desire. Our society is changing, in some ways for the better, so hopefully your daughter won't feel ostracized, frustrated, or rejected as she continues to allow her imagination to roam where it will.

I haven't studied serial killers enough to know what experts consider behavior which predicts them, but I suspect there's a list of behaviors. I would not necessarily assume that an enjoyment of horror stories is on that list. Also, CPS would probably investigate thoroughly enough to discover no traces of abuse or neglect, and it's probable that they know many cases of children who like scary stories and would choose not to bother you if that's the only complaint.

Family sometimes sucks. Knowing less than practically anyone while presuming to know practically everything doesn't usually make someone a good advisor.

Welcome to the SKMB! Keep posting!

 

[Mr Nobody]

Pretty much what blunthead says. Horror/"scary"/"dark" stories are often misunderstood - too many see only the darkness, or even only look for the darkness, rather than taking the story as a whole (e.g the redemptive element of the story about the king; that's a positive and even healthy thing, but too many would be blinded by prejudice against the genre to see it. Maybe).
I'd also say that you should understand that the education system isn't about nurturing creativity. It's more about crushing it, compressing kids into a one-size-fits-all uniformity - of thought, of deed - and controlling what little creativity they're allowed and channelling it along (supposedly) 'positive' routes. So encouragement will have to continue to come largely from home - and you'll be at odds with the system, which will only see dark fiction (even with a positive outcome or message) as A Bad Thing.
Now, I will say that I could be wrong. My own experience growing up in the '80s and writing 'dark' stories - be they crime, war, sci-fi, attempts at horror as I then understood it - was that, as the child, you're lucky if you get a teacher that sees intrinsic value in creativity. It's a blind miracle if you get one who also happens to see the positive side of dark fiction, or at least doesn't immediately assume that things at home are "challenging".
Having seen my nephew and particularly my niece go through the system, I've come to the conclusion that it's even worse now. Ostensibly they 'look out' for things in case there's something going on that they need to report (in the UK, teachers can now be arrested and charged for missing signs of potential abuse), and mild enquiries have been made more than once because of the nature and tone of some of the things my niece has written. Obviously they want to keep kids safe, and there have been controversial cases here where evidence was ignored and opportunities missed. That, of course, is a good thing...but it's not so good when the only thing 'going on' is that the child is naturally creative and leans more towards the dark (even if it is merely a means of showing the light).

Bear in mind, though, that this could also just be a phase. The love of the dark may fade away (or grow even stronger; anything can happen). And even if it doesn't and the creative spark stays strong, there may (will) be periods where she seems to have lost interest, or even says outright that she has. (In my case, I wrote prolifically between 9 and 12, then in spurts until 14, then I barely put pen to paper unless I had to until I was 17. I've written ever since.)
It's why it's important to encourage but not push. Pushing with result in her pushing back eventually ("For every action...", etc). And, no matter how well-intentioned, don't try to advise along the lines of "Oh, you could have done X here or Y with that character". Again, speaking from experience, that puts a big dent in your confidence, to the point where you begin keeping stories strictly to yourself (or even inside) for fear of having got something 'wrong', or just not being very good - and a child's confidence can be a very fragile thing, despite all outward appearances to the contrary, especially if it's something that really matters to them.
So basically, while I'm not SK I'd say to enjoy the stories and encourage her in gentle ways, and just let her have fun with it (as it seems you're already doing). And if, later on, she says things along the lines of 'writing/the arts is/are a waste of time', remind her that such things actually generate billions for the economy, enrich life, and can touch people and so leave a lasting legacy. If she doubts it, just say "William Shakespeare". She might give a shudder of revulsion (most teenagers/young folks do)...but that's when you go "Yeah, but you still know who he is, right?"

 

[blunthead]

Pretty much what blunthead says. Horror/"scary"/"dark" stories are often misunderstood - too many see only the darkness, or even only look for the darkness, rather than taking the story as a whole (e.g the redemptive element of the story about the king; that's a positive and even healthy thing, but too many would be blinded by prejudice against the genre to see it. Maybe).
I'd also say that you should understand that the education system isn't about nurturing creativity. It's more about crushing it, compressing kids into a one-size-fits-all uniformity - of thought, of deed - and controlling what little creativity they're allowed and channelling it along (supposedly) 'positive' routes. So encouragement will have to continue to come largely from home - and you'll be at odds with the system, which will only see dark fiction (even with a positive outcome or message) as A Bad Thing.
Now, I will say that I could be wrong. My own experience growing up in the '80s and writing 'dark' stories - be they crime, war, sci-fi, attempts at horror as I then understood it - was that, as the child, you're lucky if you get a teacher that sees intrinsic value in creativity. It's a blind miracle if you get one who also happens to see the positive side of dark fiction, or at least doesn't immediately assume that things at home are "challenging".
Having seen my nephew and particularly my niece go through the system, I've come to the conclusion that it's even worse now. Ostensibly they 'look out' for things in case there's something going on that they need to report (in the UK, teachers can now be arrested and charged for missing signs of potential abuse), and mild enquiries have been made more than once because of the nature and tone of some of the things my niece has written. Obviously they want to keep kids safe, and there have been controversial cases here where evidence was ignored and opportunities missed. That, of course, is a good thing...but it's not so good when the only thing 'going on' is that the child is naturally creative and leans more towards the dark (even if it is merely a means of showing the light).

Bear in mind, though, that this could also just be a phase. The love of the dark may fade away (or grow even stronger; anything can happen). And even if it doesn't and the creative spark stays strong, there may (will) be periods where she seems to have lost interest, or even says outright that she has. (In my case, I wrote prolifically between 9 and 12, then in spurts until 14, then I barely put pen to paper unless I had to until I was 17. I've written ever since.)
It's why it's important to encourage but not push. Pushing with result in her pushing back eventually ("For every action...", etc). And, no matter how well-intentioned, don't try to advise along the lines of "Oh, you could have done X here or Y with that character". Again, speaking from experience, that puts a big dent in your confidence, to the point where you begin keeping stories strictly to yourself (or even inside) for fear of having got something 'wrong', or just not being very good - and a child's confidence can be a very fragile thing, despite all outward appearances to the contrary, especially if it's something that really matters to them.
So basically, while I'm not SK I'd say to enjoy the stories and encourage her in gentle ways, and just let her have fun with it (as it seems you're already doing). And if, later on, she says things along the lines of 'writing/the arts is/are a waste of time', remind her that such things actually generate billions for the economy, enrich life, and can touch people and so leave a lasting legacy. If she doubts it, just say "William Shakespeare". She might give a shudder of revulsion (most teenagers/young folks do)...but that's when you go "Yeah, but you still know who he is, right?"

The highlighted above is imho something adults need to be reminded of: Kids know certain things that adults have forgotten. A story tells itself. It shares with its writer, and its reader of course, itself.

 

[skimom2]

Listen and compliment her creativity Write them down, maybe? I did that with two of my kids (2 of my writers): they told me the story, and I wrote down exactly what they said, then they illustrated the stories. Then we made covers and stapled the books together I still have both of them--they're family heirlooms--haha! My youngest learned to write earlier than the others, so he wrote his own and put it in a plastic presentation-type binder. And kids #3 and #4 still write stories OFTEN. #4's are so interesting (sci-fi/horror) that I've contemplated snitching bits of them for my own work--lol.

If you're concerned what others will think (and there are people who make it their job to 'worry' about EVERYTHING other people do), explain that 'dark' stories are for home--just between you guys. Not secret, because having a different kind of imagination is nothing shameful, but 5 is old enough to understand that nosy nelsons don't need to hear everything.

 

[skimom2]

Pretty much what blunthead says. Horror/"scary"/"dark" stories are often misunderstood - too many see only the darkness, or even only look for the darkness, rather than taking the story as a whole (e.g the redemptive element of the story about the king; that's a positive and even healthy thing, but too many would be blinded by prejudice against the genre to see it. Maybe).
I'd also say that you should understand that the education system isn't about nurturing creativity. It's more about crushing it, compressing kids into a one-size-fits-all uniformity - of thought, of deed - and controlling what little creativity they're allowed and channelling it along (supposedly) 'positive' routes. So encouragement will have to continue to come largely from home - and you'll be at odds with the system, which will only see dark fiction (even with a positive outcome or message) as A Bad Thing.
Now, I will say that I could be wrong. My own experience growing up in the '80s and writing 'dark' stories - be they crime, war, sci-fi, attempts at horror as I then understood it - was that, as the child, you're lucky if you get a teacher that sees intrinsic value in creativity. It's a blind miracle if you get one who also happens to see the positive side of dark fiction, or at least doesn't immediately assume that things at home are "challenging".
Having seen my nephew and particularly my niece go through the system, I've come to the conclusion that it's even worse now. Ostensibly they 'look out' for things in case there's something going on that they need to report (in the UK, teachers can now be arrested and charged for missing signs of potential abuse), and mild enquiries have been made more than once because of the nature and tone of some of the things my niece has written. Obviously they want to keep kids safe, and there have been controversial cases here where evidence was ignored and opportunities missed. That, of course, is a good thing...but it's not so good when the only thing 'going on' is that the child is naturally creative and leans more towards the dark (even if it is merely a means of showing the light).

Bear in mind, though, that this could also just be a phase. The love of the dark may fade away (or grow even stronger; anything can happen). And even if it doesn't and the creative spark stays strong, there may (will) be periods where she seems to have lost interest, or even says outright that she has. (In my case, I wrote prolifically between 9 and 12, then in spurts until 14, then I barely put pen to paper unless I had to until I was 17. I've written ever since.)
It's why it's important to encourage but not push. Pushing with result in her pushing back eventually ("For every action...", etc). And, no matter how well-intentioned, don't try to advise along the lines of "Oh, you could have done X here or Y with that character". Again, speaking from experience, that puts a big dent in your confidence, to the point where you begin keeping stories strictly to yourself (or even inside) for fear of having got something 'wrong', or just not being very good - and a child's confidence can be a very fragile thing, despite all outward appearances to the contrary, especially if it's something that really matters to them.
So basically, while I'm not SK I'd say to enjoy the stories and encourage her in gentle ways, and just let her have fun with it (as it seems you're already doing). And if, later on, she says things along the lines of 'writing/the arts is/are a waste of time', remind her that such things actually generate billions for the economy, enrich life, and can touch people and so leave a lasting legacy. If she doubts it, just say "William Shakespeare". She might give a shudder of revulsion (most teenagers/young folks do)...but that's when you go "Yeah, but you still know who he is, right?"

LOVE this, Mr. Nobody (and very glad to see you back!)

And Shakespeare? You never know. My 17 YO and 9 YO were in youth productions of Twelfth Night and Macbeth last summer, and learned to enjoy Willie Shakes (daughter is ripping through the plays, and reads them--acts them out, really--for her younger brother. Great to hear them laughing over 400 year old dirty jokes--HAHA). Two nights ago they burst into a spontaneous exchange of the "Do you bite your thumb" dialogue from Romeo & Juliet--lol. Kids...who knows? My favorite part of being a parent is being surprised by what they say or do

 

[Mr Nobody]

they told me the story, and I wrote down exactly what they said, then they illustrated the stories. Then we made covers and stapled the books together

And I love that! Seems like it'd be a great thing to do all round.

As for ol' Shaky...reading them aloud is the best way to grasp them for sure - performance is what they were intended for, after all. It took a fair while for me to get into, though (say sorry, considering Stratford's only about 50-60 miles away). The English didn't seem quite like English, and was a far cry from the local colloquial version I tended (and still tend) to speak - even though Shakespeare's accent wouldn't have been entirely dissimilar. But then it's often seemed to me that Americans and others 'get' Shakespeare more easily/readily than we do.
(And thanks. )

 

[GNTLGNT]

....Blue Ribbons all around!....

 

[GNTLGNT]

....or Blue Ribbons all around....

 

[Shoesalesman]

Listen and compliment her creativity Write them down, maybe? I did that with two of my kids (2 of my writers): they told me the story, and I wrote down exactly what they said, then they illustrated the stories. Then we made covers and stapled the books together I still have both of them--they're family heirlooms--haha!

That is the coolest thing! I kept all of my scratchings and drawings from my wee years (from age six onward), stories that made no sense but all the sense in the world to me. I revisit them often.

Keep nurturing your daughter's imagination, kglucas, be it dark or light. Your encouragement in her imagination, even if others say nay, will likely give her good building blocks for the expression of ideas later on in life. Good luck!!!

 

[Dana Jean]

Listen and compliment her creativity Write them down, maybe? I did that with two of my kids (2 of my writers): they told me the story, and I wrote down exactly what they said, then they illustrated the stories. Then we made covers and stapled the books together I still have both of them--they're family heirlooms--haha! My youngest learned to write earlier than the others, so he wrote his own and put it in a plastic presentation-type binder. And kids #3 and #4 still write stories OFTEN. #4's are so interesting (sci-fi/horror) that I've contemplated snitching bits of them for my own work--lol.

If you're concerned what others will think (and there are people who make it their job to 'worry' about EVERYTHING other people do), explain that 'dark' stories are for home--just between you guys. Not secret, because having a different kind of imagination is nothing shameful, but 5 is old enough to understand that nosy nelsons don't need to hear everything.

I did this too, with my kids. And we would play games, I would start a story and leave it off after a few sentences and they would have to pick it up and then they would leave it and I would get it back, it was a lot of fun.

I sent one of my kid's stories (that he wrote alone) and illustrated, to this company that binds books, it comes in a kit. It turned out amazing. It is hard cover. And we gave copies to family and dedicated it to Lavar Burton. It has an author photo, which is a picture of my son "smoking" a pipe in front of a bookcase in a leather jacket, side view. Very authory. He was about 4.

 

[skimom2]

I did this too, with my kids. And we would play games, I would start a story and leave it off after a few sentences and they would have to pick it up and then they would leave it and I would get it back, it was a lot of fun.

I sent one of my kid's stories (that he wrote alone) and illustrated, to this company that binds books, it comes in a kit. It turned out amazing. It is hard cover. And we gave copies to family and dedicated it to Lavar Burton. It has an author photo, which is a picture of my son "smoking" a pipe in front of a bookcase in a leather jacket, side view. Very authory. He was about 4.

We played 'Three Words'. Whoever was the storyteller was given three words (generally one each from me and two siblings, or three kids chose for me) and had to make up a story using those three words meaningfully--they couldn't just toss in the word in a list of words. That was always great fun--so much so that the kids STILL ask to play it sometimes at 19, 17, and almost 10

I LOVE that you had a book professionally bound! We just put them together ourselves, and the oldest ones are getting mighty flimsy by now.

 

[Dana Jean]

We played 'Three Words'. Whoever was the storyteller was given three words (generally one each from me and two siblings, or three kids chose for me) and had to make up a story using those three words meaningfully--they couldn't just toss in the word in a list of words. That was always great fun--so much so that the kids STILL ask to play it sometimes at 19, 17, and almost 10

I LOVE that you had a book professionally bound! We just put them together ourselves, and the oldest ones are getting mighty flimsy by now.

I've done the homemade way too, a story I wrote and illustrated for my kids. This was some kit that came from a kid store, it was really cool. Almost like a shutterfly sort of thing, you had these unbound pages that the kids drew their pictures on, and then they told you how many spaces you had for words. It turned out really cute.

 

[Christine62]

I remember being in first grade and not really bonding with the girls--I never did girl very well. I would hang out with the boys and when making posters for Halloween, we drew a decapitation machine where the heads would roll in pools of acid.

This taken by itself would cause a psychologist to think I had deep issues but a closer look would show I was a normal kid ---an extremely empathetic one in fact. Telling scary stories gives kids power and maybe what if practice.

 

[Wayoftheredpanda]

Laugh at them when your daughter is her generation's Stephen King/Dean Koontz