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Discussion in 'Chattery Teeth (Other)' started by MadamMack, Nov 1, 2013.
I wanted to use pissed-off in the title but that's wasn't lady like . . .
I am angry because I can't keep my mind of the things that make me angry.
I keep thinking about them and thinking about them and thinking about them.
Someone tell me how to get your mind off of hurtful things.
I am consumed.
You gotta let it go . . .anger is bad for your health.
But how do I let it go? I would love to not think of it, but my mind goes back to it no matter how hard I try to forget, or what I try to do to get my mind off it.
It's the first thing on my mind when I awake, and the last thing I think of before going to sleep.
I am consumed.
The only problem I've ever had like that had to do with family issues . . .
One shot to your heart without breaking your skin
No one has the power to hurt you like your kin
Kept it inside, didn't tell no one else
Didn't even wanna admit it to yourself
And now your chest burns and your back aches
From 15 years of holding the pain
And now you only have yourself to blame
If you continue to live this way
I can only tell you what I did to help myself. I asked myself 'how could I fix this anger?'. I thought about it and thought about it over and over, and by doing that it kept me from dwelling on the hurt that was killing me mentally. I found my solution and it help me to let the anger go. I can't tell you how to get rid of this burden. But, you need to let it go.
I do not get angry very often. I get angry every time I feed the stray cats outside. Why were they abandoned? People can be so cruel.
Angry is a strong word. I'm more disappointed then angry.
My son was in a performance. He's been working really hard. Tonight was the final performance, and this was the one we bought tickets to. You know that paper you get when you go to a performance and it lists everyone involved....including the actors? They forgot to out his name on it.
I have requested they reprint one for me with his name added, which they said they will do. (We'll see.) but, it was the final performance, so his name is not in anyone else's.
That's a beautiful poem, MM. It does apply to me somewhat in that I am completely estranged from my family.
But what's eating me alive now is something different...one of those life-altering events that I know I won't ever get over, but wish that I could at least let it go more than I have. It happened 5 months ago, and time has lessened my obsessiveness about it somewhat, but I still have days and nights when I think I'll go crazy. It's like the entry wound is healing, but the exit wound is still open and bleeding.
That is so disappointing, AnnaMarie. Was he upset too?
Have you been able to have access to some counselling, Danie?
Somethings take a lot of time . . .I wish you positive vibes.
I have thought about it, but I'm not sure. I'm a very private person, and I'm a teacher, so I'm afraid if I go somewhere, the receptionist (or whoever) will be one of my former students, and know my business. I guess I could go out of town. I may have to as this is killing me.
He was more confused then disappointed. I had to tell him, because if they do print off a corrected one they will give it to him to bring home.
He wasn't in the paper last year either, but that one was his own fault.
I'm glad to hear that someone else doesn't want their family and everybody's grandma's dog to know everything that goes on!
My students are always asking me if I'm on Facebook, and they are shocked to hear I've never even looked at it.
An anonymous help-line sounds really promising. Just to be able to tell someone all the angry feelings might be a way to lessen the pain.
Thanks for your advice.
Are you religious at all?
And is it things you are angry about or people you are angry at?
Maybe these questions are to personal. So, in case you don't want to answer....if you are religious, then pray and ask God to help you move past this.
If you are angry at a person, then forgive them. I was in a very difficult situation once, when I just could NOT forgive someone for something because he made it VERY clear he was not sorry, and to me, there would ALWAYS be a risk he would do something similar. (This did not involve any kind of physical risk, nor was it any kind of spousal or partner abuse.) anyway, it was eating me up. I was always thinking about it, always angry. One day I snapped at a friend, and she started questioning me about what I was so upset about.
She smiled and said "forgive him". And when I explained...he's not sorry, etc. she explained....forgiveness has nothing to do with him. It's all about me.
It took me a while, but, eventually...it worked. thank goodness too. He has since passed away, and if this had been left unfinished, I don't think I could have forgiven him afterwards, which would have meant I would have never gotten past it.
I've done the help-line before and found it to be more helpful than therapy. In therapy I felt that I was just another case. And, I didn't like being told, "Time's up . . ." made me feel like a two dollar whore. I was put on proziac . . .only had the prescription filled once. I don't like my emotions dampen and that's what proziac did. I got a lot of help from a help-line and I could talk for as long as I liked. A lot of the help-line people can really understand your problems because they've had them too.
I've prayed a great deal about it, and I think that's helped.
But I can never forgive the person....never. What they did is unforgivable. So I'm stuck here. I know it's bad for me, I know I need to forgive, but it's quite impossible at this point.
I wish I could remember how my friend explained it to me.
Because forgiveness has nothing to do with the other person. It is all about you. It releases YOU, but does nothing for them.
It's very true, but you have to be in the right place to be able to do this... and that is a process, getting there.
You just have to start.
Yes, FlakeNoir. It is a process and it does take time.