I Am Angry Today Because . . .

  • This message board permanently closed on June 30th, 2020 at 4PM EDT and is no longer accepting new members.

AnnaMarie

Well-Known Member
Feb 16, 2012
7,068
29,564
Other
That proves you are the better person!

I had recently joked with my sister that it only took about 88,000 people being evacuated for him to actually phone me. (He saw my post asking if anyone had heard from him. But also, our brother was at work and our sister was in hospital....I was all that was left.)

Anyway, I'm not so sure I am better. I just went looking through my pictures, looking if there was even one little "like". I saw none. I'm sitting here thinking about all the slights. No call or card when my in-laws passed. No call when my husband almost died.

I've always joked that it takes A LOT for me to realize when someone is dissing me. But, once it finally sinks in....it stays. And I think, if he ignores this baby, I may cut ties.
 

Dana Jean

Dirty Pirate Hooker, The Return
Moderator
Apr 11, 2006
53,634
236,697
The High Seas
I had recently joked with my sister that it only took about 88,000 people being evacuated for him to actually phone me. (He saw my post asking if anyone had heard from him. But also, our brother was at work and our sister was in hospital....I was all that was left.)

Anyway, I'm not so sure I am better. I just went looking through my pictures, looking if there was even one little "like". I saw none. I'm sitting here thinking about all the slights. No call or card when my in-laws passed. No call when my husband almost died.

I've always joked that it takes A LOT for me to realize when someone is dissing me. But, once it finally sinks in....it stays. And I think, if he ignores this baby, I may cut ties.
What the heck? I am so sorry about this. People can't pretend they don't know when they are hurting someone. They know. This high-school mean-girl (even though he is a man) stuff is just so childish.

Someone in the family has to know the why of this situation. If he won't be man enough to tell you, find that someone who will.

Tell us about your babies. I love babies!
 

AnnaMarie

Well-Known Member
Feb 16, 2012
7,068
29,564
Other
I don't actually care why. My sister may know, but I refuse to stick her in the middle by asking her. It would be to much like asking her to pick sides, and I don't believe in doing that.

This picture popped up on my Facebook. I'm taking it personally....but I'm also taking it to heart. it doesn't "fix" anything...but I feel better.

image.jpeg
 

GNTLGNT

The idiot is IN
Jun 15, 2007
87,651
358,754
62
Cambridge, Ohio
1ec2738802581e2b588779d1ac9d38ff.jpg
 

CoriSCapnSkip

Well-Known Member
Jan 16, 2015
1,735
7,765
61
Okay, I went from being worried about someone to a 99% suspicion that this individual, who seemed nice online, in text messages, and in person, is in reality a horrible jerk. I have several light welding projects (fabrication and repair) I have gone through six people trying to have done. One died, one I was recommended by several people but hear he is unreliable which I don't need so didn't try to contact, one retired (or something--anyway, isn't answering), one I Googled after being unable to contact and learned he is in trouble for repeatedly raping a child who is his own relative, and one is nice but charges $80 an hour. One for whom I had real hopes, I bought a few odds and ends from such as old bricks, and he said he needed to practice his welding and would work cheap. I put the things in the car on March 10 and except for being removed a time or two have driven around with them there ever since! One time his car wouldn't work, another time he was robbed and had to meet with police, and there was at least one other time I tried getting together and couldn't. A fourth time I went to this town, which is 30 miles away so it's not like I get there all that often. I kept in touch with him through texts. He said he was running late, and I said I was hungry so would stop to eat, to text me as soon as he was REALLY THERE (it's a deserted junkyard next to the state prison so not a place I'd hang out) and I would come over. After an hour with no word I was done eating and about to drive over and check anyway, when he texted, said he had a dead phone, that he waited an hour and had to leave. So I am going to the town again, tried to text to ask if we can get together and the message was NOT DELIVERED. I went to Facebook, found his group still there but NO SIGN of his personal page and I cannot reply to messages either.

I did Google him, too, to try to find a snail mail address. All I found is some collection agency won a judgment of over $4,000.00 from him two years ago.

Afraid something was really wrong, I posted in a few places asking if anyone knew what happened to him and a lady posted back saying she can see his information fine! Of course then I knew he had blocked me on Facebook and the phone, not gone off the grid. The only other thing I can possibly have done to set him off was when I posted some bad stuff here, for which see above, I did on Facebook, too, but none of it had anything to do with him or anyone he knows--I don't know him that well. So I PMed this lady telling her this, and when I went on Facebook again, my post is still there but her replies are gone! But she hasn't blocked me as I was able to PM her asking if she removed her replies!

I am more than half tempted to drive to the place when I am in town and leave a note asking what exactly his problem is! I did find another source (seventh time lucky?) which looks very hopeful for the welding (about time as I have been at this a solid year trying to get someone to work on these jobs which are not all that major) but might still like to do business with this guy if he wouldn't be a horrible jerk. What possible right does he have to be angry with me when I have repeatedly made every attempt to contact him and have driven around with these items in my car for over two months?
 

Arcadevere

Gentle Lady From Brady Hartsfield Defense Squad
Mar 3, 2016
793
3,689
Manila, Philippines
steamcommunity.com
I got struck in a traffic right now, it's been 3 hours since i ride a tricycle and i'm Still stuck in a major road

I want to read a book while i'm stuck in traffic but it was already night here and this tricycle has no lights inside
I felt like in a horror movie but instead of getting stared, i'm angry, i should be on my home right now :mad:
 

skimom2

Just moseyin' through...
Oct 9, 2013
15,683
92,168
USA
Okay, I went from being worried about someone to a 99% suspicion that this individual, who seemed nice online, in text messages, and in person, is in reality a horrible jerk. I have several light welding projects (fabrication and repair) I have gone through six people trying to have done. One died, one I was recommended by several people but hear he is unreliable which I don't need so didn't try to contact, one retired (or something--anyway, isn't answering), one I Googled after being unable to contact and learned he is in trouble for repeatedly raping a child who is his own relative, and one is nice but charges $80 an hour. One for whom I had real hopes, I bought a few odds and ends from such as old bricks, and he said he needed to practice his welding and would work cheap. I put the things in the car on March 10 and except for being removed a time or two have driven around with them there ever since! One time his car wouldn't work, another time he was robbed and had to meet with police, and there was at least one other time I tried getting together and couldn't. A fourth time I went to this town, which is 30 miles away so it's not like I get there all that often. I kept in touch with him through texts. He said he was running late, and I said I was hungry so would stop to eat, to text me as soon as he was REALLY THERE (it's a deserted junkyard next to the state prison so not a place I'd hang out) and I would come over. After an hour with no word I was done eating and about to drive over and check anyway, when he texted, said he had a dead phone, that he waited an hour and had to leave. So I am going to the town again, tried to text to ask if we can get together and the message was NOT DELIVERED. I went to Facebook, found his group still there but NO SIGN of his personal page and I cannot reply to messages either.

I did Google him, too, to try to find a snail mail address. All I found is some collection agency won a judgment of over $4,000.00 from him two years ago.

Afraid something was really wrong, I posted in a few places asking if anyone knew what happened to him and a lady posted back saying she can see his information fine! Of course then I knew he had blocked me on Facebook and the phone, not gone off the grid. The only other thing I can possibly have done to set him off was when I posted some bad stuff here, for which see above, I did on Facebook, too, but none of it had anything to do with him or anyone he knows--I don't know him that well. So I PMed this lady telling her this, and when I went on Facebook again, my post is still there but her replies are gone! But she hasn't blocked me as I was able to PM her asking if she removed her replies!

I am more than half tempted to drive to the place when I am in town and leave a note asking what exactly his problem is! I did find another source (seventh time lucky?) which looks very hopeful for the welding (about time as I have been at this a solid year trying to get someone to work on these jobs which are not all that major) but might still like to do business with this guy if he wouldn't be a horrible jerk. What possible right does he have to be angry with me when I have repeatedly made every attempt to contact him and have driven around with these items in my car for over two months?
Drop it and move on. You're winding yourself up over something he doesn't care about at all (except that you might have hurt his business by posting negativity on FB). Choose to be positive, chalk up the event as a learning experience, and move forward.
 

pegasus216

Eternal Members
Jun 20, 2013
6,825
44,212
75
Delaware
I paid off all my bills a couple of weeks ago. One place got their check on May 2nd. I pay my bills through my online banking. They have yet to cash it. I have called them 3 times about it already.
I am waiting until next Wednesday, and I am going to call again. I will let them know that I will be putting a stop payment on that check at the end of next week if they don't cash it. Everyone else got their money the next day after I paid them, but this place is acting stupid.
 

not_nadine

Comfortably Roont
Nov 19, 2011
29,655
139,785
Behind you
Drop it and move on. You're winding yourself up over something he doesn't care about at all (except that you might have hurt his business by posting negativity on FB). Choose to be positive, chalk up the event as a learning experience, and move forward.[/QU
Drop it and move on. You're winding yourself up over something he doesn't care about at all (except that you might have hurt his business by posting negativity on FB). Choose to be positive, chalk up the event as a learning experience, and move forward.

yea, calm down cori.
 

not_nadine

Comfortably Roont
Nov 19, 2011
29,655
139,785
Behind you
Okay, I went from being worried about someone to a 99% suspicion that this individual, who seemed nice online, in text messages, and in person, is in reality a horrible jerk. I have several light welding projects (fabrication and repair) I have gone through six people trying to have done. One died, one I was recommended by several people but hear he is unreliable which I don't need so didn't try to contact, one retired (or something--anyway, isn't answering), one I Googled after being unable to contact and learned he is in trouble for repeatedly raping a child who is his own relative, and one is nice but charges $80 an hour. One for whom I had real hopes, I bought a few odds and ends from such as old bricks, and he said he needed to practice his welding and would work cheap. I put the things in the car on March 10 and except for being removed a time or two have driven around with them there ever since! One time his car wouldn't work, another time he was robbed and had to meet with police, and there was at least one other time I tried getting together and couldn't. A fourth time I went to this town, which is 30 miles away so it's not like I get there all that often. I kept in touch with him through texts. He said he was running late, and I said I was hungry so would stop to eat, to text me as soon as he was REALLY THERE (it's a deserted junkyard next to the state prison so not a place I'd hang out) and I would come over. After an hour with no word I was done eating and about to drive over and check anyway, when he texted, said he had a dead phone, that he waited an hour and had to leave. So I am going to the town again, tried to text to ask if we can get together and the message was NOT DELIVERED. I went to Facebook, found his group still there but NO SIGN of his personal page and I cannot reply to messages either.

I did Google him, too, to try to find a snail mail address. All I found is some collection agency won a judgment of over $4,000.00 from him two years ago.

Afraid something was really wrong, I posted in a few places asking if anyone knew what happened to him and a lady posted back saying she can see his information fine! Of course then I knew he had blocked me on Facebook and the phone, not gone off the grid. The only other thing I can possibly have done to set him off was when I posted some bad stuff here, for which see above, I did on Facebook, too, but none of it had anything to do with him or anyone he knows--I don't know him that well. So I PMed this lady telling her this, and when I went on Facebook again, my post is still there but her replies are gone! But she hasn't blocked me as I was able to PM her asking if she removed her replies!

I am more than half tempted to drive to the place when I am in town and leave a note asking what exactly his problem is! I did find another source (seventh time lucky?) which looks very hopeful for the welding (about time as I have been at this a solid year trying to get someone to work on these jobs which are not all that major) but might still like to do business with this guy if he wouldn't be a horrible jerk. What possible right does he have to be angry with me when I have repeatedly made every attempt to contact him and have driven around with these items in my car for over two months?

Sounds like a case for Judge Judy.
 

Dana Jean

Dirty Pirate Hooker, The Return
Moderator
Apr 11, 2006
53,634
236,697
The High Seas
Okay, I went from being worried about someone to a 99% suspicion that this individual, who seemed nice online, in text messages, and in person, is in reality a horrible jerk. I have several light welding projects (fabrication and repair) I have gone through six people trying to have done. One died, one I was recommended by several people but hear he is unreliable which I don't need so didn't try to contact, one retired (or something--anyway, isn't answering), one I Googled after being unable to contact and learned he is in trouble for repeatedly raping a child who is his own relative, and one is nice but charges $80 an hour. One for whom I had real hopes, I bought a few odds and ends from such as old bricks, and he said he needed to practice his welding and would work cheap. I put the things in the car on March 10 and except for being removed a time or two have driven around with them there ever since! One time his car wouldn't work, another time he was robbed and had to meet with police, and there was at least one other time I tried getting together and couldn't. A fourth time I went to this town, which is 30 miles away so it's not like I get there all that often. I kept in touch with him through texts. He said he was running late, and I said I was hungry so would stop to eat, to text me as soon as he was REALLY THERE (it's a deserted junkyard next to the state prison so not a place I'd hang out) and I would come over. After an hour with no word I was done eating and about to drive over and check anyway, when he texted, said he had a dead phone, that he waited an hour and had to leave. So I am going to the town again, tried to text to ask if we can get together and the message was NOT DELIVERED. I went to Facebook, found his group still there but NO SIGN of his personal page and I cannot reply to messages either.

I did Google him, too, to try to find a snail mail address. All I found is some collection agency won a judgment of over $4,000.00 from him two years ago.

Afraid something was really wrong, I posted in a few places asking if anyone knew what happened to him and a lady posted back saying she can see his information fine! Of course then I knew he had blocked me on Facebook and the phone, not gone off the grid. The only other thing I can possibly have done to set him off was when I posted some bad stuff here, for which see above, I did on Facebook, too, but none of it had anything to do with him or anyone he knows--I don't know him that well. So I PMed this lady telling her this, and when I went on Facebook again, my post is still there but her replies are gone! But she hasn't blocked me as I was able to PM her asking if she removed her replies!

I am more than half tempted to drive to the place when I am in town and leave a note asking what exactly his problem is! I did find another source (seventh time lucky?) which looks very hopeful for the welding (about time as I have been at this a solid year trying to get someone to work on these jobs which are not all that major) but might still like to do business with this guy if he wouldn't be a horrible jerk. What possible right does he have to be angry with me when I have repeatedly made every attempt to contact him and have driven around with these items in my car for over two months?
No, no, no. You have tried to work with an obvious jerk. Why? Why would you purposely put so much effort into working with someone like this? I would run for the hills. As much gas, time and energy you have spent on this one dude alone, you could've hired the 80$ an hour guy.

Sometimes, you get what you WANT to pay for. Cheap doesn't always mean good, reliable, nice, responsible. So, what if you get this guy to work on your stuff? Do you want to spend the next year trying to contact him to get your stuff back? Don't purposely set yourself up to be angry and negative.

Hire the 80$ guy and be done.
 

CoriSCapnSkip

Well-Known Member
Jan 16, 2015
1,735
7,765
61
Drop it and move on. You're winding yourself up over something he doesn't care about at all (except that you might have hurt his business by posting negativity on FB). Choose to be positive, chalk up the event as a learning experience, and move forward.

No, I didn't mention his name in a negative way on Facebook; you'll see exactly what I actually posted below. The only post using his name was asking what had happened and whether he was all right. Anyone who saw it and put two and two together would see that he had blocked me, although I did not post that publicly either.

Okay, at last I finally figured out what must have set off the guy who seemed my best welding prospect, this post I made in a public Facebook group:

May 2 at 10:35pm

Could anyone put me in touch with the school welding instructor or anyone else able to do welding and metal work? Thanks.

Posted because after nearly two months then (over two months now) of driving around with all these metal items taking up easily a quarter of my car, and at least four attempts (a 60-mile round trip each time) to try to get together with Matt, I figured if I ever even got the things to him, what were my chances of getting them back? I suppose he thinks I am a) blaming him for not texting when he had a dead phone and b) implying high school students are better than he is. I wasn't; just saying with the welding not working out I was looking into other options. I didn't learn he had blocked me till I tried to text him Thursday night while planning another trip to town and neither the phone nor the Facebook message worked. Even then, I thought with his luck something bad had happened forcing him off the grid, and was genuinely concerned. I didn't know he was just being a jerk. Even if the welding didn't work out, I was still interested in possibly doing other business, but not if he gets that way about every little thing when he knows how hard I tried to make this work.
 
  • Like
Reactions: GNTLGNT

mcpon14

Well-Known Member
Oct 10, 2014
1,129
5,514
36
I paid off all my bills a couple of weeks ago. One place got their check on May 2nd. I pay my bills through my online banking. They have yet to cash it. I have called them 3 times about it already.
I am waiting until next Wednesday, and I am going to call again. I will let them know that I will be putting a stop payment on that check at the end of next week if they don't cash it. Everyone else got their money the next day after I paid them, but this place is acting stupid.

It sucks about that place.
 

CoriSCapnSkip

Well-Known Member
Jan 16, 2015
1,735
7,765
61
About the gaslighting...one of my sisters did what I took as this for years, before I even knew the term. A number of times when I recounted some event she would ask in an extremely accusatory manner, "How come you remember stuff no one else does?" I thought of course she was lying--after all, she was there so how could she not remember?--and her motivation for lying must be either because the event reflected badly on her, or she was just trying to mess with me. Then she continued this as an adult regarding things she would have absolutely no reason to pretend not to recall. Finally I figured out and confirmed with our other sister that this sister (who is our same age so it's not a matter of a much younger child not remembering) honest to God really didn't remember major events we would never forget! After learning of the Asperger's Syndrome, it turns out that extremely retentive memory of incidents and other details for many years is an associated condition which is both a blessing and a curse. Lately I've been accused of clinging to the past. It isn't just that I remember it so well, and it isn't just that I have had to totally reprocess everything I thought I knew about all my formative experiences in light of how other people may have responded due to my AS tendencies and being in what Asperger's Experts term "Defense Mode," it's simply that there may be no future and anyway I am a natural born student and preservationist of history. How many volumes have been devoted to the Civil War? Countless. How many to the Civil Peace? Crickets. I rest my case!

As far as people manipulating me, they enjoyed success up to a certain point, especially at the two boarding schools I attended. With any home support system gone, people were able to convince me that among my problems were just being so weird or disagreeable and I could prove I was not like this by doing everything they said. This could have been much worse even than it was. The final thing that went down at that school was actually a combination of my dad and a lot of others making it absolutely clear they really didn't want me around--they either could do nothing to help me or would do nothing even if they could--and when I began to completely freak out about this, a couple of well-meaning girls took me to the school infirmary. I agreed to go because for one I was well and truly freaked past the point of even putting on an act of being all right, plus I wanted to be polite to the few people who seemed to show an interest in whether I lived or died. None of us could have known that the fact of going to the infirmary sealed my fate. I have no documentation of this but I am 1,000% convinced this is the case--that my dad always blamed me for something I must have done wrong, but the situation was precipitated entirely by his actions. And I wasn't even that upset at being not asked back (NOT expelled!) from the school as I was so damn relieved to be out of that place, especially after most of the people I had tried to befriend revealed their true colors.

At the second school I realized that continuing down the road I was on trying to please those people that some of them would not be satisfied with anything less than my death and if some weren't even satisfied with that, well, I wasn't going to be around to know about it. So I backed off and they decided I wasn't worth having around there, either. I've reconnected with some high school friends here and told one I was so glad I went to those two places as I gained a completely different dimension of appreciation of and loyalty to my public school I would not otherwise have had!

https://www.aconsciousrethink.com/3384/hidden-language-narcissists-manipulate-traumatize-victims/
 
  • Like
Reactions: GNTLGNT

AnnaMarie

Well-Known Member
Feb 16, 2012
7,068
29,564
Other
In our house, I'm the one who likes to watch sports.

I wanted to actually go to a baseball game this year. DH's company has purchased group tickets for two games. But, I found a game with cheaper tickets (same section) and a free TBT t-shirt. So, I sent DH an e-mail with order information. Now, three weeks later he asks me if I want to order the tickets. Of course they are sold out. And it's to late to get them through his work too.

Seriously....next year I think I'll just order the most expensive ticket I can find. Never mind bringing him...I'll just go alone.