Must I restrict this to today? It's now August and I've been anxious since at least December 2013 and pissed off since at least December 2014!
Practically no one signed my White House Freedom of Speech petition, not even friends and relatives! People are shooting each other over newspaper cartoons, mass shootings in theaters and even churches, shooting protected lions for trophies, not to mention it seems Atticus Finch was a closet racist all these years and now the secret is out! (Haven't finished my rereading of To Kill a Mockingbird yet, let alone get hold of the sequel.) I posted a few concerns on my Facebook page and my cousin posted a nasty note asking if I spent my life upset (which actually wasn't that far out of line). Over a year ago (June or July) my sister revealed evil plans for my future and I have worried nonstop ever since. If Bill Cosby is a serial rapist, well who knows who else is what?
The one thing which makes me feel somewhat better is working outside, from which I have been hounded unmercifully all year. Soon after the weather got good enough to go out, I was stricken with severe creeping crud and not only felt lousy but coughed for months. I couldn't even do a simple job like dusting one bookshelf without coughing so hard I saw stars. Just as I began to recover, my niece graduated from college so I spent some time out of town for that. Then we had 100º+ weather every day for 16 days straight during which I could barely move. Around the time the weather improved, I had to drop everything to get ready for reunion weekend for my high school reunion during which we had 11, that is nine guests plus me and my mom. I had to let go most of the watering, but continued to water some climbing roses I transplanted which are not doing well. Somebody (no one admitted who) turned the sprinkler the wrong way, so it missed the roses on both ends and hit the shed window, soaking some cardboard boxes. The only person who expressed the least concern was my sisters' friend from England, because anything that happens, either to anything I care about, or that makes a mess causing me more work, is just a big joke to everybody, the reason being no matter how much more they have than I do, they don't think I deserve whatever I have.
The reunion went well, the weather was nice, I felt good, and wasn't too humiliated in front of my classmates through being less successful than most. Just as everyone left and I started trying to catch up on all I hadn't done so far this year, I developed a horrible pain in my back. I saw a chiropractor which improved a lot of it, but one place on the lower left side is absolutely awful--apparently a pinched nerve. The day before I went to the chiropractor I thought I'd try to do some outside work sitting on the ground, so I wouldn't have to bend over or lift much. After only half an hour it was all I could do to pull myself up using a post and stagger to the house howling in agony. Right after I left the chiropractor I went to the city cemetery to do some watering as usual with a 2-gallon can. I barely made it home in the car and collapsed on the couch for two hours. Also the 100º+ weather is back, doubtless to stay.
I ordered one of those Tens pain therapy units. The refills came Thursday, the batteries Friday, and I expected the unit itself Saturday, but no, they say it won't be here till next Saturday! I reached max gross load and went to the emergency room.
After my best helper passed away last fall (his grave is one of those I take care of) I tried to find others and got several nutses and yutzes. One very good, but he has gone to Kansas and says he may stay. Another very good, but can't do anything till September--my previous helper almost always came over the next day. Another really good, he is moving to Montana due to restrictive state laws. The other day I had to recruit a couple of LDS missionaries to carry out a trash can I couldn't lift. It was humiliating.
Repeat: gardening is the only way I take my mind off of how horrible everything is, and even that doesn't always work, and now I can barely do anything outside with the utmost caution! I just see everything being taken from me and have begun dreaming about how many of my things would fit in a shopping cart, what I would take, and where I would take it. I have a doctor's appointment on Monday.
People think I am a horrible person because I don't add big bucks to the economy, and some bastard has $50,000.00 to shoot a lion! Another bastard has $1.75 million to tear down Ray Bradbury's house which should have been the Sistine Chapel of literary shrines. (Which incidentally his heirs agreed to sell--another can of worms.) At least I can channel some of my aggression into hating their sorry guts! And have a nice day!