n_n: No need to explain or say you're not a slacker. No one thinks you are. You're out of work...so what? That doesn't automatically mean 'slacker' or whatever to right-thinking people. It just means you're having a rough trot...and that can happen to anyone, no matter how industrious or previously lucky.
You have skills. They may not be in such high demand right now, at least not where you are, but that won't last forever.
That's cold comfort, I know, but hang in there. It'll turn around for you, and you have the love, best wishes and support of everyone here. It might not be of direct practical use, but if it helps buoy you up, that's a win.
Try to be calm - a calm head sees things most clearly - and keep on fighting.
