If...

[Srbo]

If I had known I wouldn`t ever see you again after that night...I would have done anything to make those moments last longer.
I would have tried to make you laugh harder, my hand would have stayed longer on your shoulder, I would have listened to you more closely, I would be just a silly guy.
We wouldn`t talk anything serious, and I would have remembered the songs that have played then...
I wouldn`t be in a hurry to catch the train, the bus, the plane or whatever I was running after without a serious reason.
I thought I would see you tomorrow, or maybe next week, maybe even next month...
Maybe I even knew I wouldn`t see you again...but was running anyway, towards something that I thought was more important than you.
It wasn`t.
And here I am..still waiting for that tomorrow...which, now I know, is never going to come...

 

[fushingfeef]

You're not alone in this, Srbo. As long as there is death there will be regret.

 

[Moderator]

Let me know when your book of essays is ready--I'll be in the line to buy it!

 

[king family fan]

very touching ,Srbo. Good to see you posting. Hope all is well.

 

[blunthead]

If I had known I wouldn`t ever see you again after that night...I would have done anything to make those moments last longer.
I would have tried to make you laugh harder, my hand would have stayed longer on your shoulder, I would have listened to you more closely, I would be just a silly guy.
We wouldn`t talk anything serious, and I would have remembered the songs that have played then...
I wouldn`t be in a hurry to catch the train, the bus, the plane or whatever I was running after without a serious reason.
I thought I would see you tomorrow, or maybe next week, maybe even next month...
Maybe I even knew I wouldn`t see you again...but was running anyway, towards something that I thought was more important than you.
It wasn`t.
And here I am..still waiting for that tomorrow...which, now I know, is never going to come...

Curiously, this scene is pretty much exactly what I pictured when I wrote in the ????????? LiveWriting story about JohnDalglish entering his clearing.

 

[VultureLvr45]

((((SRBO))))... So sorry for your loss. I know it isn't much, but we are with you.

 

[Jojo87]

Good to see you Srbo. What a touching post. Please write the book if you haven't started already.

 

[Spideyman]

Srbo, once again you touch us with your words.
You know what I am about to say.... so please..... write that book! ( I'd treasure a copy too )

 

[skimom2]

Srbo, you have a beautiful soul. I think about just this, almost every day. The last time I saw my dad, I yelled, "Bye, Dad!" at the back of his head as I herded kids out my parents' front door. A day later, I finally understood why my mom has always insisted on a hug and a kiss when loved ones (and even friends) leave her house. I'd give a lot to go back and give him a hug instead of a shout. Thanks for the reminder, my friend.

 

[HollyGolightly]

Ga- that's lovely Srbo - I've been teetering on tears all day, and that tipped the scale. If only...

 

[mustangclaire]

Srbo, when ever I see a thread from you I know I'm going to be touched so much when I read it. So lovely to see you here.

 

[if-so-Grrl]

*hugs*

 

[king family fan]

*hugs*

Good to see you!

 

[kingricefan]

Thank you, my friend. Good to see you!

 

[GNTLGNT]

...so wonderful to see my brother Srbo visiting and my sea-faring lady fair--Grrrl...

 

[Srbo]

Hile my dear friends and thank you for the beautiful comments.
I mentioned in the Wherefore Art Thou. thread a while ago that my mom was unwell, well, she indeed had a heart-attack, barely survived that...the docs didn`t wanna tell her it was a heart attack until they weren`t sure she would live, didn`t wanna make her all upset...
So, she is on the mend at the moment, she has to take it really, really easy, can`t have any stress and such...but when it rains, it pours.
She got out of the hospital and 3 days later, her younger sister, my aunt, died, age 59. Out of the blue, nobody expected that. Yeah, she did suffer from diabetes and that is what killed her, but she didn`t feel bad or anything...she just died in the middle of the day while talking to my uncle who was visiting her. One moment she was there...and the next she wasn`t.
So of course, mom and the rest of the family, me included, are devastated, there is just too much death in my family and....well, I wrote this for all the people I have lost in my life. Family, friends, neighbors...
But also for those people who are still alive, but I just know I won`t ever see them again, it`s not gonna happen for one reason or another...
Thank you so much for being there for me, I wish I could do something for you, my friends...
I love you all.

 

[Jojo87]

((((Srbo))) I am so sorry to hear about your aunt. My thoughts and prayers for you and your family. It's so sad.
Prayers for your mom too that she recover completely. (((Srbo and family))))

 

[Dana Jean]

{{{Srbo}}} I am so sorry for the stress. I'm so sorry for the loss. Hope momma is doing well now.

 

[HollyGolightly]

So sorry to hear this Srbo. Take care - wishing your mom well.

 

[fushingfeef]

Sorry about your Aunt, Srbo. This has to be rough on your mother as well, so I send my love to her as well.

The last time I saw my dad...I was about this close to telling him off and getting into a really big argument. He had said some really hurtful things to my sister, and though I stood by her side and comforted her, I bit my tongue that day and told myself I was the better man. After all, he had been saying and doing hurtful things his entire life, and I wasn't going to change anything by getting into it with him--I'd tried it before, and it never changed things anyway. I did best with him by keeping him at arm's length.

Next time I saw him he was in the morgue. You know what's funny? Sometimes I regret NOT telling him off that one last time.