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This place will be good for you I think, it was probably the place that he spent most of his online time at... other than his favourite brewing site, that is.
Naters was just such a damn fine young man. He had such respect for people and he was a real gentleman... he was somebody that would look out for you and he made you feel safe to have him in your corner. (There are stories from the very first King Kon, where he would walk the ladies back to their rooms to see them home safely, he just cared about people.)
Nate and I had gotten to know each other fairly slowly at first, just sharing a love of the same books, music and TV/movies. Then a few years ago I went through some terribly hard times with close family and friends... I was at a very low point and just struggling to keep my head up. Somehow he saw it and reached out and he just started talking to me every day. Eventually one day he talked me into trying to Skype, I was terrified and very nearly didn't do it... I had the house to myself one afternoon and thought, oh what the hell, if it freaks me out, I won't ever have to do it again.
Well, he poured himself one of his home brews and I got a DB Draught from the fridge and we toasted each other, Stephen King and the MB in general and we spent nearly an hour and a half just laughing and being idiots.
We played tic-tac-toe with pens and paper via Skype... and from that day we just chatted, sometimes for most of the day/or night, whatever time it was... we were a world away from each other and our daylight hours were strange and differing. We became great buddies and I think we just trusted in each other and supported one another whenever there was a need.
He got me through my mum's heart surgeries, he got me through a child's traumatising experiences and kept me sane while I was on suicide watch.
I think I got him to believe that one day he would find love, that there was someone out there for him... he had gotten to the point where he was thinking it wouldn't happen and that he might not be someone who could handle the responsibility of a family. I told him that I thought he was wrong about that, I wanted him to understand that he would grow right along with his children once they came along... he just had to keep being the person that he was.
Nate was so good with people, he didn't realise just how good he was... in person, it was always a lot harder for him, but people loved him so much and they valued him, I just wanted him to see that.
I think he finally believed it... we can't know if Nate found his one and only, Erin, but I fully believe that at the time he left us, with Jamie in his life, he loved and was loved in return.
This August feels like a physical thing... he is everywhere, in each song, he's at every river, in all the sunsets and rises, he's on the beach, in the woods and in the words of every book I read. And he's in our hearts. I'm really happy to have you here, Erin. ♥
Erin- you done a d*mn fine job raising that boy of yours! Nate was one of a kind and he is truly, deeply missed here but he is not forgotten and he will always be a part of our family. You are welcomed with wide open arms and warm, but heavy, hearts. I cannot imagine how you are feeling as we get closer to the anniversary but know that many of us here have broad shoulders that you may lay your head upon and share your feelings with. Just know that you are not alone in your grief. Hang on to those sweet memories of your boy. Never forget his laughter. Keep taking that journey to the Dark Tower. Don't be afraid- Nate is walking it right along with you, whispering in your ear 'Wait till you get to this part.' He's with you, always.
Welcome - your post brought me to tears - I met your son in 2014 in Ohio - what a true gentleman he was ((((Nate's Mom))))
I am so sorry for your loss
Welcome Erin! I'm so happy to see you here. Your son was such a kind, gentle man. He was one of the first people I met here, and he had such compassion-he was so good to talk with. He was a good friend, IS a good soul. I'm glad you're here.
Nate's Mom,
So nice to meet you We all miss Nate and his kindness. Thank you for raising such a polite, sweet son. I don't pretend to imagine what you're going through, but I hope you will find peace and solace by being here, among Nate's friends. We are well met.
Welcome, Nate's Mom. My heart breaks for you and all the people whose lives were touched by your precious child. He sounds like such a special, caring person. It is wonderful that you have found your way to this board, too. As you have already seen, you will be met with open arms, much love, and never-ending support.
welcome. sorry for your loss. i wasn't around when nate was, but based on all these lovely comments, he seems like he was a good guy.
....all have mentioned his excellent qualities, and deservedly so-but, and I believe I posted this elsewhere-for me, Nate's biggest gift was also what we kidded him about-his quietness...Nate listened......he listened and did not judge, which is a rare gift.....and when he did speak, it was with an economy of words-and more often than not, a very apt comment on what you had been relating to him.....me being me, I can never shut the hell up, but I AM trying to channel my "inner Nate" and be a better listener....
That is the most beautiful and touching intro I have ever seen or emotionally felt here. I'm a mother and I fear to even begin to imagine what you are going through right now. I'm glad that you are here, I believe that you are meant to be. He lives through you and all who love him and his presence here is very strong. You make it even stronger. (((((Erin)))))
I'm so sorry it was upsetting... (I was in tears writing it) this is just an awful, all-consuming thing for you to try and get through. (((Erin))) I feel very thankful for our friendship, life was richer for having known him so.***
I keep trying to write a response to your post, but everytime I try, the tears start flowing. So I try to compose myself ... and I re-read your beautiful post ... and there I am crying again. But I'm going to give it another try -
Your description of the friendship that you and Nate formed, well, it soothes my broken heart. It makes me so happy to know that he had you in his life, and to know that you were "there" for each other, even though you are half a world away. Of course I wish that you had been able to meet in person. But the distance between you does not - in any way - diminish your friendship. It is clear you were very special and important to each other. Thank you for loving my son. His friendship must mean so much to you.
I know what you mean about this month, I feel him all around me, permeating the atmosphere ... and it both consoles me and eviscerates me, all at once.
Hi Nate's Mom , Erin. I am one of the elder members of the SKMB in years being a member, and in just plain "years of age". Two things in common with Nate- his love of critters, and The Dark Tower. I have several rescued and special need critters, and always enjoyed reading Nate's replies when I mentioned them.
Being one who read the DT books as published, it is a journey like no other. It is a life changer-- this you will see. Nate laughed when I posted about how I almost lost my job over the DT long wait in publication at one point. You will become one with each character. You'll find favorites. This is a journey not just a set of books. You will find Nate in so many places. He will guide you well on the path.
I am so happy you found this new family. I send you love and green lights.
I'm so sorry it was upsetting... (I was in tears writing it) this is just an awful, all-consuming thing for you to try and get through. (((Erin))) I feel very thankful for our friendship, life was richer for having known him so.
I think the Dark Tower journey you've stepped into will be very cathartic, I hope you can give yourself over to the characters and whole DT scene... it can transport you, and having another focus right now... could be a good thing. And like others have said, Nate has walked this path... he'll be with you.
(I can't wait for you to meet a certain character... his humour reminded me of Nate... the goofy, tease-you-til-you wanna-smack-him... Nate.)
One thing... maybe try not to read any Dark Tower threads here on the MB, there are enormous spoilers everywhere, and for your first time on the path... I so want you to experience it at your own pace.
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I'm afraid this is the only image I have of Nate
Not sure if you've seen this one, but I wanted to post it, as he looks very handsome in this shot
p.s. I have a 31 year old son myself and don't know what I would do if he was taken away from me so suddenly - my sincere condolences, Erin
No need to apologize ... you have a kind and beautiful soul ... and it shows through in your writing. No wonder Nate was drawn to you.
I think you are right, and that I will find this Dark Tower journey cathartic. I believe that I will. Already, I've wondered what Nate thought about parts of the first book, and I still haven't even finished it.
Thanks for the heads up about the DT threads on the MB; I won't read them.
I sent this one through to Jamie in the early days, I'm sorry you didn't get a copy of it. (Do you recognise the t.shirt he's wearing?)I don't think I've seen this photo of Nate. Thank you for sharing it. He does look handsome
There's nothing that can ever prepare us for the death of a child. I still can't believe he's no longer walking this earth. Thank you for your condolences. <3
Where are you up to in The Gunslinger? (I'll pick it up and join you on the path.)
I sent this one through to Jamie in the early days, I'm sorry you didn't get a copy of it. (Do you recognise the t.shirt he's wearing?)