Jokes

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kingzeppelin

kingzeppelin

Member who probably should be COMMITTED!
Apr 15, 2012
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Oxfordshire, UK
What can a goose do that a duck can't, but a lawyer should?
Shove its bill up its ass!

A wife asked her husband, "What do you like most about me, my pretty face or my sexy body?"
He looked at her from head to toe and replied,
"I like your sense of humor!"

Why is a joke like sex?
Neither is any good if you don't get it.
 
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kingzeppelin

kingzeppelin

Member who probably should be COMMITTED!
Apr 15, 2012
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20,496
Oxfordshire, UK
A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa..
"The material that we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago..red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode the stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. However, there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we have all eaten, or will eat it.
Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most pain and suffering years after eating it?"
There was a short period of silence then a 75 year old man in the front row raised his hand, and said softly..
"Wedding Cake!"
 
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FlakeNoir

FlakeNoir

Original Kiwi© SKMB®
Moderator
Apr 11, 2006
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kingzeppelin said:
A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa..
"The material that we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago..red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode the stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. However, there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we have all eaten, or will eat it.
Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most pain and suffering years after eating it?"
There was a short period of silence then a 75 year old man in the front raised his hand, and said softly..
"Wedding Cake!"
Click to expand...
:rofl:
 
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kingzeppelin

kingzeppelin

Member who probably should be COMMITTED!
Apr 15, 2012
7,441
20,496
Oxfordshire, UK
A young boy had just gotten his driving permit.
He asked his Father, who was a Minister, if they could discuss the use of the car.
His Father took him to his study and said to him, "I'll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study your Bible a little and get your haircut and we'll talk about it."
After about a month the boy came back and asked again, his Father if they could discuss use of the car. They again went to the Father's study where his Father said, "Son, I've been real proud of you. You have brought your grades up, you've studied your Bible diligently, but, you didn't get your haircut!"
The young man waited a moment and replied, "You know Dad, I've been thinking about that. You know, Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair............ "
To which his Father replied.......
"Yes, and they walked every where."
 
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kingzeppelin

kingzeppelin

Member who probably should be COMMITTED!
Apr 15, 2012
7,441
20,496
Oxfordshire, UK
images
 
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