Saw a poster saying 'sex is great at 60'. Which is good, I live at number 56.
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Just goes to show, life can be funny, eh?I've actually seen this joke written as an actual event on facebook a while ago. The comments were hilarious. Mine was 'copyright of Chubby Brown circa 1984'
Guess this is as good a place as any to share my favourite bad joke.
Two guys are talking and one of them asks the other about his dog, who had been to the vet recently.
"Hey so how's your dog doing?"
"Yeah, he's doing okay. He's wearing glasses now."
"Don't bullsh*t me, dogs don't wear glasses."
"I'm telling you he does now."
"I was there just last week, how come I didn't see him wearing glasses then?"
"He only needs them for reading."
Hey, I told you it was bad.
Upon arriving home, a husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, “It’s the pharmacist. He insulted me terribly this morning on the phone.”
Immediately the husband drove downtown to confront the pharmacist and demand an apology.
Before he could say more than a few words, the druggist told him, “Now, just a minute, please listen to my side of it…
This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, just to realize that I locked the house with both house and car keys inside. I had to break a window to get my keys. Then, driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket.”
He continued, “Later, about three blocks from the store, I had a flat tire. When I got to the store there was a bunch of people waiting for me to open up. I opened and started waiting on these people, and all the time the darn phone was ringing off the hook.”
He continued, “Then I had to break a roll of nickels against the cash register drawer to make change, and they spilled all over the floor. I got down on my hands and knees to pick up the nickels; the phone was still ringing. When I came up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which made me stagger back against a showcase with bunch of perfume bottles on it…all of them hit the floor and broke.
Meanwhile, the phone is still ringing with no let up, and I finally got to answer it. It was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer…and, honest mister, all I did was tell her!