I do not lie to hurt anyone. Sometimes, it is kinder to lie.
Lies
- Thread starter not_nadine
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Well said, staro! Very true and exactly how I feel as well.
Neesy
#1 fan (Annie Wilkes cousin) 1st cousin Mom's side
Yes - my previous spouse - he had this habit of intentionally leaving out a little bit of information or leading you to believe something then saying no, he did not lie - it was awful!
It took about 10 years but I finally got sick of the mistrust and always wondering how much of the truth he had twisted to get whatever it was he wanted.
It's like a cancer in a way - it eats away at you until finally you cannot stand it any more - why can't people just be up front and honest?
Also, being raised that to lie was wrong makes me feel very guilty if I try to tell a lie, for whatever reason - I'm awful at it!
Neesy
#1 fan (Annie Wilkes cousin) 1st cousin Mom's side
I can sort of see both sides of this (sorry to be an intermediary) - if the person believes in an afterlife and you do too, then to say "it's going to be alright" would actually be the truth
"Everybody lies." - Dr. Gregory House
People - and pretty much all animals, for that matter - tend to take the path of least resistance.
People - and pretty much all animals, for that matter - tend to take the path of least resistance.
I usually just say the painting is interesting... which isn't exactly a lie lol. I try not to lie but I do lie to children so their feelings won't be hurt... y'know like when some meanie has told them they're ugly - or something like that - and they ask me about it.
I've lied to get out of work...
and I'm self employed.
When nosy people ask me questions about other people, I tell them, "Don't ask me" They think I mean I don't know the answer but I actually mean I don't want to be asked about it 
I don't lie well as an adult (I was a lying fool as a kid--lol) because my face shows everything, but I've learned the art of being polite. In this situation, I focus on a positive: "Wow, your use of color is interesting!" "I like that curve there." "You're really dedicated--I'm glad painting makes you happy." This works, and is not a lie! I do it with babies all the time. If you're being honest, newborns aren't pretty. My MIL was shocked when I said that my first born looked exactly like a little turtle (lol), but he DID. They get pretty later (2-3 months), but being pushed out of the Play-Doh fun factory of life is hell, and babies look it. BUT! they are all precious (not a lie), and I have yet to meet one that doesn't have SOMETHING positive to comment on (size, hair, hands, whatever).
Depends on your definition of 'all right', I think. I wouldn't lie and say, "You're going to live" if they clearly weren't, but 'all right' is nebulous. Will life go on when they die? Yep. Will their loved ones okay? Likely. Can they stop hanging on (if that's the case) and rest? Yes. What happens after that is up for debate, and I'm not interested in doing that here, but most things will be 'all right', ultimately.
I try not to lie, because I find it to be disrespectful. Being lied to makes me crazy. It means that not only do you disrespect me, but you think I'm stupid to boot.
Play-Doh fun factory. I am so stealing this and using it. Absolutely brilliant and true.
My youngest son looked like grandpa munster. Ugly baby.
My oldest looked Chinese. Seriously Chinese. In fact, so Chinese, my husband accused me of having an affair with the Schwan man -- who, by the way, was not Chinese. He was a pretty baby.
I stole it from somewhere myself--maybe Robin Williams? I know I heard it years ago and it made me laughPlay-Doh fun factory. I am so stealing this and using it. Absolutely brilliant and true.
My youngest son looked like grandpa munster. Ugly baby.
My oldest looked Chinese. Seriously Chinese. In fact, so Chinese, my husband accused me of having an affair with the Schwan man -- who, by the way, was not Chinese. He was a pretty baby.
Babies get cute, after a few weeks, newborns...not so much.I got in trouble with my mother once, at the grocery store. I took one look at the baby in the cart in front of us and blurted out, "He looks exactly like Rodney Dangerfield!" ( he did!) then about fell over laughing. The mother was not amused. My mother was not amused. I still couldn't stop laughing.
It is hard not to laugh. And people are just appalled, go figure. One of my friends had a baby that looked like Peter Lorre. Creepy looking baby.I stole it from somewhere myself--maybe Robin Williams? I know I heard it years ago and it made me laugh
I got in trouble with my mother once, at the grocery store. I took one look at the baby in the cart in front of us and blurted out, "He looks exactly like Rodney Dangerfield!" ( he did!) then about fell over laughing. The mother was not amused. My mother was not amused. I still couldn't stop laughing.
I try to avoid it (lying) but it has happened. I have called in sick when i only was really tired and wanted a free day. I find when you find yourself in a tight spot (hurt afriend or lie) it often works to be polite.
"If person you knew painted a really horrible painting and asked your opinion. Would you tell him or her that you think the painting is crap? Ot would tell that person a a half-truth or an outright lie to spare their feelings?"
This is where things get difficult, IMO. No artistic rendition of anything is true crap, it's just (your) perception of it and it's perfectly OK to think something looks raunchy. It's why I'm still floored when I watch Antiques Roadshow and see gorgeous pieces that are worth zilch and the most God awful looking glass duck statue that would haunt my nightmares until I died of old age is worth millions.
As a teen I was heavily involved in the arts and many of my classmates painted things that, to me, were gloomy, depressing and downright fugly, and if asked the best comment I could come up with was that it was rather unique and I'd ask the artist to tell me more about it.
As far as general lying, yes I have and no I'm not proud of it. When it comes to my closest inner circle, I would much rather be told the hard truth than be lied to out of sparing my feelings, yet when someone I'm not close to tells me the truth and doesn't spare my feelings it hurts MY feelings. Human emotions are quite strange sometimes.
I do see a lot of good in using that old compliment sandwich thing; if you've got to tell someone that they look ridiculous or did something incredibly stupid, start out by pointing out something good, say what you have to say, and end on another good note. It doesn't completely avoid the possibility of hurting someone's feelings, but what needs to be said gets said and (hopefully) it softens the blow.
For instance, I could tell an employee "you really suck at paperwork", or I could tell them that they did a tremendous job of cleaning up and organizing the front desk and it looks superb...maybe when we get some free moments we could go over the multi-tasking when it comes to filing, answering phones, etc as you seem to get flustered. Also, you did a great job handling Mr. X when he came in with a complaint."
It sounds cheesy and stuff, but some people get defensive when they're outright told they suck at something...I know I have before, and it really means a lot to me when the person doing the dirty job attempts to actually help me with it vs. just complaining about it. Hope this makes sense.
This is where things get difficult, IMO. No artistic rendition of anything is true crap, it's just (your) perception of it and it's perfectly OK to think something looks raunchy. It's why I'm still floored when I watch Antiques Roadshow and see gorgeous pieces that are worth zilch and the most God awful looking glass duck statue that would haunt my nightmares until I died of old age is worth millions.
As a teen I was heavily involved in the arts and many of my classmates painted things that, to me, were gloomy, depressing and downright fugly, and if asked the best comment I could come up with was that it was rather unique and I'd ask the artist to tell me more about it.
As far as general lying, yes I have and no I'm not proud of it. When it comes to my closest inner circle, I would much rather be told the hard truth than be lied to out of sparing my feelings, yet when someone I'm not close to tells me the truth and doesn't spare my feelings it hurts MY feelings. Human emotions are quite strange sometimes.
I do see a lot of good in using that old compliment sandwich thing; if you've got to tell someone that they look ridiculous or did something incredibly stupid, start out by pointing out something good, say what you have to say, and end on another good note. It doesn't completely avoid the possibility of hurting someone's feelings, but what needs to be said gets said and (hopefully) it softens the blow.
For instance, I could tell an employee "you really suck at paperwork", or I could tell them that they did a tremendous job of cleaning up and organizing the front desk and it looks superb...maybe when we get some free moments we could go over the multi-tasking when it comes to filing, answering phones, etc as you seem to get flustered. Also, you did a great job handling Mr. X when he came in with a complaint."
It sounds cheesy and stuff, but some people get defensive when they're outright told they suck at something...I know I have before, and it really means a lot to me when the person doing the dirty job attempts to actually help me with it vs. just complaining about it. Hope this makes sense.
It is hard not to laugh. And people are just appalled, go figure. One of my friends had a baby that looked like Peter Lorre. Creepy looking baby.
I try hard not to lie. However, if everyone is saying they like something that I consider ugly...best not to say something that not cause hurt feelings.
The vast majority of the people in my life do not want my unfiltered self. They very much prefer my polite, quiet, diplomatic and refined public face to my blunt, brutal, sarcastic and bitchy reality. Talking to most people, for me, is like negotiating a verbal mine field; so I have a teeny tiny social circle of complete psychos that I can be myself with, and everyone else has this mixed up idea of who they think I am. So either I'm too private or two faced, whichever way you choose to see it. 
I have called in sick before when I needed a "mental health day," but not very often. I have also been known to make up "plans" for myself when the boss asks if I'd be willing to come in on the weekend, if I know that it's really not necessary. She tends to panic and overreact to things, but I've been there for 11 years, and can tell when there's a true "emergency" or not. It's not like we're a hospital. But yeah, I guess that makes me a bad person. I just really, really value my free time. 40 hours should be enough. Clearly, I am not ambitious or a workaholic. 