oh lord who knows whether I'm posting this right LOL

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Sam Cel Roman

New Member
Aug 31, 2015
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LOL this is so complicated, so sorry if I'm pissing off anyone operating this website

Hi there,

First, let me say thank you!! Your books have been a gift to me over the years, and I thank you for writing each and every one of them. I can't say I've read everything you ever wrote, but it's pretty darn close ;)

Secondly, mega triple thanks for your book "On Writing". Before I became a writer, I read that darn book three times at least. Definitely helped me. On the morning I sat down and quit ****ing around and got to the deadly serious business of writing my book, I was shaking and crying - scared TO death. I took your advice and literally wrote "Writer" on a piece of paper and pinned it to my shirt. That **** works, man, so thank god you put it in there.

Third, I wanted to address something that has been bugging me since the 1980s, but it took me until recently to figure it out. Back in those days, me and my whole family were reading - and loving - your books, but I could never figure out why so many bigwig prominent people, critics, newspapers, literary reviews, et al, were always on your ass. Why? Jealous of your success? That was part of it, of course, but there had to be something else.

Well, here's my thoughts about it. Yeah, you're a good writer, in fact you're damn good, but you're not a GREAT writer. Shakespeare, Faulkner, a bunch more in other languages, yeah those guys were wizards, possessed by some muse, channeling the words from a land beyond time and space. Awesome for them, but that's no slur on you. You're a damn good writer and there ain't nothing to apologize for about that. No sir.

But what makes you truly special is you are a master STORYTELLER. Ah, that's the difference. The fancypants folks hated you for not being literary enough, or James Joyce obtuse enough, and I get that. Honestly, the formula for being a lauded writer is simple:

half good story + half mystical nonsensical ****

Seriously, read Mukagawa or that Turkish writer (something Orhuk), or 100 years of Solitude (GG Marquez), or that Coelho moron (Alchemist), or anyone else who gets all the accolades and that's the ****ing formula - half a good cracking story and then the other half of the book bizarre and unnecessary segues into weird, mystical **** about dreams and colors and whatever else LOL

But storytelling? Ah, there's no respect there, even though you are the ****ING BEST. Yeah, that is the truth with no mustard on it. Shakespeare is cool, but honestly, sometimes his plays are a real snore. And so on and so forth, even for all the great writers.

Storytelling gets no respect, but it should. It's older than writing. It's a fundamental part of EVERY culture. Even if tomorrow some white missionaries find a long lost tribe in the jungle, you can bet your bottom dollar that those "savages" truly love (and usually respect!) sitting around swapping tales, telling stories, spinning yarns. That's the fundamental stuff of ALL humanity.

And yah, we all tell stories. Well, guess what? We all write too, even if it's to scribble out a grocery list. But who, pray tell, are the master storytellers now that the guys who wrote Beowulf and the Odyssey are part of a profession that doesn't even exist anymore (bard)?

Most all of the living master storytellers are singers or songwriters, like Pete Seeger or Woodie Guthrie (well ok, they're dead too LOL but you know what I mean - maybe Eddie Vedder of Pearl Jam is a better example). Hell, that's why Bob Dylan is loved so much even to this day, 'cuz it damn sure ain't his sweet singing voice LOL - nah, the guy picked up the Guthrie/Leadbelly tradition of telling a damn STORY in their songs, and that's what ALL people love. LOVE LOVE LOVE.

So, there you go. That's what it took me 30 years to figure out. Have a good one, sir, and keep on writing books 'cuz I'll damn sure be reading 'em with relish :)

-Sam

PS - Oh, just one more thing. In your book, you talk about excavating a fossil as a metaphor for getting that flash of inspiration and then actually sitting down and making sure you get it all out - and onto paper.

Awesome metaphor, but to me, strangely enough, it always feels like hitting a baseball. My dad and grandpa are huge fans of baseball (and I hear you are one too), but me not so much, so no idea why it's a baseball analogy that comes to my mind.

The way I "see" it starts out with seeing the pitcher wind up and release. And then I get tunnel vision, where time slows down, and I can see that ball moving at Matrix-style super slow speed towards me. So I've got time, maybe hours, maybe days, even weeks, to get ready to hit that sucker.

But my job, the writing part, is to hit that ball DEAD ON. If I screw up, I'll whiff completely or else it's gonna fly off foul. But after writing for so many years, I know I can at least get a lousy single out of it. The question is though, if I want to do it right: will I hit it smack dab right in the sweet spot, seeing it lift up, soar, and fly out of the damn stadium? Home run writing is what I call it when I feel that it comes out, not just close to perfect, but PERFECT.

So, to continue my analogy, I've yet to attempt a huge multi-book piece like your Gunslinger series, but I imagine it's like setting up a grand slam. First, you got to get all the first books in the series to bunt or get a decent hit so that they can get on base. And then that last book, the one that ties it all together, has to be JUST PERFECT. If you get it, bam, GRAND SLAM, clear the decks, ball out of the stadium, home team wins, see ya later, crowd goes wild :)

Ok, this is the real end to my message. Thanks again, and keep up the good work!
 

GNTLGNT

The idiot is IN
Jun 15, 2007
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