- "We play music as well as Metallica writes novels." -Dave Barry
- "Rock Bottom Remainders? Who the hell are they?" -Kirk Hammett, Metallica
- "I picked up one of the two guitars I'd been using, and just as we were about to start, Stephen King tapped me on the shoulder and said, 'We have a special guest.' I turned around, and there was Bruce Springsteen. I still don't know how he came to be at this convention; I don't believe he's a bookseller. All I know is, he was picking up the other guitar. My guitar. 'Bruce,' I said to him. 'Do you know the guitar part to Gloria?' This is like asking James Michener if he knows how to write his name." – Dave Barry
- "Your band's not too bad. It's not too good either. Don't let it get any better, otherwise you'll just be another lousy band." -Bruce Springsteen
- "People are throwing panties at you. They certainly never do that at my book-signings." -Matt Groening
- "There's an audience out there, and the key is to kick it in the ass." -Stephen King
- "Roy actually coined the term for our genre of music; 'hard-listening music.' " -Dave Barry
- "Most people seem to think critics are as useful as tits on a priest." -Joel Selvin
Houdini in Omaha