And some of us hope he never does read this board because he might just develop a cretin character in some story, based on our personas, that will forever be castigated and hated.
Sending A Letter To Mr. King
- Thread starter Suzi Graham
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....and we shall call him Joe.......And some of us hope he never does read this board because he might just develop a cretin character in some story, based on our personas, that will forever be castigated and hated.
I'm changing my name to Wurst.....and we shall call him Joe.......
....fitting, since the character is also a brat.....I'm changing my name to Wurst.
....with a liver problem, and a blood issue......
GNT has now added another eternal punishment fitting the crimes of sinners in the Nine circles of Hell... Bad puns.
Someone had to do it. Triple O hasn't been around this morning.GNT has now added another eternal punishment fitting the crimes of sinners in the Nine circles of Hell... Bad puns.
I kinda like that fact that he brings along a deli tray.
That should be a tip-off right there that it's not this Stephen King.
Something tells me I should refrain from making a tongue-in-cheek reply to this.
Something tells me I should refrain from making a tongue-in-cheek reply to this.
Dear Mr. King,
Gee, you write some nifty books. Some really scary ones, too. One time I got so scared, I was afraid to get up in the middle of the night to use the toilet. I kept thinking some monster was a'gonna try talking to me from the drain in the sink. So I waited and waited, and finally pee'd in the laundry hamper I keep near the bed. Gosh, mom sure got mad about that! She made me sleep on the back porch for the rest of the summer. One night a screech owl came and grabbed ahold of my nose--I guess he thought it was a mouse. Wow, did that ever hurt! I still have scars where the stupid bird's claws gripped my snozz.
Do you like birds? I betcha don't. I read a couple of your books that had big scary birds in em, so I guess maybe you think birds are scary too. Speaking of birds, thanksgiving is coming up, and mom always makes a big fat turkey with all the trimmings so maybe if you're hungry you and Tabby can come have dinner with us. We always have plenty extra--even pumpkin pie. But don't touch the cranberry sauce. Cranberry sauce is my favorite and I never share it, so don't even try. I mean it, dang you, I'll get really mad if you try eating my cranberry sauce.
Please send me a dozen autographed eight by ten glossy photos of yourself, and a complete set of signed hardbacks of all your books. You can even sign some Dean Koontz books and send me those. And hurry up or I'll start telling people we ain't friends no more.
Sincerely,
Cecil G. Musketache
p.s. I seen all your movies...all except Shawshank Redemption 'cause it don't have any big scary bird monsters in it.
Gee, you write some nifty books. Some really scary ones, too. One time I got so scared, I was afraid to get up in the middle of the night to use the toilet. I kept thinking some monster was a'gonna try talking to me from the drain in the sink. So I waited and waited, and finally pee'd in the laundry hamper I keep near the bed. Gosh, mom sure got mad about that! She made me sleep on the back porch for the rest of the summer. One night a screech owl came and grabbed ahold of my nose--I guess he thought it was a mouse. Wow, did that ever hurt! I still have scars where the stupid bird's claws gripped my snozz.
Do you like birds? I betcha don't. I read a couple of your books that had big scary birds in em, so I guess maybe you think birds are scary too. Speaking of birds, thanksgiving is coming up, and mom always makes a big fat turkey with all the trimmings so maybe if you're hungry you and Tabby can come have dinner with us. We always have plenty extra--even pumpkin pie. But don't touch the cranberry sauce. Cranberry sauce is my favorite and I never share it, so don't even try. I mean it, dang you, I'll get really mad if you try eating my cranberry sauce.
Please send me a dozen autographed eight by ten glossy photos of yourself, and a complete set of signed hardbacks of all your books. You can even sign some Dean Koontz books and send me those. And hurry up or I'll start telling people we ain't friends no more.
Sincerely,
Cecil G. Musketache
p.s. I seen all your movies...all except Shawshank Redemption 'cause it don't have any big scary bird monsters in it.
....another Encyclopedia Muskitannica classic....."bird monsters"...*snort*
Could you send me the address anyway, please? It's something I need to send off, just in case. It's very special, for my husband. I at least have to try. I hope you'll understand. Thank you for taking the time to reply.