Shameless (?) Self promotion

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jlfullerton

Active Member
Jan 9, 2012
29
175
Hi guys (n gals!). I, like so many others on here, have been inspired by Master King all my life and I'm finally putting pen to paper (or finger to key, I suppose), please take a moment tell me what you think of my flash fiction piece, "The Harvest" (at the top-J.L. Fullerton). I welcome all feedback, good or bad.

Goodnight all!

Paper Butterfly Flash Fiction
 

GNTLGNT

The idiot is IN
Jun 15, 2007
87,651
358,754
62
Cambridge, Ohio
Hi guys (n gals!). I, like so many others on here, have been inspired by Master King all my life and I'm finally putting pen to paper (or finger to key, I suppose), please take a moment tell me what you think of my flash fiction piece, "The Harvest" (at the top-J.L. Fullerton). I welcome all feedback, good or bad.

Goodnight all!

Paper Butterfly Flash Fiction
...I applaud the story concept....my only critique would be the over the top descriptives....way to many...
 
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jlfullerton

Active Member
Jan 9, 2012
29
175
...I applaud the story concept....my only critique would be the over the top descriptives....way to many...
That's been a common feedback.. I think I need to focus on telling the tale straight ahead.. Death by adjective I think king once said, or dead by pronoun perhaps?

Thank you for taking the time!
 

mal

content
Jun 23, 2007
4,714
27,243
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Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
Howdy jlfullerton! I am in no position to critique but I agree that it was overly descriptive, you can do more with less. I liked the double meaning of furrow/furrowed, if that was intended. The soil would still be chunky after the discs went through, not fine powder. I liked the feel of the tale and could imagine that field under the big blue. I liked the mystery of the object in the field and his reaction to it. It leaves me, as the reader, able to paint any picture I like. All in all, it's got a good beat that you can dance to. Go Stamps! (or Esks!) All the best, mal.
 

jlfullerton

Active Member
Jan 9, 2012
29
175
Howdy jlfullerton! I am in no position to critique but I agree that it was overly descriptive, you can do more with less. I liked the double meaning of furrow/furrowed, if that was intended. The soil would still be chunky after the discs went through, not fine powder. I liked the feel of the tale and could imagine that field under the big blue. I liked the mystery of the object in the field and his reaction to it. It leaves me, as the reader, able to paint any picture I like. All in all, it's got a good beat that you can dance to. Go Stamps! (or Esks!) All the best, mal.

I didn't expect someone on here to know CFL teams--where are you from?
 
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jlfullerton

Active Member
Jan 9, 2012
29
175
Ps.. Thank you all for taking the time to read my work.. It lends me confidence to keep going. Typos and mistakes are my fault.. I thought the woman publishing it had corrected them, should have checked more carefully.
 
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