So, what did you all do during the break?

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ghost19

ghost19

"Have I run too far to get home?"
Sep 25, 2011
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cat in a bag said:
Oh this just makes me so happy to read. It sounds like you are handling everything just right. I wish nothing but the best for you and your son, your new lady and hers. Take each day as it comes with patience and kindness (I have no doubt that you will) and do not get discouraged if there are bumps along the way.

You are good people, Sir Ghost.
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Thank you ma'am. I don't think I'm good people, but apparently she does...until she gets to know me better then all bets are off most likely. I think she likes my son more than me....they've become quite chummy...lol she knows how to play the guitar which is fascinating to him although he never told me he was interested in that type of thing so she's taught him a couple of chords....HEY! anyone see me over in the corner here? Anyone want to know how to field strip a rifle? No? Really? Just gonna sit there and talk guitar, huh? Ok, I'll just play with the 2 year old, he likes to run around and wrestle, easily amused much like myself...
 
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GNTLGNT

GNTLGNT

The idiot is IN
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ghost19 said:
Thank you ma'am. I don't think I'm good people, but apparently she does...until she gets to know me better then all bets are off most likely. I think she likes my son more than me....they've become quite chummy...lol she knows how to play the guitar which is fascinating to him although he never told me he was interested in that type of thing so she's taught him a couple of chords....HEY! anyone see me over in the corner here? Anyone want to know how to field strip a rifle? No? Really? Just gonna sit there and talk guitar, huh? Ok, I'll just play with the 2 year old, he likes to run around and wrestle, easily amused much like myself...
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....see, that's what makes it evident that you are good people with a truly loving heart.....those that do, never think they're worth a mouse fart to anyone else...
 
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cat in a bag

cat in a bag

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ghost19 said:
Thank you ma'am. I don't think I'm good people, but apparently she does...until she gets to know me better then all bets are off most likely. I think she likes my son more than me....they've become quite chummy...lol she knows how to play the guitar which is fascinating to him although he never told me he was interested in that type of thing so she's taught him a couple of chords....HEY! anyone see me over in the corner here? Anyone want to know how to field strip a rifle? No? Really? Just gonna sit there and talk guitar, huh? Ok, I'll just play with the 2 year old, he likes to run around and wrestle, easily amused much like myself...
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See, the guitar thing is good, that is something they can bond over without being some overbearing, constantly on their minds type thing, if that makes sense!

Blending families is hard work. I was a single mom when I met my husband, and in our case there was just one child, not two. We probably rushed things, were married 4 months after meeting and added a baby to the family a month before our first anniversary. It was all very overwhelming for Brandon...I was not thinking of him reacting to the change, when it had always just been the two of us. I was just thinking that he was finally going to have a father.

We definitely had some bumps and growing pains, me included! But it can and does work out! Brandon has always been the best big brother and now, a wonderful father in his own right to RJ.

So I guess what I'm taking so long to say ;-D is that it takes work and patience to blend families together but it is very worth it in the end.
 
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Neesy

Neesy

#1 fan (Annie Wilkes cousin) 1st cousin Mom's side
May 24, 2012
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ghost19 said:
Thank you Neesy. I hope you had a good break ma'am. So far we're just taking that part slow, she has a 2 year old son, her ex died just a few months after their son was born. My son is 12 but used to be 2 long ago, so although I'm rusty, I've tried very hard to include her son when I'm around. I think I'm just an interesting jungle gym to him for the most part but he'll actually run up to me and let me pick him up now which I think is at least progress. My son is a bit more complicated. He very much seems to like her, but it's strange. I think he's not too keen on watching me roughhouse or sit with her son while we're all talking. I include my son in everything as far as us all conversing but I think it's been he and I for so long that he's just not used to seeing me 1)spending time with a woman, and 2)definitely not used to a rambunctious 2-year old being part of the landscape. I've been very careful to keep him in the loop during the last few weeks, just to try and explain what's happening, but it's very difficult Neesy. We're a team, he and I, it's been us against the world for a long time now with all the sadness with his mom of the last few years. I think I'm kind of his rock, does that make any sense? For the most part I've stayed calm and collected during the last few years trying to protect him and showing him that I'm going to make sure he's #1 and that he's protected and provided for no matter the cost. Now, I think he sees me texting, or talking on the phone and he knows who I'm communicating with. She is doing everything she possibly can to show him attention and that she's not trying to replace his mother and she's doing a great job but since this thing is so new, we have a long road ahead of us. But, slow and steady has been the plan from the get go on both sides, neither of us are used to having another person in the picture but it's easier for us than it is for both boys because we both mutually want someone in the picture. It's complicated, as I knew it would be going into a relationship with someone with her own child. You're a bit torn over how much attention to show that person because you know someone else is watching you interact with that person. I feel like I'm under a microscope when I'm talking to her if my son is around. We've pretty much decided that all we can do is try to include both of them as much as possible to show both of them we're not trying to exclude them. I've bought her son a couple of small toys, she is teaching my son to play the acoustic guitar which I didn't even know he was interested in...go figure. Overall, I'm cautiously hopeful Neesy but still wary. Ok, there I go rambling again...sorry. I like her quite a bit Neesy, she's very nice to me. I'm not used to that, but I'm not complaining at all ma'am. Have a good weekend.
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Wow - that was quite a complicated answer - thanks for sharing that.

Hope you don't mind me giving my opinion? I think it's really good your son is only 12 - he is still pretty flexible. It sounds like you two are doing the best you can and taking it slowly.

On a positive note, perhaps your son will start to think of her boy as a younger brother?

It sounds like you've got it all under control - good for you!
:butterfly:
 
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ghost19

ghost19

"Have I run too far to get home?"
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not_nadine said:
I'm happy for you Ghost. Truly am. :subdued: Also nosy and want to know how you met up again after all this time.
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I appreciate that NN, I sincerely do.

It was kind of a weird deal NN. She's the executive assistant to the superintendent of the school my son goes to. She doesn't work in my son's middle school but over in the administration offices. She was over at his school delivering some paperwork when I was there for the last round of parent-teacher conferences a few weeks ago. Walked into the office to sign in and there she was talking to one of the other office workers. Of course we recognized each other but She had moved away to Pennsylvania for almost 16 years with her former husband, that's where he was from. She moved back here after he passed away. He died about three months after their son was born and she wanted to be closer to her family. Like I said, I knew her for several years in school but never really thought much about it, too much of a geeky nerd guy to ask anyone out back then. She's been working for the school for a little over a year. I've just never ran into her at any functions or anything like that. She lives about 5 minutes from me in the suburb of Fayetteville I live in. We kept talking in the office for a while, just "how you been" type stuff, but she gave me a quick hug when I left which I thought was nice. I did the parent teacher conference thing then was walking out of the school with my son past the office and she was still there. She waved and smiled at me, just a really, really nice smile. Without giving the matter much thought, which, coincidentally coincides with the very few good decisions I've made in my life, I told my son to wait for a sec, detoured back into the office, asked if I could speak with her alone for a second and just flat out asked her out. I figure it was either get a "how dare you!" or a polite "piss off!"..either way I would be no worse off than before. She had an college alumni get together from the U of A that upcoming weekend and asked if I'd like to go with her. Sure, beats staring at the walls Saturday night like my usual weekends I figured. We ended up having a really nice evening just talking, getting to know one another at the banquet. I took her to dinner afterwards and we had a nice time. She has a two year old son who is her world. I very much liked how dedicated she is to her son, I blah all the time about my kid also and she didn't seem to get bored with me, at least not openly. But, we had a nice evening which turned into a second date, then a third, and fourth. Most of the dates have just been my son and I coming over for dinner....I told her my cooking sucks beyond all manner of that which is holy, so we've actually had a few home cooked meals the last few weeks which has been nice. I like playing with the two year old, it reminds of when my son was that age and fun as hell to roughhouse with and just wind him up and watch him go. So far, so good, we'll see I guess. Have a good weekend ma'am.
 
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ghost19

ghost19

"Have I run too far to get home?"
Sep 25, 2011
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cat in a bag said:
See, the guitar thing is good, that is something they can bond over without being some overbearing, constantly on their minds type thing, if that makes sense!

Blending families is hard work. I was a single mom when I met my husband, and in our case there was just one child, not two. We probably rushed things, were married 4 months after meeting and added a baby to the family a month before our first anniversary. It was all very overwhelming for Brandon...I was not thinking of him reacting to the change, when it had always just been the two of us. I was just thinking that he was finally going to have a father.

We definitely had some bumps and growing pains, me included! But it can and does work out! Brandon has always been the best big brother and now, a wonderful father in his own right to RJ.

So I guess what I'm taking so long to say ;-D is that it takes work and patience to blend families together but it is very worth it in the end.
Click to expand...

Thanks Cat. Wise words most definitely. It's a bit weird being around a woman other than my ex. I'm carrying around a lot of baggage about that and always will I think but those are my demons. She's the antithesis of how my ex was and by that I mean she's mentally stable. Right now I'll take that.....
 
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Neesy

Neesy

#1 fan (Annie Wilkes cousin) 1st cousin Mom's side
May 24, 2012
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ghost19 said:
so we've actually had a few home cooked meals the last few weeks which has been nice.
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:m_applause::m_pan::m_clap::m_excited:

I was just going to reply using emojis alone, but I'll throw in a few words:

Home cooked meals!

EXCELLENT_9e0887_787105.jpg


Poor raccoons...

Will you still provide them some leftovers from time to time?
 
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