Strange Things You Say At Work

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not_nadine

Comfortably Roont
Nov 19, 2011
29,655
139,785
Behind you
That would sound odd to anyone else.

Today to a co-worker:

"Hey, help me out here, how come when I'm plotting something, it always turns out like this? I've got the mask on and I am transparent"

"You sure you are transparent?"

"Yes, with a mask on".

"Well, did you bring the ones you want out front?"

"I have to pick the ones I want, I can't just select them all?"

"Yes, but make sure you are horizontal"

dimensions and text in a drawing
 
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HollyGolightly

Well-Known Member
Sep 6, 2013
9,660
74,320
54
Heart of the South
;-D Transparent with your mask on!

Today, me:

Ok, I'm going to lay down there and push it forward while you feed it down through that hole.

Co-worker: Are you sure you know how to do this? Maybe we should call a professional?

Me: Just be glad I wore pants today, Helen.

I had to shimmy down behind someone's credenza to change their ethernet cable. Helen had to slide it down behind through the desk top hole. I purposely wore pants in June because I knew I'd be crawling around all day long. I was right.
 

Walter Oobleck

keeps coming back...or going, and going, and going
Mar 6, 2013
11,749
34,805
Turn it around and do it.
Turn it the other way.
The other way...to your left.
Your other left.
Now we're cooking with gas.
When you're done with that go get the hen-way outta the truck in the cab.
Keep looking.
Give me a sec...almost done here...I'll find it.
It's only short on your end...my end is okay!
Turn green on it.
I don't wanna see any pecker tracks on this one.
We're not making a watch just the box it goes in.
I can't see it from my house.
Turn it around and put it in.
You gotta poke a hole in it first.
Naw, with this stuff you don't have to poke a hole in it, just squeeze.
Whoa now, we just want a little bit.
It's not in right there...can you reach it?...use your handle.
Your other handle.
Your handle.
Try your palm.
Humph, have to cut another one.
 

Out of Order

Sign of the Times
Feb 9, 2011
29,007
162,154
New Hampster
;-D Transparent with your mask on!

Today, me:

Ok, I'm going to lay down there and push it forward while you feed it down through that hole.

Co-worker: Are you sure you know how to do this? Maybe we should call a professional?

Me: Just be glad I wore pants today, Helen.

I had to shimmy down behind someone's credenza to change their ethernet cable. Helen had to slide it down behind through the desk top hole. I purposely wore pants in June because I knew I'd be crawling around all day long. I was right.

I'm not going to read the spoiler........oh my.........;;D
 

Sundrop

Sunny the Great & Wonderful
Jun 12, 2008
28,520
156,619
Conversation at work......

Co worker: I used cream and 20 for 30 minutes, but it's still too gold. What do you think I should do?

Me: Refresh the ends with cream and 40 for 10 more minutes, then come back and hit it with T18. That should take out the brass and leave you with nothing but ice.

We were discussing a bleach and toner process
 

Grandpa

Well-Known Member
Mar 2, 2014
9,724
53,642
Colorado
"You want me to share my briefs?"
"Sure."

"They were way too quick, it was pretty sloppy, and now they're asking for a rough."

"I'm a short-stroker."
"I'm a pounder."

I'm a court reporter (stenographer). Brief forms, or briefs, are the shortcuts we use to get down multi-word phrases, technical or specialized terms, or long words. Reporters "share briefs," i.e., share their creative brief forms with one another.

When people talk fast, it drives us nuts and makes our writing less precise. Sometimes they'll ask for a rough draft right after or soon after the proceedings.

The keyboard. We dial in keystroke depth to different levels, so a "short stroker" is one with shallow keystroke depth. (It can also refer to someone who uses lots of brief forms.) A "pounder" is one who hits the keys hard. i.e., me.
 

pegasus216

Eternal Members
Jun 20, 2013
6,825
44,212
75
Delaware
Turn it around and do it.
Turn it the other way.
The other way...to your left.
Your other left.
Now we're cooking with gas.
When you're done with that go get the hen-way outta the truck in the cab.
Keep looking.
Give me a sec...almost done here...I'll find it.
It's only short on your end...my end is okay!
Turn green on it.
I don't wanna see any pecker tracks on this one.
We're not making a watch just the box it goes in.
I can't see it from my house.
Turn it around and put it in.
You gotta poke a hole in it first.
Naw, with this stuff you don't have to poke a hole in it, just squeeze.
Whoa now, we just want a little bit.
It's not in right there...can you reach it?...use your handle.
Your other handle.
Your handle.
Try your palm.
Humph, have to cut another one.
So far, yours is the best!
 

niro

Well-Known Member
Apr 5, 2013
2,434
14,206
The water sticks on the milk, okay.

You got me a bottle...thanks.

We have little sticker on our sixpacks (6 plastic bottles mostly water 1,5 litre) I need it to scan it. If costumers by a crate of beer or water I need a bottle to scan it too.
 

Walter Oobleck

keeps coming back...or going, and going, and going
Mar 6, 2013
11,749
34,805
Sammy, run over and chalk a line by Eugene...I wanna see if he's moving.
How many times have I told you you aren't allowed to cut your finger off during working hours?
Bang that wall together, cut the jacks eighty, angle the nails on those, crowns up on all.
Mark every two and seven all the way up the rake.
Need you to shave a little off this one.
Cut? That ain't a cut...look, it's not even bleeding anymore, squeeze it a little, see what happens.
Eugene, run get the Duct Tape outta the truck and one of those McDonald napkins on the console.
Yeah, you're good to go, carry two bundles up on your way up the ladder.
What in the world were they thinking?
Tell Sammy to pull the shades it's getting hot up here.
Toenail one in from the side and then turn green on it.
Plumb cut the tails, six-twelve, twenty-two and a half out.
That's better than snuff and not half as dusty.
Sammy, you and Eugene need to start hanging deadwood, use those stakes in the pile there for on top.
Find the center and mark three inches either side of that.