Oh, yer no fun.
Ya been talkin' to my wife, ya rat.
Tell Me A Kid Story
- Thread starter Dana Jean
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Ya been talkin' to my wife, ya rat.
WINNER WINNER!
And wow, ya know my very first girlfriend said she first liked me because she thought I looked like Denver, had round wire frame specs then, not those later 70's hoot owls, became a fan then and there, Paula was ssso sssweet
...oh she was truly major heart throb
No, I haven't! And stop calling me your wife.
Black Tums. That'
We get along quite well now, and any bloodshed is taken very seriously.
We get along quite well now, and any bloodshed is taken very seriously.
....can I just bring the pig?....
Yes, but only if you also bring a little spider to spin webs about him.
Well, there was this time I almost killed myself snow tubing. That was a blast 
My parents house is on on a corner lot at the the bottom of hill. Our backyard was pretty sloped and was good for sledding. You could slide down the hill in our yard and out onto the street, continue down the slope, and end up in the marsh at the end of the dead-end. If you maneuvered the sled properly and avoided the two pine trees and the oak tree that ran along the side of the yard that is.
So, during the last day of Christmas break during my freshman year of HS (1987) we got a pretty big snowstorm. I was sledding in my backyard with my buddy T, my cousin D and my little brother B. Brother B (We used to call him that. He hated it. Which is why I still call him Brother B today
) had gotten a snow tube for Christmas and we were trying it out. If you've ever used a snow tube you know they have a tendency to spin around while you are going down the hill. We'd been outside for a bit and now its getting dark. I'm taking a final run down the hill and the tube starts spinning around as I'm sliding. I'm trying to get facing the right way again so I can see where i'm going. That didn't work out too well because I crashed into the oak tree backwards at full speed. Hit the tree trunk with the back of my head, spun around and hit the trunk again with the side of my face. Score: Mean 'Ole Oak Tree: 1 / SwiftDog: 0 
I stood up, walked a few steps, said "That hurt!", and proceeded to pass out and fall on my face in the snow. I was only out for a few seconds but when I came to I can see and hear D & T cracking up at me. They came over to see if I was OK and help me up. I was not in good shape. My head hurt, the left side of vision was all spinny, and my nose was throbbing. We troop inside and tell my Mom what happened. She asked me if I was OK. I said "I just crashed into a tree, what do you think?" She got mad and told me to sit my butt down and put an ice pack on my head.
My Dad had just run out to pick up our dinner as we were having takeout that night. He got back, saw me, asked what happened, and then asked me for about the millionth time in my life "What is wrong with you?" and said "Only you could slide down a hill backwards and crash into a tree."
We sat down to eat. Half the room was spinning so I didn't eat much. When we finished my parents asked me if I felt any better. I say "No". So we head to the ER.
Spent the rest of the evening at the hospital. The ER doc gave me a once over. Checked my pupils, asked me how I felt, checked my reflexes, had me stand on one leg and gave me a nudge to test my balance. I fall onto the bed. He asks me if I felt dizzy. I said "You just watched me fall on the bed. What kind of a stupid question is that?" SwiftParents tell me not to be a smarta**. SwiftDad mutters this guy is a jack** under his breath. They send me down for X-Rays. I come back and wait for the results. SwiftDad went into the waiting room. SwiftMom is sitting with me. We watch re-runs of WKRP on the TV (I love that show) and listen to the poor Nun who was in the bed next to me continuously vomit (she had some Roman Catholic Captain Trips or something). Doc comes back and says he read the x-rays. There were no skull fractures or other damage he could see and that my noggin' was OK structurally. He said I had a bad concussion and probably a broken nose (it hadn't bled, just swelled up). Sent me home and told my Mom to keep me awake for the night, to keep me out of school for a week, monitor my condition and call our family doctor if things got worse or didn't get better in a few days.
We get home and I try to stay awake. Ended up watching DeathWish and some other action flicks on cable with SwiftDad. Dad went to bed after that as he had to work in the morning. Watched more TV with SwiftMom. Finally got to go to sleep in the early morning. SwiftMom would wake me up every few hours to see if I was OK. After a few days, I started feeling better. Spent the rest of the week playing the Legend of Zelda on the ole' NES.
So, the good was that I got basically a month off from school. Our Christmas break was a little over two weeks long. Being out the additional week made it three weeks without any school. I had a shop week the week before the holiday so the week that I missed when I was the concussion kid was an academic week. When I finally went back to school it was shop week again. It was four weeks later when I finally got back to regular classes.
The bad was the monster headache I had for like four days and the broken nose.
The ugly was the the razzing I got from D, T and the kids at school for crashing into the tree. They called me "Crash" for a while after that
To add insult to injury, I had to spend the evenings of the week I went back to school catching up on all the academic stuff I missed. We usually didn't have homework during shop week 
Moral of the story is, oak trees are out to get you and boy are the solid......
My parents house is on on a corner lot at the the bottom of hill. Our backyard was pretty sloped and was good for sledding. You could slide down the hill in our yard and out onto the street, continue down the slope, and end up in the marsh at the end of the dead-end. If you maneuvered the sled properly and avoided the two pine trees and the oak tree that ran along the side of the yard that is.
So, during the last day of Christmas break during my freshman year of HS (1987) we got a pretty big snowstorm. I was sledding in my backyard with my buddy T, my cousin D and my little brother B. Brother B (We used to call him that. He hated it. Which is why I still call him Brother B today
) had gotten a snow tube for Christmas and we were trying it out. If you've ever used a snow tube you know they have a tendency to spin around while you are going down the hill. We'd been outside for a bit and now its getting dark. I'm taking a final run down the hill and the tube starts spinning around as I'm sliding. I'm trying to get facing the right way again so I can see where i'm going. That didn't work out too well because I crashed into the oak tree backwards at full speed. Hit the tree trunk with the back of my head, spun around and hit the trunk again with the side of my face. Score: Mean 'Ole Oak Tree: 1 / SwiftDog: 0 I stood up, walked a few steps, said "That hurt!", and proceeded to pass out and fall on my face in the snow. I was only out for a few seconds but when I came to I can see and hear D & T cracking up at me. They came over to see if I was OK and help me up. I was not in good shape. My head hurt, the left side of vision was all spinny, and my nose was throbbing. We troop inside and tell my Mom what happened. She asked me if I was OK. I said "I just crashed into a tree, what do you think?" She got mad and told me to sit my butt down and put an ice pack on my head.
My Dad had just run out to pick up our dinner as we were having takeout that night. He got back, saw me, asked what happened, and then asked me for about the millionth time in my life "What is wrong with you?" and said "Only you could slide down a hill backwards and crash into a tree."
We sat down to eat. Half the room was spinning so I didn't eat much. When we finished my parents asked me if I felt any better. I say "No". So we head to the ER.
Spent the rest of the evening at the hospital. The ER doc gave me a once over. Checked my pupils, asked me how I felt, checked my reflexes, had me stand on one leg and gave me a nudge to test my balance. I fall onto the bed. He asks me if I felt dizzy. I said "You just watched me fall on the bed. What kind of a stupid question is that?" SwiftParents tell me not to be a smarta**. SwiftDad mutters this guy is a jack** under his breath. They send me down for X-Rays. I come back and wait for the results. SwiftDad went into the waiting room. SwiftMom is sitting with me. We watch re-runs of WKRP on the TV (I love that show) and listen to the poor Nun who was in the bed next to me continuously vomit (she had some Roman Catholic Captain Trips or something). Doc comes back and says he read the x-rays. There were no skull fractures or other damage he could see and that my noggin' was OK structurally. He said I had a bad concussion and probably a broken nose (it hadn't bled, just swelled up). Sent me home and told my Mom to keep me awake for the night, to keep me out of school for a week, monitor my condition and call our family doctor if things got worse or didn't get better in a few days.
We get home and I try to stay awake. Ended up watching DeathWish and some other action flicks on cable with SwiftDad. Dad went to bed after that as he had to work in the morning. Watched more TV with SwiftMom. Finally got to go to sleep in the early morning. SwiftMom would wake me up every few hours to see if I was OK. After a few days, I started feeling better. Spent the rest of the week playing the Legend of Zelda on the ole' NES.
So, the good was that I got basically a month off from school. Our Christmas break was a little over two weeks long. Being out the additional week made it three weeks without any school. I had a shop week the week before the holiday so the week that I missed when I was the concussion kid was an academic week. When I finally went back to school it was shop week again. It was four weeks later when I finally got back to regular classes.
The bad was the monster headache I had for like four days and the broken nose.
The ugly was the the razzing I got from D, T and the kids at school for crashing into the tree. They called me "Crash" for a while after that
To add insult to injury, I had to spend the evenings of the week I went back to school catching up on all the academic stuff I missed. We usually didn't have homework during shop week Moral of the story is, oak trees are out to get you and boy are the solid......
Oh yeah, I also got bit in the face by a dog when I was like two or so. This was around 1975.
I remember playing with the neighbors dog. He was a friendly little fuzz ball and I played with him all the time. He went to grab the ball we were playing with just as I bent down, putting my wee little SwiftPup face in the way. He ended up accidentally biting me right under my left eye. Ripped a good chunk of my face open. Don't remember much after that.
This is the account I have been told of what happened after I got bit:
I let out a scream so my Mom ran over and saw me bleeding and the neighbors dog looking upset. She said she pushed the wound together and ran into the house with me, pressed a towel on my face to stop the bleeding and held the wound closed while she tried to call my Dad, who was working. Dad was a cop but why she didn't just call 911 is beyond me. She must have been panicked, I guess. Additionally, my big sis (she was probably 8 or so when this happened) almost drown in the neighbors pool while all this was going on. They forgot all about her in the confusion
Anyway, one of my Mom's brothers, who is also my Godfather, happened to stop by while my Mom was trying to get my Dad. He was going to take us to the hospital but my dad got there right after my uncle showed up. They had radioed him in his cruiser from the precinct and he ripped a** home. Dad ended up taking us to the hospital. At least my uncle remembered to get my poor sister out of the pool. He now got to babysit her while my parents took me to the ER.
We get to the hospital and Mom and Dad are in the ER with me as the doc is looking at me. They took the towel away from my face so they could asses what they were dealing with. Mom says she almost passed out when she saw the damage. She didn't get a good look when it first happened because she instinctively tried to hold the wound together. When they took the towel away, she wasn't prepared for exposed tendons and ripped flesh. She said that my Dad, who was a war vet and a cop that had seen his fair share of injuries and wounded people, turned green and almost
She said the Docs kicked them out so they could work on me. They ended cleaning the wound and calling in a plastic surgeon who happened to be in the building to stitch the wound around my eye together. Took like 30 stitches or so. Ultimately, I was fine. No vision loss. They did an excellent job of stitching me back up. There is only a small scar around the bottom of my left eye. It looks like the indentation some people get from wearing eye glasses for awhile. No big deal, really. 9 out of 10 people don't even notice it. It could have been much worse.
Anyway, the neighbors were apparently freaked out because they thought my folks were going to sue and would want their dog put down for attacking me. My folks knew their dog wasn't viscous. As I said, I played with their dog all the time and he was always gentle. They knew it was an accident so they didn't sue or ask for the dog to be put down.
The dog and I were cool after my accident. I was never afraid of him, or other dogs afterward. I knew he didn't hurt me on purpose.
I remember playing with the neighbors dog. He was a friendly little fuzz ball and I played with him all the time. He went to grab the ball we were playing with just as I bent down, putting my wee little SwiftPup face in the way. He ended up accidentally biting me right under my left eye. Ripped a good chunk of my face open. Don't remember much after that.
This is the account I have been told of what happened after I got bit:
I let out a scream so my Mom ran over and saw me bleeding and the neighbors dog looking upset. She said she pushed the wound together and ran into the house with me, pressed a towel on my face to stop the bleeding and held the wound closed while she tried to call my Dad, who was working. Dad was a cop but why she didn't just call 911 is beyond me. She must have been panicked, I guess. Additionally, my big sis (she was probably 8 or so when this happened) almost drown in the neighbors pool while all this was going on. They forgot all about her in the confusion
Anyway, one of my Mom's brothers, who is also my Godfather, happened to stop by while my Mom was trying to get my Dad. He was going to take us to the hospital but my dad got there right after my uncle showed up. They had radioed him in his cruiser from the precinct and he ripped a** home. Dad ended up taking us to the hospital. At least my uncle remembered to get my poor sister out of the pool. He now got to babysit her while my parents took me to the ER.
We get to the hospital and Mom and Dad are in the ER with me as the doc is looking at me. They took the towel away from my face so they could asses what they were dealing with. Mom says she almost passed out when she saw the damage. She didn't get a good look when it first happened because she instinctively tried to hold the wound together. When they took the towel away, she wasn't prepared for exposed tendons and ripped flesh. She said that my Dad, who was a war vet and a cop that had seen his fair share of injuries and wounded people, turned green and almost
She said the Docs kicked them out so they could work on me. They ended cleaning the wound and calling in a plastic surgeon who happened to be in the building to stitch the wound around my eye together. Took like 30 stitches or so. Ultimately, I was fine. No vision loss. They did an excellent job of stitching me back up. There is only a small scar around the bottom of my left eye. It looks like the indentation some people get from wearing eye glasses for awhile. No big deal, really. 9 out of 10 people don't even notice it. It could have been much worse.
Anyway, the neighbors were apparently freaked out because they thought my folks were going to sue and would want their dog put down for attacking me. My folks knew their dog wasn't viscous. As I said, I played with their dog all the time and he was always gentle. They knew it was an accident so they didn't sue or ask for the dog to be put down.
The dog and I were cool after my accident. I was never afraid of him, or other dogs afterward. I knew he didn't hurt me on purpose.
Then there's the first time I.......
Saw Jaws! (Had you worried there for a minute, I bet
)
Saw it on cable for the first time when I was like 7 or so. Scared the crap out of me!
I knew sharks were real so I decided I better find out just what I was dealing with when I went swimming. I started learning all I could about sharks. Found out what kinds of sharks lived where I would be swimming and found out that attacks on people were rare. It lead to a lifetime fascination with sharks for me
Now, I never miss Shark Week on the Discovery channel. I also have an annual Jaws-a-thon on the fourth of July every year. I watch Jaws & Jaws 2 back to back on that day. I'm also going to see it on the big screen on Labor Day.
I still want to do some cage diving in Guadalupe. It's on my bucket list. Just need to convince someone to go with me!
Saw Jaws! (Had you worried there for a minute, I bet
)Saw it on cable for the first time when I was like 7 or so. Scared the crap out of me!
I knew sharks were real so I decided I better find out just what I was dealing with when I went swimming. I started learning all I could about sharks. Found out what kinds of sharks lived where I would be swimming and found out that attacks on people were rare. It lead to a lifetime fascination with sharks for me
Now, I never miss Shark Week on the Discovery channel. I also have an annual Jaws-a-thon on the fourth of July every year. I watch Jaws & Jaws 2 back to back on that day. I'm also going to see it on the big screen on Labor Day.
I still want to do some cage diving in Guadalupe. It's on my bucket list. Just need to convince someone to go with me!
Well, there was this time I almost killed myself snow tubing. That was a blast
My parents house is on on a corner lot at the the bottom of hill. Our backyard was pretty sloped and was good for sledding. You could slide down the hill in our yard and out onto the street, continue down the slope, and end up in the marsh at the end of the dead-end. If you maneuvered the sled properly and avoided the two pine trees and the oak tree that ran along the side of the yard that is.
So, during the last day of Christmas break during my freshman year of HS (1987) we got a pretty big snowstorm. I was sledding in my backyard with my buddy T, my cousin D and my little brother B. Brother B (We used to call him that. He hated it. Which is why I still call him Brother B today
I stood up, walked a few steps, said "That hurt!", and proceeded to pass out and fall on my face in the snow. I was only out for a few seconds but when I came to I can see and hear D & T cracking up at me. They came over to see if I was OK and help me up. I was not in good shape. My head hurt, the left side of vision was all spinny, and my nose was throbbing. We troop inside and tell my Mom what happened. She asked me if I was OK. I said "I just crashed into a tree, what do you think?" She got mad and told me to sit my butt down and put an ice pack on my head.
My Dad had just run out to pick up our dinner as we were having takeout that night. He got back, saw me, asked what happened, and then asked me for about the millionth time in my life "What is wrong with you?" and said "Only you could slide down a hill backwards and crash into a tree."
We sat down to eat. Half the room was spinning so I didn't eat much. When we finished my parents asked me if I felt any better. I say "No". So we head to the ER.
Spent the rest of the evening at the hospital. The ER doc gave me a once over. Checked my pupils, asked me how I felt, checked my reflexes, had me stand on one leg and gave me a nudge to test my balance. I fall onto the bed. He asks me if I felt dizzy. I said "You just watched me fall on the bed. What kind of a stupid question is that?" SwiftParents tell me not to be a smarta**. SwiftDad mutters this guy is a jack** under his breath. They send me down for X-Rays. I come back and wait for the results. SwiftDad went into the waiting room. SwiftMom is sitting with me. We watch re-runs of WKRP on the TV (I love that show) and listen to the poor Nun who was in the bed next to me continuously vomit (she had some Roman Catholic Captain Trips or something). Doc comes back and says he read the x-rays. There were no skull fractures or other damage he could see and that my noggin' was OK structurally. He said I had a bad concussion and probably a broken nose (it hadn't bled, just swelled up). Sent me home and told my Mom to keep me awake for the night, to keep me out of school for a week, monitor my condition and call our family doctor if things got worse or didn't get better in a few days.
We get home and I try to stay awake. Ended up watching DeathWish and some other action flicks on cable with SwiftDad. Dad went to bed after that as he had to work in the morning. Watched more TV with SwiftMom. Finally got to go to sleep in the early morning. SwiftMom would wake me up every few hours to see if I was OK. After a few days, I started feeling better. Spent the rest of the week playing the Legend of Zelda on the ole' NES.
So, the good was that I got basically a month off from school. Our Christmas break was a little over two weeks long. Being out the additional week made it three weeks without any school. I had a shop week the week before the holiday so the week that I missed when I was the concussion kid was an academic week. When I finally went back to school it was shop week again. It was four weeks later when I finally got back to regular classes.
The bad was the monster headache I had for like four days and the broken nose.
The ugly was the the razzing I got from D, T and the kids at school for crashing into the tree. They called me "Crash" for a while after that
Moral of the story is, oak trees are out to get you and boy are the solid......
Roman Catholic Captain Trips, man. It wouldn't be so bad, except you have to keep genuflecting the whole time. I bet they were cleaning that room up for DAYS!
Funny follow up to the up-chucking Nun. About a week or so after this incident my Mom starting feeling sick. Nausea. Abdominal cramps. Vomiting. She was cursing that Nun up and down because she had assumed she caught the flu from the Nun while she was in the ER with me . It got so bad she went to the hospital herself. It ended up being her gallbladder. She felt bad for nursing out the Nun
Here's a reason why I became a fan of the horror genre.
My parents used to take my brother, sister and I to the drive-in fairly regularly during the summers. One night we went to a double-feature. The movies that were playing were....The Amityville Horror & The Last House on The Left!
Mind you my brother was just a baby (he doesn't remember this at all), my sister was 12 (she was freaked out but loved it) and I was 6 (I was freaked out too but liked the movies as well). Dad always claimed he didn't realize what movies were playing and that he looked at the wrong listing in the paper. I think he was full of poop because he loved horror movies as well SwiftMom was not happy.....
My parents used to take my brother, sister and I to the drive-in fairly regularly during the summers. One night we went to a double-feature. The movies that were playing were....The Amityville Horror & The Last House on The Left!
Mind you my brother was just a baby (he doesn't remember this at all), my sister was 12 (she was freaked out but loved it) and I was 6 (I was freaked out too but liked the movies as well). Dad always claimed he didn't realize what movies were playing and that he looked at the wrong listing in the paper. I think he was full of poop because he loved horror movies as well
SwiftMom was not happy.....
That reminds me. When I was 11 or so, my mom and her sister took my cousin (a year older than me) and me to the drive-in. To see The Exorcist. Then later, that night, my cousin taunted me from the bottom bunk using that possessed voice.Then there's the first time I.......
Saw Jaws! (Had you worried there for a minute, I bet
Saw it on cable for the first time when I was like 7 or so. Scared the crap out of me!
I knew sharks were real so I decided I better find out just what I was dealing with when I went swimming. I started learning all I could about sharks. Found out what kinds of sharks lived where I would be swimming and found out that attacks on people were rare. It lead to a lifetime fascination with sharks for me
Now, I never miss Shark Week on the Discovery channel. I also have an annual Jaws-a-thon on the fourth of July every year. I watch Jaws & Jaws 2 back to back on that day. I'm also going to see it on the big screen on Labor Day.
I still want to do some cage diving in Guadalupe. It's on my bucket list. Just need to convince someone to go with me!
Thanks for the nightmares, dear family. 'Preciate it.
I've really enjoyed reading the stories in this thread! Thank you, Everybody!! 
I must be the most boring person ever...I can't think of one story about my childhood worth telling...
I must be the most boring person ever...I can't think of one story about my childhood worth telling...
Growing up, my brother would do whatever it took to annoy me. If I ever made the mistake of telling him something irritated me, he would do it two fold and relentlessly. Now, I've even married someone like that (though he has mellowed with age)
Taught me to have a thick skin.
Taught me to have a thick skin.
Well, there was this time I almost killed myself snow tubing. That was a blast
My parents house is on on a corner lot at the the bottom of hill. Our backyard was pretty sloped and was good for sledding. You could slide down the hill in our yard and out onto the street, continue down the slope, and end up in the marsh at the end of the dead-end. If you maneuvered the sled properly and avoided the two pine trees and the oak tree that ran along the side of the yard that is.
So, during the last day of Christmas break during my freshman year of HS (1987) we got a pretty big snowstorm. I was sledding in my backyard with my buddy T, my cousin D and my little brother B. Brother B (We used to call him that. He hated it. Which is why I still call him Brother B today
I stood up, walked a few steps, said "That hurt!", and proceeded to pass out and fall on my face in the snow. I was only out for a few seconds but when I came to I can see and hear D & T cracking up at me. They came over to see if I was OK and help me up. I was not in good shape. My head hurt, the left side of vision was all spinny, and my nose was throbbing. We troop inside and tell my Mom what happened. She asked me if I was OK. I said "I just crashed into a tree, what do you think?" She got mad and told me to sit my butt down and put an ice pack on my head.
My Dad had just run out to pick up our dinner as we were having takeout that night. He got back, saw me, asked what happened, and then asked me for about the millionth time in my life "What is wrong with you?" and said "Only you could slide down a hill backwards and crash into a tree."
We sat down to eat. Half the room was spinning so I didn't eat much. When we finished my parents asked me if I felt any better. I say "No". So we head to the ER.
Spent the rest of the evening at the hospital. The ER doc gave me a once over. Checked my pupils, asked me how I felt, checked my reflexes, had me stand on one leg and gave me a nudge to test my balance. I fall onto the bed. He asks me if I felt dizzy. I said "You just watched me fall on the bed. What kind of a stupid question is that?" SwiftParents tell me not to be a smarta**. SwiftDad mutters this guy is a jack** under his breath. They send me down for X-Rays. I come back and wait for the results. SwiftDad went into the waiting room. SwiftMom is sitting with me. We watch re-runs of WKRP on the TV (I love that show) and listen to the poor Nun who was in the bed next to me continuously vomit (she had some Roman Catholic Captain Trips or something). Doc comes back and says he read the x-rays. There were no skull fractures or other damage he could see and that my noggin' was OK structurally. He said I had a bad concussion and probably a broken nose (it hadn't bled, just swelled up). Sent me home and told my Mom to keep me awake for the night, to keep me out of school for a week, monitor my condition and call our family doctor if things got worse or didn't get better in a few days.
We get home and I try to stay awake. Ended up watching DeathWish and some other action flicks on cable with SwiftDad. Dad went to bed after that as he had to work in the morning. Watched more TV with SwiftMom. Finally got to go to sleep in the early morning. SwiftMom would wake me up every few hours to see if I was OK. After a few days, I started feeling better. Spent the rest of the week playing the Legend of Zelda on the ole' NES.
So, the good was that I got basically a month off from school. Our Christmas break was a little over two weeks long. Being out the additional week made it three weeks without any school. I had a shop week the week before the holiday so the week that I missed when I was the concussion kid was an academic week. When I finally went back to school it was shop week again. It was four weeks later when I finally got back to regular classes.
The bad was the monster headache I had for like four days and the broken nose.
The ugly was the the razzing I got from D, T and the kids at school for crashing into the tree. They called me "Crash" for a while after that
Moral of the story is, oak trees are out to get you and boy are the solid......
Isn't that kids? They laugh first, then see if you're okay! ha! Sounds like it was very very serious.
Both my niece and nephew were bit by dogs. My nephew almost died. That is very scary. And i'm glad you got such good care so the scarring was minimal. Poor mom and dad!Oh yeah, I also got bit in the face by a dog when I was like two or so. This was around 1975.
I remember playing with the neighbors dog. He was a friendly little fuzz ball and I played with him all the time. He went to grab the ball we were playing with just as I bent down, putting my wee little SwiftPup face in the way. He ended up accidentally biting me right under my left eye. Ripped a good chunk of my face open. Don't remember much after that.
This is the account I have been told of what happened after I got bit:
I let out a scream so my Mom ran over and saw me bleeding and the neighbors dog looking upset. She said she pushed the wound together and ran into the house with me, pressed a towel on my face to stop the bleeding and held the wound closed while she tried to call my Dad, who was working. Dad was a cop but why she didn't just call 911 is beyond me. She must have been panicked, I guess. Additionally, my big sis (she was probably 8 or so when this happened) almost drown in the neighbors pool while all this was going on. They forgot all about her in the confusion
Anyway, one of my Mom's brothers, who is also my Godfather, happened to stop by while my Mom was trying to get my Dad. He was going to take us to the hospital but my dad got there right after my uncle showed up. They had radioed him in his cruiser from the precinct and he ripped a** home. Dad ended up taking us to the hospital. At least my uncle remembered to get my poor sister out of the pool. He now got to babysit her while my parents took me to the ER.
We get to the hospital and Mom and Dad are in the ER with me as the doc is looking at me. They took the towel away from my face so they could asses what they were dealing with. Mom says she almost passed out when she saw the damage. She didn't get a good look when it first happened because she instinctively tried to hold the wound together. When they took the towel away, she wasn't prepared for exposed tendons and ripped flesh. She said that my Dad, who was a war vet and a cop that had seen his fair share of injuries and wounded people, turned green and almost
She said the Docs kicked them out so they could work on me. They ended cleaning the wound and calling in a plastic surgeon who happened to be in the building to stitch the wound around my eye together. Took like 30 stitches or so. Ultimately, I was fine. No vision loss. They did an excellent job of stitching me back up. There is only a small scar around the bottom of my left eye. It looks like the indentation some people get from wearing eye glasses for awhile. No big deal, really. 9 out of 10 people don't even notice it. It could have been much worse.
Anyway, the neighbors were apparently freaked out because they thought my folks were going to sue and would want their dog put down for attacking me. My folks knew their dog wasn't viscous. As I said, I played with their dog all the time and he was always gentle. They knew it was an accident so they didn't sue or ask for the dog to be put down.
The dog and I were cool after my accident. I was never afraid of him, or other dogs afterward. I knew he didn't hurt me on purpose.
My mom and aunt took me and a friend to see this. I didn't have nightmares though. It was a great movie. The minute that kid peed on the floor, I knew the world had turned upside down.
My grandfather had a cherry tree in his backyard. When I was around 8 years old one late summer he had me come to his house every day. He told me it was a tradition in the old country he came from that at my age it was the responsibility for every boy to become proficient with a slingshot. He presented me with a hand made slingshot honed from a tree branch and utilized an inner-tube and a piece of leather. It was magnificent! He gave me a bucket of stones and said I should practice shooting at the birds as they landed in his tree. I questioned why I had to sit on the stoop, so far away from the tree, and not get up close. He told me I needed to become good from a distance or it wouldn’t mean anything. And I had to pick up all the stones to restock the bucket. Thousands of shots over several weeks and I never got one bird. It never dawned on me that he made the whole thing up and only wanted me to scare the birds away from eating his cherries. I did it the next year also with the same results, and only then found out his ploy. I never told my younger brother of the ruse because the year after that, it was his turn.
hahahhaa! Ah, yes. The evil use of children.
When I was little, my brother being older and a teenager had a party in our basement. My parents were upstairs in a bedroom, but they would send me out to do reconnaissance for them. My mom made it a funny ha-ha game as I came giggling back to report what I was seeing. A guy and a girl were upstairs on our couch, my mom told me, "wouldn't it be funny to turn all the lights on them?" We had a main bank of switch lights right at the top of the stairs that turned everything on! I ran out there and did it and came rushing back bent over from laughing! what fun! Then she told me to go check and see if they were gone. They were.
Or to keep your secrets close to the vest!
