the awkward way reading affects my life

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Kaity

Member
Aug 4, 2015
22
111
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So I recently was hired at a bookstore (yay dream job,)
and I've had a bit of a hilarious situation occur.

When I first started, I had literally just finished the book "needful things"
and if you have read it, you will remember the very weird sex scenes between myra, cora, and elvis presley.

Well, my boss is a big fan of elvis. She has his music on shuffle along with other stuff. And every time it comes on, I honestly can't stop laughing because I just think about them having imaginary sexual encounters whilst humping a picture frame.
 

GNTLGNT

The idiot is IN
Jun 15, 2007
87,651
358,754
62
Cambridge, Ohio
So I recently was hired at a bookstore (yay dream job,)
and I've had a bit of a hilarious situation occur.

When I first started, I had literally just finished the book "needful things"
and if you have read it, you will remember the very weird sex scenes between myra, cora, and elvis presley.

Well, my boss is a big fan of elvis. She has his music on shuffle along with other stuff. And every time it comes on, I honestly can't stop laughing because I just think about them having imaginary sexual encounters whilst humping a picture frame.
dfc14b530f56cb972363fc728fca5d07.jpg
...the King is not amused....
 

Walter Oobleck

keeps coming back...or going, and going, and going
Mar 6, 2013
11,749
34,805
We were in Houston this once, went there from Florida to build a house for an electrician whose parents lived near Houston, Anhuac. Don't recall exactly where it was, some amusement park I think, Astro-World maybe? We go there on a weekend and they had an Elvis show...impersonator. Boss's wife saw the poster and the marque and that was all she wrote. We're not going anywhere until we see Elvis...and not even the real Elvis...some guy in a jump-suit and greased-back hair. Boss, myself, and two other co-workers set down in the back, there he is couple hundred feet away, prancing on stage and there goes the boss's wife. She couldn't get down there quick enough. Boss...whose name was Law, verily, hallelujah...is groaning god-almighty! over and over. I'm grinning 'cause his wife is be-bopping up and down, beaming up at Elvis, singing about the hound dog blues. At the time I thought it was a hoot, this old lady getting all hot and bothered...she comes back all flushed and panting heavy, waving a hand in front of her face. The rest of the day is a blur...I think we rode the bull at Gilley's and got kicked by a bunch of Texans from Texas doing the Texas foot-stomp, Elvis forgotten. The board needs an Elvis thread maybe? Enough with Johnny and the rest.
 

CoriSCapnSkip

Well-Known Member
Jan 16, 2015
1,735
7,765
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If you ever get a chance to see Justin Shandar, he is considered the best look and sound-alike Elvis, and the part of his act where he sings "Teddy Bear" and hands out teddy bears to old ladies is absolutely adorable!
 
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blunthead

Well-Known Member
Aug 2, 2006
80,755
195,461
Atlanta GA
So I recently was hired at a bookstore (yay dream job,)
and I've had a bit of a hilarious situation occur.

When I first started, I had literally just finished the book "needful things"
and if you have read it, you will remember the very weird sex scenes between myra, cora, and elvis presley.

Well, my boss is a big fan of elvis. She has his music on shuffle along with other stuff. And every time it comes on, I honestly can't stop laughing because I just think about them having imaginary sexual encounters whilst humping a picture frame.
You might consider explaining to your new boss the inappropriate giggling, and especially the frame humping, before he starts sniffing you.
 
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Kaity

Member
Aug 4, 2015
22
111
28
You might consider explaining to your new boss the inappropriate giggling, and especially the frame humping, before he starts sniffing you.

She reads danielle steel...........I don't think she would understand :,)
 
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Pucker

We all have it coming, kid
May 9, 2010
2,906
6,242
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If you ever get a chance to see Justin Shandar, he is considered the best look and sound-alike Elvis, and the part of his act where he sings "Teddy Bear" and hands out teddy bears to old ladies is absolutely adorable!

I think a lot of people underestimate the value of a quality Teddy Bear.
 
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