Trying to quit...again

[TheRedQueen]

Yes ma'am, I definitely did. I quit eleven years ago when I found out I was going to be a father. For the previous decade before that, I had been a pack and half to two packs a day smoker. My wife quit before we ever decided to try and have a kid, but she was never the dedicated smoker that I was..lol, ok, here's the point to my ramble, eleven years later and I STILL WANT A CIGARETTE EVERY MORNING WHEN I WAKE UP AND ALL THROUGHOUT THE DAY......The one and only reason I don't start back up is because of my son....and the fact my wife would probably shove the pack of smokes up my nose if she found out I started back, but it's an everyday battle for me. It shouldn't be after this long, but it is, I don't understand why. If I see other people smoking, I just take a deep breath and move on, cigarette smoke does not smell bad to me at all, in fact, the smell of a Marlboro smells like fine wine to me. How messed up is that? My wife has no problem at all not smoking, she just walked away, cold turkey. I did also, but I've never been able to kick the habit mentally. I gained quite a bit of weight when I quit that I've never been able to completely lose. So, in closing, I completely understand how hard it is to kick the habit, health risks and second hand smoke aside, I still want one all the time.....

Oh lord, I hope this doesn't happen. Or else I'll be dead early...but they'll bury me with a smile on my face, that's for damn sure!

The funny thing is, even while I was pregnant, I wanted a smoke so bad it drove me nuts. If I hung around my husband while he smoked, I about died. It smelled so good! I totally get that! I only smoke six a day--coffin nails, not packs--and I've had other smokers tell me not to stress it, so few aren't a problem. And I am so tempted to believe them...

I think half my problem with quitting, besides the fact I like smoking, is the fact that non smokers drive me nuts. At least, the ones I know personally. The smokers in my life are better people all the way around, and I frankly don't want the stigma of being a non-smoker. But then I don't want my son to become a smoker, and I have to lead by example.

Also, I smoke the organic American Spirits, and those things are expensive. Between me and my husband, we spend well over a hundred bucks a month. The cost is what has us on the topic of quitting. Not the health benefits. That's how bad we are.

 

[TheRedQueen]

I'm in the same boat. I've tried quitting but the most I've gone without is two days. Hopefully, we can be supportive of each other on our journeys to quit. It's really hard. The cravings are especially tough. That's what gets me each time.

A supportive friend is exactly what I need! My husband wants us to set a "quit date" for the end of the month, not sure which day exactly, but I'd sure be willing to let you know so you can keep me accountable!

And if you need the favor returned, just ask.

 

[danie]

stigma of being a non-smoker

I got a stigma?

 

[GNTLGNT]

I got a stigma?

...I can have it removed for you...nothing shall mar thine blonde goddessness....

 

[danie]

...I can have it removed for you...nothing shall mar thine blonde goddessness....

I didn't know I had one...I do have astigmatism. Is that the same thing?

 

[ghost19]

Oh lord, I hope this doesn't happen. Or else I'll be dead early...but they'll bury me with a smile on my face, that's for damn sure!

The funny thing is, even while I was pregnant, I wanted a smoke so bad it drove me nuts. If I hung around my husband while he smoked, I about died. It smelled so good! I totally get that! I only smoke six a day--coffin nails, not packs--and I've had other smokers tell me not to stress it, so few aren't a problem. And I am so tempted to believe them...

I think half my problem with quitting, besides the fact I like smoking, is the fact that non smokers drive me nuts. At least, the ones I know personally. The smokers in my life are better people all the way around, and I frankly don't want the stigma of being a non-smoker. But then I don't want my son to become a smoker, and I have to lead by example.

Also, I smoke the organic American Spirits, and those things are expensive. Between me and my husband, we spend well over a hundred bucks a month. The cost is what has us on the topic of quitting. Not the health benefits. That's how bad we are.

LOL, I hear ya. Those American Spirit smokes ARE high dollar, I smoked those for a while. Near the end of my smoking career, I began buying "Drum" tobacco by the pound and rolling my own A la Roland Deschain. I quickly re-acquired my college joint rolling skills and applied them to rolling my own smokes which came in handy. Only bad thing was, everyone except me seemed to see my rolling my own smokes as some sort of silly-assed novelty or something. Anyone who came to my house that smoked wanted me to "roll them one"...lol. As much as the nicotine buzz, I enjoyed the whole ritual of smoking, packing the smokes, carrying my trusty zippo around....I'm tellin' ya, if that zippo could talk....I kept if for years and I still have it...lol. I think the hardest time was the last trimester of my wife's pregnancy. She was on medically prescribed bed rest for the most part and she was........moody, I guess would be the most benign word..lol. Most days between not smoking, trying to make sure she was comfortable AND being blamed for her pregnancy in general, I wanted to go find a corner and mainline a carton of Marlboros. I'm pretty sure my son would faint if he saw me smoking a cigarette. His age group is all about non-smoking, cleaning up the environment, blah blah blah, etc. lol.

 

[do1you9love?]

No advice, just wishing you good luck!

((DarkKrystl))

 

[FlakeNoir]

LOL, I hear ya. Those American Spirit smokes ARE high dollar, I smoked those for a while. Near the end of my smoking career, I began buying "Drum" tobacco by the pound and rolling my own A la Roland Deschain. I quickly re-acquired my college joint rolling skills and applied them to rolling my own smokes which came in handy. Only bad thing was, everyone except me seemed to see my rolling my own smokes as some sort of silly-assed novelty or something. Anyone who came to my house that smoked wanted me to "roll them one"...lol. As much as the nicotine buzz, I enjoyed the whole ritual of smoking, packing the smokes, carrying my trusty zippo around....I'm tellin' ya, if that zippo could talk....I kept if for years and I still have it...lol. I think the hardest time was the last trimester of my wife's pregnancy. She was on medically prescribed bed rest for the most part and she was........moody, I guess would be the most benign word..lol. Most days between not smoking, trying to make sure she was comfortable AND being blamed for her pregnancy in general, I wanted to go find a corner and mainline a carton of Marlboros. I'm pretty sure my son would faint if he saw me smoking a cigarette. His age group is all about non-smoking, cleaning up the environment, blah blah blah, etc. lol.

Ah... you brought back a memory. I once rolled a smoke with one hand on horse back. (also "Drum" brand)

 

[ghost19]

Ah... you brought back a memory. I once rolled a smoke with one hand on horse back. (also "Drum" brand)

You are now, officially, the coolest girl I've never actually met

Were you wearing a cowboy/girl hat whilst rolling the smoke?

 

[TheRedQueen]

I got a stigma?

Of course not! I really should have been more clear, I don't want to offend anyone here; you have all been so kind to me, I'm sorry I wasn't more clear.


The people I meant, the non smokers I don't want to be associated with, well...They're my family. My mom is the only one that makes some kind of effort to keep me in her life, and I can't even keep her happy for long. The rest of my "family" essentially deserted me when I needed them most.

And none of them smoke.

When I hit rock bottom, smokers, ex-cons, heathens thieves and drug addicts were there for me. The scum of society that most people try to ignore, that's the kind of people that stepped up to the plate and saved my life when my own family turned their backs on me. Most of these people were my freaking coworkers for crying out loud. maybe not as close to me as my bestie became, but I still credit them with saving my life and sanity.

Plus, my Daddy was a smoker. I adored him. He was the only real father I had, even though others have tried to fill his shoes. My stepfather, the evil sonofab***, never touched a smoke in his life. So I think I have some association issues to work through.

I want to be a good person that my friends can count on. So I'm a smoker. Makes sense right?

...right?

 

[TheRedQueen]

You are now, officially, the coolest girl I've never actually met

I agree completely.

 

[FlakeNoir]

You are now, officially, the coolest girl I've never actually met

Were you wearing a cowboy/girl hat whilst rolling the smoke?

I am now about to break apart your image of me... so sad. *sigh*
I had a baseball cap... on backwards. And the smoke turned out so sh1tty, that half the stuffing came out and burnt my leg after I'd lit it. (The horse was fine...!)
So... I gave the backy to my boyfriend and he rolled us one, he held the reins in his mouth and did it two-handed!

 

[danie]

Of course not! I really should have been more clear, I don't want to offend anyone here; you have all been so kind to me, I'm sorry I wasn't more clear.


The people I meant, the non smokers I don't want to be associated with, well...They're my family. My mom is the only one that makes some kind of effort to keep me in her life, and I can't even keep her happy for long. The rest of my "family" essentially deserted me when I needed them most.

And none of them smoke.

When I hit rock bottom, smokers, ex-cons, heathens thieves and drug addicts were there for me. The scum of society that most people try to ignore, that's the kind of people that stepped up to the plate and saved my life when my own family turned their backs on me. Most of these people were my freaking coworkers for crying out loud. maybe not as close to me as my bestie became, but I still credit them with saving my life and sanity.

Plus, my Daddy was a smoker. I adored him. He was the only real father I had, even though others have tried to fill his shoes. My stepfather, the evil sonofab***, never touched a smoke in his life. So I think I have some association issues to work through.

I want to be a good person that my friends can count on. So I'm a smoker. Makes sense right?

...right?

I was just kiddin with ya DK!

I'm totally estranged from my family too, so I understand the negative connotations you make with 'those people.' My 'family' deserted me too. I had to rescue myself. That's probably why I'm so weird. But I like my weirdness, so that's good.

Your feelings are completely rational.

 

[ghost19]

I am now about to break apart your image of me... so sad. *sigh*
I had a baseball cap... on backwards. And the smoke turned out so sh1tty, that half the stuffing came out and burnt my leg after I'd lit it. (The horse was fine...!)
So... I gave the backy to my boyfriend and he rolled us one, he held the reins in his mouth and did it two-handed!

Still, an A+ for the effort on that one for sure

 

[danie]

I am now about to break apart your image of me... so sad. *sigh*
I had a baseball cap... on backwards. And the smoke turned out so sh1tty, that half the stuffing came out and burnt my leg after I'd lit it. (The horse was fine...!)
So... I gave the backy to my boyfriend and he rolled us one, he held the reins in his mouth and did it two-handed!

This is still a very cute image of the two of you...

 

[TheRedQueen]

LOL, I hear ya. Those American Spirit smokes ARE high dollar, I smoked those for a while. Near the end of my smoking career, I began buying "Drum" tobacco by the pound and rolling my own A la Roland Deschain. I quickly re-acquired my college joint rolling skills and applied them to rolling my own smokes which came in handy. Only bad thing was, everyone except me seemed to see my rolling my own smokes as some sort of silly-assed novelty or something. Anyone who came to my house that smoked wanted me to "roll them one"...lol. As much as the nicotine buzz, I enjoyed the whole ritual of smoking, packing the smokes, carrying my trusty zippo around....I'm tellin' ya, if that zippo could talk....I kept if for years and I still have it...lol. I think the hardest time was the last trimester of my wife's pregnancy. She was on medically prescribed bed rest for the most part and she was........moody, I guess would be the most benign word..lol. Most days between not smoking, trying to make sure she was comfortable AND being blamed for her pregnancy in general, I wanted to go find a corner and mainline a carton of Marlboros. I'm pretty sure my son would faint if he saw me smoking a cigarette. His age group is all about non-smoking, cleaning up the environment, blah blah blah, etc. lol.

Oh I am so sorry...I don't experience the moodiness during pregnancy, but after? Oh boy. Take the baby and run for cover for at least a month. There's a reason I ain't goin through that mess again.

And I've often thought of breaking out my Daddy's old wooden pipe and getting some "old fashioned" tobacco. I couldn't roll a smoke to save my life. I can't even roll a joint! But his old pipe, that might be something I have to do once before I quit for good.

God but I miss my Daddy still...

 

[ghost19]

Oh I am so sorry...I don't experience the moodiness during pregnancy, but after? Oh boy. Take the baby and run for cover for at least a month. There's a reason I ain't goin through that mess again.

And I've often thought of breaking out my Daddy's old wooden pipe and getting some "old fashioned" tobacco. I couldn't roll a smoke to save my life. I can't even roll a joint! But his old pipe, that might be something I have to do once before I quit for good.

God but I miss my Daddy still...

Sorry about your dad ma'am. I remember my wife watching me roll a smoke, she kind of looked at me funny and said "You seem to be quite adept at that, prior experience?" I said something like, "aw shucks, ain't nothin' ma'am"...cleverly avoiding actually answering the question.....speaking of rolling join....I mean smokes, there was this Nine Inch Nails concert one time I went to back in 1994 and I.....ahhh, never mind....lol....

 

[TheRedQueen]

Sorry about your dad ma'am. I remember my wife watching me roll a smoke, she kind of looked at me funny and said "You seem to be quite adept at that, prior experience?" I said something like, "aw shucks, ain't nothin' ma'am"...cleverly avoiding actually answering the question.....speaking of rolling join....I mean smokes, there was this Nine Inch Nails concert one time I went to back in 1994 and I.....ahhh, never mind....lol....

Ha! I went to a Tool concert last year, and it looked like someone put fog machines in the place. I didn't have anything questionable on me, but by the time I left it didn't matter!

 

[mcpon14]

Speaking of cigarettes, I just saw someone pick up a half-burnt cigarette off of the ground, light it up and smoke it. Gross.

 

[Dana Jean]

I haven't smoked in 31 years.

I had habit cigarettes. Every time I bought a coke at a fast food joint, smoked. Got in the car, smoked. First thing in the morning, smoked. After I ate, smoked. What I did was just eliminate one of those "habit" cigarettes a week. I smoked all the others, but not the one I was working on. Once I conquered it, I moved onto the next habit one. It took me about a month or 3 to quit.