Were you "popular"

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mustangclaire

There's petrol runnin' through my veins.
Jun 15, 2010
2,956
12,726
52
East Sussex, UK
Having an identical twin always seemed to make me and my sister a bit of an oddity at school. Plus we moved a fair bit. I never seemed to make friends in junior school as we were never there that long. It wasn't until I started senior school in Rye when I was 14 that I made friends. My best mate was a boy called Gareth. We'd go fishing together. Make tapes and post them to each other in the school holidays. I think girls have a harder time at school "friend wise" than boys. Girls can be mean. However, I would consider my time at secondary school a happy time. As always, great thread.
 

Grandpa

Well-Known Member
Mar 2, 2014
9,724
53,642
Colorado
Whatever "popular" means, I was the opposite of it. You know when the kids go to the cafeteria, and within the knots of conversation, there's always at least one sitting off by himself? That was me. There were mean kids, sure, and they didn't help, but I put the blame squarely on my own shoulders. I kept people distant.

I have a lot of friends now, and a number of those friendships are deep, meaningful, and bring such a quality to my life that I'm wondering what my problem was.
 

blunthead

Well-Known Member
Aug 2, 2006
80,755
195,461
Atlanta GA
Whatever "popular" means, I was the opposite of it. You know when the kids go to the cafeteria, and within the knots of conversation, there's always at least one sitting off by himself? That was me. There were mean kids, sure, and they didn't help, but I put the blame squarely on my own shoulders. I kept people distant.

I have a lot of friends now, and a number of those friendships are deep, meaningful, and bring such a quality to my life that I'm wondering what my problem was.
When we discuss popularity I notice we usually focus on high school years (or their equivalent, wherever), which surround that age where others' opinions of us seem crucial. For me high school lasted five years. The first three I spent involuntarily in the unpopular category, and despised it, because I didn't deserve it. Up until then I'd been an important, essential even, part of the little society my friends and I had naturally created in our little neighborhood; our little world. When I became a junior in high school I found I'd accumulated friends; acceptance. Then things kind of rocketed when the drummer of the local rock band asked me to be the band's "equipment manager".
 

GNTLGNT

The idiot is IN
Jun 15, 2007
87,651
358,754
62
Cambridge, Ohio
...nope, was never popular...have tons of "people I know", but no stereotyped Hallmark Channel circle of friends...because of being large and tall, I was always a target, quite socially awkward as a kid with no self-confidence...self-confidence still sucks, but because of careers-my ability to navigate social events has improved...Tracy is my best friend, and short of you folks here-the only friend I can count on....
 

Grandpa

Well-Known Member
Mar 2, 2014
9,724
53,642
Colorado
When we discuss popularity I notice we usually focus on high school years (or their equivalent, wherever), which surround that age where others' opinions of us seem crucial. For me high school lasted five years. The first three I spent involuntarily in the unpopular category, and despised it, because I didn't deserve it. Up until then I'd been an important, essential even, part of the little society my friends and I had naturally created in our little neighborhood; our little world. When I became a junior in high school I found I'd accumulated friends; acceptance. Then things kind of rocketed when the drummer of the local rock band asked me to be the band's "equipment manager".

It was weird. When I started college, I started making friends. It's like once I had people approach me and like me, a lot of the resentful baggage that I always carried disappeared.
 

Mr Nobody

Well-Known Member
Jul 9, 2008
3,306
9,050
Walsall, England
I was never popular, and never really wanted to be. I had more acquaintances than actual friends in school, but the friends I did have were good ones (and are to this day). The same carried on into work, come to think of it; a lot of guys I played football, etc, with have long since gone by the wayside, but in 2010 I was best man for a former workmate who'd become a fast friend. He moved to another part of the country with his work, but we're still in touch and get together if and when we can.
But then, I don't always play nicely with others and I'm not always the most sparkling company, so I guess that plays a part too. Basically, I like to be liked, but it doesn't break my heart if I'm not.
 

Kurben

The Fool on the Hill
Apr 12, 2014
9,682
65,192
59
sweden
I was definitely not popular. Rather the opposite. Right through nine years of schooling i was the mobbed kid in class. Has a knifewound that is the gift of one of my classmates. And they peed on my clothes a couple of times (hilarious, right?) and ripped my books apart and alot of other things too. Not all of the class of course but enough to make the rest take the decision rather him than me even if they didn't do anything. There was one girl that iknown from kindergarten and she spoke up but nobody else did. It stopped when i choose which kind of gymnasium (thats where you go when you're about 15 in our schoolsystem) but i didn't make friends there mostly because i didn't trust people anymore. It was not until university three years later that i started to make friends again.
 

Mr Nobody

Well-Known Member
Jul 9, 2008
3,306
9,050
Walsall, England
I lost one of my girls in high school i would have 3 friends and i miss her greatly :(

I lost a mate of mine a couple of years after school. He had a heart issue, wonky valve or something, and one day it blew out. I'd been in his back garden, waffling away about stuff, future plans, the usual, just half an hour before.
He was younger than me by about 5 months, and was still just 17 (I hadn't long turned 18). I'd known him since we were 7-8 and we got plonked next to each other by a teacher who thought we'd never get on.
That was tough. Very tough. But there was no choice but to get through it and remember...and most of what I remember now is good. I think I can live with that.
 

Riot87

Jamaica's Finest
Mar 7, 2014
2,377
13,990
36
United States
I lost a mate of mine a couple of years after school. He had a heart issue, wonky valve or something, and one day it blew out. I'd been in his back garden, waffling away about stuff, future plans, the usual, just half an hour before.
He was younger than me by about 5 months, and was still just 17 (I hadn't long turned 18). I'd known him since we were 7-8 and we got plonked next to each other by a teacher who thought we'd never get on.
That was tough. Very tough. But there was no choice but to get through it and remember...and most of what I remember now is good. I think I can live with that.



R.I.P to your mate

seems like alot of peoole die to young these days for stupid reasons.
 

jacobtlong

Well-Known Member
Jun 13, 2008
3,646
4,879
33
Mobile, Alabama
Well, if we are talking about high school years, then I'll say that there was a group of folks that surrounded me. But I was very socially awkward and kept to myself as much as I could. I just mostly hung around, keeping quiet, in the company of these particular people.

I've always kind of kept to my own thing and haven't been concerned with popularity too much. I'm sure I wasn't popular in school and am still not now.

My brother played in the marching band at the same school and for the most part we had the same teachers all through our school years, but we were complete opposites. I knew the teachers were comparing me to my brother and I was missing the mark, but I didn't mind so much. He was very popular and a lot of people knew him and still do. Deservedly so, too.

Focusing on popularity can lead to an increase in insecurities in me, I've found. I'd rather focus on what I think than on what others think. I've always been able to get along with folks though, but I've just always chosen to not stick out so much.
 

blunthead

Well-Known Member
Aug 2, 2006
80,755
195,461
Atlanta GA
jenny-forrest-young.jpg
Girls, Forrest!!! Run, Forrest, Run!!!
 

CriticAndProud

Not actually dead, just very inactive.
Aug 26, 2013
5,955
24,608
24
Australia
As I respond to this, I am having my head dunked in the toilet. That should answer the question. Kidding !!!!

I'm rather well-liked amongst most groups at school, but I have my own circle of friends. And a loooottttt of nicknames as well.

And the MB as well :)
 

EvieLucinda

Well-Known Member
Sep 21, 2014
197
723
Tennessee
I for one am glad that high school was not destiny.
Amen!

In high school I was part of a gang of 4 girls who did everything together until one girl in our group did a "mean girl" and I was left out in the cold. Other than that, I was not one of the popular kids, but was nice to everyone.

BTW, the mean girl asked me to help organize our 10 year reunion. I told her no that I didn't want to be a part of all the gossiping and cliches that would go on. She immediately started gossiping about a guy from our class. I politely said I had to go and hung up. Later an old boyfriend told me everyone got back into their old cliches and it was same old, same old.

Today it is much the same at work. Have some mean girls who torment me, but am liked by most I think. I try to be good to everyone. No close friends though.
 

HollyGolightly

Well-Known Member
Sep 6, 2013
9,660
74,320
54
Heart of the South
In 7th grade we moved to a small town in TN - population 1200. It was like living in a fishbowl. I was a lot different than everyone there- they'd all known each other their entire lives, many were related. I was intriguing to some because I was new. I was friendly to everyone, no one really disliked me, but I only had 2 really good friends. Senior year I awarded the distinguished "Superflirt" award. I know that's surprising to you, right? I got the heck out of there as soon as I could.

Kurben (((you))) and everyone who had to get through those years being bullied and tortured. I had my share of it in Mobile AL.
 

Riot87

Jamaica's Finest
Mar 7, 2014
2,377
13,990
36
United States
Having an identical twin always seemed to make me and my sister a bit of an oddity at school. Plus we moved a fair bit. I never seemed to make friends in junior school as we were never there that long. It wasn't until I started senior school in Rye when I was 14 that I made friends. My best mate was a boy called Gareth. We'd go fishing together. Make tapes and post them to each other in the school holidays. I think girls have a harder time at school "friend wise" than boys. Girls can be mean. However, I would consider my time at secondary school a happy time. As always, great thread.


Is your twin sis into Stephen King as well?
 

skimom2

Just moseyin' through...
Oct 9, 2013
15,683
92,168
USA
Nah. Not a goat (and I thank god for that), but probably invisible to the 'in' crowd. Funny thing was, it never crossed my mind to care until years later--lol. I was happy with my friends, lost in my books, and generally a pretty content American :)