I've always said I want to be cremated and my ashes flushed down the toilet. I'm big on symbolism. But my wife says she'll refuse to follow my final wishes. Seems I can't win in life or death.
What do you want on your tombstone?
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Suggest spreading them in a lake or river or ocean instead. Perhaps she will find that easier to accept? A better symbolism perhaps....??
NO no no no NO! No cremation! I want to rot and be dug up by future archaeologists as God intended. How else will they discover my exploding carnation and fart machine ten seconds after prying open the lid? I will pay for the service ahead of time with burial insurance. Deep in my dark heart is a love of archaeology. That is another thing I will plan. What to have in my pockets to exemplify the age and there has to be some joke about opening the lid. Maybe I will be on a spring or something and pop up. I really do want a fart machine to go off in the middle of the wake, preferably when the final eulogy is given. I considered a Viking funeral (actually have that in my genealogy) but then you just wash up a burnt corpse. It's worms for me.
Oh don't you laugh when a hearse goes by
For someday you too will die
They wrap you up in a big white sheet
And drop you down about six feet
Then all goes well for about a week
Until the casket begins to leak
The worms crawl in the worms crawl out
The worms play peaknuckle on your snout
And blood seeps out like ketchup through bread
That's what happens when you are deeeeeeeaaaaaaad!
Oh don't you laugh when a hearse goes by
For someday you too will die
They wrap you up in a big white sheet
And drop you down about six feet
Then all goes well for about a week
Until the casket begins to leak
The worms crawl in the worms crawl out
The worms play peaknuckle on your snout
And blood seeps out like ketchup through bread
That's what happens when you are deeeeeeeaaaaaaad!
Omgosh I just snorted!
May I ask a question. For how long you have to buy the piece of land where you got buried? In Germany it's between 25 and 35 years.
I guess I get cremated for that reason as well.
I guess I get cremated for that reason as well.
I intend to rot on a "body farm" at a school for forensic anthropology (after organ donation if possible). At this point, I will likely select Texas State University due to proximity to save money for my next of kin on transporting my body. After they are done with my juicy parts, the bones are cleaned and cataloged and stored there for further educational purposes. I originally looked into being a dissection cadaver for a med school, but that would eliminate the possibility of organ donation and I'd like that to occur first and foremost.
The book I tend to recommend on death is Stiff by Mary Roach- but I'm anxious to check out more, truly fascinated with it all.
The book I tend to recommend on death is Stiff by Mary Roach- but I'm anxious to check out more, truly fascinated with it all.
There are places here that you can get the day before if you want but most churchyard burials are free where I am. I plan to be buried under an old oak next to my parents.
Now give some more last words folks!
It short be short..... Hmmm How about "Release me!"
I'm going to be cremated but folks can still visit me. I want to be planted as a tree in my home town's square. Less chance of being chopped down, a lovely setting, and lots of vibrant young folks to watch over in a college town.
It's just a matter of deciding which tree to become. I've narrowed it down to two. Buckeye or monkey balls.
It's just a matter of deciding which tree to become. I've narrowed it down to two. Buckeye or monkey balls.
I used to want a simple cremation, then whatever. Maybe a military cemetery, because I qualify and it's free.
But like Leppsie, I've become a bit enamored with the burial in a pod around tree roots thing. For me, the best use of my mortal coil would be to nurture new life. Somewhere floating in my skull is a vision, 50 years from now, of maybe a blue spruce, maybe in the mountains, maybe in a park, and if you crawl under the branches and climb a little, you might just find a little brass plaque that says Grandpa.
But like Leppsie, I've become a bit enamored with the burial in a pod around tree roots thing. For me, the best use of my mortal coil would be to nurture new life. Somewhere floating in my skull is a vision, 50 years from now, of maybe a blue spruce, maybe in the mountains, maybe in a park, and if you crawl under the branches and climb a little, you might just find a little brass plaque that says Grandpa.
That's gonna freak some little kids out!
It's part of the job description of "Grandpa."
Monkey Balls?? Somehow it doesn't sound like a tree.... More like a heavy metal band.
Neesy
#1 fan (Annie Wilkes cousin) 1st cousin Mom's side
Neesy
#1 fan (Annie Wilkes cousin) 1st cousin Mom's side
Wow - just learned an awful lot about Monkey Ball (or Osage orange tree)
- pretty cool!
Permaculture Plants: Osage Orange | Temperate Climate Permaculture
We probably don't have any where I live, since it is not a temperate climate
I had to read it for college, and remember being horrified.
Since I live about two feet above sea level, I'm choosing to be cremated and interred in a mausoleum. My husband and I bought a double-decker grave a few years ago, but since we've separated I'm guessing it's his now. That's okay - my parents said I can join them up in "the wall."
Which is better, in fact, since I have a horror of worms.I guess I'll choose something short for my little slot in the wall: Turning back, she just laughs (Elton John fan)
The death industry is a lot like the wedding industry, I suppose. One of my favorite scenes in "Bag of Bones" was where Mike and his brother were at the bar, talking about how the brother had dickered to get the coffin price down. Which is awesome, IMO.