What do you want on your tombstone?

[Dana Jean]

The death industry is a lot like the wedding industry, I suppose. One of my favorite scenes in "Bag of Bones" was where Mike and his brother were at the bar, talking about how the brother had dickered to get the coffin price down. Which is awesome, IMO.

And I think the wedding industry is a huge rip off. I know that probably most of the people on this board had big fancy weddings. And good for you! Everyone should have what they want. I, personally, think it is a huge waste of money. Most -- if not all-- of my friends who had big wedding shindigs are divorced. I was a bridesmaid in a friend's wedding that was well over 25,000 dollars and that was 30 years ago! So very expensive for then and still expensive to me, now. But that cost can pale next to some of today's weddings. They lasted a year. And yes, there are many many many people who've had gorgeous big weddings and are still married and going strong to this day.

I got married by a judge in about 15 minutes, and spent the money on furniture and a future home. That was my choice.

But, that doesn't mean I don't love to see beautiful weddings. I enjoy seeing happy days and the promise of things to come for people. .

 

[Maddie]

One of the strangest gravestones Id ever seen ... it was in 3 pieces on the ground when I saw it, in this photo has been glued back together, and it had been struck by lightning, as the fortune teller whose grave it were, had predicted would happen 3 times, prior to her death. The burial was in a church yard. The site is one of Georgias haunted locations now where another stone was placed that erased the existence of this one.

I am not sure about what to put on a stone. Absolutely cremation. I am loving Leppladys idea though about a tree, one somewhere in a lovely old cemetery , where lots of crows love to hang out in a creepy old tree.

I love cemeteries and they should always exist, I do believe that eventually in time, cremation will rule and full body burials will become obsolete and a thing of the past, though I still sincerely hope not.

When my beautiful mother passed, she had a vey special request. There were no available spaces in the family plot where her parents lie, and she asked to be cremated, and that myself, my brother and my sister, hold on to her ashes, and when we were 'ready' she wanted us to take her ashes to the cemetery and bury them in a very small space in the lot, right near her parents.

When we were discussing arrangements with the very young funeral director and told him about her wishes, he assisted us, and made it perfectly legal, he even accompanied us after the service, to do that, and without any charge. He even gave me a hug that day, when I reached to shake his hand. It was special.

 

[GNTLGNT]

It's part of the job description of "Grandpa."

...now I saw you in Colorado and you had nary a pine needle anywhere.....

 

[GNTLGNT]

One of the strangest gravestones Id ever seen ... it was in 3 pieces on the ground when I saw it, in this photo has been glued back together, and it had been struck by lightning, as the fortune teller whose grave it were, had predicted would happen 3 times, prior to her death. The burial was in a church yard. The site is one of Georgias haunted locations now where another stone was placed that erased the existence of this one.

I am not sure about what to put on a stone. Absolutely cremation. I am loving Leppladys idea though about a tree, one somewhere in a lovely old cemetery , where lots of crows love to hang out in a creepy old tree.

I love cemeteries and they should always exist, I do believe that eventually in time, cremation will rule and full body burials will become obsolete and a thing of the past, though I still sincerely hope not.

When my beautiful mother passed, she had a vey special request. There were no available spaces in the family plot where her parents lie, and she asked to be cremated, and that myself, my brother and my sister, hold on to her ashes, and when we were 'ready' she wanted us to take her ashes to the cemetery and bury them in a very small space in the lot, right near her parents.

When we were discussing arrangements with the very young funeral director and told him about her wishes, he assisted us, and made it perfectly legal, he even accompanied us after the service, to do that, and without any charge. He even gave me a hug that day, when I reached to shake his hand. It was special.

....when the opportunity presents itself, I love tramping through old boneyards....here's a couple of my favorites I took at one of our local spots...

 

[GNTLGNT]

....GaGa fan?....

 

[GNTLGNT]

 

[GNTLGNT]

 

[doowopgirl]

I want to be cremated as well. I couldn't stand the thought of money and time being spent on a grave when I won't care. Either keep the ashes or fling into the sea. That decision would be up to my son.

 

[kingricefan]

Omgosh I just snorted!

 

[fljoe0]

I'm going to be cremated so it should say 'Best piece of ash EVER!'

 

[staropeace]

I told you I was sick

 

[DiO'Bolic]

Suggest spreading them in a lake or river or ocean instead. Perhaps she will find that easier to accept? A better symbolism perhaps....??

I'll take that, I guess. I'm an avid fisherman. Perhaps in death the fish get a little payback.

 

[DiO'Bolic]

I don't understand cremation to nursing a tree or plants. If the goal would be to nourish nature wouldn't it be better to be turned into compost upon our demise. Or be turned into dog food to nourish man's best friend. Or turned into Soylent Green to feed the starving masses.

 

[80sFan]

And I think the wedding industry is a huge rip off. I know that probably most of the people on this board had big fancy weddings. And good for you! Everyone should have what they want. I, personally, think it is a huge waste of money. Most -- if not all-- of my friends who had big wedding shindigs are divorced. I was a bridesmaid in a friend's wedding that was well over 25,000 dollars and that was 30 years ago! So very expensive for then and still expensive to me, now. But that cost can pale next to some of today's weddings. They lasted a year. And yes, there are many many many people who've had gorgeous big weddings and are still married and going strong to this day.

I got married by a judge in about 15 minutes, and spent the money on furniture and a future home. That was my choice.

But, that doesn't mean I don't love to see beautiful weddings. I enjoy seeing happy days and the promise of things to come for people. .

We spent $100 on our wedding (including the marriage license).
We wore clothes we already had and exchanged rings we'd already bought one another.
We had a kid already and money was tight... that was in the 90s...still together though.
I know couples who still had wedding debt when the filed for divorce.

 

[AnnaMarie]

....GaGa fan?....

This makes me sad. 3 1/2 months and no name. Maybe the baby was born to early or something and they knew he or she wouldn't survive. Maybe they thought it would be easier to say goodbye if they didn't get attached....and name their baby.

 

[AnnaMarie]

I intend to rot on a "body farm" at a school for forensic anthropology (after organ donation if possible). At this point, I will likely select Texas State University due to proximity to save money for my next of kin on transporting my body. After they are done with my juicy parts, the bones are cleaned and cataloged and stored there for further educational purposes. I originally looked into being a dissection cadaver for a med school, but that would eliminate the possibility of organ donation and I'd like that to occur first and foremost.

The book I tend to recommend on death is Stiff by Mary Roach- but I'm anxious to check out more, truly fascinated with it all.

The father of the family that introduced me to my husband donated his body to a medical school. He had undergone many operations...I think some kind of surgery on all major organs.

When Bill was in the hospital recovering from a surgery the doctor actually said it would be interesting to see inside Bill....nobody really knew how everything could be working. (This was back in the 70's.) The two of them talked about it. Bill could not donate organs, but allowing them to see the results of all the combinations of surgeries....that could help others. So he said sure.

 

[Grandpa]

I don't understand cremation to nursing a tree or plants. If the goal would be to nourish nature wouldn't it be better to be turned into compost upon our demise. Or be turned into dog food to nourish man's best friend. Or turned into Soylent Green to feed the starving masses.

Compost? I agree, better. Two words, though:

Health regulations.

Yeah, it's always The Man keepin' us down.

 

[do1you9love?]

I don't have strong feelings either way about cremation. I'll be long gone by that point. BUT I do have strong feelings about scattering ashes. I think that should be left to the family to decide (if there is family). My dad and brother were both cremated--that's no biggie--and their ashes were handled differently. My brother resides on my mom's mantle; it creeps me out a bit, but it's her choice. She chose to have my dad's ashes scattered in a river, and I loathe that. I have from the beginning. Maybe it's because my grandma's second husband was a sexton and we grew up playing the cemetery where many of my ancestors are buried. Visiting them is comforting--our biggest family reunions have revolved around Memorial Day and visiting that cemetery as a group and talking and laughing about the people there. They're still part of the family, ya ken? There's nothing like that for my dad. It makes me very mournful. I won't do that to my kids--they can decide what happens. Maybe they won't care one way or another, and that's okay by me, as well. My preference would be burial, whether ashes or body.

My dad was cremated. He and my mom had pre-arranged, and paid for everything a few years back. His ashes were split into 4 small vials and one slightly bigger vial. Mom took one to his home town where they had a memorial service and scattered his ashes in the river. He now has a plaque next to his parents there. The other small vials were scattered at various river spots where he liked to canoe/bird watch. I posted a pic of one in the hometown thread. I have the vial from that location in my guest room next to his leather cap. Mom still has the biggest vial. When she passes, we'll do the same and I will have both of their big vials. I haven't yet decided if I will keep them, but the tree idea that Lepp and Grandpa mentioned is nice and I may look into that. In death, as in life, to each his own. It's the differences which make us special.

 

[Haunted]

If I get my last wishes my ashes will be buried in an unmarked grave on the grounds of a local monastery.

 

[DiO'Bolic]

Compost? I agree, better. Two words, though:

Health regulations.

Yeah, it's always The Man keepin' us down.

Meh... we just need to build a Soylent Green factory, power it by solar, staff it with the repressed, surround it with deciduous trees to absorb Co2 emissions, recycle all the water, and grease the palms of politicians... and voila, no more problems.