Why did she marry the lawyer ?

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Autumn Gust

Well-Known Member
Sep 20, 2012
3,360
15,346
People often have weird reasons for getting married. After a couple decades of reflection, I now realize the real reason I married my first husband was because I was a shy wallflower in high school and he was the star of the football team. Really, it all boiled down to that. :facepalm_smiley:
 

skimom2

Just moseyin' through...
Oct 9, 2013
15,683
92,168
USA
Doesn't mean there wasn't affection at the beginning. People change, and so do marriages. If you're lucky, you move in the same direction. In this case, they did not (sexually, anyway). Assuming Gerald "didn't care about her" is a bit of a stretch, too. He was excited by his game (and the result, though bad, wasn't something he anticipated), and so pushed for his own way, but that doesn't mean that in general he didn't care about her.
 

Neesy

#1 fan (Annie Wilkes cousin) 1st cousin Mom's side
May 24, 2012
61,289
239,271
Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
Out of cowardice ? Social / economical pressure ? One of her personalities prevailed ?
It has been a little while since I read this, and I have read this book twice. I do not think he was mean to her at first - their marriage had gotten humdrum and he wanted to spice things up a bit (but ended up getting more than he bargained for). A very creepy concept for a plot, though, don't you think? I liked this book.
 

krwhiting

Well-Known Member
Jan 5, 2015
258
1,081
57
Why does anyone marry anyone? I can tell you that my wife is WAY out of my league. I'm not just saying that. Every single male friend I have agrees entirely with that. When we meet new people they look at her, then me, then back at her and wonder how in Heaven's name did that happen. Seriously. My Pastor in Massachusetts told me that I "have a beautiful family." And we only had a baby at the time. What he meant, but would never say, was how did you land her. I passed up my own 20 year reunion at West Point to take her to her 20 year high school reunion (she was a cheerleader at her high school) because I wanted to see how her old friends responded to me. As expected, surprise. I've tried to post a picture from our wedding as an avatar but haven't been able to make it work. If I did, you'd understand what I'm saying. She's a stunningly beautiful woman.

I know why she says she married me: because I was always honest with her and she could trust me entirely. I know why I chased her: because she was crazy gorgeous. But after 21 years of marriage I agree that marriages change over time. I can tell you this though, I love her more and more every day. She is one of the most un-lazy people I know. She works all the time, at my office, taking care of the kids and the house. But mostly, I wake up each morning, look at her and pinch myself again...how did this happen? I'm the most blessed man in the world.

But, in this book, the way I read it was that she "settled" because she retreated from her past and let it affect how she saw herself and her worth. That may be wrong, but it's how I saw it.

Kelly
 

danie

I am whatever you say I am.
Feb 26, 2008
9,760
60,662
60
Kentucky
Why does anyone marry anyone? I can tell you that my wife is WAY out of my league. I'm not just saying that. Every single male friend I have agrees entirely with that. When we meet new people they look at her, then me, then back at her and wonder how in Heaven's name did that happen. Seriously. My Pastor in Massachusetts told me that I "have a beautiful family." And we only had a baby at the time. What he meant, but would never say, was how did you land her. I passed up my own 20 year reunion at West Point to take her to her 20 year high school reunion (she was a cheerleader at her high school) because I wanted to see how her old friends responded to me. As expected, surprise. I've tried to post a picture from our wedding as an avatar but haven't been able to make it work. If I did, you'd understand what I'm saying. She's a stunningly beautiful woman.

I know why she says she married me: because I was always honest with her and she could trust me entirely. I know why I chased her: because she was crazy gorgeous. But after 21 years of marriage I agree that marriages change over time. I can tell you this though, I love her more and more every day. She is one of the most un-lazy people I know. She works all the time, at my office, taking care of the kids and the house. But mostly, I wake up each morning, look at her and pinch myself again...how did this happen? I'm the most blessed man in the world.

But, in this book, the way I read it was that she "settled" because she retreated from her past and let it affect how she saw herself and her worth. That may be wrong, but it's how I saw it.

Kelly
It's obvious from this post why your wife married you. I'd say she's the lucky one.:apathy:
 

meaghan

Member
Dec 25, 2014
20
115
40
The whole book to me helps spell out the way our past chooses our future. She had a pervy father and a terrible mother and wanted out so she took the safe guy..." the lawyer ". A bunch of little stuff and some big stuff dictate the choices we make... usually there isn't any big one reason why you do anything... more like life is a big pro/con sheet you constantly run in your head to calculate what's next.
 

kingricefan

All-being, keeper of Space, Time & Dimension.
Jul 11, 2006
30,011
127,446
Spokane, WA
Why does anyone marry anyone? I can tell you that my wife is WAY out of my league. I'm not just saying that. Every single male friend I have agrees entirely with that. When we meet new people they look at her, then me, then back at her and wonder how in Heaven's name did that happen. Seriously. My Pastor in Massachusetts told me that I "have a beautiful family." And we only had a baby at the time. What he meant, but would never say, was how did you land her. I passed up my own 20 year reunion at West Point to take her to her 20 year high school reunion (she was a cheerleader at her high school) because I wanted to see how her old friends responded to me. As expected, surprise. I've tried to post a picture from our wedding as an avatar but haven't been able to make it work. If I did, you'd understand what I'm saying. She's a stunningly beautiful woman.

I know why she says she married me: because I was always honest with her and she could trust me entirely. I know why I chased her: because she was crazy gorgeous. But after 21 years of marriage I agree that marriages change over time. I can tell you this though, I love her more and more every day. She is one of the most un-lazy people I know. She works all the time, at my office, taking care of the kids and the house. But mostly, I wake up each morning, look at her and pinch myself again...how did this happen? I'm the most blessed man in the world.

But, in this book, the way I read it was that she "settled" because she retreated from her past and let it affect how she saw herself and her worth. That may be wrong, but it's how I saw it.

Kelly
Perhaps what that pastor meant by 'beautiful' was that he could see the joy in your and your wife's eyes? Stop worrying about what other folks think, my friend. You have someone who loves you, that's more than enough.
 

krwhiting

Well-Known Member
Jan 5, 2015
258
1,081
57
Perhaps what that pastor meant by 'beautiful' was that he could see the joy in your and your wife's eyes? Stop worrying about what other folks think, my friend. You have someone who loves you, that's more than enough.

Oh, I'm not worried about it. To tell the truth, I enjoy it. The only opinion that matters about my wife and I is hers. And she's been solid on that front from the moment we started dating. And you may be right about Pastor's intent. He was a special one that influenced me greatly. As much as my own Father. And he wasn't one to imply much. Pretty much spoke straight out. I like your read of what he said. I'll mull it a bit.

Kelly
 

blunthead

Well-Known Member
Aug 2, 2006
80,755
195,461
Atlanta GA
Why does anyone marry anyone? I can tell you that my wife is WAY out of my league. I'm not just saying that. Every single male friend I have agrees entirely with that. When we meet new people they look at her, then me, then back at her and wonder how in Heaven's name did that happen. Seriously. My Pastor in Massachusetts told me that I "have a beautiful family." And we only had a baby at the time. What he meant, but would never say, was how did you land her. I passed up my own 20 year reunion at West Point to take her to her 20 year high school reunion (she was a cheerleader at her high school) because I wanted to see how her old friends responded to me. As expected, surprise. I've tried to post a picture from our wedding as an avatar but haven't been able to make it work. If I did, you'd understand what I'm saying. She's a stunningly beautiful woman.

I know why she says she married me: because I was always honest with her and she could trust me entirely. I know why I chased her: because she was crazy gorgeous. But after 21 years of marriage I agree that marriages change over time. I can tell you this though, I love her more and more every day. She is one of the most un-lazy people I know. She works all the time, at my office, taking care of the kids and the house. But mostly, I wake up each morning, look at her and pinch myself again...how did this happen? I'm the most blessed man in the world.

But, in this book, the way I read it was that she "settled" because she retreated from her past and let it affect how she saw herself and her worth. That may be wrong, but it's how I saw it.

Kelly
Try resizing your photo smaller. Ms Mod helped me figure that out. Then use the Upload a File option for the posting window (lower righthand corner where Post Reply and Preview are). If you succeed then we'll all be able to see how grotesque (not) you are. Personally, I like seeing couples like how you describe you and your wife to be.

Some, if not most, beautiful women at some time in their lives feel their looks are a burden; even a curse, since no one really sees them. I think my little sister felt that way. She was humble despite looking like an angel. Her first hubby was gorgeous, but couldn't be trusted. Her second and final hubby wasn't gorgeous, but she'd learned her lesson by then, and she and he were very happy. (I say "were" because she passed away.)

I know people sometimes get married from one or more of a variety of wrong reasons. Mine was that I was tired of being alone and lonely while ignorant of how not to be, and went after someone who felt similarly. Believe it or not she and I were never really in love. So, if I ever remarry it will be to someone who I sincerely believe I must be with due to being in love, and who sincerely feels the same way about me. Differences will always be present, but so will love; so, arguments will be inevitable but they won't win.
 
Last edited:

krwhiting

Well-Known Member
Jan 5, 2015
258
1,081
57
It's obvious from this post why your wife married you. I'd say she's the lucky one.:apathy:

You're very kind. And she'd probably agree. She's always told me I'm perfect for her. And even when she's mad at me (not common, but it happens) and her blue eyes light up with anger, I can always see her love in there. I've had romances before her. I've seen the love-light die. It's one of the most painful things that can happen. I've never seen it with her. She's fiercely loyal and protective. I am too.

Kelly
 

krwhiting

Well-Known Member
Jan 5, 2015
258
1,081
57
Try resizing your photo smaller. Ms Mod helped me figure that out. Then use the Upload a File option for the posting window (lower righthand corner where Post Reply and Preview are). If you succeed then we'll all be able to see how grotesque (not) you are. Personally, I like seeing couples like how you describe you and your wife to be.

Some, if not most, beautiful women at some time in their lives feel their looks are a burden; even a curse, since no one really sees them. I think my little sister felt that way. She was humble despite looking like an angel. Her first hubby was gorgeous, but couldn't be trusted. Her second and final hubby wasn't gorgeous, but she'd learned her lesson by then, and she and he were very happy. (I say "were" because she passed away.)

I know people sometimes get married from one or more of a variety of wrong reasons. Mine was that I was tired of being alone and lonely while ignorant of how not to be, and went after someone who felt similarly. Believe it or not she and I were never really in love. So, if I ever remarry it will be to someone who I sincerely believe I must be with due to being in love, and who sincerely feels the same way about me. Differences will always be present, but so will love; so, arguments will be inevitable but they won't win.

That's what Mod told me and I did. Viola. I have an avatar. That was 21 years ago. We're older, but she's very young-looking. I think most would peg her around 35, though she's 44.

On the second part, loneliness is a feeling I've had, and though I'd rather have that than be with someone wrong, it sure sucked for me. I hated it. "It's not good that man should be alone." Truer words never spoken. But I agree that it takes love or nothing ever works. Love is a funny word. It means very different things to different people. So you'd have to make sure she means the same thing you do when you say it to each other. And emotions are tricky. They have to be watched closely.

Kelly
 

Cristian M

Well-Known Member
Mar 2, 2014
184
456
47
Bucharest, Romania
Why does anyone marry anyone? I can tell you that my wife is WAY out of my league. I'm not just saying that. Every single male friend I have agrees entirely with that. When we meet new people they look at her, then me, then back at her and wonder how in Heaven's name did that happen. Seriously. My Pastor in Massachusetts told me that I "have a beautiful family." And we only had a baby at the time. What he meant, but would never say, was how did you land her. I passed up my own 20 year reunion at West Point to take her to her 20 year high school reunion (she was a cheerleader at her high school) because I wanted to see how her old friends responded to me. As expected, surprise. I've tried to post a picture from our wedding as an avatar but haven't been able to make it work. If I did, you'd understand what I'm saying. She's a stunningly beautiful woman.

I know why she says she married me: because I was always honest with her and she could trust me entirely. I know why I chased her: because she was crazy gorgeous. But after 21 years of marriage I agree that marriages change over time. I can tell you this though, I love her more and more every day. She is one of the most un-lazy people I know. She works all the time, at my office, taking care of the kids and the house. But mostly, I wake up each morning, look at her and pinch myself again...how did this happen? I'm the most blessed man in the world.

But, in this book, the way I read it was that she "settled" because she retreated from her past and let it affect how she saw herself and her worth. That may be wrong, but it's how I saw it.

Kelly
you are handsome, too. People should not be surprised seeing you two married.
 

Neesy

#1 fan (Annie Wilkes cousin) 1st cousin Mom's side
May 24, 2012
61,289
239,271
Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
That's what Mod told me and I did. Viola. I have an avatar. That was 21 years ago. We're older, but she's very young-looking. I think most would peg her around 35, though she's 44.

On the second part, loneliness is a feeling I've had, and though I'd rather have that than be with someone wrong, it sure sucked for me. I hated it. "It's not good that man should be alone." Truer words never spoken. But I agree that it takes love or nothing ever works. Love is a funny word. It means very different things to different people. So you'd have to make sure she means the same thing you do when you say it to each other. And emotions are tricky. They have to be watched closely.

Kelly
Viola? You have an avatar?

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