Women Rules (according to men)

[DiO'Bolic]

As a tie-in to the St. Joseph’s Day thread...

What If It Had Been 3 Wise Women??

Do you know what would have happened if it had been three Wise
Women instead of three Wise Men?

Women would say:

They would have asked directions, arrived on time, helped deliver
the baby, cleaned the stable, made a casserole, and brought
practical gifts.


Here's Men's rebuttal.....

Yeah, and do you know what they said would have said when they
left?

"Did you see the sandals Mary was wearing with that gown?"

"That baby doesn't look anything like Joseph!"

"Can you believe they let all of those disgusting animals in the
house?"

"I heard that Joseph isn't even working right now!"

"And that donkey that they are riding has seen better days too!"

"Want to bet on how long it will take until you get your casserole
dish back?"

 

[Out of Order]

At noon, I will still be working.....so I will expect updates on all games every 10 minutes until I get home this evening.
I also expect lunch to be delivered to me and all the girls I work with, complete with a nice white wine and a fruit platter.....I don't expect you to deliver it yourself, because you'll be busy texting the updates.....but make it happen.
During commercials and halftime, you can begin marinating the steaks for supper, and yes, I expect a full delicious meal prepared for me when I return.....complete with wine, of course. Oh, and don't forget the game food snacks for the important game at 7:00.....which I will be watching, and most likely helping coach from my spot on the couch.

Women shall be allowed to prattle.

 

[blunthead]

I think you got the definition of "always" confused that of "never"......

It's okay, just don't let it happen again......I would really hate to have what happened to Frank happen to you

I've already warned warned everybody not to go to Yemen with you.

 

[blunthead]

Please note, that George Carlin was smart enough not to cross a woman.......a wise man, indeed

Wise he was because he knew he was stupid.

 

[GNTLGNT]

1. SportsCenter starts at 11:00 PM and runs an hour. This is a
great time to pay bills, put laundry in the dryer or talk to your
sister.

2. Two hot dogs and a beer at a baseball game DO, in fact,
constitute going out to dinner.

3. Unlike you, we essentially want to dress just exactly like all
our friends. Thus, you need not go much further than the Gap, J.
Crew, Banana Republic or the local Patagonia store.

4. If we see you in the morning and at night, why call us at work?

5. Butthead is the smart one.

6. Is it too much to ask to have the bra match the underwear?

7. You probably don't want to know what we're thinking about.

8. Silence does not need to be filled with discussions about "us"
and "the relationship."

9. Things you can help with: the Sunday crossword, yard work, the
dishes, cleaning, and grocery shopping.

10. Things you should let us do alone: figuring out where we are,
watching anything on TBS, playing cards, smoking cigars and picking
out the beer.

 

[HollyGolightly]

Golden Rule in my house: If he only knew how utterly sexy I find it when a man cooks dinner, cleans up the kitchen and brings me a glass of wine or a beer while I'm relaxing in a bubble bath every single night. Also, if I could have my first cup of coffee delivered to me before I place my feet on the floor in the morning, just quietly leave it on the nightstand. I will be in a good mood all day long, and if you complete the dinner chores, you'll be a lucky man every single night.

 

[HollyGolightly]

As a tie-in to the St. Joseph’s Day thread...

What If It Had Been 3 Wise Women??

Do you know what would have happened if it had been three Wise
Women instead of three Wise Men?

Women would say:

They would have asked directions, arrived on time, helped deliver
the baby, cleaned the stable, made a casserole, and brought
practical gifts.


Here's Men's rebuttal.....

Yeah, and do you know what they said would have said when they
left?

"Did you see the sandals Mary was wearing with that gown?"

"That baby doesn't look anything like Joseph!"

"Can you believe they let all of those disgusting animals in the
house?"

"I heard that Joseph isn't even working right now!"

"And that donkey that they are riding has seen better days too!"

"Want to bet on how long it will take until you get your casserole
dish back?"

Thanks for the laughs this morning, Dio - I sure needed them.

 

[Out of Order]

1. SportsCenter starts at 11:00 PM and runs an hour. This is a
great time to pay bills, put laundry in the dryer or talk to your
sister.

2. Two hot dogs and a beer at a baseball game DO, in fact,
constitute going out to dinner.

3. Unlike you, we essentially want to dress just exactly like all
our friends. Thus, you need not go much further than the Gap, J.
Crew, Banana Republic or the local Patagonia store.

4. If we see you in the morning and at night, why call us at work?

5. Butthead is the smart one.

6. Is it too much to ask to have the bra match the underwear?

7. You probably don't want to know what we're thinking about.

8. Silence does not need to be filled with discussions about "us"
and "the relationship."

9. Things you can help with: the Sunday crossword, yard work, the
dishes, cleaning, and grocery shopping.

10. Things you should let us do alone: figuring out where we are,
watching anything on TBS, playing cards, smoking cigars and picking
out the beer.

 

[DiO'Bolic]

Thanks for the laughs this morning, Dio - I sure needed them.

You're welcome. I also have a special bond with St. Joseph... I was named after him.

 

[Out of Order]

Golden Rule in my house: If he only knew how utterly sexy I find it when a man cooks dinner, cleans up the kitchen and brings me a glass of wine or a beer while I'm relaxing in a bubble bath every single night. Also, if I could have my first cup of coffee delivered to me before I place my feet on the floor in the morning, just quietly leave it on the nightstand. I will be in a good mood all day long, and if you complete the dinner chores, you'll be a lucky man every single night.

Women shall keep a good supply of Mr. Bubble on hand........

 

[Dana Jean]

Bill Maher said about men and women, :

• "Couples should explore their mutual fantasies." There's no such thing as a mutual fantasy. Yours bore us; ours offend you.

 

[Alexandra M]

Men are always right.

Do you have brain farts often?

 

[GNTLGNT]

Do you have brain farts often?