Bad movies

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Neil W

Well-Known Member
May 27, 2008
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Isle of Wight UK
I know enjoyment of movies is entirely subjective - there are movies the critics have loved which I have found awful: conversely, I have thoroughly enjoyed some movies which are acknowledged to be stinkers.

But there are undoubtedly movies out there where something went massively wrong between conception and execution, or where conception was fundamentally flawed to start off with. Here are two, with reasons:

Silent Bloodnight
This is a slasher movie. The main character is a busty girl with an enormous forehead, frequently in a bikini (the girl, not her forehead), reporting for the local TV station. Her father is the local police chief. Did I mention that this is a Austrian slasher movie, in lovely Austrian scenery? Did I also mention that the dialogue is in English, spoken by the cast in Schwarzenegger accents, possibly learnt phoetically (it is difficult to tell, since none of them can actually act)? This one is so bizarre that I recommend it.

Aquanoids
Seaside deaths due to a Black Lagoon-type creature. Yep, just the one, putting the lie to the plural in the title. This one must have had a budget of all of fifty bucks, though it is difficult to see where it went on screen. Bad acting, rip-off script, non-existent production values etc., all qualities I expected, are joined by technical ineptitude on a scale rarely seen. This one is so bad that I do NOT recommend it - it cost me 50p in a remainder bin, and I was robbed.
 

mustangclaire

There's petrol runnin' through my veins.
Jun 15, 2010
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East Sussex, UK
I watched one Sunday night and it had Sly, Bruce Willis, Micky Rourke, Dolph Lungren and others, can't even remember the name of it. It was the worst thing I've ever seen. Like the producer just picked up all these famous guys, stuck them all in a film and thought that'd be enough. 2 hours of my life I won't get back.
 

blunthead

Well-Known Member
Aug 2, 2006
80,755
195,461
Atlanta GA
If somebody had done something REALLY bad to me, and I had to torture them out of revenge, I would strap them to a chair and make them watch 'The Hiphop Witch' over and over again. I bought it because Eminem was in it, made it to about 12 minutes. Terrible, horrible, horrible movie.
This thread is reminding me of something which I can't help sharing! For those not yet in the know check out Mystery Science Theater 3000. Netflix has episodes, there are many Youtube examples...

 

Chuggs

Well-Known Member
Feb 6, 2012
3,777
6,426
Arkansas
I watched one Sunday night and it had Sly, Bruce Willis, Micky Rourke, Dolph Lungren and others, can't even remember the name of it. It was the worst thing I've ever seen. Like the producer just picked up all these famous guys, stuck them all in a film and thought that'd be enough. 2 hours of my life I won't get back.
That's The Expendables. Its a good movie to me. Its impossible to take seriously, but sometimes that's ok. I liked it. The sequel is even better.
 

HollyGolightly

Well-Known Member
Sep 6, 2013
9,660
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Heart of the South
I watched one Sunday night and it had Sly, Bruce Willis, Micky Rourke, Dolph Lungren and others, can't even remember the name of it. It was the worst thing I've ever seen. Like the producer just picked up all these famous guys, stuck them all in a film and thought that'd be enough. 2 hours of my life I won't get back.
Totally irrelevant but I had a dream - two dreams actually - that I met my guardian angel and he looked just like Dolph Lungren and he was wearing this unspeakably fine leather coat and had the most enchanting smile that made me know everything would always be OK. I love seeing Dolph now.

Sorry - just had to share some craziness.
 

ghost19

"Have I run too far to get home?"
Sep 25, 2011
8,926
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Arkansas
I'd consider being forced to watch "Titanic" akin to being water boarded...check that...at least when water boarded your face gets washed with water. I can find nothing at all redeeming about Titanic...except rooting for the iceberg in the movie...:)
 

fushingfeef

Finally Uber!
Aug 14, 2009
10,194
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Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
"Alien from L.A." is among the worst I have ever seen. Kathy Ireland is lovely, but no actress.

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blunthead

Well-Known Member
Aug 2, 2006
80,755
195,461
Atlanta GA
Quiet Days in Hollywood is the first movie I think of when I think of the worst movie I think of. It's just a great example of how, when making a movie, to do everything badly. If it weren't for Hilary Swank the acting would be as bad as humanly tolerable. The director is clear only in that he has no idea what he's doing or why. I think the movie should be shown as a lesson in every film school in what not to do.
 

CriticAndProud

Not actually dead, just very inactive.
Aug 26, 2013
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This thread is reminding me of something which I can't help sharing! For those not yet in the know check out Mystery Science Theater 3000. Netflix has episodes, there are many Youtube examples...


Hey you like MST3K as well ? Cool ! Being an Aussie, no-one has ever really heard of the show over here. They are missing out.

(I think I considered Crow as an avatar for this site)
 

CriticAndProud

Not actually dead, just very inactive.
Aug 26, 2013
5,955
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Australia

Grandpa

Well-Known Member
Mar 2, 2014
9,724
53,642
Colorado
It's a really old one, but Bobbie Jo and the Outlaw was one of the few movies that I walked out of. Not even Lynda Carter naked, or at least topless, could salvage that one. Dreadful.

Woody Allen is hit-and-miss for me. A group of us watched Match Point, and we just kinda coughed politely at the end, and the husbands told the wives that we were owed for that one. But "Deconstructing Harry" - we couldn't make it past the first 15 minutes. "Are you enjoying this?" "No." *click*
 

skimom2

Just moseyin' through...
Oct 9, 2013
15,683
92,168
USA
The worst I've seen lately is Dead Man Down-I guess the fact that it was produced by WWE Films should have been a giveaway, but the cast looked so good... BH and I couldn't make it past 15 mins of that one. It was just awful.

I'm a fan of neither Spielberg nor Allen, but I guess the production values are pretty good (even if the stories themselves are crap--lol).
 
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