Crushed and Terrified

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Anduan Pirate Princess

Well-Known Member
Oct 13, 2015
768
5,977
41
Rhode Island
I need some good vibes, please. It feels like a thousand years ago that I posted saying we were moving to Florida soon. Well, last night my husband came home and dropped a bomb on me. He said he hasn't been happy in a long time, and that he does not want to be married anymore. He doesn't want to drag us both miles away from family and friends if we're going to keep on being miserable. He left the house last night, and is planning on finding a mediator on Monday. I have never broken up with anyone before; he was my first love and we've been together for sixteen years; married for nearly ten. Our tenth anniversary would have been July 28. We got married right out of college, when we were 24.

I'm so confused, and afraid. I admit we have major personality differences that caused problems once in awhile, but I never thought it would come to this. I also can't imagine facing the world alone from now on.

If this post is inappropriate, I apologize. I could just use some hugs.
 

Doc Creed

Well-Known Member
Nov 18, 2015
17,221
82,822
47
United States
I need some good vibes, please. It feels like a thousand years ago that I posted saying we were moving to Florida soon. Well, last night my husband came home and dropped a bomb on me. He said he hasn't been happy in a long time, and that he does not want to be married anymore. He doesn't want to drag us both miles away from family and friends if we're going to keep on being miserable. He left the house last night, and is planning on finding a mediator on Monday. I have never broken up with anyone before; he was my first love and we've been together for sixteen years; married for nearly ten. Our tenth anniversary would have been July 28. We got married right out of college, when we were 24.

I'm so confused, and afraid. I admit we have major personality differences that caused problems once in awhile, but I never thought it would come to this. I also can't imagine facing the world alone from now on.

If this post is inappropriate, I apologize. I could just use some hugs.
I'm very sorry to hear this, APP. I wish I had some encouraging words or advice but this is out of my purview. However, I will say that speaking with someone who has experience with this could lend some wise counsel. Don't let fear cause you to make any drastic decisions. Wishing you the best.
 

ghost19

"Have I run too far to get home?"
Sep 25, 2011
8,926
56,578
51
Arkansas
Oh no APP. I'm so sorry about this. I really am ma'am. That is completely devastating and I've been there. It's the worst feeling in the world. I really don't have anything that I can say. Relationships are so damn complicated when you've been together for that long. I hope you're able to get thru it, the only way I did was not to think one hour ahead but just to keep my eyes on the ground one foot in front of me for months and months because if I thought about it too much is was mentally overwhelming. I was with my ex-wife 21 years and it completely devastated me. Different circumstances but the end result was the same, the other half of you is no longer there. Try to stay strong although I know that's impossible in a situation like this.
 

Spideyman

Uber Member
Jul 10, 2006
46,336
195,472
79
Just north of Duma Key
So sorry to hear this APP. On a positive note, he told you before the move. Do you have family and friends where you are living now? They will be your support. Lean on them! The Ka-Tet is here for you also. Realistically, you most likely would like to have your own legal adviser. Take it one step at a time. I will hold you to prayers, positive thoughts and guidance.
 

HollyGolightly

Well-Known Member
Sep 6, 2013
9,660
74,320
54
Heart of the South
Oh sweetness I'm so sorry this is happening to you! You're not alone. I had a similar thing happen to me in my first marriage - we weren't married that long, but it was still hurtful and shocking. But he did me a favor - I made a different and better life. And you will do the same. It may be hard and it may take time, but you will rise again - stronger and happier than you ever thought possible. Cyber hugs to you - and feel free always to vent away here. I love the SKMB, and during the hard times these folks here are invaluable. Wishing you much love and peace.
 

Anduan Pirate Princess

Well-Known Member
Oct 13, 2015
768
5,977
41
Rhode Island
Oh, everyone, I can't thank you enough for all the wonderful words. Today I am just a crying mess, but luckily I have the two best parents in the world that are here for me. It will be hard because I'm an only child, and I don't have many close friends at all because I tend to be an introvert. I can't help but feel it's going to be a long, lonely road. Thanks again. You have no idea how much it means to me to have people on my side thinking good thoughts. :love_heart::love_heart::love_heart::flat:
 

cat in a bag

Well-Known Member
Aug 28, 2010
12,038
67,827
wyoming
Reading this made me supremely upset for you! You have been through such a gamut of emotions, the job interview and waiting to hear yay or nay. Then the excitement and anxiety of planning the big move, now this....oh I am so very sorry you are going through this.

You DO have good friends in all of us here. And we will be here for you, supporting you as best we can! I am sending so many good vibes your way!! I echo morgan, I wish I could give you a hug for real. Sending great big hugs to you. We will help you through!

:love_heart:
 

osnafrank

Well-Known Member
Jan 24, 2017
7,121
50,822
47
Germany
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Keep that in Mind
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GNTLGNT

The idiot is IN
Jun 15, 2007
87,651
358,754
62
Cambridge, Ohio
...I cannot imagine your pain sweetheart....the loss of the one you thought would always be there, is a hurt that carves the soul deep....however, heed the advice and good thoughts that preceded mine and those that will follow....the empty feeling of betrayal seems limitless at this moment, but the human heart is an amazing organ....soon it will remember the ache, but not to an incapacitating degree and your life will go on, changed but on an upswing...we are a family here, and you are always welcome....lean on the strength of the Tet and all will be well....GNT hugs freely given....
 

mjs9153

Peripherally known member..
Nov 21, 2014
3,494
22,165
That is so rough,I feel awful for you! But like the kind words of all above,remember you have friends here and hang in there,a day at a time..don't apologize for posting your feelings,if anyone here can help,you know they will..very nice people that will help guide and listen,anytime..in the meantime,remember..