Valentine`s Day confusion...

GNTLGNT · Feb 15, 2017

skimom2 said:
I've always liked the caring aspect of the holiday--although TV commercials make it about romantic love, we were raised that it's more about showing you care (and not to listen to commercials--lol). This year, though...I kind of get what SRBO is saying. I saw a third grader in tears because he gave a girl a 'gold' ring and asked her to be his girlfriend: she turned him down. My son said a fifth grade girl in his class received A THONG from a boy in another class! My friend's seventh grader went all out: flowers AND a teddy bear AND a necklace AND movie tickets for a girl he's 'dating' (eating lunch with, essentially, as he has no job, can't drive, and they go nowhere). The fact that a parent bought into this nonsense is another topic. But what the actual HELL?! The sexualization of children is insane.

...a thong???????.....dear frickin' gawd......

Srbo · Feb 15, 2017

skimom2 said:
I've always liked the caring aspect of the holiday--although TV commercials make it about romantic love, we were raised that it's more about showing you care (and not to listen to commercials--lol). This year, though...I kind of get what SRBO is saying. I saw a third grader in tears because he gave a girl a 'gold' ring and asked her to be his girlfriend: she turned him down. My son said a fifth grade girl in his class received A THONG from a boy in another class! My friend's seventh grader went all out: flowers AND a teddy bear AND a necklace AND movie tickets for a girl he's 'dating' (eating lunch with, essentially, as he has no job, can't drive, and they go nowhere). The fact that a parent bought into this nonsense is another topic. But what the actual HELL?! The sexualization of children is insane.

This!
This is why I started the thread.
It sure as heck didn`t look all so innocent to me either....

skimom2 · Feb 15, 2017

GNTLGNT said:
...a thong???????.....dear frickin' gawd......

I KNOW! Had I been her parent, I would have come unglued. My 20 year old daughter got fancy soaps, candy, and her beloved's class ring, for cripe's sake!

ghost19 · Feb 15, 2017

skimom2 said:
I've always liked the caring aspect of the holiday--although TV commercials make it about romantic love, we were raised that it's more about showing you care (and not to listen to commercials--lol). This year, though...I kind of get what SRBO is saying. I saw a third grader in tears because he gave a girl a 'gold' ring and asked her to be his girlfriend: she turned him down. My son said a fifth grade girl in his class received A THONG from a boy in another class! My friend's seventh grader went all out: flowers AND a teddy bear AND a necklace AND movie tickets for a girl he's 'dating' (eating lunch with, essentially, as he has no job, can't drive, and they go nowhere). The fact that a parent bought into this nonsense is another topic. But what the actual HELL?! The sexualization of children is insane.

I know what you mean. My son lets me read his Instagram account posts. Yesterday I was reading several from SIX AND SEVENTH graders that were themed much more sexually than you would have thought these kids were capable of. "Can't wait until A COUPLE OF YEARS from now when we can have kids and let everyone know how in love we are", goes one post from a 7th grade girl. The response from her boyfriend, also a 7th grader.. "That will be awesome babe, can't wait. You're the love of my life and I know we'll always be together......Really? In 7th grade, you're absolutely sure about that kind of commitment. WTF?...lol

Spideyman · Feb 15, 2017

What happened the simplicity of Valentine's Day? skimom2 and ghost19 -- question: was Valentine's Day like that for you when you were in school? It certainly was not during my school year, nor my children's. I stopped teaching in 2001 and did not see this display. What happened in the passing years? Is this the norm, acceptable for parents to permit such gifting? Has it become an "my child can out do your child"?

Maddie · Feb 15, 2017

Srbo said:
This!
This is why I started the thread.
It sure as heck didn`t look all so innocent to me either....

WOW! I was about to come in to concur with MaryAnn about the children and harmlessness of the Valentines and then but BOOm this subject just got extremely interesting with ski mom's post put a whole new spin on it, thanksss Ski mom, and youre right, what the actual Hell??? :icon_eek:

Srbo, your daughter is so lucky to have a Dad like you right behind her. and You rock! :smile2:

edit to add , and I just saw ghost post, and just , again, :icon_eek:

ghost19 · Feb 15, 2017

Spideyman said:
What happened the simplicity of Valentine's Day? skimom2 and ghost19 -- question: was Valentine's Day like that for you when you were in school? It certainly was not during my school year, nor my children's. I stopped teaching in 2001 and did not see this display. What happened in the passing years? Is this the norm, acceptable for parents to permit such gifting? Has it become an "my child can out do your child"?

I noticed girls in seventh grade, don't get me wrong, but it seems like now you HAVE to have a steady boyfriend or girlfriend by the time you're in sixth grade. My son says there are weekly fights over certain boys between girls because one of the girls thinks the other has been "looking" at "her man" or has been texting him, instagramming him..whatever. He said there are more girls in detention than boys these days and most of it is due to fights over boys. Just last week, he said he walked past a hair pulling fist fight where two girls passing each other in the hallway between classes just threw their backpacks down and went at it because one saw "her man" talking to the other girl. No questions asked, no offers of "let's talk this out", just going at it. Both were suspended he said. You would think the parents would be going berserk about this.
I barely got the nerve up to speak to a girl until I got to college, and that was after a couple of beers so I didn't get violently ill afterwards...lol

Ebdim9th · Feb 15, 2017

Happy Ten Seconds to Love Day .... seems like even romance is fast disappearing in the rear-view mirror.....

skimom2 · Feb 15, 2017

Spideyman said:
What happened the simplicity of Valentine's Day? skimom2 and ghost19 -- question: was Valentine's Day like that for you when you were in school? It certainly was not during my school year, nor my children's. I stopped teaching in 2001 and did not see this display. What happened in the passing years? Is this the norm, acceptable for parents to permit such gifting? Has it become an "my child can out do your child"?

I completely agree, Spidey. I've never encountered this so early with any of my other kids (23, 20,18). I mean, there were, "so and so are boyfriend/girlfriend" type conversations, but it generally lasted a couple of days until the kids got bored. Now it's nuts! True story: there's a first grade boy at the school where I aide who is a real doll--I mean, he's going to be a heartbreaker well before he's in high school. I've seen the future Queen Bees (and, yes, you can identify them this early) get into fistfights if he seems to look at one more than at another. FIRST GRADE. My son is under pressure every day to 'go out' with someone, and they're not just making goofy eyes by 5th grade. I laugh it off, and so far he agrees with me. I don't remember this hyper sexuality when I was a kid, not even when my older kids were elementary level. It makes me sad and sick. As far as the parents, they seem to completely buy into it--they think it's fun. I don't see it that way at all. When you normalize sexuality at a young age, can you be surprised when kids are having kids (or STDs) by high school?

Spideyman · Feb 15, 2017

skimom2 said:
I completely agree, Spidey. I've never encountered this so early with any of my other kids (23, 20,18). I mean, there were, "so and so are boyfriend/girlfriend" type conversations, but it generally lasted a couple of days until the kids got bored. Now it's nuts! True story: there's a first grade boy at the school where I aide who is a real doll--I mean, he's going to be a heartbreaker well before he's in high school. I've seen the future Queen Bees (and, yes, you can identify them this early) get into fistfights if he seems to look at one more than at another. FIRST GRADE. My son is under pressure every day to 'go out' with someone, and they're not just making goofy eyes by 5th grade. I laugh it off, and so far he agrees with me. I don't remember this hyper sexuality when I was a kid, not even when my older kids were elementary level. It makes me sad and sick. As far as the parents, they seem to completely buy into it--they think it's fun. I don't see it that way at all. When you normalize sexuality at a young age, can you be surprised when kids are having kids (or STDs) by high school?

Just blows my mind. Guess the world really did move one!

cat in a bag · Feb 16, 2017

Valentine's Day celebrations at my kids school is still pretty innocent. Just little cards with candy attached. Ty's class (4th grade) had an ice cream float party.

But, Ali (5th grade) came home the other day and said so and so and so and so from her class, who are "going out," the girl and boy's parents got together and rented them a limo and it was there to pick them up after school. I said, Oh, brother! :facepalm_smiley:

I think social media has a bunch to do with the ridiculousness...I would bet anything the parents were right there recording it on their phones to post on facebook.

Not my kids. For crying out loud, growing up decent is hard enough. There is no point in putting that kind of pressure or those kinds of ideas in kids heads at such a young age. They will be sorry, probably sooner than later.

ghost19 · Feb 16, 2017

cat in a bag said:
Valentine's Day celebrations at my kids school is still pretty innocent. Just little cards with candy attached. Ty's class (4th grade) had an ice cream float party.

But, Ali (5th grade) came home the other day and said so and so and so and so from her class, who are "going out," the girl and boy's parents got together and rented them a limo and it was there to pick them up after school. I said, Oh, brother! I think social media has a bunch to do with the ridiculousness...I would bet anything the parents were right there recording it on their phones to post on facebook.

Not my kids. For crying out loud, growing up decent is hard enough. There is no point in putting that kind of pressure or those kinds of ideas in kids heads at such a young age. They will be sorry, probably sooner than later.

Seems like a lot of pressure for kids that age and I'm sure you are completely correct about the parents doing it more for their Facebook score than anything else. That seems to be what it's all about nowadays. 5th grade? Boys and girls were still being kept separate at recess when I was in that grade....lol

DiO'Bolic · Feb 16, 2017

ghost19 said:
Seems like a lot of pressure for kids that age and I'm sure you are completely correct about the parents doing it more for their Facebook score than anything else. That seems to be what it's all about nowadays. 5th grade? Boys and girls were still being kept separate at recess when I was in that grade....lol

Back in my day at that age all the girls had cootie bugs.

ghost19 · Feb 16, 2017

DiO'Bolic said:
Back in my day at that age all the girls had cootie bugs.

Yep, and the girls all thought we were made up of snails and puppy dog tails...lol

Hill lover35 · Feb 21, 2017

Spideyman said:
Srbo. I am not sure about Canada customs regarding Valentine's Day and children. As you know I am well up there in age(72) and celebrating Valentine's Day has been part of my entire life. I do recall giving and receiving drawings, treats, cards even in kindergarten. By third grade it was a big event.

I am a little surprised that your daughter's teacher did not send home a reminder of the days event at her school. Way back when, students would actually have the other students name on the card. In time, it became more politically correct to have 'each' child receive a card, thus no names on cards. The teacher would provide a list of the students within her class and the parents would then know the number of cards to provide.

Again, back in the day, some parents would bake cookies, or cupcakes. Now, all food has to be store bought and individually wrapped. If a family could not afford cards, often the parent would help the child make simple cards from colored paper. And often, again, in my day, the teacher would have extra cards available.

Valentine's Day for child is more about caring and sharing. Not the adult meaning of "Love". I guess in a way, a child's Valenine's Day is a Friendship Day.

Again, it does concern me that the teacher did not mention this event in advance. Does your daughter's school have an event calendar?

Do not worry, Srbo, it is just a fun day for the children , and as you said, your daughter came home all happy and had a good time. That's what it's all about for a child. Not the "adult theme", but rather a day at school to have fun. Hope that helps.

Yes I live up in Canada and am a 35 year old female, and all I rember was getting Valentine's from every class mate but it was not a hole day affair it was usually inthe morning for like an hour or something, then we had regular school and no small gifts. And my mom whould give us small chocolates..

Hill lover35 · Feb 21, 2017

DiO'Bolic said:
Yup, except for St. Patrick’s Day. Anything that celebrates inebriation can’t be all bad.

I think,we did some type of craft, and the room was decorated in green

Hill lover35 · Feb 21, 2017

skimom2 said:
I've always liked the caring aspect of the holiday--although TV commercials make it about romantic love, we were raised that it's more about showing you care (and not to listen to commercials--lol). This year, though...I kind of get what SRBO is saying. I saw a third grader in tears because he gave a girl a 'gold' ring and asked her to be his girlfriend: she turned him down. My son said a fifth grade girl in his class received A THONG from a boy in another class! My friend's seventh grader went all out: flowers AND a teddy bear AND a necklace AND movie tickets for a girl he's 'dating' (eating lunch with, essentially, as he has no job, can't drive, and they go nowhere). The fact that a parent bought into this nonsense is another topic. But what the actual HELL?! The sexualization of children is insane.

Wow a thong... Wtf? Where did he get a thong? His mother or sister. Did the parent by into the 7th grader? I think if I was a parent I whould be like ummmmm no.. this is nuts

Hill lover35 · Feb 21, 2017

skimom2 said:
I completely agree, Spidey. I've never encountered this so early with any of my other kids (23, 20,18). I mean, there were, "so and so are boyfriend/girlfriend" type conversations, but it generally lasted a couple of days until the kids got bored. Now it's nuts! True story: there's a first grade boy at the school where I aide who is a real doll--I mean, he's going to be a heartbreaker well before he's in high school. I've seen the future Queen Bees (and, yes, you can identify them this early) get into fistfights if he seems to look at one more than at another. FIRST GRADE. My son is under pressure every day to 'go out' with someone, and they're not just making goofy eyes by 5th grade. I laugh it off, and so far he agrees with me. I don't remember this hyper sexuality when I was a kid, not even when my older kids were elementary level. It makes me sad and sick. As far as the parents, they seem to completely buy into it--they think it's fun. I don't see it that way at all. When you normalize sexuality at a young age, can you be surprised when kids are having kids (or STDs) by high school?

Wow yet another reminder I am getting old. At 35, this is stupid, we all had like crushes at that age, but not like I love you crap

Hill lover35 · Feb 21, 2017

cat in a bag said:
Valentine's Day celebrations at my kids school is still pretty innocent. Just little cards with candy attached. Ty's class (4th grade) had an ice cream float party.

But, Ali (5th grade) came home the other day and said so and so and so and so from her class, who are "going out," the girl and boy's parents got together and rented them a limo and it was there to pick them up after school. I said, Oh, brother! I think social media has a bunch to do with the ridiculousness...I would bet anything the parents were right there recording it on their phones to post on facebook.

Not my kids. For crying out loud, growing up decent is hard enough. There is no point in putting that kind of pressure or those kinds of ideas in kids heads at such a young age. They will be sorry, probably sooner than later.

WTF? Ok what age is this again?

Neesy · Feb 21, 2017

Hill lover35 said:
Wow a thong... Wtf? Where did he get a thong? His mother or sister. Did the parent by into the 7th grader? I think if I was a parent I whould be like ummmmm no.. this is nuts

I guess it wasn't this type of thong? :smile2:

Pearl-Beaded-font-b-Thong-b-font-font-b-Sandals-b-font-For-Women-Bohemia-Style.jpg

We used to call flip flops "thongs"

I'm Canadian too and I remember it being a day where we all exchanged little Valentine's cards but it was all pretty innocent.

At the risk of sounding like a fossil here - yup - some kids are growing up way too fast!

Valentine`s Day confusion...

The idiot is IN

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