Dealing With A Death At Christmas Time

Discussion in 'Chattery Teeth (Other)' started by pegasus216, Dec 24, 2013.

  1. pegasus216
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    pegasus216 The Old Biddy

    Yesterday, the 23rd, is the anniversary of my mother's death. I can't believe it has been 19 years since she left me.
    Since then, Christmas has never been the same for me. She always came over for dinner, and to spend time with me on that day.
    I miss her so much. She would just eat my grand daughter, Kat, up, and spoil her rotten.
    GNTLGNT, Autumn Gust, Winter and 14 others like this.
  2. Spideyman
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    Spideyman Uber Member

    (((((pegasus))))) hold the memories, and savor the magic of Christmas. Am sure your mom would want you to do just that.
  3. Moderator
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    Moderator Ms. Mod Administrator

    Holidays are especially hard when death of a loved one comes around a holiday as that's always a reminder of that anniversary. (((Mary)))
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  4. AnnaMarie
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    AnnaMarie Well-Known Member

    My mom was diagnosed two days before Christmas, 1987. She died the day after Mother's Day 1988. Last year, my grandson was born on her birthday. It doesn't make up for it, but it is nice.

    My brother died Christmas about ten years ago. He committed suicide. The coroner ruled it accidental, but it wasn't.

    Anyway, it was difficult to start enjoying Christmas again after those things, but we have.
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  5. Moderator
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    Moderator Ms. Mod Administrator

    (((AnnaMarie)))
    GNTLGNT, Autumn Gust, Winter and 8 others like this.
  6. Spideyman
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    Spideyman Uber Member

    ((((AnnaMarie))))
  7. HollyGolightly
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    HollyGolightly Well-Known Member

    Oh honey! Suicide is so hard - the sadness left in the wake. A close friend of mine did that last year and I'm still thinking of her every single day, wishing I could step through a door and go back and wrap my arms around her and remind her how loved she is and to beg her to stay with us. I don't think you ever get over that. I hope you've found some peace with it.
  8. HollyGolightly
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    HollyGolightly Well-Known Member

    Christmas is a time of sadness for me too - it seems like many people I love left this world near Christmas. My dad went into the hospital Christmas Day 1987 and died Jan 9th 1988. I was 18. Too many others really to mention here and now. But I'm always melancholy during the Christmas season.
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  9. pegasus216
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    pegasus216 The Old Biddy

    Hugs to everyone who has lost a family member during this time of year.
    (((((Anna Marie)))))
    (((((Holly)))))
  10. Moderator
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    Moderator Ms. Mod Administrator

  11. mjs9153
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    mjs9153 the Dude abides

    Pegasus,AnnaM,and Holly,so sorry that this a time of remembering hard things..an anniversary of this type is always tough,but doubly hard whenever everyone is making merry..Anna,just in general,it has been my experience that sometimes,people accidentally commit suicide,when they are really not intending for it to go all the way,and that is why the coroner will make that ruling..no real comfort,but perhaps it was just a mistake,sometimes people get so caught up in their own pain,they just don't think straight..just wanted to offer condolences,and support,so hang in there..[​IMG]
  12. king family fan
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    king family fan Prolific member

    I am sorry for your losses. The holiday season is a really bad time to loose someone. Hold the Dearest memories close to you heart.
  13. if-so-Grrl
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    if-so-Grrl Well-Known Member

    (((((Mary)))))
    (((((AnnaMarie)))))
    (((((Holly)))))
    (((((Anyone else who needs a hug)))))
    GNTLGNT, Autumn Gust, Neesy and 9 others like this.
  14. AnnaMarie
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    AnnaMarie Well-Known Member

    I spoke with the coroner's office, as well as others who work in that and related fields.

    When in doubt, a coroner will often rule accidental because, a life insurance policy often won't pay out in a suicide (my brother didn't have one), some cemeteries won't allow a burial (suicide is murder), and accident is mentally easier on the family.

    With my brother, I understand why he did what he did. I never felt angry at him, which people often do.

    ~~~~

    Everyone else who has suffered Christmas losses {{{{hugs}}}}. I hope you were able to enjoy Christmas and that as each year passes the pain is less and the joyful memories increase. :)
    Spideyman, Neesy, GNTLGNT and 5 others like this.
  15. HollyGolightly
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    HollyGolightly Well-Known Member

    You know, I find that it's not so much a grieving every year as I find myself having to relieve it all and tell my story again inside my head - every year, same story, as if one of these days there's going to be a different ending. But it's a quick busy holiday - and who would I be without that pain? Not who I am now for sure.
    mjs9153, Spideyman, Neesy and 4 others like this.
  16. GNTLGNT
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    GNTLGNT Idiot in Situ and Unholy Devourer of Cookies

    [​IMG] ....peace unto all of you....my love to everyone....

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