Secrets to a Good Relationship
- Thread starter KingAHolic
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Oh, and always try and make each other laugh.
Plus, have your own designated Mancave/Ladycave where you can slip away to that is your own space. If it has a lockable door, poor cell reception and has a fully stocked bar, even better.
Plus, have your own designated Mancave/Ladycave where you can slip away to that is your own space. If it has a lockable door, poor cell reception and has a fully stocked bar, even better.
Of course that is a recommendation for both in the relationship - not just myself!
My husband and I talk about everything, as soon as it comes up. We never let anything sit and fester, and it's pretty much a rule for both of us. And once a conversation is done, it's done. We solve our problem and move on with our lives.
When it comes to our past, we've told each other almost everything. There are some things I haven't told him, but they don't matter anymore. Those things are in the past, they're dead, and why burden my husband unnecessarily? But as far as our present goes, we have no secrets from each other. Unless it's of the "I'm not telling you what I got you for Christmas" variety.
We're 100% honest with each other. We will not lie, about anything. That may not work for everyone, but it's crucial for me. I take honesty very seriously, and I've dropped friends and a previous husband for lying to me. So, no lies. Ever.
We take fidelity very seriously as well. Again, this is a deep, real need of mine that my husband respects, and he has chosen to live by the same code I do. Which means being faithful mind, body, and spirit. Porn is banned in this house, we don't fantasize about anyone but each other, (honesty again) we don't flirt with other people, and strip clubs are verboten. I know it's strict, I know others would say we have no fun, but we're actually a couple of freaks. We're discovering things about each other we never would have guessed, and we grow closer every day.
We say what we mean. There are no word games between us. We are completely forthright with each other, and because of this, my husband knew exactly what he was getting himself into before he ever proposed to me. It's the only way I can feel ok with all the crazy things I need from a spouse; he knows how I am, and chooses to be with me and be who I need of his own free will. And vice versa.
We accept and respect each other. That's probably the biggest key to why our marriage works as well as it does. We can be ourselves with each other and we don't have to be afraid of being ridiculed. As similar as we are, we are also vastly different people. And that is perfectly ok.
We both take responsibility for our house, our son, and our life. We share the load, so to speak, equally.
And we have fun. Whether it's watching TV or going for a drive or whatever, we enjoy each other's company. He's gone so much at work, it's really special when we can just kick back and enjoy each other as a couple and as a family.
Now let's hope this all lasts for the next fifty years or so!
When it comes to our past, we've told each other almost everything. There are some things I haven't told him, but they don't matter anymore. Those things are in the past, they're dead, and why burden my husband unnecessarily? But as far as our present goes, we have no secrets from each other. Unless it's of the "I'm not telling you what I got you for Christmas" variety.
We're 100% honest with each other. We will not lie, about anything. That may not work for everyone, but it's crucial for me. I take honesty very seriously, and I've dropped friends and a previous husband for lying to me. So, no lies. Ever.
We take fidelity very seriously as well. Again, this is a deep, real need of mine that my husband respects, and he has chosen to live by the same code I do. Which means being faithful mind, body, and spirit. Porn is banned in this house, we don't fantasize about anyone but each other, (honesty again) we don't flirt with other people, and strip clubs are verboten. I know it's strict, I know others would say we have no fun, but we're actually a couple of freaks. We're discovering things about each other we never would have guessed, and we grow closer every day.
We say what we mean. There are no word games between us. We are completely forthright with each other, and because of this, my husband knew exactly what he was getting himself into before he ever proposed to me. It's the only way I can feel ok with all the crazy things I need from a spouse; he knows how I am, and chooses to be with me and be who I need of his own free will. And vice versa.
We accept and respect each other. That's probably the biggest key to why our marriage works as well as it does. We can be ourselves with each other and we don't have to be afraid of being ridiculed. As similar as we are, we are also vastly different people. And that is perfectly ok.
We both take responsibility for our house, our son, and our life. We share the load, so to speak, equally.
And we have fun. Whether it's watching TV or going for a drive or whatever, we enjoy each other's company. He's gone so much at work, it's really special when we can just kick back and enjoy each other as a couple and as a family.
Now let's hope this all lasts for the next fifty years or so!
Beautiful!My husband and I talk about everything, as soon as it comes up. We never let anything sit and fester, and it's pretty much a rule for both of us. And once a conversation is done, it's done. We solve our problem and move on with our lives.
When it comes to our past, we've told each other almost everything. There are some things I haven't told him, but they don't matter anymore. Those things are in the past, they're dead, and why burden my husband unnecessarily? But as far as our present goes, we have no secrets from each other. Unless it's of the "I'm not telling you what I got you for Christmas" variety.
We're 100% honest with each other. We will not lie, about anything. That may not work for everyone, but it's crucial for me. I take honesty very seriously, and I've dropped friends and a previous husband for lying to me. So, no lies. Ever.
We take fidelity very seriously as well. Again, this is a deep, real need of mine that my husband respects, and he has chosen to live by the same code I do. Which means being faithful mind, body, and spirit. Porn is banned in this house, we don't fantasize about anyone but each other, (honesty again) we don't flirt with other people, and strip clubs are verboten. I know it's strict, I know others would say we have no fun, but we're actually a couple of freaks. We're discovering things about each other we never would have guessed, and we grow closer every day.
We say what we mean. There are no word games between us. We are completely forthright with each other, and because of this, my husband knew exactly what he was getting himself into before he ever proposed to me. It's the only way I can feel ok with all the crazy things I need from a spouse; he knows how I am, and chooses to be with me and be who I need of his own free will. And vice versa.
We accept and respect each other. That's probably the biggest key to why our marriage works as well as it does. We can be ourselves with each other and we don't have to be afraid of being ridiculed. As similar as we are, we are also vastly different people. And that is perfectly ok.
We both take responsibility for our house, our son, and our life. We share the load, so to speak, equally.
And we have fun. Whether it's watching TV or going for a drive or whatever, we enjoy each other's company. He's gone so much at work, it's really special when we can just kick back and enjoy each other as a couple and as a family.
Now let's hope this all lasts for the next fifty years or so!
It's complicated, and single-line aphorisms don't cover it. And what works for one couple won't work for another.
We have secrets, and we respect each other's secrets. We have secrets because things that we might say and do, although not badly intended, would hurt the other if disclosed. We trust each other not to be hurtful.
Communication is important, but for us, knowing what not to say is as important as knowing what to say.
My own primary things: I tell her I love her every day. I listen when she has a criticism, and if it's well-founded, I act on it. I do or something to make her laugh, hard, at least once a day.
Mostly, it's patience and finding and keeping common ground and not letting fester the things that bug you. Compromise isn't self-sacrifice. It's an important part of human socialization.
And you can do all the right things, but people change as they grow. If you're lucky, you grow together. If you're not so lucky, you can grow apart. And sometimes, sadly, that's inevitable.
Not very romantic advice here. But we've been married for over four decades now, we still hold hands, aren't embarrassed by little PDAs, and do the things we need to do to keep the relationship vibrant. So we got something going, but I don't know that what we do can be condensed to a formula that works for others.
We have secrets, and we respect each other's secrets. We have secrets because things that we might say and do, although not badly intended, would hurt the other if disclosed. We trust each other not to be hurtful.
Communication is important, but for us, knowing what not to say is as important as knowing what to say.
My own primary things: I tell her I love her every day. I listen when she has a criticism, and if it's well-founded, I act on it. I do or something to make her laugh, hard, at least once a day.
Mostly, it's patience and finding and keeping common ground and not letting fester the things that bug you. Compromise isn't self-sacrifice. It's an important part of human socialization.
And you can do all the right things, but people change as they grow. If you're lucky, you grow together. If you're not so lucky, you can grow apart. And sometimes, sadly, that's inevitable.
Not very romantic advice here. But we've been married for over four decades now, we still hold hands, aren't embarrassed by little PDAs, and do the things we need to do to keep the relationship vibrant. So we got something going, but I don't know that what we do can be condensed to a formula that works for others.
Olivia Harrison was asked the secret to a long marriage she answered, It's simple, don't get divorced. That seems a bit simplistic, but I think it means you need to be commited. Not walking out because of towels on the floor or running out of milk. Unless the relationship is toxic don't be ready to run at any excuse. Charelton Heston said it was the three words every woman wants to hear. 'I was wrong'. Abit of both I think.
Well I'd offer advice, but since no one really likes me, I got nothing.
I was gonna say whiskey, but OoO and Sunny beat me to it...
I was gonna say whiskey, but OoO and Sunny beat me to it...
Well I was going to say something about a good cake, but I won't
Do not rush into something you and especially your partner aren't ready for, I learned this last summer when I started to dating my
current partner. Be kind and listen to this other person opinion and suggestions too. Be there for each other. Communicate it's much
than argue. Love and listen and talk.
current partner. Be kind and listen to this other person opinion and suggestions too. Be there for each other. Communicate it's much
than argue. Love and listen and talk.
