Well, after 17 years I'm officially done with Law Enforcement as of 5pm next Friday April 24th. Accepted the analyst position I was offered and made it official earlier this week. I have absorbed ten times the amount of ribbing I'm used to in the last three days. It's my day off so I've had the house to myself today and it seems more quiet than usual. I think it's finally started to hit home today. Been thinking a lot about all the guys and gals I've worked with for so many years. More than that, been thinking about the place itself. Every office in that whole building has some type of funny, terrible, or just important memory attached to it. Weird feeling.... However, over the course of the last few days, I HAVE been given some good tidings and well wishes from my co-workers and colleagues, for example:
"How will we coordinate date night with your mom after you're gone?"
"It's about GD time. If you didn't leave we were going to plant dope in your desk and frame you."
"Who's going to wax the Sergeant's chest and lovingly cup his .....?" (You can use your imagination on this one)
"Who in their right mind would actually hire someone who hasn't produced JACK S&%T as far as work in ten years?"
"Christ, were you the ONLY applicant for the job? Because that's the only friggin' way I could see you getting hired by ANYONE!"
"Who did you put down as a reference? It sure as S@%T better not have been me, because I would have told them you had a problem with tardiness and bestiality." (My personal favorite so far)
All this and then yesterday I'm at lunch with my friend and co-worker of seventeen years. We literally started here almost the same week back in 1998. Myself as a 911 dispatcher, he started as a jailer. We've both rotated through several divisions but we've been in the same division now for over six years, most of those spent in cubicles right across from one another. We were talking and finishing our sub sandwiches. We've both been kinda quiet this week, well, as quite as either of us ever are. He's known for a long time I've been wanting to leave LE but when you actually make the decision to leave LE it's different. I'm starting to realize that now. As we walked out of the restaurant, he just said "Man, this place is going to be so weird without you.", and just shook his head. It wasn't anything ground shaking or monumental that he said, but somehow it drove it home more than anything else has so far. It's not like I can't still see everyone but once you're gone, you're not cleared for hearing about criminal information, what cases are being worked on, etc. It's almost the voluntary Dark Tower equivalent of being sent West. So, what do you talk about? I've had that experience with other guys and girls who've quit or retired. If they come back into the building to visit, it's with an escort and you can't really talk shop anymore with them, just "how you doing, how's your family?' type conversation. I still think I made the right call, but the place seems really close today. I guess I'm just not as much of a hard ass as I used to be...lol Everyone have a good weekend.
Your post actually brought tears to me eyes. I know, I'm a crier. The changing of jobs, the changing of your lifestyle from the past 17years has to weigh on your mind. Hold each and every good memory close. Hold the bad ones a little further away--
as they are still part of those 17 years. As you said, it will not be the same. You won't have the discussion of cases, but you will still have your friends. Things may change, but true friends will remain friends.
You will soon begin a new chapter in your life. The making of new friends at the new job, learning new skills, and most important becoming a full time father and husband. I think- I hope- in years to come, you will see how important this decision was to your family life.
The leaving of a job held so long and working so close with co workers is like losing a dear friend in real life. You will grieve, you will go through the steps of grief and eventually you'll see yourself on the new path-- you may feel like being sent West, but think of the new journey in life you will experience. May the Tower that awaits be filled with love and green lights!